Brad Stulberg

But if you try to do that every day and you chase that feeling in sports, you end up injured.

In the business world, you end up burnt out.

So patience means stopping one rep short today so that you give yourself a chance of building an inertia and building a rhythm that you can pick up tomorrow.

Lots of people struggle to see their situation clearly because you become so close to it.

And what ends up happening is for those that are watching on video is you fuse with your situation.

So this is the situation you're in, this is you, and there's space between, but sometimes you fuse.

And when you fuse, it's very hard to see clearly.

And if you can't see where you are clearly, then whatever actions you take, whatever habits you try to develop aren't actually gonna help because you're working on the wrong thing.

You're not starting where you are.

So acceptance is really about being able to objectively and clearly see your starting point.

Now, how do you do this if I just said how easy it is to fuse, especially in meaningful emotional situations?

Researchers call this self-distancing.

And what self-distancing means is creating some space between the thing you're experiencing and your wiser self.

A couple of ways to do this.

One way that I'd love is to pretend that a close friend is in the exact same situation as you and really visualize that friend going through what you're going through and then give advice to that friend.

And then, of course, you actually have to take that advice yourself.

Another way to do this, especially if you're making an important decision that feels really tough, is imagine yourself 30 years down the road looking back on current you.

What is 30 years from you now going to be proud of?

And then that's the thing that you should do.

A third way to do this is through some sort of mindfulness meditation or contemplative practice where your focus is on the breath, you have a thought or feeling, you recognize it, you come back to the breath.