Bill Curtis

Bill Curtis with Chicago's number one news, Channel 2, the 10 o'clock news. In Chicago, the connection between organized crime and prostitution was the target of government sting. More from Ned Potter.

Coming from Paramount Pictures. He's very good, yeah. He's the best. Hey man, he's great. He's the king out there. John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever.

Hey, Wait, Wait listeners. It's your judge and scorekeeper, Bill Curtis. We have another episode of How to Do Everything, hosted by Wait, Wait producers Mike Danforth and Ian Shillog. This week, Mike and Ian help a listener who wants to stop scaring people while she's going on runs. So they call an Olympian runner. She'll know what to do.

If you like what you hear, they won't live in this feed forever. So be sure to follow them at their own feed and enjoy the latest episode of How to Do Everything.

Colton Johnson of Boston, Massachusetts. Okay.

I love a deal, but I'll pass on a leg workout at 40,000 feet.

Two out of three. Hall of Famer.

I'm NPR and WBZ Chicago. This is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Adam Felber, Maz Jobrani, and Joyelle Nicole Johnson. And here again is your host at the Wang Theater in Boston, Massachusetts, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill.

It has bristles above and beneath. With one swoop, there's a bright pearly wreath. Since I'm in a great rush, here's my double-jaw brush. In one go, it cleans all of my...

Mount Everest we did surpass because our breathing was smoother than glass. We raced like a phenom by puffing on xenon. We cheated by snorting some...

Here is your last limerick. From Montana to deep Texarkana, we all smell in a tropical manner. We all feel the appeal of Chiquita's blue seal. So the scent of the gear is... Banana?

Everybody's got two.

Five right, ten more points, total of 12. Maz goes into the lead.

Joyelle got three right, six more points, total of eight. Means Maz is holding on. And how many then does Adam Felber need to win? Five to tie and six to win. Ooh, that's a high hill to climb. Here we go, Adam.

Almost. Five right. Ten more points. A total of 12 puts him in co-championship. I like that. There you go.

Well, if any of that happens, panel, we're going to ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Do I smell clam chowder? No, it's just my rich and creamy voice. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Box Center Wang Theater in Boston, Massachusetts, Peter Stegall.

She did great. Got to give her three in a row.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Maz Jobrani, Adam Felber, and Joyelle Nicole Johnson. And here again is your host at the Wang Theater in Boston, Massachusetts, Peter Sagan. Thank you, Bill.

And then, since the Paris Olympics had just ended, we decided to talk to an actual Olympian about what it was like. And now the game we call Not My Job.

Two out of three, Mary. That's a win. Good list. You did it.

From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in the Fine Arts Building in downtown Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill, and thank you, everybody.

Peter, I've always thought of you as the leftover turkey of public radio.

You might be thinking, well, we're all nerds here. We all make little figurines down in our basement. But what makes Barois special is what he uses to make them.

Larry Sylvester of San Francisco, California. All right. You ready to do this? Yes.

Lyndon got two right, and you have won... You have won a little tiny statue.

Finally, here's an interview with actor Maya Hawke, who also joined us in May, and talked with guest host Alzo Slade.

Bill, how did Maya Hawke do on our quiz? She did great. Two out of three, and Maya, that is a win. See?

From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm the person everyone thinks of when they're asked what they're thankful for. Bill Curtis. And here is your host at the Studebaker Theater and the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill.

Was it the echoes coming off the top of his head?

We've asked you here to play a game we're calling Mountain Climber meets Social Climber.

Lilac Rain Thompson of Black Mountain, North Carolina.

For example, Eric Wyan-Mior, a man who climbed the tallest building on every continent and had many other adventures despite being blind. But as we discussed when he joined us in June, he was perhaps most famous for something else entirely. We first heard about you.

He got two out of three, and that's enough for a win.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, and here's your host at the Studebaker Theater and the Fine Arts Building in downtown Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill.

And since we consider you family, we're going to share a few of them with you. But don't hog them like you did the sweet potatoes.

Did you know that chocolate chip cookies come in a bucket?

Chris Dunn of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

That's a win. Congratulations.

She had been performing even before that, doing experimental theater in downtown New York and on tour in Europe. Peter asked her about the effect of that formative experience.

LAUGHTER

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host. At the Studebaker Theater and the Fine Arts Building in downtown Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

When I was a young man, it wasn't a good night out unless I had already started the next one.

From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm the guy who had to permanently retire from the wet T-shirt contest in Daytona Beach so somebody else could win. Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater in the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

Andy Hill of Boston, Massachusetts. All right.

While we elbow aside a bunch of Florida State sophomores so we can be first in line for frozen margaritas, here's a conversation with Eric Idle of Monty Python.

Bill, how did Eric Idle do in our quiz? Well, he woke up on the better side of life because he got all right. Congratulations, Eric.

From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater in the Fine Arts Building in downtown Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

Damn, now where am I supposed to score my uppers?

Last June, we went to Philadelphia to interview a man who had grown up just a few blocks from where we were talking to him. and had become one of the most famous jazz bassists in the world.

How about these meters?

Brennan Schmidt of Concord, New Hampshire.

She broke the tape and won all three races. Oh.

Martin Gardner of Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Bill, how did Nate Berkus do on our quiz? It was almost perfect, but you still got two out of three, which means you're a winner!

Shane Brown of Portland, Oregon.

You know, he's a winner, and you're going to leave a winner. Absolutely. You're not afraid.

Teresa Durkin of Kansas City, Missouri. Thank you.

Oh, you know, she got two right. I forget the third. Yeah. But that's a winner in our game.

B.T.H. meet B.T.S.

Written the trinites of Round Rock, Texas.

Brian, you did great. You got them all right. You're a winner.

It's our biggest non-sporting event of the year, and we expect the betting to really pick up. as we head toward the Conclave.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Nagin Farsad, Luke Burbank, and Brian Babylon. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Karen Big Dog. Thank you, Bill. Thank you.

To my brain, a sweet signal you send. It's a pizza and late night talks blend. It's that wonderful sense of letting me vent. Thank you for being a... Friend?

That's correct.

If your car is nearby, maybe you should check her. He's a mirror and shiny car hood wrecker. Lots of damage occurred from this hard-headed bird. Now our town lives in fear of a

Viral infections are dumb, but the thought of a shot leaves me numb. They don't yet have slurpees for flu or for herpes. I will chew on this germ killing.

She did wonderfully. Three in a row, Celine. Good going.

McGeehan and Brian each have two, and Luke is skyrocketing at four.

That's what that bluff will do for you.

I know.

Five right, ten more points. Total of 12 puts her in the lead. Six.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, except no substitute. But by all means, except Peter Sagal's substitute, here at the Studebaker Theatre at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, it's Karen Chee.

For the first time in 10 years, I'm honored to say that Brian got every single one. Oh! 16 more points, total of 18.

Seven to tie and eight to win.

Six right, 12 more points, total of 16. It was close, but not a win. Brian is the champion! Yay!

And if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Karen Chee!

Please and thank you.

I really don't care about plant-based.

Oh.

Kevin rocked with three in a row. He won.

NPR and WBEZ Chicago. This is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Luke Burbank, Brian Babylon, and Nagin Farsad. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Karen Chee.

Childhood fears come true.

Kara Young of Houston, Texas. All right, you ready to play?

But I believe it's two out of three.

Hope for the best.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Tom Papa, Hari Kondabolu, and Dulce Sloan. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

A big blimp with what seems like a metal skin. And it soars, so I guess I'll be stepping in. Sure, planes are all right, but I'll book my next flight on that old-fashioned airship, the... I don't know. I don't either.

All right, here is your next limerick. When bath time is long and monsoony, our skin tends to get quite cartoony. Though fingers will shrivel, the imprint stays civil. It's steady each time they get... Bruny.

My taste buds are not being fickle. They love a dill, garlic, salt tickle. Sweet and sour is fine, but now add some brine. This lemonade's great with a... Pickle!

I'm gonna drink myself to death if it kills me.

Hardy and Tom each have three.

Five rights, 10 more points, total of 12. Puts her in the lead, right? All right. Very well done.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm the original, big, beautiful Bill. Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

Bill, how did Harry do in our quiz? Six right, 12 more points. Total of 15 puts him in the lead. All right. How many, then, does Tom Papa need to win? Six to tie and seven to win, Tom.

Well, Tom got close. Five right, ten more points. Total of 13 means he's in second place. And guess who is the winner today? Harry!

Well, if any of that happens, panel, we're going to ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

I have not written and will not be writing a book called Nightshade Market.

Bill, how did Olivia do in our quiz? She's from Chicago, so she got them all right. Olivia.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Tom Papa, Dulce Sloan, and Hari Kondabolu. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody.

Terry Brincotter of Orlando, Florida.

Bill, how did Mo Wagner do on our quiz? Mo, two out of three is a win. Yes, it is.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I am Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Alonzo, Bowdoin, Paula Poundstone, and Eugene Cordero. And here again is your host at Dr. Philip Seder for the Performing Arts in Orlando, Florida, Peter Sagan. Thank you.

There's not much we old penguins require. A nice pool and a good fish supplier. Old age has a perk. We are done with our work. In this part of the zoo, we... Retire.

There you go.

Here is your next limit. Sometimes towers of food can be fraught slugs. Fancy foods overwhelm and are thought bugs. But nothing's more fun than some wieners and buns. So we're serving a tower of... Ah, gloves. How we're alone.

Sometimes towers of food can be fraught slugs. Fancy foods overwhelm and our thought bugs. But nothing's more fun than some wieners and buns. So we're serving a tower of... I'm dying here.

At the gym, all my muscles are aching. So this new buzzy workout I'm taking. All day, I just vibrate, and then I rehydrate. I'll get really fit by just... I am bombing so hard.

Alonso and Paula each have three. Eugene has two.

Pretty good. Six right, 12 more points. Total of 14. Puts him in the lead.

Six right, 12 more points. His 15 puts him in the lead.

Six to tie, Paula.

She got four right, 11 more points, but not enough to catch Alonzo. There we go. Thank you, Florida. Congratulations. Thank you.

If any of that happens, we're going to ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

This is NPR.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, and today, I'm your Florida man. And here's your host at the Walt Disney Theater at Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts in Orlando, Florida, Peter Sagal.

Research questions and make a list of topics beforehand.

Bill, how did Kim do in our quiz? What a score. Three in a row. You won. Congratulations, Kim.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Eugene Cordero, and Alonzo Bowden. And here again is your host, Dr. Philip Center for the Performing Arts in Orlando, Florida. Thank you.

What about that downtown funk?

Brad Martin of Seattle, Washington. It's a 206. I have to represent.

Well, he's a winner. Two out of three. Mark, congratulations. We'll give you another Emmy for this.

Thank you.

Nora Wing of Ithaca, New York. All right.

Yay! Now you did good. Amazing.

Jeff Spray of Anderson, South Carolina.

Two out of three means you're a winner here.

From NPR and WBZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Forget your silver bells, I'm your silver fox. Bill Curtis, and here's your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

from NPR and WBEZ Chicago. This is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Roy Blount Jr., Hari Kondabolu, and Dulce Sloan. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

Brushing Fido's a bit of a slog. But as pet owner, I go whole hog. First, I taught him to sit. Now I use him to knit. I spun yarn with the hair from my... Dog.

Here is your next limerick. Hot men aren't hard-edged or feudal. And rodent dudes pack your caboodle. A modern cute gent, eh? He's barely al dente. He is skinny and limp like a...

From this tallow, my skin gets relief. But the internet's giving me grief. The fat from a cow makes a wrinkle-free brow. So I'm rubbing my face with some... Beef?

Bill, how did Becky do in our quiz? She is a champion. Becky, good job.

Dulce and Roy each have two, and Hari has three.

What?

Yeah. Bill, how did Dulce do in our quiz? Dulce got seven right for 14 more points, a total of 16. Dulce has the lead.

Three right, six more points, total of eight for Roy. All right.

He got three right, six more points, nine is the total, but guess who won? Dulce! Dulce!

Well, if any of that happens, we're going to ask you about it right here on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Bill, how did Melanie do in our quiz? She deserves a win, so we're going to call her a winner. Good job.

Thank you.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is, wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Hari Kondabolu, Dulce Sloan, and Roy Blunt Jr. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sago. Thank you, everybody.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Sink your teeth into me, North Carolina. I'm your hot and saucy Bill McHugh. Yeah! I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at DPAC in Durham, North Carolina, Peter Sagal.

Stop your ranting and go to sleep.

Jolene Dugas of Durham, North Carolina. All right.

No ranting about this. He won it all. Three in a row.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Adam Burke, Alonzo Bowden, and Dulce Sloan. And here again is your host at DPAC in Durham, North Carolina, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill.

It's like Goliath versus Goliath.

I am.

I used to crave foods that the swine adore, but now I eat kale with a primal roar. With Diplodocus feasts, my gut health has increased. Now I chomp on raw greens like a... Or?

Cords and sockets make night rest real sweet, though I'm still not quite clear on the deets. Night terrors I'm shedding by grounding my bedding. I sleep when I plug in my... Sheets? Sheets, yes. Yes, indeed.

When AI learns to translate, we all win. Under sea clicks and whistles, we'll call in. A bottlenose swimmer will be this round's winner. The limericks won by a... Dolphin.

Alice will be swimming with the dolphins. Two out of three. Right is a win.

Adam has one, Alonzo has two, Dulce has four.

He's way out in front. Six right, 12 more points, total of 13 in the league.

Bill, how did Alonzo do in our quiz? Well, he's making it a very close race. Five rights, ten more points, but his 12 is one short of Adam.

Well, she got four right, eight more points, 12. That means she's one behind the Irishman who wins. Wow. Adam Burke, here you go.

And if any of that happens, we're going to ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

This is NPR.

It's like summer camp, except with a really fancy bed and premium craft cocktails.

Bill, how did Tim do in our quiz? He gave us a great start. 3-0. Well done, Tim! Okay, thanks, Peter. Bye-bye.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Alonzo Bowden, Adam Burke, and Dulce Sloan. And here again is your host... at DPAC in Durham, North Carolina. Peter Sago.

In April, we all traveled to Detroit to speak to Michigan's governor, Gretchen Whitmer, who had just published a book with a title inspired by her nickname, Big Gretch.

Jeff Kruger of Livonia, Michigan.

Thank you. And wait, wait, don't stop. We'll give it up for your governor, ladies and gentlemen.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in the Fine Arts Building in downtown Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

That's it. I'm going to find a way to relax even if it kills me.

We went to Richmond, Virginia in February to celebrate what the city was most famous for, the legendary shock rock band, GWAR. Thank you.

But we, of course, focused in on her most important formative experience, being coached at T-Ball by none other than Peter Sagal.

Maureen Tarr of Natick, Massachusetts. There you are. All right, ready to play?

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Invite me to your Memorial Day picnic. I'll eat your deviled eggs no matter how long they've been out in the sun. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theatre and the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody.

Bill, how did Kara Jackson do in our quiz? Two out of three, Kara. You are the poet laureate who won the game. Congratulations. Congratulations.

bill who is josh playing for larry anderson of denver colorado all right here we go

Bill, how did Josh Gad do in our quiz? Well, how can you get a bigger winner? Congratulations, Josh.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. Here's your host at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill.

First up, actor Josh Gad, the voice of Olaf, the snowman in Frozen, among many other roles. He joined us in January to talk about his new memoir.

All I know is my heart chakra is outperforming the Tao.

One of the more interesting was in February with Amber Maycutt. She's known in the media by an unusual title, which Peter asked her about when she joined us.

Is it because more than 12,000 children are estimated to have become godsons and goddaughters to an Argentine president in the past 117 years? Or could this drastic cut be the result of current President Malay being a werewolf himself? Werewolves are not known for bureaucracy. When they spot their victim, there is no paperwork or higher authority to check in with.

Simply a thirst for flesh and unbridled bloodlust. Also, there is a massive improvement of basketball skills as is depicted in the 1985 film Teen Wolf starring Michael J. Fox.

Jeff Kruger of Livonia, Michigan.

And wait, wait, don't come. We'll give it up for your governor, ladies and gentlemen.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Josh Gundelman, Roxanne Roberts, and Hari Kondabolu. And here again is your host at the Fox Theater in Detroit, Michigan, Peter Sagal.

Killing the turkey. No. Can I have a hint? Does it involve the turkey in some way?

I've gotten many half-standing ovations in my life, and each one of them hurts more than not getting a standing ovation. When you say, like, a standing ovation... Meaning, like, I finish a show, and then half the audience stands up, and the other half refuses to stand up, which bothers me, because eventually you have to stand up to leave. LAUGHTER

Though we spent lots of dough on this bling, our engagement was just a long fling. Since our love didn't linger, I've got a nude finger. The judge made me give back the...

Man, Hollywood's full of it, man. Really? Do you realize the number of years I've pitched sexy Christmas movies? But no, they did not want How the Milf Stole Christmas. They did not want Sex, Actually. Yeah. They did not want Babes in Toyland, same title, different plot. Right.

They grow, though we never plant seeds. Now they're meeting our fine dining needs. Once they've been cleaned, they're a fine leafy green. And our meals are now filled with...

A home should be comfy and snugly. Not a place to flaunt flawless taste smugly. Don't live in a shrine of perfect design. Include a fun piece that is...

Does it work if everything in your house is ugly and you have one nice thing? Like one really nice thing.

Abby was perfect. She got them all right.

Josh and Roxanne each have three.

Toilet paper.

Got three right. He now has a total of eight. And the lead. All right.

Good for them.

Josh got five right, but he couldn't catch Roxanne. Roxanne is this week's winner.

Hari Kondabolu. Fast and furious Christmas movies. Let's see how fast Santa's sled can go with some nitrous oxide.

Well, if any of that happens, we're going to ask you about it here on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Right now, I'm waiting for him to name George Santos.

If a caricature artist drew a picture of Matt Gaetz, it would just look like Matt Gaetz. That really is true.

He was against vaccines before the worms ate his brains. That's really true, yeah. How do you think it got the worm?

From NPR and Easy Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Take a Michigander at this hunk of man. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Fox Theater in Detroit, Michigan, Peter Segal. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody.

But he lucked three in. So, Charles, congratulations.

Thank you.

Um... Sunscreen. Using sunscreen. No. I've never used sunscreen, I'll be honest with you. It did feel a little racist when you said that, yeah. Yeah, it felt weird. Bathing.

No, really? Yeah. Trying on the clothes of strangers and dead people? Yes, that apparently is not particularly good for your health. That's my favorite thing to do, though, Peter.

Do any of you have hard and fast rules? I used to be against buying used shoes, but that's gone by the wayside. Right. Do any of you have rules about what you will not buy? A toothbrush. Fair. Fair. Fair.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Roxanne Roberts, Josh Gondolin, and Hari Kondabolu. And here again is your host at the Fox Theater in Detroit, Michigan, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill.

Argentina isn't just a great place for hikers and for people who randomly have German last names. It's now a safe haven for werewolves. In an austerity measure, Argentina is eradicating a 50-year-old law that protects your kid from becoming a werewolf.

As all Argentinians know, your seventh consecutive son or daughter becomes a werewolf unless, according to this law, the president of Argentina automatically becomes your child's godparent and gives that kid a scholarship for $150. An amount that doesn't even cover a semester at University of Phoenix Online. Why end this law now?

Hi, Cameron.

Michelle Musara of Cleveland, Ohio. All right. Woo-hoo!

Mamma mia, two out of three is a win. Congratulations.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Peter Gross, Emmy Blotnick, and Fortune Feimster. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute...

My new ride is sealed tight as a jar. I've got keys, but I can't get too far. New tech is a scandal. I can't budge the handle. I cannot get into my... Car.

All right, here's your next limerick. At our club, we make sure that this show rocks. We ban faces that register no shocks. Once you wrinkle and crack, we'll invite you all back. But don't come if your face has head.

Good man.

All right, here's your last limerick. In big boxes, they pick up the slack. They're called peanuts and help people pack. Dissolved, they look spreadable. Yet, they're not edible. Stop munching them like they're a snack.

Emmy has three. Fortune and Peter each have four. Okay.

Seven right, 14 more points. Total of 17, hard to beat. All right.

Yeah.

Fortune's a player. Five right, ten more points. Fourteen is her total, but she trails Emmy.

Well, he got five right, ten more points, 14, which is a tie with fortune. But Emmy is our winner. Yeah.

Well, if any of that happens, we're going to ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

This is NPR.

Kylie McNogue came to the palace to perform the locomotion, and it is music for dancing.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I've got a juicy dump truck voice. I'm Bill Curtis. And here's your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much.

Bill, how did Cameron do in our quiz? Cameron from Bath, Maine did very well, 3-0. Congratulations. Good job, Cameron.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Emmy Blotnick, Peter Gross, and Fortune Feimster. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Right now, it is time.

Kurt Gallagher of Suffern, New York. All right.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Joyelle Nicole Johnson, and Mo Rocca. And here again is your host at Carnegie Hall in New York City, Peter Sagal.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Anybody here reindeer? Because I'm about to slay. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at Carnegie Hall in New York City, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you. Thank you, everybody.

Waking early to sweat is no fun, so I don't want to be your plus one. The weddings I choose feature live bands and booze, not a nuptial day five-mile long.

When we plants get too thirsty and dry, we make sounds that are piercing and high. We let out a wail, and the moths all set sail. And they don't lay their eggs when we... Cry.

Preppy parents are not being cruel. We think Kingsley and Forrest are cool. Those names sound real neat. They shout social elite like they go to an Ivy League party.

How did Erin do? Well, you've got to give it to her. All three. Way to go.

Bill, how did Paula do in our quiz? Six right. 12 more points. Her total to 14. Puts her in the lead.

Well, she and Mo did enough to tie.

Well, if any of that happens, panel, we're going to ask you about it right here on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

For some, love might be blind, but for me, it's not.

A fake Chanel handbag, a Super Mario bodysuit, two fake IDs, and a Kanye West teddy bear.

Megan pitched us three pitches. And she won. Congratulations, Megan. There we go, Megan.

From NPR, WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Mo Rocca, and Joelle Nicole Johnson. Ew! And here again is your host, Carnegie Hall and New York City beater, Segal.

Boys collecting the accoutrement of the Edwardian era. Pipes and smoking jackets. Your last new collection comes from Peter Close.

That's a great neighborhood. What do you do there?

Somewhere out there, somebody is excited. Somebody's excited about a new collectible. Was it from Shane O'Neill, the kids in a small Japanese town who were all collecting and trading the cards depicting the

middle-aged and older men in their town, with all their stats in the back, I presume, from Rachel Koster, a town in Long Island where a bunch of boys are all really into smoking jackets, or from Peter Gross, a town in Ohio where everybody's collecting those wax rinds from little Baby Bell cheeses. Which of these is the story of a new collectible we read about in the news?

A luxury fitness company? Ooh. I'm just imagining what the culture in the office must be like. Does everyone wear spandex all the time? And do you have meetings while people are, like, on their exercise bikes? Oh, absolutely. Right. Do you ever just want to come in wearing baggy pants and just sit there and eat yodels?

So you can see yourself as a 12-year-old just like going, Mom, I just need more of that baby bell, throwing away the cheese, keeping the wax. Well, to bring you the real story, we spoke to a reporter covering it.

That was Andrew Corblay of the Good News Network talking about the collectible old man cards in the town in Japan. So even though Peter's idea was delicious and tempting, to me as well, sadly he was lying to you, and Shane was telling the truth. So sadly you didn't win, but you earned a point for Peter. The right to go out and have some Babybel whenever you want.

Thank you. Well, thanks for playing. Take care. Bye-bye. And now the game we call Not My Job.

Austin Goolsbee was chair of Barack Obama's Council of Economic Advisors, and then he became a professor at the University of Chicago, and in 2022 became the president of the Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago, which we assume means he's in charge of finally winning the war with the Federal Reserve Bank of Kansas City.

We thought it'd be a great time to hear from somebody who can tell us what the hell is going on. So Austin Goolsbee, welcome back to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Great to be with you again. So I guess I'll just start with this. How was your week?

It was. A little bit. A little bit.

So as I said, you were named to be president of the Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago. What does that mean exactly?

So I understand that there are 12 Federal Reserve Banks And some of them, some of you presidents get to be in that open markets committee. And that's like this weird arcane thing where you meet and everybody stands outside like you're naming a new pope.

And then what always happens is the head of the Federal Reserve comes out and he announces that if you're going to raise or lower or leave interest rates alone.

Okay. Well, it's great to have you with us, Jen. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, he's a reporter for the Washington Post where he writes the fabulous Style Memo newsletter. It's Shane O'Neill. Well, hello, Jen. How are you?

Do you guys get into, like, rivalries? Like, you know, you sort of try to... Oh, yeah.

Try to... Give me an example of how you would talk trash with the head of the Atlanta Federal Reserve Bank.

Oh, man, Austin's going on about the pumpkins again.

We did, in fact, want to talk to you about what's going on. You may remember that when you joined us back in 2018, we asked you if you could explain what tariffs were and how they worked. And you gave us this wonderful metaphor of using a tariff to fix your economy is like using an explosive to clear a clogged drain. And that you may get good results.

Exactly. It was amazing. And so if your Aunt Trina's lasagna was sufficient to explain the relatively low tariffs that President Trump was putting in place then, what would be adequate to explain what he's doing now?

But now, I mean, instead of, I'm guessing, and maybe you can't speak about it because of your position now, but I'm guessing, like, instead of Antrina's lasagna being stuck in the pipes, now it's Antrina. He's down there. Nothing else is going down.

Hi. Next, you know her from her TikTok show, Boy Room. It's Rachel Koster.

We're Austin Goolsbee, it's always so great to talk to you. You make economics far less dreary, but we have invited you.

That's what I mean. That's what I mean. It's your enthusiasm that does it for us. But we have invited you here to play a game we're calling... Goolsbee, Goolsbee Shoppin'. We're thinking about your name, Austin Goolsbee, and we wondered, Goolsbee, Goolsbee what? Shopping, of course. Goolsbee Shopping. And where would Goolsbee shop in? Spirit Halloween, of course.

We're going to ask you three questions about the nationwide chain of pop-up costume stories. You'll win a prize. One of our listeners, the voice of anyone they may choose for their voicemail bill, who is... Chicago Federal Reserve President Austin Goolsbee playing for.

And an actor and writer who can be seen in the show Two Square on Thursday, April 24th at the UCB Theater in New York. It's Peter Gross. Hi. Hi, Peter. So, Jen, welcome to the show. You're, of course, going to play Who's Bill? This time, we start the show with Bill Curtis performing for you. Three quotations from this week's news.

All right, here's your first question. Spirit Halloween actually pays to license their costumes based on movies and TV, but others don't, such as Walmart, who sold, obviously, a Wednesday Addams costume, but they called it what? A, evil midweek cutie. B, Tuesday Eve's. Or C, goth nine-year-old?

It is. It is. Of course.

Of course.

Very well done, yeah. All right, here's your next question. Although their main focus is the three months, of course, around Halloween, Spirit Halloween, as a company, has tried to expand its brand with which of these? A, Spirit Halloween the movie, B, Spirit Halloween fresh home meal kits, or C, Spirit Halloween the water park?

Yes, you're in the movie. It's about three teenagers who get locked in a Spirit Halloween store on Halloween and ghostly hijinks ensue. It was released on streaming in 2022. All right, our last question, this evening would be perfect. Spirit Halloween, of course, most famous for their sexy whatever costumes, you know. Which of these is a real sexy Halloween costume? A, sexy Mr. Peanut.

B, sexy Walter White from Breaking Bad, or C, sexy pizza rat?

It is, but they're all real. All of them. You can be any one of those you like. Bill, how did Austin Goolsby do on our quiz?

Congratulations again. I think you're two for two on our show. And after you appeared earlier on our show, you became president of the Federal Reserve. So I can only imagine what glories await you now, sir.

Austin Goolsbee was one of Salon.com's 15 sexiest men of 2010. He's also the president of the Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago. Austin Goolsbee, thank you so much for coming back and joining us. Thank you. Thank you, sir. Take care. Thank you. In just a minute, we will reveal where Bill Curtis got his latest tattoo. It's our Listener Limerick Challenge game.

Your job, of course, correctly identify or explain just two of them. Do that, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show, you might choose for your voicemail. Ready to go?

Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

It's the game where if you lose, everybody backstage makes fun of you. It's the listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, even now, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Peter, a super fan of the rapper Young Thug recently showed off his new tattoo online, which covers his entire back.

It's a picture of three galloping horses under the Young Thug lyric, horses don't stop, they keep going. There's just one problem with the tattoo. What? It's either a misspelling or they're not horses. Well, you're right. They're not horses in the lyric. The actual lyric in the Young Thug rap is, hustlers don't stop. They keep going. And so the guy got the tattoo.

Let's do it. Here we go. Your first quote is from a financial specialist giving his careful analysis of the economy this week. This is bonkers. Everything went bonkers this week after President Trump couldn't seem to make up his mind about what? The tariffs. The tariffs. That's right.

God knows how much time and money went into it and pain. And he posted a picture and it drew dozens of comments from other Young Thug fans. And they're all saying, what do you mean? And they were all like, what do you mean? He's not saying horses? Everybody thought he was saying horses. Did he have to weigh in? When he's saying hustlers. Yeah, he did weigh in. This is true.

Young Thug himself weighed in. And this is what he said. He made a promise to enunciate better.

He can retroactively validate the tattoo. I love it. This does make me feel better about my tattoo, which says, dance like no one's horses.

Shane, a mountain village in Italy has started to draw tourists and even new residents after deciding to, like, lead with the fact that their town is absolutely overrun with what? Dandruff. No. No.

Well, we always knew they crap in the woods. Now they can just crap on Main Street. Bears! Bears! Yes, bears. If you've ever enjoyed gorgeous scenery in a rustic village but said, I wish it were more terrifying, we know where you should plan your next vacation. You should visit Paterano Sulgizio, which translates to, Mamma Mia, look behind you.

For years, people have been afraid of the bears around there, but now they're embracing it. Goodbye, bear traps. Hello, tourist traps.

They're up in the Apennine Mountains, up in the north of the country, near the Alps. What the town did is they bear-proofed it so the bears can't get into the garbage cans and stuff. And this new ecological focus is like a bear reserve has increased tourism tenfold. It's a big turnaround for a town that was home to 5,000 people back in 1920, but now has a permanent population of just 390. Oh, wait.

Wait a minute. Now it's $3.89 and a half.

This is great long-range planning. This year, you're the town with all the bears. Ten years from now, you'll be the town with the best ghost tours.

This week, the president continued his economic strategy of chaos and capriciousness with short breaks for insider trading. The markets cratered, recovered, and then they cratered again. The Dow Jones went in directions we didn't know it could. It went up, it went down, it went left, then it went directly at you.

Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can see us most weeks here at the Studio Baker Theater in Chicago or on the road. We'll be in Portland, Maine, June 26th and 27th, and at Tanglewood in Western Massachusetts on August 28th.

Tickets and info are at nprpresents.org. Hi, everyone. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, this is Lori Riccio from Providence, Rhode Island. Hey, Lori Riccio from Providence. Hi, Peter. I love Providence. It's an Italian town going way back. Are you like one of those long-term Providence Italian families?

Westerly Rhode Island and Providence are four miles apart. You could walk from one to the other.

Well, welcome to the show, Lori. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly into the limericks, you'll be a winner. You ready to play? Yep. Here is your first limerick.

Oh, I can't, I don't know. Big striped cats might be a bit of a clue.

When officials came to seize a Nevada man's unauthorized big cat collection, the man claimed that all seven of his tigers were service animals. He was arrested. The tigers were taken to an animal sanctuary, which is kind of a shame because I would have loved first to see him try to get on a plane with seven tigers, each of them wearing an enormous, don't pet me, I'm working vest.

This is true.

He claimed that his seven grown tigers helped him with his PTSD, which I assume stands for Petting Tiger Stress Disorder. LAUGHTER

The tariffs so far have been terrible for financial traders, consumers, farmers, basically everybody except people who make graphs. Great era for graphs. Were you guys freaking out all week?

Tramp stamps!

Tramp stamps are the lower back tattoos that in the 90s were associated with promiscuity and in the 2000s were associated with laser removal. But now, according to some of the nation's top tattoo artists, lower back tattoos are making a comeback. Of course, tattoo artists have always loved tramp stamps because it's so hard for you to see whether they made a mistake.

Obviously, things are different with the younger generation. For one thing, nowadays, they don't always have to be a butterfly. And these tattoos don't have to be slutty. My tramp stamp says, true love waits.

Are they getting scary skull tramps?

Exactly right. According to new research, running a marathon can deplete the part of your brain in charge of motor skills and emotional regulation for up to two months after the race. But hey, you get a medal. So basically, during the race, as your body depletes its stored energy, it starts eating your brain fats after it's gotten rid of your pasta fats. Come on, body.

My love handles are right there.

Now it's time for our final game, lightning fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

It is. So that means Shane. It feels good to win. So that means, Shane, you are in second place, right? So the clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, the Supreme Court said that the White House had no obligation to rehire workers who were laid off by blank. Donald Trump? Or Doge? Doge, yeah.

I understand.

On Tuesday, the acting commissioner of the blank announced plans to leave the agency. I mean, name all of them. I don't know.

This week, it was the IRS. As part of a prisoner exchange, ballet dancer Ksenia Karolina was released from detention in blank. Russia. Right. On Thursday, the lineup for this year's blank film festival was announced.

Yep. This week, police escorted a woman off her flight after she refused to blank. Share her Diet Coke. So close. Pay for the Pringles, she ordered. On Tuesday, Mattel announced that LeBron James would become the first male athlete to become a blank doll. A Ken doll. Right. On Thursday, comedy institution Blank announced a British spinoff. Oh, SML.

Yes, this week a man in Montreal whose car was parked legally still got a ticket because the city blanked overnight. Froze. No, turned the parking space into a bus stop.

What?

Cruise, he parked, perfectly legal space, then Cruise came out, converted that street parking into a bus stop overnight, and minutes after completing the job, they gave the man a ticket for being parked at a bus stop. Even worse, even worse, they converted his car into a bus, and now there's a guy in his backseat FaceTiming without headphones on. I don't know.

You keep your retirement account in like a half-filled-out frequent customer card for Starbucks. That's your investment.

I don't feel bad about the tariffs anymore.

So, arbitrarily, why don't I pick Rachel to go next?

You're very welcome. I don't know why you're thanking me, but here we go. Rachel, you're up next. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, the House passed the GOP's blank plan.

Fishing plan. No, their budget plan. This week, federal judges temporarily halted the deportation of several men from blank.

Right, NCAA. While speaking to a panel in California, Secretary of Education Linda McMahon repeatedly referred to AI as blank. Good. No, she referred to it as A1. Good. Saucy. On Tuesday, a list of the world's best airports were released and blank of them were located in the U.S. Most. No, none.

This week, a rugby game in France was delayed after the person who was supposed to parachute into the match holding the game ball blanked. I got scared. No, got stuck on the stadium roof. The man was gliding down gracefully when the parachute got caught in the ceiling of the stadium overhang, leaving him dangling in front of thousands of fans... Holding the ball, they needed to start the game.

Reports say that Trump decided to reverse himself on the tariffs after he saw people on Fox News saying the tariffs were really bad for the markets. He gets all his ideas from TV. That's why he insisted Don Jr. and Eric get separate bedrooms after he watched The White Lotus.

Oh, no. They're like, just drop it.

Oh, I did bad. Well, let's find out, Bill, how did Rachel do in our quiz? One right.

So how many then does Peter Gross need to win this thing? Five to win. All right, here we go. Peter, this is for the game. In a reversal to his typical stance, Blank urged people to get the measles vaccine this week. Oh, RFK Jr. On Tuesday, a federal judge said the administration's decision to limit the AP's access to Trump violated the Blank. The First Amendment. Yeah, the Constitution.

This week, rescue workers are still searching for survivors after a nightclub's roof collapsed in blank. Oh, a Dominican problem. Exactly right. On Wednesday, it was ruled that Newsmax had defamed Dominion voting systems when they said the blank was rigged.

Right. After ending a career of over 20 years, it was revealed that a judge in Brazil's real name was José de Reis and not blank like he had always claimed. Um... Maria de Reis. No, it was not Edward Albert Lancelot Dodd Canterbury Caterham Wickfield. According to a new study, heavy blanking increases risk of cognitive decline. It can't be heavy petting. No. Heavy drinking. Heavy drinking.

This week, a plumber in Indiana who wasn't paid after unclogging the pipes at a local restaurant blanked. Clogged the pipes intentionally. He did. He went back and re-clogged the pipes. It was an ingenious way to get paid, and it worked. But it made for the weirdest job listing of all time. Wanted you and all your hairiest friends to come shower in a restaurant's sink.

He wins. Congratulations. Yay. Well done.

Well, in just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict, now that we have the dire wolf, what will science bring back next? But first, let me tell you that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Aircraft Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord, Philip Koticka, Reza Limerick, Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman.

Our tour manager is Shana Donald. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Norboss, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Blythe Robertson and Monica Hickey. Peter Gwynn is our emotional support producer. Emma Choi is our vibe curator. Our jolly good fellow is Hannah Anderson.

Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilock. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth. Now, panel, what will science bring back next? Shane O'Neill. The extremely frivolous wolf. Rachel Koster. Your hairline.

Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Shane O'Neill, Rachel Koster, and Peter Gross. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago, Illinois, and all of you for listening wherever you may be. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week from Durham, North Carolina. This is NPR.

Good for him. The tariffs remain, prices will go up, and many Americans are stockpiling certain goods already. Among them, this is all true, European brands of cat food, seaweed. Ew!

Frisky. Sheba.

Mittens will tell you what. A lot. All right, Jen. Your next quote is from a scientist in the news this week.

He was responding to the announcement that geneticists have brought back a long extinct type of what?

Yes, the dire wolf is back. If you've never seen a dire wolf, just picture a wolf, but it's much bigger and never should have been brought back from extinction. They claim, they claim to have brought this extinct prehistoric animal, the dire wolf, back from extinction. It's news that has many Americans asking, can we shoot it? Right.

Here's the funny thing. Many animals went extinct around 12,000 years ago, which is when the dire wolf apparently went extinct, because we humans ate them, which is not the case with the dire wolf. What happened with the dire wolf, so many other predators went extinct because we ate their food.

Basically, the last major mass extinction happened because of some human being going, are you going to finish that?

Exactly. You have to say, well, why did they choose a dire wolf when there are really cool animals they could bring back, like the 12-foot-tall giant sloth or the huge carnivorous, and these are very real, terror birds.

Scientists are cowards. I know, but they brought back the dire wolf because of Game of Thrones, which featured dire wolves rather prominently, made them famous. Guys, that show also had dragons in it. What are we thinking?

The one buff guy? I mean, I'm not sure, but I do not believe Jason Momoa is extinct yet.

Okay. All right, Jen. Your last quote is from the New York Post. They're not looking for love. They're looking to file. The Post was writing about a new survey that suggests one in three singles have used a dating app to find someone to help them do what? Someone to file an accountant? Yes! They're looking for someone to help with their taxes on the dating apps.

Young people are flocking to the apps seeking not love, but the opposite of love, an accountant. And if you happen to be an accountant or tax expert and your hinge date just showed up with a shoebox full of receipts, she may not want you for your body. Ooh, you look so taxi.

Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much. We have such a useful show for you today because we are going to be talking to an absolute rock star of the economics world, Austin Goolsbee. Now, he last appeared on our show to explain tariffs back in 2018 and compared them at the time to unclogging your kitchen sink with an explosive.

This information, the survey was from the dating app Hilly, which asked more than 2,000 users if they would look for a date who could help with their taxes. A third of them said yes. Also, another third, I guess not the same third, said they find people who do their own taxes sexier. than people who hire an accountant, right? It's a little bit of a contradiction.

So if you're on a date this weekend, the right thing to say is, well, I do my own taxes, of course, and I'd be happy to do yours, but you're too beautiful to need that.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. I know that bad boys have always had an appeal to women. But you're telling me that a bad boy is someone who does his own taxes and might not have all the receipts?

Yes.

I'm listening.

Right now, panel, it's time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Shane, a new study should be encouraging to all the single folks out there. Well, being married, we all know, does enhance your happiness and well-being. It turns out you can get the same boost from what? Sherbert.

I'm guessing you do, Sherbert.

Yes, exactly right.

Researchers in Britain just found that the psychological benefit of owning a dog or cat is basically the same as what you get from marriage. And of course, pets would be way better than marriage if you didn't have to pick up your dog's poop. Or, I guess, if you did have to pick up your husband's.

Coming up, it's a collectible Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. Hey, it's Peter Sagal with a quick plug for a recent bonus episode. A former contestant fesses up to cheating. I got scared. I got nervous about looking foolish on national radio. So we gave him a Bluff the Listener do-over.

Now, I don't know enough to tell you if that was accurate, but immediately after that, he was put in charge of the Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago. So, we are going to wait for him to come on with an appropriate metaphor for this situation. But in the meantime, we want to hear from you. The number to call is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant.

I had no real idea. Wow. Really? To hear it, sign up for NPR+. You get other perks, too, like sponsor-free listening and discounts at the NPR shop. Just head over to plus.npr.org.

Thank you, Bill. Thank you. Thank you so much. Right now it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air or check out the pinned post on our Instagram page at WaitWaitNPR. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Rachel from Maple Grove, Minnesota. Maple Grove, that's a suburb of the Twin Cities, right?

Yeah, and what do you do there?

HR technology. Yeah, it's like...

I see. So it's like, it's the best part of human resources because you're not dealing with any humans.

You just get to do the resources. So that's the best part. I get it. Okay. You work in R. Well, welcome to the show, Rachel. You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Rachel's topic? Collect them all. Who doesn't love a collection? Star Wars figurines, stamps, the still beating hearts of those you've vanquished.

Our panelists are going to tell you about a new collectible out there, one we hadn't heard of before. Pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win our prize, the voice of your choice on your voicemail. Ready to play?

Okay, first let's hear from Shane O'Neill.

Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

The kids in a town in Japan... are collecting trading cards with the middle-aged men of the town on them. Your next collectible chronicle comes from Rachel Koster.

Larry Anderson of Denver, Colorado. All right. Here we go.

Bill, how did Josh Gad do in our quiz? Well, how can you get a bigger winner? Congratulations, Josh.

from NPR and WBEZ Chicago. This is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Josh Gondelman, Rachel Koster, and Nagin Farsad. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. My voice is so smooth you think it just got Botox. I'm Bill Curtis. And here is your host at the Studebaker Theatre of the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. Thank you.

Since the 70s, I have much flair. No barber put me in their chair. It has been 50 years since I've faced any shears. Now I celebrate 10-foot-long...

Here is your next limerick. Though they seem like a pine-flavored treat, leave your Christmas trees out in the street. If you value your life, put away fork and knife, because your tree is too toxic to eat.

You've punned full circle.

When my texting tool rings, I just bawl. So I'll go to this big lecture hall. There, I'll conquer my fear. Hold it up to my ear. I take classes in making a... All?

Bill, how did David do in our quiz? David's now the king of beret. He won them all, three in a row. Congratulations. Yay. This is the greatest day of my life.

Nagin and Rachel each have two. Josh has three.

Five right, ten more points. Subtle to 12 puts you in the lead. All right.

Very good for a rookie. Four right, eight more points. The total of ten is still trailing by two. All right.

Bill, did Josh do well enough to win? Well, he got five right, ten more points. You put all his points together, he has 13, which is a win.

Well, if any of that happens, we're going to ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

All right, here is your next quote. A number of license plates were coated with some kind of translucent goo.

After this job is over, I am off to Bolivia to photograph an endangered tree lizard.

Two right, one freebie. She's a winner. Congratulations, Caroline. Thank you so much.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Rachel Koster, Josh Gondelman, and Nagin Farsad. And here again is your host, at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you.

Lauren got two out of three, and that is a win, Lauren.

And I have to say...

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Roy Blunt Jr., Faith Saley, and Shantira Jackson. And here again is your host at the Stu DeMaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois. Thank you. Peter Stego.

Half uneaten. Don't throw that away. Leave it out. It stays firm and okay. Consumers will clamor for our new banana. Unpeeled. It can last a whole year.

My survival tale's totally truth-based. Food was minty with hints of vermouth taste. Since I'm not a noob, I consumed the whole tube. When I drank melted snow and ate...

Once my tummy was bloated and so hurt. Now I'm hot and can go out with no shirt. Thanks to coconut cultures, my body's sculpture, and I've paid 40 bucks for the...

Bill, how did Mariah do in our quiz? Perfect. Score, three straight. There you are. Well done, Mariah. Thank you so much.

Shantira and Faith each have two. Roy has four.

Five right, ten more points, total of 12. She's in the lead. All right, well done.

Bill, how did Shantira do in our quiz? Four right, eight more points, total of ten. Faith still leads.

Four to tie, five to win.

Bill, did Roy do well enough to win? We bow down in Roy's presence. Seven right, 14 more points, 18 total.

Oh, and if any of that happens, we're going to ask you about it here on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

From NPR at WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I've got the voice of an angel and the body of a hot angel. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, the Roy Peter Sago.

Bill, how did Rebecca do in our quiz? Well, there was a young lady from Nantucket. Oh, my goodness. But she did great.

Bye-bye, Rebecca. Thank you.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Faith Seeley, Shantira Jackson, and Roy Blunt Jr. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

And then... No, no.

Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Adam Burke, Adam Felber, and McGee Farzad. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studebaker Theatre, each and every one of them, and thanks to all of you, each and every one of you, wherever you might be. I'm Peter Sagan. We'll see you next week at Carnegie Hall.

Irene Chan of San Francisco, California. All right. All right, Irene.

What, you looking for the stupid guy here?

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Josh Gondelman, Nagin Farsad, and Tig Notaro. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

It's such an old-fashioned term, but a beautiful term. Groceries. It says, a bag with different things in it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Sailors, beware. Resist the overwhelming urge to follow my gorgeous voice. Stay away from me, sailors. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago. Hello, my Peter Sagal.

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She got them all right. Well done. Thank you.

From NPR at WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Nagin Farsad, Josh Gundelman, and Tig Notaro. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

Where were you on that one, Peter?

No. No. Thank goodness. You're safe from robot replacement right now. For the moment. All right.

That's why Kramer looked different in season seven. I know, yeah.

Well, they both may not have won the Nobel Prize, but they certainly both won this contest. Thank you so much.

Where did you get that name?

Heather Clark of Austin, Texas. Yeah. All right. Hometown, man. Hometown.

It's an underrated song.

Well, you know, that makes sense. That makes sense, though, that you're like a penis dipping in boiling water.

From NPR at WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in the Fine Arts Building in downtown Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sago.

Are you going to feature something as delightful as going to Pittsburgh to talk to that city's most beloved native son, Super Bowl winning coach Bill Cowher? I think not.

Yeah, I mean, so, so, you know, I said when I came back here was if I can just make three years, I can go back to my 20th high school class reunion as a head coach, my hometown team. And ironically enough, that third year we lost in the championship game to the San Diego Chargers.

And we had the reunion, and it was on a boat on the side, the Gateway Clipper, and I just thought, okay, my wife says, you know, we're not going back there. She goes, we're not going back there because you're going to sit there and just be with all your buddies. And I go, no, no, no, we'll just stop there and we'll say hi. Right. Right.

So we got on the boat and we started talking, and then the boat took off. So just to set the scene. This was like a three-hour cruise. I'm like, oh, man. You are stuck in a boat with your high school classmates. And my wife was getting madder and madder as the night's going on.

And then the guys were getting drunker and drunker and telling me all the things I did wrong in the San Diego Charter Band.

Oh, you think you're too good for us to get us tickets. So everyone wanted tickets. Like, oh, now you can't talk to us anymore. So I got off the boat. My wife wasn't talking to me and made half the people there mad. And it was just kind of to put the tipping on that year because we lost the championship game to a team we should have beat. So it was kind of like that was kind of my career. Yeah.

I know what they're about. Oh, yeah, they're the worst.

Right. And so is there a secret to that? Yes. Just ask me a question. I know what I want to say, and your question is irrelevant. Right. All right. We'll try it. We'll try it. I'm going to ask you. Because I want to control the narrative.

Certainly.

You know, one of the greatest things about New York City is the diversity. One of the greatest things about living in Pittsburgh is the upbringing. And when you combine the two of them, you recognize that your core values that you've learned came from the city of Pittsburgh.

But yet it was able to allow you to sit there and go to this great city of diversity in New York City with multitudes of people, but it's that grounding that you had in Pittsburgh

No, but you asked me one more question, I'm going to open up your head. Yeah!

I did think it was going to be me. I said, this is awkward.

Josh Smith of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

I'd say C. Yeah, that's right.

Bill, how did Coach Gower do in our quiz? It's what the Chargers score should have been. Three right for a win!

She told us that after decades of being a working actor, becoming a huge star on Broadway was a little disorienting.

We are so delighted to talk to you, and we have asked you here to play a game we're calling... Hey, Goldsberry, let's look for some buried gold.

Brian Holland of Southampton, Pennsylvania.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm the old acquaintance that won't ever be forgot. Bill Curtis. And here's your host at the Studebaker Theater in the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. Thank you.

And in Wisconsin, your dairy is exceptional qualifies as dirty talk. Of course it is.

Heather Rayne of Racine, Wisconsin. Good job.

Oh my God.

And when that doesn't work, I call up my friends Jack Daniels and Jack Ambien.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater and the Fine Arts Building in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

Try to beat this. For example, 2025. I bet you won't be sending us a Nobel Prize winner as fun as economist Claudia Golden, who appeared with us last March.

Now, Peter, how did you... I don't know that there's a statute of limitations on congratulations on your Nobel Prize.

Peter started by asking about her experience as a contestant on the show.

Howdy, sir. Howdy. Hi.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Peter Gross, Hari Kondabolu, and Joyelle Nicole Johnson. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

Sparkling wine will relieve my crammed brain, and my heart will relax its damned strain. My pulse feels no trouble while I sip these bubbles. My doctor says, drink more... Wine?

When I go to the beach or the chip shop, with gross toenails, I can't make the quips stop. But lazy day fashion is my greatest passion. I spent 600 bucks on some... Flip-flops.

All right. Here is your last limerick. As he sits by the aisle, he's not shedding. And his bark, you won't need to be dreading. There won't be any doo-doo when you exchange I do's. I'll be watching your dog at your... Wedding.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm the voice so peanut buttery it comes in chunky and smooth. I'm Bill Curtis. And here's your host at the Studebaker Theatre at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

Joyelle and Hari each have three. Peter has two.

Bill, how did Peter do in our quiz? Very well. Six right, 12 more points. 14 is his total. All right.

There you are. You didn't even need it. You didn't even need it.

How dare you? Well, we've got to read them anyway. Three right, six more points. Nine means Joyelle is the champ. Well done. Oh, perfect.

Hey, if any of that happens, we're going to ask you about it here on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

All right, here, Chris, is your last quote. It's the only block of time that's deep focus time.

Bill, how did Chris do in our quiz? His answer on number three was so much better than ours. Let's declare him a winner with three and O. There you are.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is, wait, wait, don't tell me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Hari Kondabolu, Peter Gross, and Joyelle Nicole Judson. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Segal. Thank you so much, Bill. Thank you.

Two out of three gives you bragging rights for your panel. Congratulations, Roy. You won. Yay.

Thanks, Roy.

From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Tom Bodette, Helen Hong, and Paula Poundstone. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill.

Let's do it. Here is your first quote. List five things you did last week.

Cheating men can make first dates feel bitter. I'll make sure that he's ready to quit her. Because my bright shiny flakes help point out his mistake. When I hug him, he covered in... Bander? Dander? No.

Cheating men can make first dates feel bitter. I'll make sure that he's ready to quit her. Does my bright shiny flakes help point out his mistake? When I hug him, he's covered in... Glitter.

Yeah, exactly. All right, here is your next limerick. Trending fashion serves more than hot looks. We think literacy's a strong hook. But no, there's no need to turn pages and read. We take pictures of models with... Books.

All right, here's your last limerick. A podiatrist I'd love to meet, or my gimmick is hard to repeat. My toe's immense pain is the Internet's gain as I drop heavy things on my... Is it feet?

Yeah, I Bill, how did Corbin do on our quiz? Perfect score at 3-0, Kansas strong. Well done.

Paula has two. Tom and Helen each have three.

Bill, how did Paula do in our quiz? She got six more points. 12 right gives her a total of 14. Doing well. Here we go.

Bill, how did Helen do in our quiz? Five right, ten more points. Total of 13 is just one less than Paula.

Bill, did Tom do well enough to win? Well, he got five right. Ten more points, but his total of 13 is one short of Paula. Paula, there you go.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm back, bitches. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.

Well, depending on how that happens, we're going to ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

The name is Bond, and he did very well. Three in a row. Congratulations, Adam. Well done. Cheers.

I can't reveal much, but let's just say this Brazilian butt lift didn't happen on its own.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Helen Hong, Tom Beaudet, and Paula Poundstone. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in downtown Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.