Bob Bordone

And I'm imagining that at least some people listening to this will say, this sounds very hokey.

And does he really mean going to the chairs?

And the answer is, yes, I do mean that.

Because there is something about the physicality of it that forces you to give voice to something that is true and real in you.

And the chair work is very helpful to set up what an opening might be into a hard conversation.

Meaning that all of the chairs

are real and authentic and okay.

They're worthy of getting some voice.

So as someone who teaches in a law school, right, it's all about advocacy.

And you would find students who would be very good at advocating on behalf of a client would be incredibly poor at advocating on behalf of themself.

And so separating out the side that maybe has a little bit of feeling it's selfish, but actually giving it a legitimate voice, help them when they get to the table to

to be able to say, you know, I'm worried about this, or I realize I may be wrong about this, or it might be upsetting.

And also, it's important and deserves to be heard.

Because one of the things around avoidance, right, is we often do avoidance in service of

preserving the relationship or not disrupting.

And we do maybe preserve the relationship for the time being of the person across the table, except we go home and there's still the side of us that is not feeling good about it.

And the person we're not preserving the relationship with is that side that we just get to have a sleepless night.

And so that's really the kind of idea behind the chair work.

As a lawyer, I am happy to take any side.

Eric, can I make a suggestion?