Brett Cooper

Strucking up a conversation with people you don't know has become something of a generational divide, taboo even for younger folk.

If even small talk and passing conversations are dying out, what are the odds of building something deeper with someone?

If people go out with friends, they stick to their friends.

They don't mingle at bars and clubs.

If you're hooking up with somebody, it is rarely spontaneous.

It is someone they met online, it's been planned out to meet somewhere in advance.

And this is the most important part.

When the social priority is on not causing other people discomfort over actually building connections with people, is there any surprise connections aren't being made?

Now that last point is so astute, and we could make this whole thing just about dating and male-female relationships, you know, the fears of men and Me Too, but our entire society, our entire culture outside of this dating world has placed such an emphasis, obviously we see this in politics every single day, but it's placed such an emphasis on not triggering anyone, on holding space,

and creating safe spaces and protecting our peace, whatever bullshit lines people are coming up with and posting about.

Like, no wonder a little normal awkwardness, discomfort brushing shoulders at a bar or a party is sending people straight to therapy.

And that is not an exaggeration.

Now, in reply to that comment somebody else said on Reddit, I actually think this is a huge point.

Plus, more than discomfort, I think the internet provides connection, or at least a sense of it.

Shit, I'm talking to you.

right now.

But it's also way easier, way less pressure, no stakes, more interesting, no social anxiety, which increases actual social anxiety.

The content is curtailed to me and it doesn't necessarily need structure to make sense.

Plus small talk is non-existent, which to this commenter, they say, has always been a huge waste of energy.

Now I would disagree with that.