Brad Watts
speaker
159 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Nov 2024
last heard Nov 2024
Brad Watts’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Oh, okay. That sucks. So he went from a traditional job to like Instacart because his bosses raided the company 401k? That is horrible. I hope they are in prison.
You know, it sure sounds like it, and I can't say that I blame the guy. He's shouldering a crazy burden right now.
Well, first of all, I am so sorry that you and your brother had to say goodbye to your mom. Cancer man, it sucks. It sounds like your brother was really there for her and for you in a big way during that period, and that, that's wonderful, what a gift. But I'm sure it was very painful, and I truly hope you guys are holding up okay. Man, your brother is really going through it.
He's had some objectively tough breaks. He's come up against some very real adversity. Having a child with special needs, I don't think anybody would argue that that's, it's gotta be one of the hardest things you can do as a parent, is taking care of a child, and somebody with special needs just adds to that amazing workload.
His company goes under because of the embezzlement where people stole his retirement fund, so that's massively destabilizing financially, psychologically. It also sounds like he's responded to that adversity in ways that are making it harder to bounce back from in ways that are creating new challenges. So I actually have a lot of compassion for him. This is a lot for anybody to go through.
I also hear you when you say, look, I know he's in charge of his own life, but he seems like he's on a sinking ship that keeps shooing away life preservers and he's not the only one on the boat. I feel you. And that's a really tough position to be in because how he handles his life, that affects his son. It affects his ex-wife. It obviously is affecting you.
So on one hand, yes, you do ultimately have to let him figure this out on his own, in his own time, if and when he's ready. On the other hand, because his decisions and mental health are affecting you and other people in his life, it's absolutely fair and appropriate to speak up and to try to help him. So the answer to your question is more art than science, more process than solution.
I think you need to keep building lots of trust and rapport with your brother if you aren't already. I think you need to make him feel understood by you, empathized with, not in a performative way, and it sounds to me like you do have some genuine empathy for him, even when he drives you a little nuts, and it's important that he feels that.
And I think you need to invite him to talk about where he is these days, not just the circumstances of his life, but the feelings that come with it and his overall worldview. Because what you're up against with your brother, oh, it's a lot of things. You're right. He's probably depressed, which might be the result of losing your mom. It might even predate your mom.
He's grieving your mom, which is probably contributing to the depression, or maybe the depression is a response to the feelings that the grief is bringing up. It also sounds like their relationship was complicated. You kind of mentioned enmeshment. There's a whole other layer. to your brother.
which I think there's probably so much more to know about that. I'm sure there's an aspect of that that's self-protection. There's also probably a lot of fear. There's anger. There's cynicism.
He might also be so wounded by what happened with those executives, and understandably so, that he's just not even about risking that happening again, which, okay, super unlikely to happen again, but more just going back to the scene of the crime, so to speak, being vulnerable to people and systems that have the potential to hurt you again. I get it.
Exactly. She's really up against his nihilism here.
Right, that sounds a lot like, oh man, what is the word for that?
Right, oh, therapy.
That's the word. Yeah, sorry, it's been a while. It's been almost seven minutes since we've mentioned it.
Totally agree. Ultimately, you're already onto the answer here, which is you can't make him take back power over his life, but you can try to help him begin a process that might lead to more hope, more empowerment. Therapy is a big piece of that. Relationships are a big piece of that. Some high quality self-help could be a part of it. Exposing your brother to books and talks and
influences, not influencers, but influences that are healthy and positive, and just being there for him generally and encouraging him to open up to you.
There might be some shortcuts here, like making your brother realize he's taken a massive risk by not having health insurance and he needs to get some, or pushing away his ex by self-isolating, or putting you in a tough position by staying in the apartment when he needs to move his stuff out of your garage.
I'm not saying you should look for ways to be petty or create unnecessary stress in the guy's life, but sometimes we need to be shocked out of our stupor a little bit, galvanized into making a choice. One choice can lead to another choice, which can lead to more choices and taking action in that way. Sometimes that brings us back into a real relationship with life.
Showing 81–100 of 159 · page 5 of 8
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