This week, we're live in Boston with special guest Jim Rice and panelists Maz Jobrani, Joyelle Nicole Johnson, and Adam FelberLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy
Chapter 1: What is 'Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me' about?
From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Do I smell clam chowder? No, it's just my rich and creamy voice. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Box Center Wang Theater in Boston, Massachusetts, Peter Stegall.
Thank you, Bill. Thank you, Boston. It's great to be back. We have a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be joined by baseball legend Jim Rice. Yes, 50 years after he helped lead the Boston Red Sox to the World Series as a rookie, he now offers TV commentary on the current team.
So just to be fair, we're going to have the Red Sox starting infield to join us to critique his performance after he plays Not My Job. But first, it is your turn to swing for the fences. Give us a call to play our games. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. How are you around? Wait, wait, don't tell me.
Hi, my name's Jennifer. I'm in Kansas City, Missouri.
Kansas City, we love it there. What do you do there?
I was the assistant director at a public library.
Yes, public librarians. The true badasses that we need. That's a great thing to do. You guys are under a lot of pressure, but I've never met a librarian who wilted under that kind of assault.
No, we've been pretty strong. It's all right.
Well, welcome to the show, Jennifer. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First, she's a comedian headlining at The Lounge at the DC Improv July 11th to 13th, a proud Boston College graduate. It's Joelle Nicole Johnson.
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Chapter 2: How did Jim Rice become a baseball legend?
That was a traveler responding to the news that airlines, after threatening it for years, are finally going to begin offering what cost-saving seating innovation next year.
Oh, um, like the seats won't recline?
Oh, it's worse than that. Seats? Nobody said anything about sitting.
Okay, so they're standing?
Standing seats and airlines are coming, yes. Finally, a solution for that problem of spilling hot coffee in your lap on an airplane. No more laps. At first, this will be offered as an ultra-low-budget option for people on short flights across Europe, and a lot of people, you know, won't mind standing for a little while to save $100 or more.
And, of course, no airplane flight has ever taken longer than it was supposed to, so no worries.
So usually they get upset when you stand. They go, sit. So now they're going to be like, stand. Don't sit.
Stand.
Stand. And then they police your angle. Sir, that's 90 degrees. No, 45. 45, sir.
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Chapter 3: What humorous stories were shared during the episode?
It's like a roller coaster, except it lasts an hour, and if it does a thrilling loop-de-loop, you're in trouble. The idea is you have sort of a seat back and a seat belt, but instead of sitting down, you lean back and put some of your weight on a, quote, half-standing saddle-style perch. It's sort of like a padded bicycle seat.
Wow, you know, but people think it can't get worse than that, but they haven't experimented with stacking yet. That's true.
My people would beg to disagree.
Wow. So they'll be called standing seats for taller people, crouching seats, in case of a rough landing, domino seats.
I wonder if you stood on one foot if they'd give you a discount.
You're like, yeah, I'm gonna be taking up less space. All right, here is your next quote. Am I hot or not? The Washington Post reports that people are asking that age-old question to what new technology?
AI, chat GPT.
Yes, chat GPT. Apparently, people want the unvarnished truth about how they look. unaffected by things like kindness or empathy, so they are asking AI to tell them. These are all true. ChatGPT told one user who asked that they needed tooth whitening, another that their eyebrows were thinning, and another that they were, quote, a five, but could go to a seven with the help of makeup and fillers.
Jeez.
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Chapter 4: What are common romantic gesture mishaps?
Oh. Oh.
Yeah.
Now, further research, these Clemson guys apparently are on it, they showed that not all dips were equal. High acidity dips like salsa held less bacteria than low acidity dips like cheese. Good to know. Safest of all was the sour cream and bleach dip. Yeah, that one's very sanitary.
You know, I... I mean, the Trump administration is cutting money from cancer research, but they're funding chip... Oh, no, RFK Jr.
asked for this specifically, because you know he's been doing it his whole life.
I am not going near a bowl that he dipped in, even single dip. So they tested all these dips. They dipped a chip in, and they assumed that dips don't lie. Dips don't lie.
I wonder, Clemson should ask ChatGPT if this is a good study. And see what ChatGPT says. You need to lose weight. Lay off the dip anyway.
Bill, how did Jennifer do in our quiz?
She did great. Got to give her three in a row.
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Chapter 5: How does the panel feel about double dipping?
But also this generation now, they just do everything on their phone. Like they don't even go grocery shopping. It's Instacart. Everything's on there. So to your point, like they haven't had to do anything. Just they press a button and someone does it for them.
So, yeah, so you're speaking about the kids these days.
Kids these days? Am I that old?
I'm that old. Have you found any of these kids on your lawn, and do you wish them to leave, Mons?
Every day, Peter, every day.
You know, but it has existed as a problem for a long time. I'm sure I'm not the only person here who's had a roommate that could have used a course in showering 101. True. And you know what? Chat GPT can't tell you if you smell.
Right now, these are offered as extracurricular classes, not for credit, but pretty soon they'll be granting degrees, right? Imagine all the proud parents watching their kids graduate with a summa cum laude in laundry studies.
I've taught my kids to do laundry, and I have them fold, I have them do everything, and I always say to them, I go, guys, it's not that I can't do it. I want you to learn how to do it. But the truth is, I really don't want to do it.
Exactly. And do you say that sitting in your armchair, flicking through the TV channels? All the time. It's very good for you.
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Chapter 6: What challenges do new college students face?
She flew 35 members of his family in from India and staged a party straight out of a Bollywood spectacular, a tent festooned with 5,000 marigolds, a 20-piece swing band, and made her grand entrance on an elephant, which is when things went wrong.
Bettina turned out to be an amateur mahout at best, and the elephant she'd rented was a rescued circus performer whose one trick turned out to be picking up performers with her trunk, which she promptly did as Betty attempted to dismount and then attempted to do the same to several other bridesmaids before fleeing with her trainer, knocking down two poles, causing the massive tent to collapse on the entire party.
Vikram, for his part, was philosophical. Quote, she didn't really stage an accurate Indian wedding party, but the way it ended in total disaster like that? For my family, that was right on point.
A trained elephant at a wedding does what it was trained to do and ruins the wedding. Your next Red Hot Mess comes from Joyelle Nicole Johnson.
Nothing says I love you like a bed covered in rose petals, diamond bracelets or potato chips. This week news broke worldwide about a husband named Johnny who tried to surprise his wife Rachel with a romantic gesture. He loves her and she loves chips.
So for her birthday, he took her to exotic Blackpool, Lancashire, and asked the hotel staff to cover the bed in 30 bags of assorted potato chips for his crisp, loving battle axe. He assumed they knew he meant to keep the chips in the bag.
However, a confused staffer who must have thought they had some type of fetish misunderstood the request and opened the bags of chips and poured them all over the bed. Upon entering the room, Rachel thought they were the victims of a cartoonish break-in. As she ate a few of the chips off the bed, he sheepishly explained his intention, and they got one of the best laughs of their relationship.
And Johnny learned a valuable lesson when making a request to never assume clarity, because when you assume, you make an ass out of you, me, and the hotel staff.
A romantic evening ends in an unexpected crunch on a bed of chips. Your last I love you snafu comes from Maz Jobrani.
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Chapter 7: What unexpected moments happened during the recording?
And when is the last time that you had to pay for your own drink in a bar?
Well, I don't drink, never have. I'm sort of like a Pepsi Coke guy.
When's the last time you had to pay for your own Pepsi? Probably today.
That's the NPR budget, sir.
Do you, do you, do you, I'm assuming you get, well, of course, you're also on TV helping to broadcast Red Sox games, so I'm assuming you get recognized a lot.
Yes, this is a very sports-minded city, regardless if you're playing baseball, football, but they know who you are.
We hear about Boston. I am one, a Boston Red Sox fan. The we can be a little abrasive. Does anybody ever give you grief or anything, or are you way beyond that?
No. When I first got here, being from the South, I was brought up that you speak to everyone as you're walking down the streets and things like that. And someone stopped me and said, we don't do that here. So, It was hard for me to make that adjustment, being a southern guy and, you know, being hospitable and things like that. We don't speak.
You came up here and you had manners and they're like, that's not what we do in Boston. That was it. So, Jim, you played in front of the Green Monster at Fenway. For people who don't know, that's this very high, close-in wall that makes left field in Fenway particularly hard to play. Did you just, like, enjoy yourself when opposing teams would go out there and watch them screw it up? Uh-huh.
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Chapter 8: What did Jim Rice say about playing at Fenway Park?
They were getting a single. Yeah.
So this would happen, right? I mean, it happens sometimes to this day that an opposing player will hit the ball high off the wall. That's a hard hit ball. They're like, I'm taking two, easy. And the next thing you know, you've got it in to second base before they're even rounding.
Well, we had a team here the other day. I guess they called themselves the Mets, I believe. I've heard of them. And there was a guy, Soto, making all this dough. And he hit one out. He stood there and he tried to style a little bit.
Yeah, he was admiring his shot. Thank you.
And it didn't work out pretty good.
No. It's a really high wall. Yeah, it is. It really is. You are in the Baseball Hall of Fame, a rare and extraordinary achievement. You were elected in your last year of eligibility, 15th year.
I got in my last year? Yeah.
And what were you doing when you got the call?
Well, do I have to say it?
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