Joyelle Nicole Johnson
Appearances
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WWDTM: Eric Idle, Bridget Everett + Jeff Hiller, and more!
Yeah. Well, it's interesting because I grew up in Atlanta, so Jonan, which is also, that's how, I guess that's the place they call it, the dozens.
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WWDTM: Eric Idle, Bridget Everett + Jeff Hiller, and more!
So when we're going back and forth, that's what we call Jonan.
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WWDTM: Eric Idle, Bridget Everett + Jeff Hiller, and more!
I'm sure Kendrick Lamar will tell us.
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WWDTM: Eric Idle, Bridget Everett + Jeff Hiller, and more!
You've never been in a Bass Pro shop?
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WWDTM: Eric Idle, Bridget Everett + Jeff Hiller, and more!
Yes, I love a Bass Pro Shop. Exactly.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
It's cinema at its finest, said the boss about the boss. Many consider Bruce Springsteen to be a genius who can do no wrong. So why is his favorite movie, The Boss, a 2015 comedy flop starring Melissa McCarthy? It's the best movie ever made, he explained in his memoir. He calls it the Nebraska of movies.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Just a reminder, Nebraska is a sparse and moody Springsteen album critics often consider as his best work. Meanwhile, The Boss is a movie critics described as hotel TV. But public disinterest and critical disdain be damned, Springsteen demands a sequel. So this week he announced he is writing, directing, and producing The Boss 2, double The Boss.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
I finally have something that will rise to the perfect standard I set with Born in the USA. It's The Boss 2, oh, oh, oh.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
I sure haven't. And I'm from New Jersey. Really?
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
They don't look at you like that, Paula. They do not.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
AI terrifies me, but I actually like that. You really like that? Mm-hmm. You think you'd like an AI grandma? I don't know. My grandma was mean. I think she should be a little mean. Like, Daisy should be like, sit down somewhere. Yeah.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Ooh, she had an evil cat, and this is why I hate cats, and the cat would, like, hide under the table and scratch us, all the kids, when we'd walk past, but he never messed with Grandma because he knew, and she knew he was scratching us, but she didn't care. Wow.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Yeah. Wow. I didn't realize until right now that I should talk to my therapist about that. Yeah.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
No, I didn't do any of the excursions on the last wedding I went to. I don't like excursions.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
I don't want to say his name. Sadly, you must. Trump.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
and started dating an Italian dude afterwards. I don't know.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Does that mean, like, Naked and Afraid is going to have HR?
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
I think I'm going to do this for my stepfather because he's impossible to get gifts for.
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WWDTM: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson
Yeah. He's also a jerk. But he loves being a jerk. And one year I got him Omaha Steaks, like a package from Omaha Steaks. And he was like, don't ever do that again. You don't know how to pick meat. And I was like, I didn't pick the meat. Yeah. You didn't go to the stockyard and say, that cow looks tasty. What are you talking about? So now I just give him Budweiser.
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WWDTM: Amber Maykut
LAUGHTER I would just like to say that I don't relate to this because my boyfriend is a bougie egg buyer. So we've been paying like $80. Oh, really? Yes. Have you guys seen the Vital Farms eggs? Okay, a couple people know what I'm talking about. You must not have kids either. So those are at $11 now.
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WWDTM: Amber Maykut
Okay, so my friend was on SNL and she took me there to go see an episode, right? I had to go to the bathroom and she comes in and she was like, you have to leave the bathroom because Billy Crystal needs to use the bathroom. And I was like, what? And he opens the door and my pants were half down and he was like, I'm sorry, I gotta pee. So Billy Crystal saw me with my pants down.
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WWDTM: Amber Maykut
But I'm going to tell you, as a regrettable heterosexual, it is very sexy when men wear chunky sweaters. Really?
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WWDTM: Amber Maykut
That's crazy. to you for the Jones one. Thank you. All right.
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WWDTM: Amber Maykut
It's a delicacy in our home state, Peter, a knuckle sandwich. When you get knocked out for thinking a billionaire cared about the price of eggs.
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WWDTM: Amber Maykut
Well, he's not special because I did the same thing to prepare for the role of me in the pandemic.
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WWDTM: Amber Maykut
And instead of hiring an ugly chick, they was like Charlize Theron.
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WWDTM: Amber Maykut
I have a terrible bladder. Shout out to the terrible bladder community. And yeah, okay. I feel seen. And I'm just, I hate how long movies are now, right? Like there should be intermissions because like I had to pee right before Defying Gravity and Wicked. Like, holding your pee during that song is very terrible.
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WWDTM: Amber Maykut
Yeah. You know who I think should be banned? What? People with open-toed shoes on the airplane.
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WWDTM: Amber Maykut
Elaine Smalls of Decatur, Georgia, is royalty in her social circles. She's been adept in her life at an odd talent, returning anything, an ability that has earned her the moniker the take-back queen. Now you can hire Elaine for anything from returning an old laptop that conked out past its warranty to furniture your child destroyed. She doesn't even need a receipt.
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WWDTM: Amber Maykut
Final sale isn't in her vocabulary. Her most popular service is her send-back special. For $20 and the price of an Uber, she will come to the restaurant you're eating at and send the food back that you do not like. She'll even teach you how to do it yourself. Baby steps. First, you learn to send back a dish because you didn't order it.
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WWDTM: Amber Maykut
After just a couple of weeks, you'll be comfortable sending back dishes based on vibes alone. None of your friends will go to dinner with you anymore, but at least you're getting what you want. Her disclaimer, I only do this for large corporations. Mom and pop stores are safe from my cordial indignation.
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WWDTM: Amber Maykut
When asked if she feels bad about taking advantage of corporations, her response, eat the rich. They can afford it.