Bill Simmons

They'll do that sometimes.

We all can't bat a hundred.

How did I come up with that?

David Haynes.

A hundred.

Here's his pitch.

You love your new child, but don't you miss the nightlife of the city cozying up to the bar for the 1 PM games.

Maybe you loved attending a matinee before you had a little one.

Well, with the baby weight, you don't have to give up the former pleasures of your social life.

You can leave your child at home, enjoy hours for your child without any worry of them getting into the pantry, calling over stairs, or really getting beyond the one to two foot radius where you left them.

The baby weight is a weighted diaper that strengthens the will and the physique of your child.

They won't go far, but you can, um,

I thought, obviously, not a great half-baked idea, but I really admired how fucking crazy it is.

Wait, you're at the bar?

Hold on.

Yeah, I think it's almost like a weight harness.

I would say that was not even a half-baked idea.

It bummed out Wilds.

No, that wouldn't make it through our sensors.

That's not ethical AI.