Brittany Broski
Appearances
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
I asked him to pull up one of those, like, infographic charts on the wall. I'm like, could you just point to where, on my body, where it would be? Okay, I get it now. I get it now. Thank you. And so he comes in. He goes, that's option one. Option two, the surgeon is going to come in in a little bit. And like most surgeons do, he's going to tell you you need surgery.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
I would hear him out because it's a lot worse than I initially thought. And I'm like, okay. The surgeon comes in and he's immediately like, we need to do this tomorrow. He said, it is super inflamed. There is a blockage and I cannot put you on a plane in good conscience. He goes, I understand. You know, I know this is scary.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
You probably want to do this in America, but I really recommend you do it here. I'm like, okay. So I'm on the phone with my dad back in the States. My mom is there with me. I've talked to both the doctor, the surgeon, and I call my American doctor and I'm like, here's the status. Here's what they're telling me. What do you recommend?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Because I'm so ripped and muscled that it just snapped. It's never that. It's, she had her gallbladder out. What the fuck? Goofy ass surgery is that? I'm humiliated. Unserious ass surgery, bro. Except it was very serious. It was actually kind of like really super scary. Okay, let's talk about it, I guess. So, um, you may be wondering, I got here. Rewind the clock two weeks. I'm in Rome, Italy.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Because ultimately, you know, you listen to everyone's advice, but you have to weigh it all. And it's your decision ultimately. And that's what Dr. Carlos said. He was like, it's your choice. It's your body. You do what you think is best. I called my American doctor and he goes, you really need to do it there. And I go, okay, that's the decision, I guess.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
And so the next morning, early, like 7.30 a.m., the surgeon and Dr. Carlo come in and they're like, well, what do you think? What have you decided? And I go, let's do it. Let's do it here. Girl, I was, that was probably, what, 7.38? I was under anesthesia by 12.45. It was immediate.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
And it's such a blessing because as I was running around doing all the tests, like the CT scan and whatever, the hospital was packed. It was packed. Not an open seat in the waiting room. And so what was... It just feels... This whole experience felt so like... Okay, it was at the tail end of my vacation. It was... at a quiet day in the hospital and they were able to operate immediately.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Like all of these things lined up. I feel so fortunate and so blessed that it was just like, this is happening now. It's happening now. They take me in, they do it laparoscopically. So right now I have about five wounds on my stomach where laparoscopic surgery, by the way, is a marvel of modern medicine. I mean, I am one to marvel in awe of human innovation always. And this is one of those things.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
It's literally robot surgery. They did surgery on a grape. They did surgery on Brittany Broski. They did robot surgery on Brittany Broski. It was crazy. I was watching these videos, not on me, because, hey, I'm going to vomit. I was watching these animated videos of what a laparoscopic gallbladder removal surgery looks like. It might as well have been magic. It looked like magic.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
It is amazing what they can do. By the way, this was only like first properly characterized and described in like 1934. So this has been around less than 100 years that this was even a problem point that they know how to fix. So whatever. They do the surgery. Everything goes fine. They do anesthesia via IV. Hey, what the fuck? There's nothing scarier. There's nothing scarier.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
One minute I'm awake, next minute, dead. Dead in the fucking water. Girl, the next thing I know, I woke up. And it was immediate. My teeth are... I don't know what it is. I started looking up all these symptoms of, you know, coming out of anesthesia and it can last for weeks after you go under general anesthesia where all these side effects can happen. And mine was teeth chattering.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
They put a breathing tube down my throat, which is so scary. And I was coughing. Because I imagined them, like, ripping it out of my throat really fast. That's how it felt. Like, my fucking head lolled back when they pulled it down. I was coughing so bad. And then I started to cry just because, of course I did. And one of the sweet Italian nurses, old woman, she goes, don't cry. Don't cry.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
And I was like, yeah, lady, I didn't want to. I'm humiliated. I'm trying. She goes, don't cry, not cry. And I was like, yeah, you're so right. And so I bossed up, stopped crying, but I was shivering so bad and I wasn't cold. I don't know what it was. And so they put a space blanket on me under my hospital blanket and then they wheeled me back into my room and my mom got it on video.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
I immediately in my hospital bed, I said, ciao, in front of all these lovely Italian people, ciao. making fun of their language. What the fuck? Me off the perk 30 anesthesia. And so we, they will be back in and Dr. Carlo is in the corner and he's watching me and he's like, okay, all good. And I give him a thumbs up and then he comes over and he goes, you made the absolute right decision.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
And I was kind of out of it still, but my mom caught it. And he goes, if this would have been 24 hours later, would have been a much different story. And I was kind of still out of it. And I was like, okay, good. Like that relief came over me of like, that needed to happen. I'm glad that I made that decision. Well, later that day, one of the surgeons, his name was Dr. Papa Luigi. Shout out.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Or wait, Luigi Papa. Dr. Luigi Papa. Dr. Papa comes in and he was like, oh girl, gutted, rotted, like truly necrosis. Like it was so much worse than we thought. They pulled it out and they told me that truly, like if I would have gotten on that plane, if I would have been like, just pump me full of antibiotics, put me on the plane, my gallbladder probably would have burst midair.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Hey, that's terrifying. It would have ruptured, which is so scary because then bile goes everywhere and then you're dealing with sepsis and infection. It was just horrible. So thank God I decided to have it done there. And then I was in the hospital for two more days after that because they were administering me antibiotics via the IV. I had this drainage tube out of my gut. What the fuck?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
By the way, I literally got back last night. So this is hot off the motherfucking press for y'all. Okay, so I'm on a family vacation. All goes well, we start in Paris and we take the Orient Express from Paris to Verona, Italy. One of the most magical experiences ever. It is an overnight train and you literally wake up in the Swiss Alps. Like it is just, it's psychotic.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Then one of the nurses came in and I go, pee-pee. She goes, and holds her finger up to me, leaves the room, comes back with a bedpan, and I'm not joking, a doggy piss pad. Put the piss pad on the bedpan, told me to lift my butt up, and I had peed on the pad.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Every time after that, I'd have to use the bathroom. I had to get up out of the hospital bed with these fresh stitches and take my little drainage sack and hold it. It was so embarrassing. And it's also just frustrating, like not being mobile, you know, like not being able to move how you usually do. It was just like, I was getting so frustrated.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
And so they eventually removed my tube, my sack tube. And I didn't feel any pain after the surgery, which is such a miracle. It was just antibiotics they were giving me and I couldn't eat normal. They fed me like bread and the most bland chicken soup you've ever, ever one could imagine. Just to make sure, they did that just to make sure that, you know, things were going smoothly.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
I wasn't nauseous. It wasn't putting too much strain on that newly formed, you know, track that my digestive system has to go through now. It's now double hard on my liver, which kind of sucks because no alcohol for a month, no fatty foods probably ever because my body just can't handle it. So it's, yeah, it's stuff like that that... You know, you think it won't happen to you until it does.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
And it's very scary. And I'm so thankful that I had my mom there. And the doctors were amazing. There was a nurse named Ilaria. Shout out, Ilaria. She used to live in Ireland. That's my queen. All the nurses were so kind and so attentive. And the room was private. I had a balcony. I mean, it was just... When socialized medicine works.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
So they discharged us from the hospital on Wednesday morning, and I wasn't cleared to fly until Sunday. So I literally got back yesterday, last night at like 8 p.m., and I had a post-op appointment today where they did my... blood work and whatever, and I'm fine. Everything is fine. It's just I'm exhausted, obviously, from jet lag and from having a surgery.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Whippin' that bitch like a rental. I'm draggin' my nuts, got my dick out the dirt.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
I have to give myself these weird, which I guess is normal after any surgery, these weird anti-blood coagulant shots, and they're self-administered, and I hate doing it. But I don't want blood clots, bro. So I have to do that. But honestly, guys, to make a long fucking story short, I am minus one gallbladder plus one Harry Styles cover release. Okay.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
So with that, let's go ahead and transition to talking about the music. Thank you so much. This episode is sponsored by Hungry Root. When it comes to grocery shopping and meal planning, I've got a problem. I've got a super restrictive diet that makes grocery shopping miserable. But that all changed thanks to Hungry Root. It's the easiest way to eat healthy.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
It's something that was a real bonding experience for me and my whole family. It was so neat and... It's such a unique preservation that they've done of these train cars. I mean, from the 20s and 30s, they've restored them to their original artisan craftsmanship. And the original, it's like the grandsons of the guys who made the cars or the ones who serviced them. It's spectacular, okay?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
This episode is sponsored by Tinder. Guys, let's talk about what makes someone instantly more attractive. Hobbies, passions, interests. Did you know that 80% of women find having a hobby sexy? Like having a passion for something. Imagine that! And there's a scale of hot hobbies, by the way. Woodworking? Hot. Beekeeping? Hot.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
But if your whole personality is crypto, the judges are going to need to see a little bit more variation from you, okay? Show us something else before you show us your portfolio. But here's what's fascinating. Pottery and plant parents are having a moment. Something about someone who can nurture things and create with their hands. And don't forget, your bio is prime real estate.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Instead of just listing hobbies, make them conversation starters. Looking for someone to try my experimental pasta. Hits a little different than I like cooking. And when you match, your hobbies are literally the perfect conversation starter. Trust me, talking about something you're passionate about is way more interesting than, hey.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Tinder is perfect for showing off who you are through your interests. It's not just about looks. It's about finding someone who vibes with your hobby. Explore all the possibilities for yourself. Tinder. It starts with a swipe. Download the app today. Okay, so if you missed it, I had gone ahead and released a sort of cover of Adore You by Harry Styles, reimagined with the Broski special on it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Okay. This has been in the works, and by this I mean a much larger project, has been in the works for... I'm not joking, five years. It's been, damn, it's been five years from when this process started to finding the sound, honing the sound, and perfecting, not perfecting, but I guess mastering the craft of not blowing your voice out when you sing, how to get into the mindset of writing and
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
co-producing and being an active participant in this creative process because of course because it's it's my project it's me but it's such a creative collaboration every step of the way and it's so much fucking fun it's so much fun like I talk a lot of fucking bullshit on this podcast about everything
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
But like one thing that I hope rings true is my passion for the arts and my passion for music and how everything and every fiber of my being is informed by that passion for music. It's something I feel in my soul. It's something that's in the very bones of people that get it. You know what I mean? And...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
From everything I've talked about of being raised in the church and all of my inspirations and the sonic universe that I exist in in my mind that I wanted to, you know, breathe life into this project, it's happened and it's here and it's so exciting, truly. It's so overwhelmingly exciting. And also nerve wracking, right?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Not to nerd out, but like, wow. Dining cars, bar cars, it was amazing, okay? We get off the train in Verona. Walk around for a little bit. Shout out Verona, Italy, which has the, and I might be wrong, second largest Roman amphitheater ever found besides the Colosseum, okay? Amphitheater meaning two theaters. Amphi meaning two, right? Like amphibian.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Because you share something that intimate with an audience and you're subjecting yourself to criticism and commentary. And I'm not worried about that. I have my fair share of opinions on music and I urge people to listen and develop their own opinions. That's what it's there for. But at the same time, it's there for me. You know what I mean?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
I talk about this all the time of art is for the artist as much as it is for an audience. for the voyeur as much as the creator. And this to me was the process of even creating this Harry Styles cover. And of course it was a Harry Styles cover. It had to be a Harry Styles cover.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Harry Styles and One Direction is quite genuinely one of the pillars of who I am, why I am the way I am, my friendships, the connections I've made, both professional and personal, who I am on a personal social level. Treat People With Kindness was my first ever tattoo. Like there are so many reasons why this had to be a Harry Styles song.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
And not only that, but it was also to show as a proof of concept, look what is going on up here. You know what I mean? Like, the lyrics to Adore You are devastating if you think about it like that. Just like the lyrics to You Are My Sunshine are devastating if you think about it like that. And I knew that I wanted to flip it and make it this, you know... whimsical, ethereal rock song. And...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
We did it and shout out Scott Hoying. Holy fuck. Because he completely rearranged it with me and we just brought a new life to it. And it's so exciting because here's this song that was top of the charts. Everyone knows it. Everyone knows the words and it's totally different. And it has a different meaning now too. That is what it makes my penis rock hard.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
So this whole process, plus the visuals, oh my fucking God, Paige, Sarah, my creative director, Elizabeth Youngling, my love, all of the people who worked on this project with me, The best is yet to come. Truly the best is yet to come. And this was just the fucking smorgasbord, the aperitivo of what's to come. It had to be a cover. It had to be Harry. And I just knew that.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
And I'm so happy with the release. I'm so shocked. by the outpouring of love that y'all have... I mean, it's... I am blown away. I did not think it was going to be like that. I thought I was going to release it and people were going to do the, another fucking TikToker making me... Yeah, you think I haven't gone through that fucking conversation with myself? You bitch!
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
I fully understand the optics on this, okay? And I saw someone comment and I damn near cried. Someone commented... under a video where someone said, not everyone needs to make music. Someone commented, why? And it's such a good question! You would not look at someone who's trying to paint or someone who's trying to learn how to fucking hopscotch and say, no, there's too many. We don't need you.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
That's not how art works. It's not how life works. Like truly anyone, anyone can buy a fucking microphone or use their iPhone microphone and make a song. Dochi is a living example of that. Dochi is such an inspiration. It's like that I knew that was going to be a part of the conversation because of who I am and my background and how I came up on the internet. Completely fine.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
So, second largest Roman amphitheater ever found. Really, really neat. They do, like, opera concerts there now. We walked around the city in literally an hour and a half. This episode is going to have some severe Roman Empire undertones, by the way. It's fresh on the mind. I also started reading Song of Achilles. Okay, I'll get back to my gallbladder in a second.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
But when that's used as a weapon as to why someone shouldn't make art or someone shouldn't express themselves through art, what are you even talking about? It sounds stupid as fuck because it's not hurting you. If it annoys you, okay, don't listen to it. Sorry. It's not for you. You know what I mean? Art isn't for everyone. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Guys! Guess who they let back in the United Mother-Tucking States of America? Me!
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Started reading the Song of Achilles. What the fuck? We'll get there, okay? But the Roman Empire weaves its way into this story, so mind you. We get out in Verona, really cute town, old as fuck. Every city in Italy is old as fuck. They're like, and this building was built, when can I remember? 1200 AD. What the fuck are you talking about? That's not real. made up year.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
So then we take a commuter train from Verona to Rome. We have a beautiful time in Rome. It rains the whole time, but it honestly was super aesthetic, super ambient, okay? do a walking tour of Colosseum, of the Roman Forum, of all these magnificent places. I've been to Rome before, probably 10 years ago.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
This was, to see it through like adult eyes and as an appreciator of history and someone who sees history as not only a direct informer of how we behave today, but of like what could have been. Oh, it was just, it was psychotic. Me and my brother were geeking, tweaking out. We do all that, whatever. It's the final day. We're supposed to leave for the airport at five, okay?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
And fixate. It all kind of started back when I read The Secret History years ago because it's based on a group of classic students. And it's based around Bacchus and the Bacchanal. Bacchanal. where it's basically like a big pleasure orgy in many senses of the word, and everything spirals out of control from there. And it's just very interesting because it's all in... All of these authors, right?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
When you talk about someone like a Donna Tartt or a Pierce Brown or even, you know, Madeline... Who wrote Song of Achilles? Madeline Miller. These people are clearly... fanatics of the classics of Greek mythology and are well-researched. And Pierce Brown, I mean, he loves the Roman Empire almost to a degree that is, you know, you're a freaking nerd! You're a nerd!
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
But it makes for great world building. And I really, really admire that, where you are writing a fiction about or in this case, a sort of retelling of a very popular story from the perspective of an academic. So interesting. I love it. I think it's a great way to resell these stories to a new generation and to keep them alive. Because, damn, there's a reason they're still around.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
You know what I mean? There's a reason people just cannot get enough. The gods were tea. The gods were tea. That's probably why. They were fucking. Capital F. Fucking their brothers, their sisters, their mothers, their everyone. They were drinking wine and fucking and afterwards they would have an olive. Yeah, I'm interested. You're gonna look at me and tell me you're not interested?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
That you wouldn't partake? Anyway. Yeah, that is, it's been my latest thing, okay? And in that vein, because I was just in Rome for way longer than originally intended, I had some time to sort of marinate in it, okay? I was in it. I was all up in there. My God. I mean, I could just talk for hours of all the stuff that I learned.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
This is on Saturday morning. We're supposed to leave 5 a.m. Well, around 1 a.m., my tummy starts to rumble, okay? And not only does my tummy start to rumble, my mouth starts to water. And I said, oh, fuck. I know what this is. So I'm nauseous. I go and puke in the bathroom. And it does not stop.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
We did this tour of the Colosseum and of, like I said, the Roman Forum, the Circus Maximus, all of these places that are still standing today. I'd been to the Pantheon before. I'd been to these places, but to see it now and marvel at it for different reasons, you know, you, I remember 10 years ago, I was 18. My initial sort of wow was that it's still there.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Right, that's the initial reaction is, holy shit, this is from, the Colosseum was finished in 80 AD, 8-0 AD, and it's still around. That is something in and of itself to marvel at. The next thing is that they were able to build it, and not only able to build it, but with better materials than we use today.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
You can see where they've done repairs on the Colosseum to either make it look more presentable, make it look whole,
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Or just to repair damage that tourists have done And even the building materials that they use and their repairs do not hold up They don't hold up against weather the way that the Roman materials still do That shit makes me just And so if you've ever wondered why the Colosseum looks like that It's because people recycled the marble
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
when they were building new buildings, no one gave a fuck about the Coliseum after the empire fell and they used the marble, they repurposed it. And so they would go up there and just destroy it. And they'd take down the marble pieces and there are holes all in it because inside of any of the arches or the columns or the seating was iron that they would use.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
And they would, it would be a sort of indent or a groove in the flat, marble, and they would pour hot iron into it, and it would go down into a little hole, and it would bind it. And so when it cooled and solidified, everything was held together. It's amazing. It's
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
People were not impressed with these buildings anymore, or rather, these buildings were negative reminders of what life under an empire was or under a certain ruler. Also, the reason it was called the Colosseum is because there was a giant statue of Nero right outside of it that they called Colosso, Colosseo, okay? And then the building right next to it became referred to as the Colosseum.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Now, that statue was taken down, I'm sure melted down, and again repurposed. But why does the Coliseum look like that? That is not its original design. The way that it slants off to the side, the other half of it is missing. It used to be one giant building, similar to how the amphitheater in Verona looks. You can put all that up here.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
And it's incredible to think that entire structure used to be covered in the whitest, purest marble polished, shown gold statues, bronze statues in each of the openings above the seats. There were clear and still are clear markings above each of the entryways that corresponded to your ticket, where you would sit, where your entrance was. And of course, it was stratified.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
The emperor had his box and then all of the nobles or
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
or well-to-do sat in sort of the 100 section the 200 section was uh you know servant men and then the higher up is slaves women and children so it's just incredible that this shit still stands and what they were able to do and it makes me i did a lot of reflecting on the roman empire while i was in rome because what else is there to do and i came to this conclusion that's kind of like
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
And usually when I have food poisoning, I have given it to myself by eating, I don't know, rice or pasta that's been left out or, you know, eating at some unsavory places. Because I, at the core of my being, want to be Anthony Bourdain. And so I get real adventurous with food. My tummy can't handle it, girl. My tummy's like, no, no, no, no! And then I spew from both ends.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
You know, when I think of the Roman Empire, I think what a tragic waste of potential. That's what I think. I think it was a waste of what could have been the closest thing we could have had to a utopia. But if you said when could the go, yes, but would. When you, when, when. Shut up!
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
I think about the Roman Empire as what could have been a beautiful society, but instead was the very definition of empire. It was a horrible tragedy and it was succumb or die. And when you, I mean, look at this image of what the Roman Empire covered at one point in time. Do you see this? All of the red is the Roman Empire. This goes all the way up
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
from the UK, from what is that, Wales, all the way down to the Nile, all the way down. I mean, it's incredible. It is incredible what they were able to do, but it's so devastating because to what end, right? To what end? where you make the emperor a god, where all of these people are forced to succumb and become Roman citizens and these Roman structures pop up, for what?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Like when you lose beauty and individual culture and customs and dress and religion and all of the things that make humanity human, when it all just becomes homogenized, What a loss.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Even if you're providing them with benefits like aqueducts, bathhouses, entertainment, food, all of these things, you know, you get all the benefits of the innovation of the Roman Empire, but they're built with slavery. And that's not, it's just, I could write a paper on it of like the epic tragedy of the Roman Empire. And I failed to see how it was ever going to succeed, right?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
so much to think about. Anyway, I think that that mixed with, when you think about even then, Roman mythology is stolen directly from Greek mythology, and they just changed the names and warped the stories and made it fit. I mean, what's new about that? Taking a religion or a
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
ideology and warping it to fit your political propaganda okay it's not new we haven't not heard of that but it's just it's like to what end that's my question to what end anyway to be able to go to where the circus maximus used to be like the chariot racing and where the the marble uh uh, seating was.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
And in the Colosseum, you can actually see they have a little mock-up in one section where marble remains of what, uh, you know, if you imagine that all the way around the amphitheater, what it used to look like. There is a huge spider in the corner of the room, and I'm trying really hard not to actually piss my pants right now.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Oh, I gotta let y'all know one last thing that I've really been addicted to lately. It's charcuterie nachos. Oh my god, I can't get enough of them motherfuckers. That motherfucking thing! Low-fat salt and vinegar chips. Pepperoni. Now, this is my dairy-free, low-fat, you know, bullshit, because I can't eat like an old human!
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
All that to say, I know what food poisoning feels like. I know what it sounds like in my body. I'm well acquainted with it. This was different, okay? I start puking and it does not stop. And immediately after puking, this intense pain in my upper abdomen starts. And it's something I have never experienced in my life.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Salt and vinegar, baked Lay's, salami, turkey breast, turkey, like deli meat. banana peppers, olives, crushed up salted pistachios, and to finish it all off, fresh dill and a drizzle of hot honey. Go ahead and make that in your kitchen tonight and tell me that's not the most delicious bullshit you've ever had in your fucking life. I was blown away, okay? It's my latest obsession.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Now, I'm gonna see y'all next week. Because I feel like I talked for about 35 minutes about my gallbladder and I feel real sorry about that, to be honest. Thank you for listening to the music. If you want some merch, go to broski.shop. Get you a muumuu, get you a t-shirt. Probably more to come soon, by the way. So keep your eyes peeled on that.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
I love and appreciate y'all more than you will ever know, okay? You listen to me ramble about the Roman Empire. You listen to me ramble about Frederick Atkinson. And you listened to me ramble about Call of Duty masked men, okay? And by the way, don't even get me fucking started on Pedro Pascal and this Last of Us campaign that he's doing. I don't want to talk about it. Don't ask me about it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
I don't want to talk about it. It's too much. New Royal Court episode's coming out very soon. Keep your eyes peeled. There's some fun ones coming up. I will see y'all next week. Goodbye.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
I mean, it felt... When they say knives in your stomach, when they say writhing in pain... There is not a better descriptor. There's not a more apt description than what that experience was. Nothing would relieve it. I couldn't lay flat. I couldn't use my abdominal muscles to get up. It was horrible. I couldn't lay on my side.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
After a while of getting up and down, up and down, the nausea wouldn't stop. My mom, bless her, she stayed behind. Because I was like, I'm not making it on that plane, girl. So my dad, brother, and sister went home. And my mom stayed behind and got me some Italian version of gas ex. I was popping that. I think it's called geffer. They call that shit geffer. I was huffing the geffer.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Oh, my God. So much has happened in the last, what, not even 14 days. I guess it has been 14 days. Oh, my sweet Lord. Y'all need to strap in for what I'm about to lay on you, okay? Have mercy. Okay, let's start with you're looking at a woman that is one less organ than now I was two weeks ago. Okay, what the fuck? You always hear, oh, she had her gallbladder out.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
I'm a geffer queen, okay? I took it like you drink it, you mix it with water and it helped with the nausea, but the pain would not go away. I was doing Tylenol. Thank God I always traveled with Tylenol and ibuprofen.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
It was the only thing that could like, it still hurt, but I could like drift off to sleep a little bit until the Tylenol would wear off and then I would be brought back to the suffering reality of my abdominal pain. After a while where I was like, this is not normal. It's been 24 hours. It's not going away. The pain then spread to under my right rib cage and it got hard to breathe.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
And that's when I started to freak the fuck out. I don't smoke weed. I don't smoke cigarettes. I don't do anything that involves my lungs because there is nothing scarier to me. Like very genuinely, nothing is scarier than not being able to breathe, not being able to take a full breath, not being able to meter your breathing. And so when I couldn't do that, I was like, Absolutely fucking not.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
I called my doctor back in America and luckily with the time difference, they were up and the hospital answered and they were like, here's what I recommend. He said, describe exactly where the pain is. I was like, you know, it's right under my right rib cage and it's piercing, stabbing pain. I cannot lay. I cannot do anything. I can't even take a full breath.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
He goes, okay, that sounds like your gallbladder. And I said, what the hell is that? Of course, I've heard of a gallbladder before, but not in my body. Not on me. He was like, sounds like either your gallbladder or your pancreas. Because I had WebMD'd myself down a hole and I had diagnosed myself as having pancreatic cancer, of course. And so he was like, sounds like your gallbladder.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
I said, you sure, doc? It sounds like pancreatic cancer to me. He said, no, it's probably your gallbladder. And he was like, okay, here's what I would recommend. You need to go to an English-speaking hospital nearby, and you really need to get this checked out. And I was like, hospital? Bro, what the fuck? This can't wait until I'm back in the States. Fast forward. No, it could not wait.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
So what I actually was about to experience was acute cholecystitis. Acute cholecystitis. an inflammation of the gallbladder, typically caused by a gallstone blocking the cystic duct. So here's what I've come to learn about gallbladders. I'm super versed in it now. Gallstones develop on their own and they can be unproblematic until they are.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
What happened in my gallbladder, so the gallbladder produces bile and bile sits in your stomach and helps digest the food that you eat. My gallbladder had been blocked. Okay. That's what was causing the sharp pain. And not only was there a blockage, it was perforated. The walls were super thick. It was inflamed. And necrosis had set in. Oh, okay. What the fuck are you talking about?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
All of that happened. We made the decision to go to the hospital because I was like, this pain, it is unimaginable. We went in. I described all my symptoms to the doctor, the Italian doctor. God bless. The name of the hospital I went to, and I'm about to say everyone by name because they were so fantastic. This hospital was fantastic. I mean, truly, how scary is it to be in a foreign country?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
You don't speak the language. And now you're being told you have to undergo a surgery. This hospital was so lovely to me. In the grand scheme of things, I was like go-time decision mode when it came time to, you know, have this conversation with the doctors. But like, Grant's gave me things. God, it was terrifying. But I wasn't really terrified in the moment. So I go into the doctor.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
And he's like, you know, what's wrong? We just went to the ER. And I was like, food poisoning. I gave myself food poisoning. You know, we had sushi. I had tuna. Like, it was raw. I don't know, whatever. He goes... What is wrong? And I was like, oh, food poisoning. He goes, no, no, no, no. Tell me what is wrong. And I said, okay. So you have a good point. I said, I have abdominal pain.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
I've been vomiting, but no diarrhea. Sorry to get super graphic. Do y'all care about me or not? No diarrhea. And he said, that's a telltale sign that it's not food poisoning. Because it would be evacuating the premises at all costs if it was food poisoning. This is actually going to be something completely different. And so he goes, okay, lay down and I'm going to do an abdominal exam.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
So I lay down off the Tylenol, off the PERC-30, Tylenol 500 milligram. And for the first time ever, I could lay flat because I was on so much Tylenol. I'm overstimulated. I'm overstimulated right now, by the way. There's a screech in my throat. I got scritches in my throat. The lawn guys are doing that out there. It's hot in here. My water's lukewarm. There's a lot going on.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
I feel really actually overstimulated as fuck right now. But I'm going to power through. And so he tells me to lay down and then he does an abdominal exam. And when he pushed on my gallbladder, oh my fucking God, I wanted to scream. And he goes, We're going to have you do an ultrasound. And I'm not joking. When we showed up to this hospital, no one was there. No one.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
She had her pancreatic removal surgery. It went great. Who the fuck is that ever about? Because you think it's not going to be you. You know what I mean? Oh, it's now about me. Gallbladder surgery? Goofy ass surgery. What the fuck? I couldn't even have a cool one? Oh, I tore my, I tore my nabiscous. I tore my... I tore my hibiscus muscle during bar method because I was going so hard.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
There was one other person in the waiting room, and it was an old guy with his wife. We were seen immediately. It was the doctor and then nurses who took all my vitals and did whatever. I was in an ultrasound within two hours, maybe an hour and a half. And she did the ultrasound, and sure enough, on the monitor, you can see little gallstones. Oh, okay.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
And so she goes, this looks like inflammation of the gallbladder. We're going to send you to have a CT scan. what the fuck, bitch? I've never been a sickly person, okay? I've never had to do the in and out of hospitals, doing this, doing all these scans and whatever. I've never had to do it. Thank God. I mean, I've been so lucky.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
And to me, that's always been like, you know, oh, you hit 55 and you start doing all that stuff. This was very scary. As like a 27-year-old relatively healthy person, like I really take care of myself, at least I try to. This was like, bitch, what the? So, Did the CT scan. And what? They don't tell you about a CT scan. It was all IV. It was all intravenous.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
They put this solvent or whatever through the IV. And she goes, bless her, because she spoke broken English. She was speaking Italian. She goes, going to be hot. And I said, oh, just like the temperature in the room? Okay, it's no worries. I can sweat. I sweat all the time. She puts that shit in my, oh my God. It was the weirdest feeling. So did the IV.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
puts me in the CT scan where it's over, you know, it's circling around you. When that shit, when it, the machine mixed with whatever the fuck was in my veins, it burned. It was hot. I literally, I felt like such a puss because she warned me going to be hot. I go, ow, ow, like a baby, right? And then from the fucking mic speaker in the room, she goes, are you all right? And I said, yeah.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Humiliating. But they do that, I guess, so it illuminates the veins and you can see the inflammation. I don't know. Regardless, got out of the CT scan and they were like, yeah, it's bad. They show all these images to the doctor. We wait around. They decide to admit me. And they start administering antibiotics. I'm thinking, oh, okay, it's just inflamed. Give me some antibiotics.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
I'll probably be here overnight. They'll release me tomorrow. We can leave the next day. Well, girl, later that night, the doctor comes in. The same one, God bless him, Dr. Carlo... Dr. Carlo Consani. By the way, this hospital was UPMC Salvatore Mundi International Hospital in Rome. Spectacular, fantastic care. And shout out Dr. Carlo because he, for real, was like...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
Tell me what is wrong, not you diagnosing yourself. You know, like I want to see it all laid out so I can properly diagnose. And he did. He came in and he was like, here's the deal. Gallbladder super inflamed. The walls are super thick. You have a blockage. Now we have two options. We can keep you here for four or five days. Five days. Just pup you full of antibiotics.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
88: Left My Gallbladder in Italy
And you can have the surgery when you're back in America. And I go, okay, hold on one second. The surgery? What do you mean? Like to remove the gallstone? He said, no, no, no. To remove your gallbladder. And I say, all right. Could you just go ahead and point one more time to where that is on my body? Because I'm not really understanding.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
I went through about three years of horrid depression. I was grieving the loss of my wife and children and dealing with the knowledge that they never existed. Holy shit. I was scared that I was going insane as I would cry myself to sleep hoping I would see her in my dreams. I never have. But sometimes I see my son, usually just a glimpse out of my peripheral vision.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
He's perpetually five years old and I can never hear what he says. Holy shit. Okay, this was a little addendum, a little postscript that the author added. I've had many private messages describing similar experiences and three posters stating such experiences are impossible. I'd say more research needs to be done on brain functions. Pre-med students, don't assume you know everything. Holy shit.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Okay, so... I know that this is a creepypasta, but let's talk about it because I have not had a dream to this extent of like, that is brutal. you know, to age years, to find the love of your life and to have children and build a life and then have it ripped away.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
That hasn't happened to me, but I know, and I know I've also seen accounts of other people experiencing this of being in love or being married and you wake up and it wasn't real. I know that a lot of women have dreams of having children. and looking at and holding their child in their dream or being pregnant in a dream and waking up and none of it was real and being in mourning the next day.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
And you can't explain what's wrong. You can't explain what's heavy on your soul or on your heart. It's just that there is an inconceivable loss that you are mourning and there's a grief of something that is not real. The human brain is fucking wild. I've had dreams where, you know, I've lived an alternate life or I've met someone that was very important to me.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
I've had dreams where... This actually happens a lot and I think I have a condition. I'll have dreams that someone I love has died and I'll call them the next morning in tears or I'll text them like, hey, I love you and I don't tell you enough and I'm sorry that I... That happens to me a lot. I also have dreams of my teeth falling out.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
All of these, I've read what people think that this might be, and there are theories that suggest it's just anxiety, which I know that I do have, and it is severely untreated. I know that the teeth falling out dream is about maybe feeling like you spoke too much, like you shared too much, or that you're lying. It could go either way. And then the death dreams, I don't fucking know.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
I think I just have a complex. But I have had dreams where I've met the love of my life and we have lived together beautifully and happily and I... And in the dream, you know what it feels like to touch their face and the nuances of how they speak and the color flecks in their eyes. And it's that weird thing of this is another repeat thing that happens in some of my dreams.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
And it's happened with this one in particular where they're saying something and I can't hear them. And I keep saying, what was that? What was that? And I can't understand what they're saying. Or they keep repeating it and they're getting frustrated at me because I can't understand them and I can't. And then I wake up. Okay, they're mad at me. They're not real.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
And I need to get my hearing checked. Oh, it's like you wake up in this weird, I honestly, that is the source material for a fucking book. that half dreamlike state of, it's almost a purgatory, but purgatory not with a negative connotation, unless it is. Usually it's a positive connotation of like trying to situate myself after a dream of waking up and where am I? Oh yeah, I know where I am.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
I mean, do you know how intense a skid mark has to be to be visible outside the pants? Crazy work. We're doing skiddies outside? Damn. Yeah, I used to talk to this one guy. I used to talk to this one guy. I don't know if I told y'all this, but he said that, I said, I don't know why we were talking about this. I said, do you wash your butt in the shower? And he said, no, I don't touch my butt.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
And oh yeah, I was dreaming. That halfway state, what is that called? Because I sometimes, I have a fascination with that being potentially a different realm of consciousness, which isn't that outlandish to think about being real. You know, it's not like conspiracy theorist shit. It's like, we know that the human brain is capable of creating alternate realities to cope.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Or like I was talking about last week with Streetcar Named Desire, like it's this, and also with 1984, Double Think, you know, all these, the human brain, is so complex and it is so hyper-intelligent that we are able to construct things to protect ourselves and to protect our feeble and fragile sanity. And if that involves going somewhere else, who's to say where that is?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
In a world that we've created, a world of pure imaginations. then so be it. You know, the human brain, whether or not we tell it to, will create that.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
And it's very interesting to think so many millennium or hundreds of years of doctors and scientists not having the means to accurately study all the neural pathways and synapses and all these connections that the brain can make and trauma responses and you know, created worlds and realities to protect something that was hurt.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
You know, when you are hurt, what a beautiful concept that your mind tries to fix it for you, you know, tries to make the pain go away. And I don't know if it can, not fully, not 100%, but it will do its best.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
And even tied to practices like, you know, Buddhism or things that denying yourself earthly pleasures or meditating to get to that higher version of yourself, higher version of self, where you're no longer in the physical. You're no longer in the physical realm. You are somewhere up here in the in-between. You're in a higher conscious. And that feels so fucking yogi bullshit.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
you know, white people with stringy hair and dreads. But that's not per se, that's a weird offset of people who have co-opted that practice and that culture and made it an aesthetic choice, you know, or a bragging right or a personality trait. I'm talking more so like the ancient practice of Buddhism or anything like that. You know, yoga is, it is proven that yoga
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
And stretching the body and holding the body in certain positions pushes you to that. It transcends you. So, oh, also I saw this TikTok. This girl was talking about that book, The Body Keeps the Score. And my friend Katie read this book too. I think we need to talk about it. Of women store trauma in their hips. Because of course they do. That's where life comes from.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Everyone came from a woman's hips. Everyone alive came from a woman's hips. Imagine how powerful that statement is, like how much trauma and pain and beauty and love is stored in a woman's hips and how mean we are to our hips, you know, when they are quite, quite honestly, one of the miracles of humanity. So. I don't know.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
We know that the body stores trauma and we know that the body and the mind protect us from the horribly infinite effects of trauma. And it's very interesting to think that it's only been recent history that doctors and scientists have had the means and the technology to to study it in a way that we can actually learn from it and put two and two together.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
You know, that we don't know what we don't know. And the more questions we ask and find answers to, it's just this exponential curve of questions that, you know, it's the same with the deep sea, where the more we find out, the fucking less we know. Everything that we thought was true, we find something that disproves it. And it's like, well, fuck. I think that's the point, right?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
We're not supposed to know. Marvel at the beauty. Marvel at the unknown. And realize how small and feeble you are. But that's... I wore in my own mind of this. Of like, that's sometimes not enough for me. And I like to talk to myself... we know. Hey, we know.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
When I start to freak out like that, I pull myself back to that simpler process of thinking of like, it doesn't matter. We're here to just enjoy it. You know, try to make it, try to minimize the suffering as much as you can and have a good time with the people you love. Right? That's what it's about. But at the same time, it's that, but also I think truly if in my lifetime I ever had
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
the privilege to see the Aurora Borealis in person. I mean this very honestly. I've talked about the Sistine Chapel ceiling. I've talked about neoclassical art. I've talked about prose, literature, some of the most impressive forms of just...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
By the way, we're breaking up. By the way, don't ever hit my line. Do you wash your butt in the shower? No, I don't. That's gay. Got it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
mind-bending, soul-shattering art that is, I think, the point of life, all of that just pales in comparison to something as magnificent, and I mean that in the most academic way, magnificent as the Aurora Borealis. Who the fuck made that? And hear me when I say this, because I don't say this often. If there was a god, look at it. You know what I mean?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
I find it hard to believe there is not a God when you look at something like the Aurora Borealis. What the fuck are we talking about? It is divine with a capital D. It is magnificent. It is awesome. Not in the sense of like, that's awesome. I mean, the dictionary definition, inspiring awe. It is awesome where I marvel.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
I would drop to my knees and probably start drooling and crying, like boo-hoo crying if I saw the Aurora Borealis. I'm about to be emotional thinking about it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
I just can't imagine something like that. Beauty for the sake of beauty. It's why I'm so like, what the fuck?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Oh, it's so hard when things like that just exist naturally for no rhyme or reason. And it comes and goes. And if you see it, you see it. And all of humanity knows, like, you saw the aurora. It's like a universal thing. And that's what makes things like climate change so much worse. It makes it even more acidic and sour. This is what the stars in the universe have gifted us.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
And this is what we do to the fucking planet. It's sick. It's sick. The Great Pacific Garbage Patch. It's sick. When this is what we do below and look above. Oh, it's just going to make me so emotional.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Okay. And I know who you voted for. Damn. Stinky ass, stringy, greasy hair, GameStop ass dude. I'm mad. I'm pissed off. I'm mad as fuck. This is the pickings! This is the pickings. I'm pissed off. A white guy feels super empowered when they reach a certain age like that. That's just, and there's a market for it, okay? There are plenty of young women and people who go for that.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Sorry about that. Sorry for crying at the awe-inspiring eccentricities and phenomena of the world. Sorry for marveling at what God hath made. What was that tweet that was like? When God calls his angels home, will turtles not be a part of that choir? What the fuck is that tweet? Will turtles? When God sings with his creations, will the turtle not be part of the choir? Here.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Okay, here's what I want to Google.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Does the aurora borealis occur? The aurora borealis or the northern lights occur when charged particles from the sun carried by the solar wind collide with gas. We're doing fucking science with Pretty Roski again.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
So whoever, you bitches in the comments who are like, um, astrology, astronomy major here. We're going to need, tap in. Tap in because I need you. Because I'm about to read this and the centrifugal force and the solar winds. What are we talking about, bro? Half of the shit I know about space comes from Interstellar and it comes from Red Rising, okay? I'm not working with much.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
I'm not working with much in the observable universe that I understand, okay? Very, very limited to sort of the dynamics of Dune. Dune, Star Wars, Star Trek, Red Rising. That's what I'm rocking with. So, by the way, God, I miss Red Rising. Have you guys read it yet?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
I am, okay. I don't care. Primarily near the poles due to the interaction with Earth's magnetic fields. Okay. These natural light shows are caused by magnetic storms that have been triggered by solar activity. Such as solar flares. Or coronal mass ejections. What? Ejected gas bubbles. Energetic charged particles from these events are carried from the sun by the solar wind. That's why they move.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
It's the polycules, okay? They, look, love is love. I just don't want it. with the stringy, greasy-haired, skidmark-having young gentleman. I don't want it. Okay? That's just sort of my two cents on that. Yeah, I don't know what's going on there. There's that whole era of rock stars in the 70s and 80s that just... I don't know, man.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Okay, that's why they move. What does the Aurora Borealis mean? Aurora Borealis is the scientific name for the northern lights, which literally means light of dawn. The term comes from the Roman goddess of dawn, Aurora, and the Greek god of the north wind, Boreas. The Aurora Borealis is seen in the Earth's northern hemisphere around the polar regions.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
It's difficult to predict when it will occur, but it's best to look for it on a clear night. The counterpart to the Aurora Borealis in the southern hemisphere is the Aurora Australis. Named after the Greek god of the south wind, Oster. Is that why Australia is named Australia? What the fuck? Is there a southern Aurora Borealis? No, there is not a southern Aurora Borealis. What the fuck?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
In the southern hemisphere, it's called the Aurora Austra... Oh, that's just... I can't... I'm like speechless.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Imagine being a caveman and seeing that in the sky. I would be terrified. I'd be terrified. They're coming! They're coming! Holy shit. I want to watch a video. I need to like get high as balls. I need to get high as balls, watch Dune Prophecy, and then watch Aurora Borealis live stream for three hours. You know what I've been into recently while I read?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Well, y'all know I like to watch those ambient videos, okay? And can I say something? I was on that before any of you bitches were on that. I, and I hate to be that person that I did it before it was cool, but I found that shit years ago. I've been watching that stuff for years, okay? There are a few that I like to tailor to the book I'm reading. when I read Sherlock Holmes, I do the London one.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
London Victorian study desk with light rainfall. I don't like the ones with campfire noises. I don't like the ones with fire noises, because the crackling and popping, it pisses me off, because I'm focusing on that now. And now I'm watching the screen when I really should be reading Sherlock Holmes.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Okay, so the rain, it's a good enough variation, you know what I mean, where it's not just brown noise, because then I'll go to sleep. It's enough. It's enough variation, okay? For a while, I was watching the Paris one. And then there's an Amalfi Coast one. But those don't really have rain.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
And sometimes when I clean the house or whatever, they have some with bossa nova, because we all know I do love bossa nova. So yeah, that's sort of, you know, get on that. If you haven't tried reading with that in the background, I'd really have to recommend it because it's really a spectacular experience. By the way, I'm a bit further in One Dark Window. Really, really cute.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
And apparently there's a smut scene coming up. Hurry, hurry. I want them to diddle each other up. Can you guys just diddle each other already? I'm tired of waiting. Boring. I'm not bored, actually. I'm not bored because I've read some fantasy books where I'm like, get to the fucking point. Like, I don't even need smut. Just give me a plot. Fuck. One Dark Window, the plot's compelling, okay?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
I love an original storyline. It's not like, and then there was a war, and then they have to fight the war. and you'll never guess who dies. Like, fuck you! Be original! And I will say, there is a skeleton to what makes a commercially successful romanticist, okay? And I applaud authors who try to break the mold, in any case.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
They were doing some crazy hairstyles and probably sleeping with some minors. You know, that was sort of... It was hand in hand. You had a crazy Jimmy Page haircut and you were, you know, sort of being intimate with 15-year-olds. And I don't really know what the correlation is there. I don't really know what that is. Makes me sick, though. So...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
And I think that's, you know, the first person to do that, you start the new genre, you start the new offshoot of a famous genre. So... Shout out. Especially when magic is involved, it's super hard to create a new magic system that is easily understandable, that is new and inventive, and isn't, you know...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
easily drawn back to, okay, it's clear this author was inspired by this book or inspired by this series or by this character or whatever. And I want to do a quick shout out to all the fan fiction writers who started writing a story inspired by either their favorite celebrity, a book character, a movie character, whatever, and then slightly adapted it and turned it into its own full story.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Shout out, because that's what the fuck I'm talking about. Okay, anyway. Aurora Borealis. Yeah, that shit is... Wow. Oh, did we stop? Did we finish talking about the lamp story? Oh, yeah, I went on a whole spiral, didn't I? Sorry for getting existential. Oh, fuck. Oh, we haven't done this in a while. I want to do my song of the week.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
And I also want to do a lyric breakdown of one of my most favorite songs of all time. Because eventually I'm going to do... Okay, well, here's what it is. It's a hosier song. Eventually I'm going to do a, what I did with Motomami by Rosalia.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
I want to do that with Wasteland Baby by Hosier because Wasteland Baby and Hosier self-titled are all like albums that have impacted me thus in a way that is just, I mean, fundamental. And it's art that It feels like a privilege to be able to discuss it and annotate it and think about all the references, literary and musical, that he has packed into these albums.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
So here are two of my favorite songs of all time. We're going to start with Foreigner's God. by Hosier, and we're going to do a lyric breakdown. I'm going to do a dramatic reading a la Jonah Hill and 21 Jump Street. 22, 21 Jump Street. Okay, here we go. This is from, self-titled, his first album from 2014.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
She moved with shameless wonder, the perfect creature rarely seen, since some liar brought the thunder when the land was godless and free. Her eyes look sharp and steady into the empty parts of me. Still, my heart is heavy with the hate of some other man's beliefs. Still, my heart is heavy with the hate of some other man's beliefs.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Always a well-dressed fraud who wouldn't spare the rod, never for me. I love genius. Let's read this shit. From the Victorian phrase, spare the rod and spoil the child, meaning without corporal punishment, a child will become spoiled. In the context of the song, it points towards the parent referred to in the line with the hate of some other man's beliefs.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
This is also the parent that has instilled these patriarchal values in him. Here's the chorus. Scream in the name of a foreigner's God. Scream in the name of a foreigner's God, the purest expression of grief. Oh, my fucking God. Screaming the name of a foreigner's God, the purest expression of grief, because how else do we know how to express that?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
our outrage, our any explicative than through this Judeo-Christian lens. It's infiltrated our language. Throwback to me crying about the divinity of the Aurora Borealis 20 minutes ago. Okay. Verse two, wondering who I copy, mustering some tender charm. She feels no control of her body. She feels no safety in my arms.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
I've no language left to say it, but all I do is quake to her, breaking if I try conveying the broken love I make to her. I just can't.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
You bitches don't get it. Everyone say sorry hosier in the comments right now. Wondering who I copy, mustering some tender charm. She feels no control of her body. She feels no safety in my arms.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
If the song truly is supposed to represent Ireland, then the top line, she feels no control of her body, could refer to the fact that it wasn't until the early 20th century that Ireland began its own nation again. but is still split. Going with the top, the bottom line could refer to Hosier trying to do justice by bringing something back to her, but the damage has already been done.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Guess what a Cortado is? Three espresso shots. That was at 8 a.m. It's 7 p.m. Okay, then I had a Red Bull. Then I had a coffee. Then I had another Red Bull, a blueberry Red Bull. And then as of recently, I had a Red Bull Zero Sugar. or Red Bull Zero, and they've got monkey fruit. They do monkey fruit in there. What is it? Sugar, Red Bull, monkey fruit.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
I've no language left to say it. The song in general is about the pain of losing your own people's language, as most Irish people have lost fluency in Irish Gaelic. The most intimate things we do, like screaming out in sexual ecstasy, are bound by our conception, and our conceptions are bound by our language.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
If you're monolingual, your most private thoughts and most wild fantasies are still bordered by the possibilities structured in your language, in ways you're probably not even aware of. This song is a lament to that fact. Whoever the fuck wrote this on Genius? Holy shit. It's true. All that I've been taught and every word I've got is foreign to me.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Screaming the name of a foreigner's God, the purest expression of grief. There are so many layers to this of both, you know, when you're thinking about it through the Catholic church lens. where 100% of the time when children are raised in a Catholic upbringing, a Catholic church, a Catholic school, they didn't pick that. This is something being forced on them.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
And forever, from now until the end of time, your worldview will be impacted by your time spent in the Catholic church. And that's not just the Catholic church, any church, any religious institution that you were brought up in as a child. Feel however you want to feel about that, but acknowledge that that happened.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Acknowledge that your worldview is, for better or worse, clouded by a religious aroma, right? Everything you do, say, hear, and know is being pushed through a filter, a cheesecloth filter. of religion. And that does something to the brain. So that's one layer to this.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Another layer is, of course, the oppressive history of the British Empire on Ireland, the bloody history of Ireland with respect to Great Britain. the attempted and demi-successful killing off of the Irish people, the loss of the Irish language, the abuses in the Irish church, all of these things where it ties back into the language that we use to describe such atrocities.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
And this is prevalent in a lot of poetry around colonialism or slavery when it comes to, I'm speaking the colonizer's language. And I think this is, in a sense, this is what this song is about. You know, the way that I'm even singing this song and expressing these heavy thoughts I have is through, it's in English. I'm not English. So. That's another.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
I'm really intrigued by she feels no control of her body. She feels no safety in my arms. I want to say that there's also a level of ever-present in Hosier's works is this plea for women's rights. And Swan Upon Leda, which... Fuck, let's read that one next. Swan Upon Leda is another one that is... He released this during... Oh, this is 2023. I thought he released this during the pandemic.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
He released this right around when Roe v. Wade was overturned. And I think he had had it. It had been in the arsenal for a while. And he decided to share it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
That I don't have control over my own body. I don't have autonomy. Laws regulate my body. And I am a walking womb to these fucking people, you know? And it's just like this, this sweeping sense of just numbness of like, I cannot believe. And so to have him release this was such a beautiful display of like, I can't do much, but here's what I can offer, you know? Okay.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
A husband waits outside. A crying child pushes a child into the night. She was told he would come this time without leaving so much as a feather behind. To enact at last the perfect plan, one more sweet boy to be butchered by man. But the gateway to the world was still outside the reach of him, would never belong to angels, had never belonged to men. The swan upon Leda, empire upon Jerusalem.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
A grandmother smuggling meds passed where the god-child soldier Setanta stood dead. Our graceful turner of heads. Weaves through the checkpoints like a needle and thread. Someone's frightened boy waves her on. She offers a mother's smile as soon as she's gone. The gateway to the world, the gun in a trembling hand. Where nature unmakes the boundary, the pillar of myth still stands.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
The swan upon Leda, occupier upon ancient land. The gateway to the world was still outside the reach of him. Wood never belonged to angels, had never belonged to men.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Monkey, what is monk fruit in Red Bull? What the fuck is monk fruit? Monk fruit extract, a plant-based sweetener. combines with erythritol, a sugar alcohol, and sucralose. You know what makes me feel good about that is that I can't pronounce any of those ingredients and also surely none of it's in the Bible. That's how you know it's good for you. That's how you know it's going to embalm you.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
So a lot of themes here. I don't know what genius is about to sort of detail here, but again, we're dealing with themes of war and abortion and forced pregnancies and separated families and occupied lands and colonialism. And I mean, the list just goes on and on because they're, they're all intertwined. They're all coexisting and one is a cause of the other, you know?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
So first of all, let's, let's look up Swan upon Leda and, And if I'm not mistaken, I think that this is... It's an old myth and it has to do with a god assaulting a goddess or a nymph and... Some form of that, some form of a male god exerting dominance and sexual ownership over a goddess. I'm fairly certain. Let me go ahead and double check.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
In Greek mythology, the myth of Leda and the swan tells of Zeus seducing Leda, the queen of Sparta, in the form of a swan. Zeus, the king of the gods, transformed into a swan to seduce Leda. Leda slept with the swan and then with her husband, King Tyndareus, on the same night. Leda laid two eggs that hatched four children.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Helene... Okay, so knowing that it's a myth, let's go back to the lyrics and... Let's go, I guess, line for line. Buckle up. Buckle in. So, yes, this does reference Zeus as the swan assaulting Leda and her burying his children. as is custom of the olden times, a husband would wait outside while the wife gives birth. The second line, a crying child pushes a child into the night.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
I think we can sort of understand what he's saying there. She was told he would come this time without leaving so much as a feather behind to enact at last the perfect plan, one more sweet boy to be butchered by men. So that's the swan leaving.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Genius says this seems to be about the way patriarchal society destroys boys as well as girls, raising them with toxic ideas about women, punishing them for expressing emotion or affection, and turning them into agents of the structures that hurt them, a game where not even the winners get to truly win. But the gateway to the world was still outside the reach of him.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Wood never belonged to angels, had never belonged to men. The swan upon Leda, empire upon Jerusalem. Empire upon Jerusalem seems to allude to the annexation of Jerusalem by various empires as akin to Zeus' sexual assault of Leda in Greek mythology. Ireland recognizes the statehood of Palestine, and it is a significant topic of modern discourse in Ireland.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Hosier's reference to border crossing could suggest that mankind's empires and various seizures of the Holy Land and the lore of Christianity have laid waste to one of the holiest places on earth.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
In Christianity, this would be considered the birthplace of Jesus and a sacred place to be venerated, but the parallel drawn may be that it is the birthplace of conflict via the imagery of a child born of a salt. In the second verse about the grandmother smuggling medicine in past the guard soldier who is a child himself.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
And looks at him knowingly with this gaze of, you know, you're a young boy and I am a mother. And I know that this situation we're in is just, it's just that acknowledgement. You know, it's still a young boy. He's afraid. And now he's been armed. And that line about, you know, the trembling hand with the gun in it, I mean, it's just so beautifully written. Shit.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
When I say I love Hosier, this is, I mean, it's one thing to say it, and it's another thing to just spend time with the art. And I would be doing y'all a disservice if I continued to just talk about, oh, his lyrics, his lyrics, his lyrics, and not actually, are you hearing this? Here's another one. This song is called To Be Alone. This is one of my favorites.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Once again, a topic that continues to come up on this podcast and in my life that has no means being a sort of evergreen topic that we should always be discussing or that somehow always comes up in conversation. But here it is, once again, being immortal is not a blessing, okay? And everyone knows my opinions on being immortal. It's a curse, right? That the beauty of life is that it's finite.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
These lyrics are a bit more straightforward, right? We don't have to do so much annotating and Cliff's notes on it. This one is also, the melody is so fucking good. He sings his face off. And this is, to me, the pinnacle of what a good fucking song is, to me, my opinion. It's a great melody, a great vocalist, talented instrumentalist, and lyrics that just...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Stand alone as a poem, I would be, but he also managed to add a fantastic melody that's catchy. It's got a hook, you know, to it and live. Don't even get me started on how it sounds live. Never feel too good in crowds, with folks around, when they're playing the anthems of rape culture loud. Crude and proud, creatures baying. All I've ever done is hide from our times.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
When you're near me, honey, when you kill the lights and kiss my eyes, I feel like a person for a moment of my life. But you don't know what hell you put me through. To have someone kiss the skin that crawls from you. To feel your weight in arms I'd never use. It's the God that heroin prays to. It feels good, girl, it feels good to be alone with you. There are questions I can't ask.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Now at last the worst is over. See the way you hold yourself. Reel against your body's borders. I know that you hate this place. Not a trace of me would argue. Honey, we should run away. Someday our baby and her mama and the damaged love she made. But I don't know what else that I would do than try to kiss the skin that crawls from you. To feel your weight in arms I'd never use.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
It's the God that heroin prays to. Can you fucking believe? Can you believe my favorite line? This also seems to be someone talking to their abuser. After an assault, many people feel their skin crawl when they experience a sensation that reminds them of it, even if they love and trust the person they're with now.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Trying to have consensual sex after surviving sexual violence can be incredibly frustrating because it can feel like your body is betraying you. It won't let you forget what you've gone through and can even drag your mind back to the incident. And I would add on to that, unfairly blame the person you're with or take it out on the
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Ideally, in an ideal scenario, you trust completely and they understand what's happened and have the utmost respect and caution with the situation. But it's one of those things that's just unfair. It's unfair. Even him starting the song with, you know, I never feel too good in crowds with folks around when they're playing the anthems of rape culture loud.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
You know what that makes me think of is that fucking Robin Thicke song. You know the one I'm talking about, that one that it was everywhere. And it just, every song, every chart topper, it just, we live in such a hyper-sexualized culture and it's sick, right? And it's weird and it's too normalized. And it is, I don't think it's good or safe or healthy.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
And it empowers the wrong people, you know, to feel emboldened in their acts. So anyway, I didn't mean to bring the tone down. I didn't mean to bring the vibes down. But when I say I love Hosier, he is capable of that type of songwriting, tackling such heavy topics and putting them to songs that make it bearable. It makes it bearable.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
And Caleb and I talked about this, that your cup— It empties, okay? The cup doesn't runneth over. The cup empties, and that's what makes the monkey fruit so sweet. That's what makes the hydradextrin erythritol sugar alcohol sucralose so delicious, okay, is that it's not forever. But I think I've changed my mind on it. I'd like to live forever now. And I believe. I believe. I believe. I believe.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
And it's that, but he also has silly sexual songs about being so in love with your partner and lustful and how that is as much a part of reciprocated romantic love as all the emotional things. And it's not... Sex doesn't overpower the emotional side and the emotional side doesn't overpower sex. It's in a perfect scenario.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
It's this beautiful harmony where, you know, it's a current that flows and ebbs and never stops. And it's beautiful. He's got a song called Moment Silence about fucking. Plenty of his songs are about fucking, which I'm down with. But then there's also songs about the church and religious trauma. And I, oh my God, just love him. Love him to goddamn death.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
One of my favorite songs by him of all time. I've talked about it. It's Empire Now. Empire Now is so good. Blood Upon the Snow from the God of War soundtrack. What? Arguably top three hosiery songs ever. And it was on a fucking video game soundtrack.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Okay. That'll do it for me this week, guys. Love you. Thanks for rocking with me and my heavy topics and me crying and the lamp dream and the Aurora Borealis. Shout out. And yeah, if you want some merch, go grab it. I'm not stopping you. No one's stopping you. Broski.shop and go check out Royal Court, my medieval interview show. All right. I'll see y'all next week. Love you. Be good. Bye.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
That's from Book of Mormon. And that's a funny, it's actually a funny song because in Book of Mormon, that whole song is pointing out how kind of silly some of their beliefs are. I believe that a man came down and granted only the Mormons with eternal life. That's kind of the song. Anyway, I do believe that I've consumed enough Red Bull in my lifetime that I am preserved.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
You see my beautiful glowing skin. You see my strong little frame, okay? You see my pearlescent my pearlescent shine. And I know you're wondering, how does she have that beauty of youth? How does she have that eternal life glow? Well, Monkey Fruit Red Bull, make it for asking. They're never going to sponsor me.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Mask off, fuck it, mask off. Welcome back to the Broski Report. I've had... well over the daily maximum allotment of caffeine, which we all know, collectively, let's say it, 400 milligrams. I've Googled that plenty of times on this podcast. And I look a little bit like John Lennon today, and it's kind of bothering me. I think it's the no volume in my hair.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Ow. The monkey fruit, it's in my blood. Red Bull watching this like, maybe we should stop sending her PR.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Drewski's like another topic that continuously comes up and I have no problem talking about Drewski. I love him. He's got this bit where he goes... He'll have people come on, could have been records or wherever. He'll be interviewing people on the street or, you know, he's just anything where he's talking to someone to the camera and someone will come up and, you know, he'll interact with them.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Then they'll go away and he'll turn around. He'll go, yeah, man, he didn't know. Yeah, he's lost.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Yeah, man, he's lost. You know, he doesn't really... He doesn't really have a direction in life. Yeah, man, he didn't know that song. He lied. That's not making sense. I'm not doing the bit justice.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Stupid. Okay, let's move on from how the monkey fruit is going to make me live forever. Actually, no, I'd like to go back to that. What do we think is the long-term side effects of consuming monkey fruit? Is monk fruit bad for you?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
The FDA, which is sort of not trustable or any marker or checkmark of health and wellness in this country, I really wouldn't put it past the FDA to approve cyanide as long as it's in a small enough dose. As long as, look, we gave it to some squirrels and they only died after 24 hours, not after 12. So it's fine to put in Cheez-Its.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Okay, we put the monkey fruit and the cyanide in the Cheez-Its, but only in the limited edition flavor. Okay, in the pickle pizza flavor. In the ranch jumping jack pickled feet pizza flavor. Only available limited time at Jimmy John's. We only did that so it's not even going to affect the population that bad. So yeah, it's FDA approved. Stamp, check, move on. Monk fruit, good or bad?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
There is a consensus among experts that monk fruit is safe for consumption. In the amount typically used in foods and beverages. See what I'm talking about? I'm not that far off. They're like, yeah, you can chew on plastic and swallow it as long as it's not too much. Okay. It's important to note that some people may experience mild gastrointestinal side effects, such as bloating or diarrhea.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
However, these side effects are typically rare and resolve on their own. Okay. You guys go out and buy some monk fruit. Everyone go buy some monkey fruit and eat way too much of it. Okay, can I tell you something I've been actually kind of worried about? What the fuck is the lamp dream? What is the lamp dream? And why are people, why are women on TikTok having crises?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
I feel like I know, but I'd like to sort of explore it. Girl, the first fucking thing is a Reddit and Creepypasta link. What are y'all talking about? How have we somehow landed back on Creepypasta? How? How? Actually, that checks out. Okay. The internet is captivated by eerie lamp story. The lamp story, Reddit Creepypasta. Guys, fuck you. Let's read it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
There's something about a white guy that when they get to a certain age or they're into a certain type of media, they're like, it's okay, I can grow my hair out this long. And they're wrong. because it's not in a sort of Fabian kind of fantasy romance novel lead way, you know, where he's got war braids, okay? John Lennon didn't have war braids. We weren't doing Viking John Lennon.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Notice, this is an allegedly true story posted in the comment section of an r slash ask Reddit post. Okay. One second. Okay, go ahead and rewind for me. Let's go back to that original Google search because r slash glitch in the matrix. Let me go ahead and cut to the chase of what we're talking about. I feel like I'm an apparition. I have so much caffeine in my system right now.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
I feel like a ghostly form. You know, when you go on a ghost tour in like a city, do y'all do that? When you go to a new city, are you like, gonna check out the local haunts? I always go on a ghost tour in the city I'm going to. One of the best ones I've ever been on was in San Antonio, Texas. Y'all need to go on that walking tour. I wish I remembered the name of the company that puts it on.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
But the guy dressed up like a fucking ghost. And that's how you know it's gonna be good. That's how you know he takes his job seriously. And they took us to this hotel called, I think I've talked about this before a long time ago. They took us to this hotel called the Yellow Rose Hotel. like the Yellow Rose of Texas, or maybe it's called the Elizabeth. I don't remember.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
It's one of those super high-rise hotels in downtown San Antonio. Apparently the top, just picked a booger, that's cool, the very top floor used to be the surgery level, okay? And now it is permanently stained in the walls. It smells like formaldehyde or like that anesthesia smell to sterilize things.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
And the service elevator in that hotel was the old body chute because at the very basement of this hotel was a mortuarium. It was a crematorium. You know what I'm trying to say. They would burn the bodies, the sick, dead bodies. So have a great sleep tonight. Here's the lamp story.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
Creepypasta time! This is an allegedly true story posted in the comment section of an r slash ask Reddit post. The question was, have you ever felt a deep connection to a person you've met in a dream? The original post was made years ago on a throwaway account. A screenshot can be found here. Throwaway account, because this is really personal. Okay, okay, okay.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
This story is also known as a parallel life or awoken by a lamp. Here we go. My last semester at a certain college... Oh, Jesus Christ. Trigger warning, guys. Hey, why'd you type it like that? Okay. After two years, she graced me with her seed. Okay. I had a great job and my wife didn't have to work outside of the house. When my daughter was two, she bore me a son. What?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
When my daughter was two, my wife bore me a son. My son was the joy of my life. I would walk into his room every morning before I left for work and doted on him and my daughter. One day while sitting on the couch, I noticed that the perspective of the lamp was odd, like inverted. It was still in 3D, but just wrong.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
It was a square lamp base, red with gold trim on four legs and a white square shade. I was transfixed. I couldn't look away from it. I stayed up all night staring at it. The next morning, I didn't go to work. Something was just not right about that lamp. I stopped eating. I left the couch only to use the bathroom at first. Soon I stopped that too as I wasn't eating or drinking.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
I stared at the fucking lamp for three days before my wife got really worried. She had someone come and try to talk to me. By this time, my cognizance was breaking up and my wife was freaking out. She took the kids to her mother's house just before I had my epiphany. The lamp is not real. The house is not real. My wife, my kids, none of that is real.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
We're doing stinky, greasy, stringy, long hair on a white dude, okay? And there's nothing worse because you can smell that musk from 30 feet away.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
The last 10 years of my life are not fucking real. The lamp started to grow wider and deeper. It was still inverted dimensions. It took up my entire perspective, and all I could see was red. I heard voices, screams, all kinds of weird noises, and I became aware of pain. A fucking shit ton of pain. The first words I said were, I'm missing teeth, and I opened my eyes.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
85: Discussing the Lamp Dream
I was laying on my back on the sidewalk, surrounded by people that I didn't know. Lots were freaking out. I was completely confused. At some point, a cop scooped me up, dragged, walked me across the sidewalk and grass and threw me face down in the back of a cop car. I was still confused. I was taken to the hospital by the cop and gave CT scans and shit.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
We were blown away. And it deals with, you know, the residual effects of trauma. And how we construct our own realities to best make that trauma livable. And it deals with themes like domestic abuse and the reality of life as a woman in that time period. And, you know, maybe even the time period that we live in today. It was just amazing. I cannot, well, cannot sing its praises enough.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Also, while we were in London... We went to, this is totally unrelated, we went to Churchill's War Rooms, which I don't mean to turn this into a history lesson, but it's about to be a history lesson, so lock the fuck in, because we're doing, once again, Professor Broski's World War II segment, okay? World War II history segment.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
I've been to the war rooms before, and I've also been to the Imperial War Museum. And the UK is a very, very interesting country to do a museum like that. Obviously, as a sentient adult, you become aware that each country has their own retelling of what transpired from 1900 to 1945. And that just becomes very apparent when you walk through a museum like this.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
And I think that the war rooms, if you ever get a chance to go, please go. If you are interested in history at all like that, especially political figures in history, Churchill was not a good man, to put it very elementaryly. He, you know, was born to be a politician. There was never going to be anything else he was going to do other than, like, be a politician. And I think that this museum...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
to its credit, does a good job of not trying to, like, embalm him in hero fluid. You know what I mean? They didn't try to make a hero out of Churchill. I think that they accurately portrayed how destitute the situation was before, and this is, look, okay, I'm American, let me say it, before America kind of swooped in and the Allies really won the war. The situation was bleak in the UK.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
And all my theater bitches, you know about that play. Dude. Yeah, he was, the premiere was on the 13th. and his play was all that week, but there was a showing on the 15th, and I was like, motherfucker, should we stay? But it was sold out, and then we figured it out, and I got tickets, and me and Stanley went, oh my god. Hold on, let me go back to Mickey 17. So much fun. So much fun.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
And when you go on any tour through the United Kingdom, when you go to any museum, any whatever, you would be in the minority to find a building or a family or a company that was not affected by the Blitzkrieg in London specifically and around London. The German air raid, the continuous German air raid on London during World War II.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Roman ruins in London. I mean, one of the oldest cities in the world, okay? Destroyed by the Blitzkrieg. And I think that when you look at it like that, and the Imperial War Museum, if you ever get a chance to go, does an incredible job of reimagining what life would have been like as a British citizen during that time period. Yeah. I'm talking war rations.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
I'm talking air raids, consistent air raids, the different types of planes to see overhead and how to recognize if one is German and one is, you know, a friendly bird. Not only that, but the reality of you're going to be inside for a while. And even inside, you're not safe. And they have this reimagined living room of the average British family in the 1930s, 1940s.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
And some of it has some real memorabilia from that time. And it's just harrowing. I mean, you can read about history in a book. You can watch a documentary. You can watch an interview by someone who is a World War II veteran or whatever. Nothing has sent a chill down my spine quite like being in this reimagined little living room.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
with the tiny little radio and the reimagined war rations and the family photos and the sound of the sirens. And they have completely reconstructed it. And you sit there, I can't even put into words how just horrifying doesn't begin to cover it. And, uh,
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
localizing this to just a British struggle war in any case is brutal it's inhumane it is unthinkable this is just I think a more it was the most tangible thing that I've ever been immersed in, if that makes sense. So you sit in this little fake living room and they do all the raids and all the drills and all the propaganda videos and cut back on the bread that you're eating.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
And if you can, you know, buy a war bond, buy it and all these things. It's just that history is not far away. And this is unrelated, but very related at the same time. When you think about segregation and things like the Civil Rights Act, all of these things are not ancient history. This was in our grandparents' lifetime. So when you go to museums like this, don't think that this is too far off.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
And I don't say that to scare you, but it's, you know, you need to be acquainted with these things because we are living through unprecedented time after unprecedented time. And it's just important to be aware of what we're living through right now and the real risks that having a leader, the fucking sitting leader of the free world like Donald Trump, what life under his regime could turn into.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Okay, anyway, they went to the war rooms. And I think that this museum is very well done. And it's a museum, but it's also the actual place where Churchill and his cabinet, quote unquote, met and it was literally, a bunker isn't even an accurate description. This was just the basement of some government building. It was not safe. It was not reinforced.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
The movie's fun. It was... freezing fucking cold in London because duh. And yeah, it was a blast. I think, oh, I wore this crazy fit, okay? One of the best fits me and my stylist have ever cooked up. That fit, it was very like, menswear is back. Let me sort of put y'all, let me guide y'all's finger to the pulse, okay? Menswear is so back.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
The attempt they did at reinforcing it with this slab of concrete, that wasn't going to keep them safe. It is a miracle that this place was not bombed and everyone in it died. And from this little bunker, People lived there. They slept there. They had fake sunlamps because they spent so long underground. They had one—and this was like a super secret. Whoa.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
They had a direct phone line for Winston Churchill to speak to the American president in the 40s, and they would discuss plans and—
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
And they would have these meetings in these rooms that were probably 15 by 15 feet, and they would cram 20, 30 people in there, all of these desks, and every single morning update everyone on the location of German troops, the location of British troops, the evacuation of Dunkirk, all these things. This was... It was real. And that sounds so stupid to say because, of course, it was real.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
But when you are standing in the room where these briefings were giving, I can't. It's like you have to really focus to make it connect in your brain. Like, I... I am here. I have the privilege of standing here and witnessing this. And they have it all behind glass in the map room. It's called the map room.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
And it's kind of at the heart of the basement of this building where there's maps on every wall from everywhere from all of Europe to granular London to Japan, Korea, all of these places where you can see all the little pinpricks in it where they would move the... the little pins and update positioning. And there's a big desk in the middle with all these telephones on top and they wouldn't ring.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
They would light up different colors because obviously it's the ringing would be loud. And it's just, it's unreal because it's all just how they left it on what? August 16th, 1945. Like the day the war was over, everyone left and it's left just like that. There's still pencils on the table. There's, you know, all the equipment, the telephones and the bedding and the newspapers.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
It's just, it's amazing. It's amazing. And I think they opened up the war rooms to public interest. You could tour it, finally, in the 80s, and you have to pay for a ticket inside, and all that money goes to keeping it up and restoring it and all that. It's so neat. To open things like that up to, you know, the general populace. Someone like me. I'm not British.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
And it's psychotic to think I can go in there and just be like, whoa, this is what happened. Because that history is all of our history. And that sounds so fucking corny, but it's true. And the Imperial War Museum explores World War I and World War II. And that's harrowing as well because...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
World War I, I mean, not to go back into what I used to talk about all the time, but that was my hyper fixation for a second because the sheer magnitude of destruction that that war brought
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
on mankind is, I mean, there have been horrible wars in human history, but World War I, that was the turn of, we're using biological warfare, we're using tanks, we are using technology to assist in the killing of human beings in a way that we've never seen before. You know, muskets, bayonets, sure, that's technology too, but this was the beginning of, you know, something that
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
has turned into nuclear warfare. And it's scary to look back on that time and think, they didn't even know what they were introducing into warfare. All that to say, anyway, if you're ever in the UK, check out the war rooms because it's psychotic. And I have a little magnet on my fridge that says, eat less bread. And I think it's silly because it's like, oh, eat less bread like Kate Moss.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Oh, like Kate Moss, like a model, like don't eat bread. But really it's in relation to the war rations. And there's another one that I have in my office that says, self-indulgence at this time is aiding the enemy. It's just, you know, when you see propaganda as something that is an art piece and is funny and someone had to sit down and be like, okay, how do we tell them to not eat that much?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
How do we tell them to not eat that much because war rations cost money and we don't have money? It was very educational. This museum, both of those museums do a really great job of honoring the dead, honoring the effort, the war effort by everyone. You know, there are different sections for women, for POC soldiers, for the young underage soldiers that conscripted, you know, to...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
And it's fun to experiment with not only just like the suit and tie sort of thing, but incorporating interesting shapes into the red carpet space. You know what I mean? And I know people kind of do that with the structured gowns or like when they have stuff come up over the bodice and it's, you know, really structured and whatever. That's one thing is like evening wear. But this sort of
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
For the sake of my country and for God glory and country. No, what is it? King and country. I mean, these kids were as young as 14 conscripting lying about their age to go join up. And it's like, so very, very educational, very relevant. Not in a scary way, but also kind of in a scary way. And while I was down in the war rooms, of course, I did actually start my period.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
So raise your hand if you've started your menstrual cycle in Churchill's war rooms. Just me? Just me, I guess.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Okay, let's talk about the fun stuff now.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
When was the last time you needed to go to a doctor but you pushed it off? You made the excuse, I'm too busy, I can't find my insurance card. Getting health advice from the latest social media trend or influencer is enough. I think we've all been there. Booking a doctor's appointment can feel so daunting. But thanks to ZocDoc, there's no reason to delay.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
They make it so easy to find and book a doctor who's right for you. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. We're talking about booking in-network appointments with more than 100,000 doctors across every specialty, from mental health to dental health, primary care to urgent care, and more.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
You can filter for doctors who take your insurance, are located nearby, and are a good fit for any medical need you may have. Also, with hundreds of verified patient reviews, you can find the type of care and support you're looking for, from good bedside manner to fast wait times to doctors with the best listening skills.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Once you find the right doctor, you can see their actual appointment openings. Choose a time slot that works for you and click to instantly book a visit. Appointments made through ZocDoc also happen fast, typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. You can even score same-day appointments.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Everyone knows I use ZocDoc to find my dermatologist, and Lord knows I keep him in business, so I'm glad I found him. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to ZocDoc.com slash broski to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash broski. ZocDoc.com slash broski.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Here's a fact that will shock absolutely no one. 66% of men are investing in the stock market compared to just 48% of women. Here's another one that won't surprise any of you. Multiple studies have shown that women are better investors than men. Why? Because men are overconfident and women actually do their research.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
The investing gap means less women have the chance to build wealth now and can have huge repercussions down the road when it comes time for them to retire. The good news is that Acorns makes it easy for everyone to start investing. Acorns believes that anyone can be an investor. That's why they make it easy to stick to basic, time-tested principles that give your money a chance to grow.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Acorns is a financial wellness app that makes it easy to start saving and investing for your future. You don't need to be an expert. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that matches you and your money goals. You don't need to be rich. Acorns lets you get started with the spare money you've got right now. And even if all you've got is spare change, you don't need a ton of time.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
You can create your Acorns account and start investing in just five minutes. I believe that putting aside money for future me is a form of self-care, and Acorns cuts out all the intentionally confusing jargon and processes to cut straight to the goal, investing money for older me.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
cocktail, business casual, fun take on menswear is really, I just, I'm having fun. Me and my stylist, Kat Spaldos, we have a fucking blast. When we do fittings, we just yell. And then what if we did the, yes, yes! It's so much fun. So we stuck around and we saw Streetcar Named Desire. Now, let me sort of reveal my soul for a second.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
View important disclosures at acorns.com slash broski. I went to Penhaligon's. Let me tell you something about this. Michelle Visage, you will always be famous. Michelle Visage, I love you. Michelle Visage talks about Penhaligon's on TikTok all the time. I was like, what the fuck is that? It's a perfume house. It's a British perfume house that was started way long ago and then had to shut down.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
And then some Italian designer or businessman came in and revived it because there was this one super famous fragrance that Churchill used to wear and all these, you know, it was a very high society fragrance, you know. And they revived it, and someone took over as creative director, and now there's a full storyline. And there's a narrative to this perfume house, which I love. Hey, duh.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
I love shit like that. And it is so fucking British. And it's so fun. So... There's this whole storyline behind Penhaligon's and all the names of the fragrances and how they release them and, you know, what their best sellers are and all this. So it's based around this sort of murder mystery of a man and his estranged wife and his mistress.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
And then all these characters get introduced and each fragrance is named after one of them. It kind of gives... What's that game? Clue. Like, Mr. Mustard, Colonel Mustard, all that shit. Like, it's very reminiscent of that, but all the characters are so fucking British. Well... I go in and this was another, I was like, fuck.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
I went in and I always, when I go to Britain, I like to say, I like to ask the people working there, how old is this building? Because you never know. You never know how old the structure that you're standing in could be. And she was like, well, the original structure is surely the 1600s, but this one rebuilt after the war, destroyed in the bombings.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
And I was like, fucking course it's destroyed in the bombings. Everything was destroyed in the bombings. It sucks. And so I was like, how old is this building? She was like, well, they rebuilt it after the war, but Penhaligon's has been around since, let me see. Penhaligon's is a symbol of English artistic perfumery.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
The brand, originally founded as a barbershop in 1870, immediately made people interested, attracting the curiosity of the English nobility, and in particular, that of the crown. So it's been around for a super long time. Anyway, so we go in and I'm like, let me smell Halfeti. Halfeti is their most successful, like, bestseller. And Halfeti is a city in Turkey, if I'm not mistaken. Turkey, yes.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
That was going to be humiliating if that was wrong. Halfeti is in Turkey. And... Of course, everything relates back to imperialism. And halfetti is this really beautiful, it's like there's notes of coffee in it. There's, it's very woody. Here are the accords. Woody, aromatic, warm, spicy. I'm into that. I'm into that. And here's another thing.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Okay, this is kind of separate, but warm florals, I'm trying to get into. Fuck me, dude. Warm floral. I want to smell like a hotel lobby. I don't want to smell like a model. Does that make sense? And I don't even think, like, models don't even wear, like, models wear some weird-ass shit. So, I don't know.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
I never actually saw A Streetcar Named Desire when I was in high school. It's one of those that's always in rotation for one-act plays or for community theater, or it's always, it feels like it's showing on Broadway or whatever. I've never actually seen it. And I actually went into it not knowing the plot or even the setting or anything, just that it's super famous.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Like, when you go into Sephora and all those fragrances, it's like warm floral, light floral, clean floral. I don't give a fuck about floral! What? I like woody. Woody, oud, musk, all that, that's my shit, okay? Halfeti, it is a mature fragrance, I would say, but it's so good. Here are the top notes. Cypress leaf, saffron, cardamom, artemisia, bergamot, grapefruit.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Heart notes are Bulgarian rose, nutmeg, jasmine. I don't like rose. You know, here's another thing. There are some perfumers or some fragrance TikTok people where I'm like... I don't know if I can trust your opinion because we don't have the same taste. If you are a person who loves florals, I don't really trust your opinion.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
If you love sugary sweet, if you like anything from Kayali, we're not on the same page. Kayali is like teenager Victoria's Secret sweet. I'm not into that. If you're into that, slay. Go do your thing. If you love Parfums de Marly, all those rose perfumes or those sickly sweet, whatever. Parfums de Marly isn't sickly sweet. Those are more, you know, mature, beautiful, sugary fragrances sometimes.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
But there's depth to those. Kayali, it's just sugar. And if you're into that, slay. And, you know, if you want to layer it with something deeper, slay. Not for me. Michelle Visage, her taste, we're on the same page, where if you're going to do a gourmand, it has to be a very interesting gourmand. And so that's, I would describe Helfetti as that.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Base notes are agarwood, agarwood, leather, cedar, sandalwood, amber, tonka bean, vanilla, musk. Yeah! Launched in 2015. This one is, it's just a classic. Like, Halfetti's a good one for every day, I would say. It's definitely a nighttime fragrance, but any gourmand is. In my opinion, the gourmand of all gourmands, this is my opinion, is Angel's Share by Killian. That motherfucker...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
You want to go out clubbing. You want to go to a nice dinner. You're on a date. You want to do this. You want to do that. If it's at night and you're feeling sexy, you do angel share. It'll last for seven years. One spray lasts seven years. And if you spray it on your clothes, even longer. And that one to me is like there's not a richer, more interesting, lustful gourmand. It just is.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Halfetti is delicious. So I got a little one of it. I got this other one by Penhaligon's called Dandy. And let me show you this motherfucking bottle, girl. It's from the, it's based on the 1920s, right? Like, great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald type of core. The branding is enough to make you want to buy it. Like, I went and I said, yeah, I guess I have to get that. Oh, look at her.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
She's beautiful. And it's got this little bow tie. It's so cute. This is a crazy fragrance. This is not a womanly fragrance. If you're going to gender fragrance, okay? I don't think that fragrance has a gender, but... I say that with an asterisk, right? Because I'm not going to ignore the way that they market these fragrances, the way that they gender notes in a fragrance.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
When we were in high school for our one-act play, we did Bus Stop, which is by William Inge. And him, Tennessee Williams, who wrote Streetcar Named Desire, and Arthur Miller, who wrote The Crucible and Death of a Salesman, they were all contemporaries. This is in like the 30s, 40s, 50s. Arthur Miller was famously married to Marilyn Monroe. So that's kind of this time period of post-war America.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Dandy is very masculine, and it's so interesting. The top note is whiskey. Whiskey, sandalwood, and something else. Cedarwood? Bergamot and raspberry.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Yeah, bergamot raspberry whiskey cedarwood. This one, it's just really interesting. And there's some note in it that I just... I keep coming back to it because I've never smelled anything like it. And maybe it's the whiskey. I don't know. This is one I'm trying to figure it out, okay? I smelled it. I was addicted to it. But I was like, how do you wear it? How do you wear it? It's too...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
weird to wear by itself. This is one I'm going to wear at home. I'm going to wear it at home so that none of my friends are like, what the fuck are you wearing? Because I like it. I like it. And I think if you put like a sweet lotion under it and then this on top, maybe it'd be interesting. I need to work with it. Let me spend some time with her and interview her, and I'll get back to you on that.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Dandy's very interesting. And the last one I got... Because I went crazy. I was like, they don't have Penhaligon's in the States. They have one in Soho in New York. And they used to sell it at Saks Fifth Avenue and Nordstrom and all this, but they pulled it off the shelves. I don't know why. Because this would make a killing in the States.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
This is a niche fragrance house that is British, that is interesting. It has an identity. And fragrance people... They're really missing a market here. So they have one store in Soho. They need to open one in like, you know, Chicago, Los Angeles, Austin, I would say. This is the other one I got. Now, all of these bottles have animal heads on them.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
They're supposed to be like, you know, in a rich English country estate, all of the maybe taxidermy you'd see on the wall or like after the men go on a hunt. Oh, yes, the hunt in Africa. Like very that. You know what I mean? All of the bottles in this line have either like a ram's head, a cat, a dragon, a bull. And so this one, of course, after she told me the story of it, I was like...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
This one is named The Blazing Mr. Sam. And in the storyline of Penhaligon's, he's the fucking American. I can't help it. An American abroad with all the cocky confidence you might expect. Hot and cold spices mingle over dry patchouli and creamy cedar in his eau de parfum. No one can quite resist Sam's charms. Yeehaw. I mean, come on. I smelled it. I was like, this is good.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Then she told me the story. I said, fuck. Okay, this fragrance is everything I want in a perfume, as me personally. Patchouli has to be done in a certain way for me to like it. Patchouli by itself smells like a fucking campfire, which I don't hate, but patchouli needs to be paired with something else. I feel the same way about Palo Santo. I love Palo Santo.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
But I need it to be paired with something else to wear it. Because it's one thing to smell it as like, you know, an aromatic or like a candle or whatever. Ooh, it smells good in here. But on the skin, on my skin, my acidic fucking talkies, red 40 skin, it's going to be different. So this one is really, really nice. I got her and I'm trying to figure out what to pair it with.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
And I'll get back to you guys on that. Okay. What did I also get? Oh, I also picked up Tom Ford recently. I have a problem, actually. I need to look in the mirror. I picked up Oud Wood by Tom Ford.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
it this is a cologne it is purely a cologne and the bottle's small and it's really fucking expensive and it doesn't last that long okay I'm pissed off but I got it at duty free at the airport they duped me into it and it smells beautiful I love the smell I just wish these fragrances would last longer and I've done all the fucking tricks okay make sure your skin is moisturized dab don't rub you know don't spray it only on your neck it'll wash you away spray on your pulse points I do all that shit
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
But if the fragrance, Jo Malone fragrances are gone in 20 minutes. If the fragrance is not potent, it will not last. That's why Killian is so impressive is because that shit lasts forever. Okay, so don't come at me and tell me I'm doing it wrong because I'm not. Anyway, pick this up too. Love her. Okay, let's move on from fragrance.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
I just wanted to give you all that update that I went to Penhaligon's, had a fucking blast. Very excited to start experimenting with some of those. Let's talk books for a second. We're in the rotation, okay? We've talked about World War II, fragrance, and now we have to talk about books. That's what this podcast has turned into. Other than when I go on a rant about what? Christ?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
And there are so many social constructs and social context that people are trying to return back to a normal life. But how can you, you know, in this post-war state? So Streetcar Named Desire is set in the 50s, I want to say. Yeah, in the 50s in New Orleans. And it is... Okay, so, Paul Mescal, right?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Christ on the cross? Sometimes that. So we're not doing that segment today. We're not doing the Christ segment right now. Right now we're doing books. Right now we're doing fairy smut. My good friend, Drew F. Wallow, had told me to read Quicksilver. Quicksilver is very smut. Okay. Are you mad at me? Do you guys hate me because I want to talk about the fairies fucking each other? It's been a while.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
I've been doing Orwell. I've been doing Ray Bradbury. It's time to read very smut. We got to go back to our roots team. Finish Quicksilver. Very long. Very good. Here's what here. Okay. Where do I even start? Quicksilver is... The classic, you know, human finds herself in the Fae world, the Fae realm, and there's a war. There's always a fucking war.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
And they need this special human's help winning the war because we haven't seen someone like you in the realm in 1,800 years. Okay? And we just ignore that she's 24 and her boyfriend's 1,800 years old. You just sort of ignore that because it's fine. Because he's sexy. Okay? Have you thought about that he's sexy and he's got a big penis and she's 24? No. You don't think about that.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
I think about that. And so, of course, she's got some special fucking gift that they need her help, whatever. The plot, I was hooked from start to finish. Here's what I will say, and I don't want to spoil it, but one of the characters is very, very selfish.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
And while it lends itself to the plot, you know, why characters make decisions that they do, how it affects their interpersonal relationship, all that, you know, whatever. It was giving me a little bit Iron Flame, but not too much. Not too much. There wasn't this miscommunication trope or I'm ignoring you trope. It was just one of the characters is like...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
I've made my decision, and you cannot convince me otherwise. Just let me do this. I'm doing this because I love you. And then the other character's like, fuck you, selfish prick. Okay? That's kind of one element of this book. And I was texting Drew, and I was like, girl, if he did that to me, I would have said, fuck you, and gone back to the human realm. You know what I mean?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Like, I'm not standing for bullshit. Anyway... I didn't spoil it, okay? This book is really, really good. I really enjoyed it. It was a lot of fun. And the sequel comes out in November, I think. I'm set. I'm going to read the sequel. It was fun. It was fun.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
But I will say at the end of the book, probably the last 50 pages, the author introduces a crazy plot line that, you know, I wish she had expanded on it a bit more, a bit earlier in the book. You're introduced to a character that changes the course of these characters' lives forever. That it's like, I wish I knew more about who this fucking dude is.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
And I hope that at the top of book two, there's a recap. Because a lot happened in the final pages of the book where I'm like, I'm going to need to be reminded of this. Because I'm not going to reread it. I'm going to need to be reminded. And maybe a map would be nice.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Guys, good morning. Don't talk to me until I've had my diarrhea. Don't talk to me until I've had the squirts. What a blessed morning it is, team. Haven't washed my hair in a week. You couldn't tell though. I'm training my hair. I don't think that's a real thing. I'm just, my hair stinks. You know what I mean? I'm back from London town.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
If we're doing notes right now, I would like a map of the realm and of the territories and of the river and the castle and the whatever. You know what I mean? That was Quicksilver. I give a 7.9, 8 out of 10. Really enjoyed it. Now I'm reading One Dark Window. It's good so far. It's good so far. I think it's YA. I think it's young adult, which doesn't bother me.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Half a Soul, that Regency fairy tale book I read, was so good. Yeah. I loved it. What made it so lovely is that it was a standalone. You know, she's written other Regency fairy tales with different characters in the same universe. But yeah, it was short, sweet, and to the point. And I was like, oh, I'm going to miss these characters. Like, it was that sort of book. And it was YA.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
It wasn't like, and then his cock went in. It wasn't that. Which is good because... Know your audience. Know the setting. You know, like we're talking Regency magic fairies. You know, it's Regency era. I shall take my leave. I can only hope to apologize, my lady, that if they were like, and then his cock went in my... Okay. Okay, I guess. Okay, his fairy cock went in my... Whatever.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
I thought he was going to be the lead because the way that they marketed it and all this, it's like, and Paul Mescal is brilliant, which he was, by the way. This play... I can't even tell you. I saw it with Stanley. And for the next hour after we saw this play, we went to dinner and we just could not stop talking. That is a good piece of fucking media, dude.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Can we go back to having tea, afternoon tea with his parents? Anyway.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Go to shopify.com slash broski to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com slash broski. Reading One Dark Window. It's tea so far. It's very... well, for lack of a better word, dark. It's dark. It's, you know, this mist has enveloped the land, and it's evil. It is all-consuming.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
You know, it's a matter of time before the town is enveloped in this darkness, and the weight rests on this one character's shoulders who, again, she has this power that no one else knows about, and she hates it about herself. And she thinks that she is... she's different and she's damaged. When in reality, she's the one that'll save us all. Isn't that fucking true?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Because we all have that inside of us. We all have a power that if we even knew our power, we could save all of us. Because we are nothing as one. We are everything together.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
So it's kind of that. I'm like 20% done. It's good so far. Next I'm reading, oh, I'm going to read this Viking, this Viking smut with Drew. We're going to book club. Also, when I get like, okay, that's enough fairy smut for the night, I switch over to Sherlock Holmes. I'm tandem reading Sherlock Holmes and One Dark Window.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
And then when I get tired of all that, I go back to my Anthony Bourdain book. And then when I get tired of that, when I need a nonfiction, I do George Orwell's Why I Write. And that's a tiny little, I mean, it's probably 80 pages, but there are books like that where I really take my time with it because I'm underlining, I'm highlighting, I'm taking notes, I'm annotating.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Even if it's an 80-page book, I'm not blasting through it. I love Orwell, and I want to spend time with these precious words that he's left us with. And he was a realist. He was a pragmatist, pragmatist, where he fully saw the world around him for what it was. And he goes into detail about, I think I talked about this a few episodes ago, where He has a theory on why authors write. Is it selfish?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Is it for artistic purposes? Is it for political purposes? And his, he realized after his time in the war and after, you know, the 1930s, how could he write anything that was not directly related back to the political sphere? Everything in this life is political. Your existence is political. And he fully wove that in to everything he wrote.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
And the way that he describes it in this little book is like, I can't help it. There's nothing else I really want to write about. And any artistic impulses he might have, he used those, you know, in tandem with the political writing that he did. So... Yeah, you know, I don't want to rush through a book like that. It's not just like reading someone's memoir.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
When we're talking about it, you know, because you can go see a musical or a play or whatever, and you can be like, oh, that's good, and then move on with your day.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
It's reading the reasoning why they did what they did. And for me, what really interests me is the reason why they made their art in that way. Oh, there's nothing more interesting. Like, you can read Animal Farm, you can read 1984, and sure, 1984 is a ripoff of this and whatever.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Maybe Animal Farm is his only original piece of writing, original in the sense of the idea is completely his, and it's not a reimagination of something else he read. And maybe that's a lie. Maybe that's not true.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
But as I know it right now, Animal Farm was the first of its kind to be in a commercially successful way an allegory to revolution, the Russian Revolution, and to the effects of fascism in real time. To put it in a way and terms that the average person can understand. Because fascism, the rise of fascism, and...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
when you're in a fascist nation, looking around and thinking, how the fuck did we get here? He details it pretty perfectly and pretty precisely in Animal Farm. And there's a reason it's still around and studied today. And to get inside the mind, what a blessing he left us with to get inside the mind.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
When it's a piece of art that you have to dissect and be like, oh, well, I thought this, oh, that's actually, go back and forth, this is what I interpreted it to mean, and then, you know, you Google it and look it up, and it's like, oh, it actually was, that's what art, that's what's fun about art. So Streetcar Named Desire is about...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Of the person who wrote Animal Farm and his worldview, his perspective, his lived experience and how he interpreted those and converted them into words and not just words, but into artful prose. that is digestible. That's hard. It's hard. And in this book, he says something like, you know, first world problem. He said, there is nothing harder than being an author.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
I wouldn't wish this on anyone else, but I have to do it. He said some dramatic bullshit like that. I was like, okay, well, and then I was like, I kind of get it. I kind of get it because what he managed to do is hard and he did it well. And I know, you know, any piece of art, any piece of literature deserves criticism. And he's not insulated from criticism. And there were things wrong with him.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Of course, all these things are true. And at the same time, every artist is unique in the sense that only they could have written what they wrote. And I'm really a fan of his works. So I read that when I'm done with... When I can't do anymore, he put his cock in my, okay. When I need a break from that, I go back to why I write. But anyway, I got this book recently too called Monsters.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
And it's about, can we, in the black and white world we live in, separate the art from the artist? It's the age-old question. Is art made by a horrible person, is good art, great art made by a horrible person, ethically good to consume? Is it okay to like art by a shitty person? And I don't have an answer. Let me read this book and get back to you on that.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
I think the answer is going to be, eh, who's to say? But this book is highly recommended. I've seen it on TikTok and people were talking about it. And I actually bought it in London. We went into this cute little bookstore. It's called the London Review Bookshop. And we went in and they don't call it nonfiction in the UK. I don't know what they call it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
84: Started My Period in Churchill’s War Room
Because I was looking, I was like, where's the fact that the nonfiction section doesn't exist? I think it was just downstairs in this little bookshop. And it was like in the psychology area or something like that. Or like current affairs. I don't know. Anyway, very excited to read that because I don't have an answer. I don't know. And I struggle with it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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And I'm sure a lot of fangirls do as well, where when someone's art has impacted you in a way that has completely changed the cellular makeup of your mind and of who you are, and in a good way, you know, in a positive way, in a identifiable way, what do you do if that person DMs a minor? What do you do if that person turns out to be racist or sexist or gross? What do you do?
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To put it short and simple, in my opinion, a woman's descent into madness, honestly. Which, oh my god, could I write a fucking thesis on it? Plays or media that center around that, you know, something like The Bell Jar or anything by Virginia Woolf or anything where it's like, it actually...
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And I don't have an answer. And it sucks. And you don't want to be a defender of that person. I would never defend those actions. But here we have this piece of music or a book or a movie or a play that is just mind-blowingly good. What do you do? So I'll get back to you guys on that ethical question. Next time.
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Next time when we do ethics with Brittany Broski, we talk about the death penalty and about fucking the book Monsters. How about that? Okay, guys, I think that'll do it for me this episode. Here are my two songs of the week. First one, High Fashion by Addison Rae. Thank you. Thank you, Addison Rae. And when this album comes out, I'm sat. And when the tour is announced, I'm sat.
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Second one, Too Far Gone by Ty Myers. It's a country song, okay? Who cares? I love country music. I don't give a shit. I don't give a fuck. Okay, that's my spiel. If y'all want merch, go to broski.shop. That's all I have to say. Please go watch Royal Court. We have a new episode with Coleman Domingo, who I fucking love. Love Coleman Domingo. Go watch Royal Court. Subscribe to this channel.
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Guys, we're almost at one milli. We're almost at one billion subs. We're almost at 100 billion subscribers on this channel. Please be the 101st billion. That will do it for me. I will see you guys next week. Be good and just okay. And also okay. Oh, wait, one more thing. I'm seeing Swan Lake in New York. I'm seeing Swan Lake because I'm still, I love ballet. I love ballet.
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And I do ballet stretches every morning and it makes me feel good. So here's my challenge and homework for you. Do one thing that makes you feel good today. And that doesn't mean eat like shit or indulge in an addiction. Do one thing that is good for you. Sit outside, read a book, call your mom. If that's not good for you, don't do it. Okay? If calling your mother is not good for you, don't do it.
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Do something else. Okay, love you guys, bye.
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as best as it can, captures this, and like, just listen to me, it captures this existing kernel of madness that I think is in every woman, and you only understand if you're a woman, that can be activated, and it doesn't always show up, but it's there.
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It's there. It's there. It's there.
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And it's not silly or funny. It's like true, unhinged anger and sadness. It manifests as that form of madness. Am I making sense? I feel like if you've experienced it, you've experienced it. You know, if you haven't, that's fine. Because the play is, you know, it's compelling even without that innate emotional connotation. So...
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The play is a gradual descent into that state where the characters are described and portrayed as so gray. And what I mean by that is in life, especially online, people want to see the world as black or white, good or evil, right or wrong. That is not how the world works. And it's best, it's best you start believing it. You best start believing in ghosts. What is it? Fairy tales, Miss Turner.
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You're in one. Like the quicker you realize that the world is not so simple, I'm not going to say the easier, but you have a wider palette of colors to paint the world with. Do you know what I mean? So this play, from the beginning to the end, there is not one character where you're like, oh, well, she was my favorite. She's right. Or he did nothing wrong or whatever.
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That is such an interesting, especially in this age of bullshit Marvel movies and all that. I love Marvel, okay? Iron Man 2, one of my favorite movies of all time. But those stories are based on this concrete evidence and understanding that here is a hero. This is a hero. And there's no hero in Streetcar Named Desire. To give you a short summary of the play, There is a sister dynamic, okay?
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There's a sister named Blanche and a sister named Stella. Stella is married to Stanley. Stanley is Paul Meskel. Stella and Stanley live in New Orleans. They have their happy little life. They're married. It's very lustful, okay? They're always fucking, and they're always with his friends, and it's a very domestic life.
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I was in London, weren't I? I was in London and I was at the premiere of Mickey 17. Mickey, I so love him. Robert Pattinson. Hello, darling. We had a fucking laugh.
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Well, Blanche, Blanche Dubois, she's the sort of unhinged sister, just could never really figure out what she was going to do, is kind of a spinster, you know, never was married, is a little bit too old now, like in her late 30s, maybe, to get married. She's not a fresh spring chicken anymore. And in this time period, beauty is currency, you know, and being a young woman
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untouched woman, that's a form of currency, the highest form of currency. You know, you talk about the ceiling, the glass ceiling, there's not much room to grow as a woman in this time period. So you either become a secretary, become a nurse, or get married. There is no form of protection or independence for a woman like Blanche Dubois, and she knows it.
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And she is very vain, because of course she is. It's how you move through the world in that time period. So She's kind of down on her luck. You come to find out all these things about her, the ways that she has made money, maybe not so glamorous ways, the reputation she had in the town that she left.
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She used to be a teacher who made some less than impressive decisions when it came to her students. And she got kicked out of town. And you come to find that out. But the way that she presents herself is this very, you know, she shows up with a suitcase full of diamonds and furs. And, oh, I could never do that. Haven't you got a cigarette? Haven't you got this? Oh, my.
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You know, very almost entitled where she is living. outside of her means, but not really. It's this double think of she's fully aware of the realistic state of her situation. She's been kicked out of her town. She has no place to live. She has no money. She's defaulted on loans. She's in debt. And so she's running to her sister's house for help.
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Well, her sister, you know, welcomes her with open arms and, oh, Stanley, you know, my husband, this is my sister Blanche. You know, it's so exciting. We can have a sleepover. Well, as you can expect, She overstays her welcome eventually. Stanley starts getting pissed the fuck off. And all these characters have shades to them. Stella is a victim of domestic abuse.
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Stanley is a perpetrator of domestic abuse. But they both ignore the reality of... We're letting this happen. Blanche, as an outsider, comes in and sees that. And she's like, what the fuck, Stella? Leave him. She's like, I can't fucking leave him. And guess what? She's pregnant. So all this stuff is happening. Blanche... is being a squatter, essentially.
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Yeah, guys, I was in London. And I don't really have... Hey, did I meet Robert Pattinson and Steven Yeun? Yeah. And am I okay? No. No. No. But is it just, you know, this is the life, hold on tight.
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Stanley is just a toxic, hyper-masculine male. And Stella, I think, is the real victim in the whole story because she just loves her husband and he's not a good man. And does that make her an ignorant woman or does that make her a victim of her situation? Because in Blanche's mind, it's like, we'll leave. Just leave. And Stella's like, I fucking can't. So just shut the fuck up.
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I don't want to talk about this anymore. Like, that's the situation. Oh, the dialogue is so good. So this is the reality we find ourselves in. Well, things happen. You know, the web begins to become spun. And towards the end, Stanley plays puppet master and he gets Blanche taken away by doctors and And it was the most harrowing scene. And it was done so well.
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And Paul Meskel is so scary in this play. And that is such an impressive feat. to distance yourself from how you're known publicly, to fully embody this character. He was doing an American accent. All of them did American accents in the play. I don't think any of them were American. And it was, I could not take my eyes off of him. But let me tell you something else.
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Patsy Farren played Blanche Dubois in this version that we saw. When I tell you, she tore. She carried that fucking play. Paul Meskel, you're great. She's the best, right? I was blown away. Me and Stanley could not sing her praises more. We were like... I was fully just enraptured by her performance.
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And she had this sort of manic way of speaking where she was, you know, and she would get way ahead of herself and talk really fast. And then she would try to distract you from what she just said because it was kind of incriminating. And she would go over here and, oh, and if you could get me a Coke with lemon and ice, I'd really appreciate it. It was amazing.
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And what we also found out is she's in Mickey 17. She's in the movie that we just went to the premiere. And she plays a sort of supporting character who's British and is kind of the crux of the whole movie, not to spoil anything, but she, her character is very important. Yeah. Stanley was like, she looks familiar. She looks like the girl from Mickey's Empty. And I was like, no.
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And then we looked at the name and I was like, oh my God, it is. She was brilliant in this play. I Throughout the play, towards the end, I'm not spoiling anything. This play has been published for almost 100 years. She gets taken away by, you know, psychiatrists, by doctors, at the request of Stanley. Stanley, Paul Meskel's character, orchestrates this whole thing where he's had enough.
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That's how I feel lately. And this is the dream, it's all I need.
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He recognizes fully the reality of the situation, that Blanche is taking advantage of them, and He finds out all this tea on her. You know, you got kicked out of your school for sleeping with a student. You turned into a prostitute to make your way until that didn't work out. You got kicked out of town, this, that, and the other. I know about you, Blanche. I know about you.
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So get the fuck out of my house. I'm not going to be this halfway house for you because you are making decisions that are putting you in this situation. So get the fuck out and figure it out. And so towards the end, this is what I'm talking about, where no one's right. Okay, Stanley's a woman beater. And now he's kicking out this woman who's down on her luck. And is it her fault? Yeah, kind of.
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She made some decisions that were shit. But Blanche, in her reality, she has nowhere else to go. So of course you go to your sister. That's your family. She has no other surviving family. She has no children, no husband. She's late 30s, unmarried. There's no... And she is a self-sabotager. And you feel bad for her because... She did it to herself, and she doesn't want to live like that.
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I feel like Hannah Montana sometimes. So yeah, I was just in London and I was supposed to only be there for like less than 72 hours for the Mickey 17 premiere. But I ended up extending because someone who we all might know in Broski Nation was in a play. And that's going to be Paul Maskell. And he was going to be in a little production called Streetcar Named Desire.
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You know, she thinks that she's Miss Astor. Miss Astor was a rich socialite who's on the Titanic, okay? Think like Rockefeller, Carnegie, that sort of, you know, Miss Astor. She thinks she's that, and she's not. And she knows it, but she won't admit it. But Stanley sees that, okay? Oh, their dynamic is fucking great! And the dynamic between sisters, Oh, my God.
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It was just, I could not tear my eyes away. I cried. There were some funny parts. Patsy Farren is just, oh, my God. I have chills thinking about it. So, towards the end of the play, she gets taken away, and they actually take her through the audience. So, the spotlight comes on the little walkway, whatever.
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And I literally, I wish there had been a camera on me and Stanley, my friend Stanley in the audience, because we were... Oh, it was so, wow. So, cannot recommend it enough. They're taking it to New York. If you have the means, but I know this is so obviously like, duh, but if you are on the East Coast in the next two months, try to make your way to go see this play. It was fantastic.
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When you think of cities like Rome, Paris, London, Shanghai, all of these cities are centuries old. And by that, I mean like 1200s is around the time where we started to recognize it as the city that we know it as today. You know what I mean? Especially... When you think of Rome or London as cities that were under the Roman Empire, like old as fuck. I was in London recently.
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We went into a building that had been there since 1066. That shit does not exist in America. So it's hard to compare. You know, culturally speaking, the things that determine why there is a cultural practice, like Ireland has such a deep, rich history that goes back so long. A language, you know, all these things. America doesn't really have that.
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I love it. I love it, y'all.
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And while we have distinct characteristics and features, I wouldn't say that there's one universal American culture. Correct me if I'm wrong, right? I probably am wrong. But the beautiful thing about America is it's a melting pot.
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of cultures from all over the world it's the american dream right anyone can come to america and become an american and and whatever whatever that means freedom to do x y and z but in in that you know especially with a history of slavery that is really not that far removed and and arguably you know slavery still exists in america today in the prison system whole other conversation
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This sort of context makes conversations like these around language specifically, to bring it back to language, very, very interesting to me because it was an attempt to Americanize but not fully let go of that culture. And so you're left with this cool half and half, you know, where you get capiche and regionally that's understood as the same or a similar meaning to non capisco. Non capisco.
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Non capisco. in Italy. So it's very... I love stuff like that, especially, I think, the biggest... And coolest example in my eyes is the whole city of New Orleans or just Louisiana in general. So many different countries have colonized or put their flags into the state of Louisiana. And what comes from that is such an interesting blend of culture.
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Welcome back to the Brodsky Report. This week, we are actually time traveling, okay? Because if you're watching this right now, I am in Italy. If you're listening to this right now as of the week of March 10th, I'm actually in Italy. So if you see me in Italy, mind of my business, I'm actually gonna be with my family. So we're doing a family vacation to Rome.
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When you walk down the street on Bourbon Street, that is not... While it's funny that people get drunk and It's a drinking street, the same way Sixth Street is in Austin. Bourbon is actually from the Bourbon dynasty, which was the Spanish monarch, right? Bourbon dynasty or Spanish or French dynasty. Bourbon, France.
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The House of Bourbon was a royal dynasty that ruled France, Spain, Naples, Sicily, and Parma. I'm so smart. They were one of the most important ruling dynasties in Europe. The Bourbon dynasty originated in France in the 16th century as a branch of the Capetian dynasty. The dynasty's name comes from the Bourbon region of France. The Bourbons also ruled Navarre in Spain. So when you think of this
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especially as cities and tourist destinations that we know today, this really isn't that long ago. You know what I mean? Like their rule in France ended in 1848. So when you talk about Bourbon Street, it's interesting because this is the French Bourbon dynasty, but it'll say Calle de Bourbon, Bourbon Street. It's in Spanish.
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I love that shit. History's all around you if you know where to look. History's everywhere if you just have a researcher's eye. Nuts. Yeah, I thought that was really, really interesting. Okay, so... I had some stuff that I wanted to Google with you guys because what would a Broski Report episode be without me Googling shit that I don't know?
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How do birds know when it's night-night time? How do birds know when it's time to go night-night? Like, they stop chirping and they rise with the early dawn. Now, I know that nature is wonderful and beautiful and magical and symmetrical and everything is for a purpose and everything exists in harmony and balance, right? Why do birds not chirp when time go night-night?
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Why don't birds sing at night? Bird bot. Should we hit birdbot.com? Bird forum. What time do birds go sleep and stop singing? Welcome to Bird Forum, the internet's largest birding community with thousands of members from all over the world. The forums are dedicated to wild birds, birding, binoculars, and equipment, and all that goes with it. Hell fucking yeah.
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Okay, this user writes, "'Hello, I am from Poland. "'I need to record the sound of a stream in a forest.' Since I need pure sound of falling water without birds in the background, I'd like to know, what hour do birds stop singing? I do not want to go to a forest at night, so maybe birds stop singing in the evening when it's light. Thanks in advance for your answer.
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Now, someone replied and said, it depends on the species. Duh! Right? Hey, everyone knows that. Some songbirds, especially during the breeding season, sing well into the night. Others, particularly hole nesters, generally, I'll show you a hole nester, generally stop singing long before dark. Most owls, of course, sing mainly at night. Okay, let's hit this AI overview.
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Most birds don't chirp at night because they get nervous. Most birds don't turbanite because they have performance anxiety. Okay, that makes sense. No, it's because they're primarily diurnal. What the fuck? Diurnal meaning. And how the fuck do you say that? Diurnal. Diurnal. I have diurnal about once a week. I have diurnal after I eat spicy food.
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Speaking of which, I had some of the worst stomach cramps I've ever had in my fucking life about two nights ago. I mean, I was up at 4 a.m., heating pad on my stomach, took a Tylenol. I was doing breathing exercises. I couldn't stand up straight. I've never had that happen to me in my life. And what did I eat that night? Spicy chicken.
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We're actually doing the Orient Express, which is super fun. I have never, ever, never in a million years did I think I would be on the Orient Express. So it's really fun because me and my dad love trains. Me and my dad and my brother love trains. So naturally, we're going to be doing the Orient Express into Rome or into Verona, actually.
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And when I had Googled it and I said, what the fuck's wrong with me? Why is my upper abdomen cramping? They said, well, it could be two things. One, you ate spicy food. Two, it's stomach cancer. And I said, well, time will tell. Luckily, I think I just had a diurnal. Okay. I had to go to the turtlet and have diurnal.
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And Kyle Gordon's going on tour and he's coming to LA. Yeah, you bet your fucking ass I'm going to that show. I wouldn't miss a Kyle Gordon show for the life of me. We are young. Hey, he's so fucking funny. Diurnal. Of or during the day. Diurnal. Diurnal. Why don't birds sing at night? Because they are of or during the day. Meaning they are active during the day.
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Sometimes I think back to elementary school or whenever the fuck I was in class. And when teachers were like, don't ask me, ask a friend. I get it. Because that was as simple, if I would have just kept reading one more sentence, I would have answered my own question. Instead of stopping every time I'm like, what that mean? Just spit everywhere, by the way. What dat mean? I Google it.
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And then context clues are a beautiful thing. Don't ask me, ask a friend. Before you ask me, make sure you've asked two friends. They were serious about that shit too, and I get it. Oh my God, if I was a teacher, I would shoot my kids with water guns. Sorry, that sentence started way different than you probably thought it was going somewhere. I would shoot my kids with water guns.
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If you raise your hand and ask me a stupid question, boom. Water to the face. Okay? Now sit down, use your resources, and if you really can't figure it out, ask me again. Right? It's harmless. If you stand up, okay, what does diurnal mean? Because, look it up. Ask a friend. Keep reading the sentence. You know what one of my favorite parts of history class was?
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Was getting into... And this is when I realized, okay, learning can be fun. It's the fucking tea, girl. When the royals would fight. Or like any story of revolution. When I learned about the... French Revolution, when we learned about the French Revolution, I was like, this is tea.
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Okay, why is no one talking about the fact that the French Revolution was literally fucking tea? Um, no, Queen. That's actually going to be the American Revolution because they threw tea in the harbor.
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And then we're taking a car to Rome and then we're going to, I'm going to live my Red Rising fantasy. Okay, my Greco-Roman Hellenistic futurism fantasy, okay? all in this little nugget up here. Because life is something that, stay with me, life is what you imagine it to be. Life is what I've created up here. And what I've chosen to see up here when I go to Rome, Italy, is Red Rising, okay?
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Sometimes I see a vision of my true self and she's floating somewhere up high and she is a vision of golden light. Yet she is shackled by her wrists and her ankles to this version of me. She's trying to get away and she's shackled and weighed down by iron chains of this version of me. where I'm sitting on this podcast like, okay, why was the French Revolution low-key tea?
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Hey, there's a fire in our soul. This episode is sponsored by PDS Debt. Feeling buried under credit card bills, personal loans, or medical debt? It's like your money's working harder for your lenders than it is for you. But it doesn't have to be that way with PDS Debt. PDS Debt does more than just help you manage your debt. They empower you to take control.
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Go to pdsdebt.com slash Broski to complete your free debt assessment to see what options are available to you. Every day you wait, it's costing you money. Get started with your free debt analysis in just 30 seconds at pdsdebt.com slash Broski. That's pdsdebt.com slash Broski. Take back control today by visiting pdsdebt.com slash Broski. This episode is sponsored by Shopify.
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When you think about businesses that are selling through the roof, sure, you think about a great product, a cool brand, and brilliant marketing, but an often overlooked secret is actually the businesses behind the business, making selling, and for shoppers, buying, simple. For millions of businesses, that business is Shopify.
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Nobody does selling better than Shopify, home of the number one checkout on the planet and the not so secret secret with shop pay that boosts conversions up to 50%, meaning way less carts go abandoned and way more sales on the books.
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So if you're into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling, on the web, in your store, in their feed, and everywhere in between. Businesses that sell more sell on Shopify. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout Allo uses. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash broski, all lowercase.
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Go to Shopify.com slash broski to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com slash broski. You guys are not paying attention. If you, everyone clap three times. Okay, and if you didn't clap, do it with me now. One, two, three. Get up. Pay attention. You've been slacking off. We're learning about why birds don't sing at night. And say it with me because they are diurnal. Diurnal.
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because the Google pronunciation always says it's so fucking sensual. Diurnal. Meaning they are active during the day and sleep at night. So their singing behavior is mostly concentrated around dawn and dusk when they are most active in searching for food and mates. However, a few species are nocturnal and will vocalize at night, like owls and whippoorwills.
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No, I thought a whippoorwill was a tree. Am I? Whip or will? It's a bird.
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Eastern Whippoorwill. Whippoorwill. Now, why the fuck is it named that? Whippoorwill got its name from The Mail's Familiar Call, a three-note series that sounds like it's wailing. Whippoorwill. Oh. Global warming threatens the birds we love. Okay, this is from fucking Facebook. Okay, enough about that. I want to look up, is there a name for the English spoken by Italian immigrants? Whoa. Siculish?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Siculish is the macaronic Sicilianization of English language terms and phrases by immigrants from Sicily to the U.S. in the early 20th century. The term Sisulish, however, is rather recent, being first recorded in 2005. Itenglis, which is also known as Englitaliano, or in the United Kingdom, Britallian, refers to multiple hybrid terms, hybrid types of language based on Italian and English.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
It's actually going to be, what's the fucking name? It's actually going to be Phobos. Phobos, that's the moon. That's the moon that What's the one they blow up? Ganymede? The duck yards of Ganymede. Where are my Red Rising bitches at? Guys, Cassius Albalona's razor master class. Razor master course, steel sharpens steel. You guys don't get Red Rising the way I do. Holy shit.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Or brunch from breakfast and lunch. Podcast is a portmanteau, a made-up word coined from a combination of the words iPod and broadcast. No way! iPod and broadcast. Don't ever tell me you don't learn something from this podcast. Damn, is portmanteau a French word? Yes, the word portmanteau comes from the French words porter, to carry, and manteau, cloak.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
It originally referred to a suitcase with two compartments for carrying coats and other clothing. Is Netflix a portmanteau? Internet and flicks. Yes! Is ginormous a portmanteau? Yes, gigantic and enormous, ginormous. Turkey duck chicken, turducken, is cheeseburger a portmanteau? Burger can produce a word referring to seemingly any noun between two halves of a round bun.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Bacon burger, black burger, turkey burger. In fact, it's so liberated from the original word hamburger that it's also a word in its own right. Is Velcro a portmanteau? Velcro was developed as a portmanteau of the French words velours, or velvet, and crochet, or hook. Oh, this is crazy. This is absolutely crazy, man. Okay, I wonder what it's called. What is Italian English called on the East Coast?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Oh, just American Italian. While Italian English is widely used, there isn't a single universally accepted term for this dialect. The specific Italian-influenced English spoke on the East Coast can vary depending on the region, with New York and New Jersey having notable differences.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Linguists sometimes use the term ethnolect to describe a variety of English spoken by a specific ethnic group, which applies to Italian English. How cool. How capicola became gabagool, the Italian New Jersey accent explained. Mozzarella became something like mozzarella. ricotta became rigote, prosciutto became prosciutto. There's a mangling of the language in an instantly identifiable way.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
I love this. My heart just started racing. I love this shit, dude. I need to go back to school. Final syllables are deleted. Certain consonants are swapped with others. Certain vowels are mutated in certain places. Most immigrant groups in the US retain certain words and phrases from the old language, even if the modern population can't speak it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
But for people outside those groups and even often inside them, it's next to impossible to pick out a specific regional accent in the way a Jewish American says chala or a Korean American says jjigae. How can someone who doesn't speak the language possibly have a regional accent? Yet Italian-Americans do. It's even been parodied.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
On an episode of Kroll Show, comedian Nick Kroll's character, Bobby Bottleservice, a Mike-the-situation Sorrentino type, describes his lunch in this thick accent, eliminating the final syllable of each item. Capicol, he says, pointing at capicola. Mortadella, he says, as the camera pans over a thin, pale arrangement of mortadella. Coca-col, he finishes, as the camera moves over to a glass of Coke.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Capicola, made famous in its mutation by the Sopranos, gets even more mutated for comedic effect on The Office, where it becomes Gabagool.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Okay, that is sort of my mindset going into my Italy trip. Of course, yes, I'm going to soak up all of the history. However, it's a bit tainted right now because a lot of my past year has been consumed by genuinely, and I don't mean this is like, are you on TikTok? I've been thinking about the Roman Empire a lot. I watch a lot of National Geographic YouTube specials on the Roman Empire.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
I spoke to a few, okay, this is also from atlasobscura.com, which I fucking love Atlas Obscura. If you ever are visiting a new city and you want something weird or fun or silly to do, go to atlasobscura.com. They'll give you the recommendations for like the best museums. I just realized how fast I'm speaking.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
and how speaking any language is a feat of... Sorry, I'm like having an existential moment right now, if you guys don't mind. Like language and how fucking different language is anywhere you go. And you wanna know something I learned in my sociology class way, way back when? I took it in a college summer course in like 2017.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
One shared commonality amongst every single culture on this planet is not what you would think it is, which is language or sayings or phrases or metaphors. It's not that. It is funeral rites. In every single culture, we have a practice for how we honor the dead. Isn't that beautiful? Okay, going back. Yeah, dude, this shit makes me like, I'm like up here looking down.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Damn, the liquid IV is talking to me. Hold on, it's whispering to me. Hold on, I'm getting messages from the gods. One second. Okay, I'll tell them. I think that humans are divine creatures and at the same time, very of the earth. My heart's beating 175 beats per second.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
I think that humans are so intriguing and it makes it even more sad and barbaric that we are so violent towards each other, that we have so much hate in our hearts for each other. When we serve a higher, not serve, but we are destined for a higher purpose of like achievement and progress. Like, the bounds of what the human mind can create, we won't know because we're too busy being racist. Anyway.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
I spoke to a few linguists and experts on Italian-American culture, anyway, gabagool, to figure out why a kid from Patterson, New Jersey, who doesn't speak Italian, would earnestly ask for a taste of mozzarella. The answer takes us way back through history and deep into the completely chaotic world of Italian linguistics.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
One thing that I need to tell you, because this is something that is not clear even for linguists, let alone the layperson, the linguistic situation in Italy is quite complicated, says Maria Paola D'Imperio, a professor in the linguistics department at Aix-Marcel University, who was born in Naples and studied in Ohio before moving to France. Crazy.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
The situation is so complicated that the terms used to describe pockets of language are not widely agreed upon. Some use language, some use dialect, some use accent, and some use variation. Linguists like to argue about the terminology of this kind of thing. The basic story is this.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Italy is a very young country made up of many very old kingdoms, awkwardly stapled together to make a patchwork whole. Before 1861, these different kingdoms, Sardinia, Rome, Tuscany, Venice, Sicily, they were called different things at the time, but roughly correspond to those regions now. Those were basically different countries.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Its citizens didn't speak the same language, didn't identify as countrymen, sometimes were even at war with each other. The country was unified over the period from around 1861 until World War I, and during that period, the wealthier northern parts of the newly constructed Italy imposed unfair taxes and basically annexed the poorer southern parts.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
As a result, southern Italians, ranging from just south of Rome all the way down to Sicily, fled in huge numbers to other countries, including the United States. About 80% of Italian Americans are of southern Italian descent. That's crazy! About 80% of Italian-Americans are of Southern Italian descent, says Fred Gardafi, a professor of Italian-American studies at Queens College.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Ships from Palermo went to New Orleans, and the ships from Genoa and Naples went to New York. They spread from there, but the richest pockets of Italian-Americans aren't far from New York City. They're clustered in New York City, Long Island, New Jersey, Rhode Island, Connecticut, and in and around Philadelphia.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Yet those Italians, all from southern Italy and all recent immigrants in close proximity to each other in the U.S., wouldn't necessarily consider themselves countrymen. That's because each of the old Italian kingdoms had their own, well, d'imperio, who is Italian, calls them dialects. But others refer to them in different ways.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Basically, the old Italian kingdoms each spoke their own languages that largely came from the same family tree. Slightly, but not all that much closer than the Romance languages. French, Spanish, Portuguese. The general family name for these languages is Italo-Dalmatian. Dalmatian. It's probably not Dalmatian. Dalmatian, it turns out, refers to Croatia. The dog is from there too.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Not even the Roman Empire. I watched one last night about the fall of... ancient empires. So we discussed the Persian Empire. We discussed Egypt. We discussed how there was at one point in history, Egyptian and Greek cultures kind of lived simultaneously. And while I say simultaneously, I don't necessarily mean peacefully, okay?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
They were not all mutually comprehensible and had their own external influences. Calabrian, for example, is heavily influenced by Greek. I love this shit! Just yelled so loud, it bounced off the metal in here. And it was like this shing after I did that. Damn. Studying sociolinguistics off the liquid IV pineapple yuzu energy drink.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
When you start tweaking so bad, you start studying sociolinguistics? Like? Calabrian, for example, is heavily influenced by Greek, thanks to a long Greek occupation and interchange. In the Northwest, near the border with France, Piedmont, with its capital of Turin, spoke a language called Piedmontese, which is sort of French-ish.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Sicilian, very close to North Africa, had a lot of Arabic qualities to it. I use the past tense for these because these languages are dying quickly. Dialects do still exist, but they're spoken mainly by old people, says D'Imperio. Sicilian put up more of a fight than most.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
During unification, the northern Italian powers decided that having a country that speaks about a dozen different languages would pose a bit of a challenge to their efforts, so they picked one and called it Standard Italian and made everyone learn it. The one that they picked was Tuscan, and they probably picked it because it was the language of Dante, the most famous Italian writer.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
You can see why calling these languages dialects is tricky. Standard Italian is just one more dialect, not the base language, which Calabrian or Piedmontese riffs on, which is kind of the implication. That is nuts! Yeah, it really is that. I mean, English is English because some king was like, and now everybody's going to speak English. But I don't give a fuck. Okay?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
And now, as of right now, everyone speaks English because that's what I speak. And everyone was like, fine. Well, actually, they weren't like, oh, fine. It's either succumb or die. So. Standard Italian has variations like any other language, which we'll call accents. Someone from Sicily would have a Sicilian accent.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
But when speaking standard Italian, a person from Milan will hopefully be able to understand them because at a basic level, they'll be using a language with the same structure and a vocab that is mostly identical. Yeah, we know that.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
But this gets weird because most Italian Americans can trace their immigrant ancestors back to that time between 1861 and World War I, when the vast majority of Italians, such as Italy even existed at the time, wouldn't have spoken the same language at all. And hardly any of them would be speaking the Northern Italian dialect that would eventually become standard Italian.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Linguists say that there are two trajectories for a language divorced from its place of origin. I need to... Linguistics studies near me. If I enroll myself in University of California, Long Beach to study linguistics and I can't do the podcast for like six months, you guys gonna be mad at me? My semester starts soon. Okay? I can't keep up the podcast and study sociolinguistics.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
I'm gonna look into that. Do people even give a fuck about an associate's degree anymore? If I get an associate's degree in linguistics... I think it's also, there are so many different ways you can study linguistics of like, obviously you can just learn a new language, which I remember this and I was like, what the fuck?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
When I was in college, one of my Spanish professors, who was a white dude from Ohio, spoke five languages. And he was, while he was teaching our Spanish phonetics class, he himself was studying. It was so cute. He'd be like, okay, guys, I'm not having office hours today. So just email me if you need them because I have to run to my Romanian class.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Again, I need a linguist in the corner and I need a historian in the corner to be like, ah, you're lying. And then I'll be like, and then I'll sit here in silence and I'll listen to him talk and then I'll just regurgitate what he said. One of these days, I'm going to do that. I'm going to be like, welcome to my home, sit in the corner, and I'm just going to talk.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
That's how I feel, but I need to speak to like a college professor. I need to speak to a professor. I need to speak to a professor. I can't do office hours. I'm running late to my Romanian class. He was probably like 56. I love that. That's going to make me cry. Never stop learning. There is so, this life is so rich and fucking cool. There's so many cool things to do. We're on TikTok all day.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
I grew up speaking English and Italian dialects from my family's region of Puglia, says Gardaff. And when I went to Italy, very few people could understand me. So she grew up speaking English and Italian dialects from Puglia. Even the people in my parents' region, they recognized that I was speaking as if I was a 70-year-old man when I was only 26 years old.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Italian American Italian is not at all like standard Italian. Instead, it's a construction of the frozen shards left over from languages that don't even really exist in Italy anymore, with minimal intervention from modern Italian. That is crazy! Y'all don't even give a fuck how crazy that is! You know what?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
To sort of contextualize this sort of phenomenon in America, the Southern dialects are dying. Southern dialects are a direct – you can trace them back to the English settlers who came once the colonies were set up. And there is a very clear connection between the sort of high society British receive pronunciation to when you get down to the South, it's a little complicated.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
similar in terms of vowels and the lilt to it. It's a very clear... I'm about to say this word, but I don't mean it. De-evolution of the English language. Okay, I don't mean that in a negative sense, but more so just like this change. It was morphed and molded into something way different because of a similar thing like this, where all these different people from...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
And if you find any incorrect information or I misspeak maybe, then just go ahead and jump in and correct me. If anyone knows any historians, send them my way because I'd like to employ them for a day on one of these podcast episodes.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
different backgrounds and if you've been in America for longer at the time and you're hearing that all day you'll lose your accent I mean it happens to everyone but there used to be this guy I followed on TikTok and I wish I could remember his name where he was from Mississippi and he was probably 24 and he was raised by his grandparents and so when you think about that his grandparents were probably in their late 70s early 80s and that means they were born in the 40s uh
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
And grew up in the 50s, 60s, and maybe even early 70s. Now, when you think about the deep South in America... An accent like that, surely you would think is preserved, and there are still those small towns where everyone sounds like that. And it is true to a certain extent, but it's definitely dying out with our grandparents' generation.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
And it kind of makes me sad, but at the same time, there are so many fucking horrific worldviews that come with that accent. It's just like, okay. But he was saying that his accent and his grandparents' accents are classified as an endangered regional dialect. And it is... in like historical, he did some work with some historical society in Mississippi.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
I believe it was Mississippi where he went in and like recorded some of just him speaking or reading certain lines. And it's to preserve that dialect, which is so fun and cool that we have that technology now. Because imagine, I mean, when you get those videos on TikTok or YouTube or whatever of like, this is what so-and-so sounded like and, 1891.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
I love that shit and it's so rare and I don't know if it's, you know, to be trusted or not. I digress. But the fact that we have the forethought to do that now of like, we recognize that First of all, small town America is dying. Everything is becoming big. And with the introduction of things like, you know, Amazon and all these things, the reliance on a community or a small town is dying.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
It's going away. And there are two sides of that, you know, where we're more connected than we've ever been. And the other side of that is we do not rely on community at all. I mean, not even closely to the way that my grandparents did when they were growing up. So I've talked about that on this podcast before of like, you know, I don't know my neighbors, shit like that.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Anyway, I thought it would be fun to sort of deep dive into some, I'm going to practice some Italian sayings and phrases because recently, as we all know, I had this little stint where I said I was going to learn French. Okay, now ask me if I've gotten anywhere on there. No, I have not made any progress on my French. So, oh, I forgot to tell you what I'm sipping on today.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Anyway, that accent, the fact that even in America, one of the youngest countries, we have accents that are dying out is just very, it makes me sad, right? But at the same time, As those die out, new accents are evolving. And while it sounds funny, it's very real that this influencer accent is a real thing. And it's very closely tied to, you know, the Valley Girl accent, whatever.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Just this sort of West Coast thing. This West Coast development of... the regional dialect but yeah i've seen some people on youtube be like what is the influencer accent and uh like let's study it in an academic setting so how how things are always happening things people always happening Now, how the fuck did I get on this when I was Googling, why don't birds sing at night?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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Like, are you serious? Okay, I'm going to pause and we'll come back next week and I'm going to finish my Google searches. But in the meantime, I wanted to update y'all on, I started a new book that is, me and Drew are book clubbing. Thank you. Thank you. We're book clubbing this fucking Viking smut book.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Yeah, dude. It's called from fucking ash and until the dawn. This episode is sponsored by Rocket Money. You sign up for something, you forget about it after the trial period ends, then you're charged month after month after month. The subscriptions are there, but you're not using them. In fact, I just learned. that 85% of people have at least one paid subscription going unused each month.
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87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
It's called A Fate Inked in Blood by Danielle L. Jensen. It's a Viking book and it's not so, dude. Sometimes I get like bogged down by how much I don't know. Anyone else feel that way? Like I'm reading this book and she's talking about all these Norse gods. And I did not know that Baldur, as in Baldur's Gate 3, was a god. And it's making complete sense now that I'm thinking about it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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Baldur was a god. We know the ones like Odin and Thor and Tyr and Hlynne and all these ones. Like I've heard those before. And is the majority of it through Marvel movies? Yeah, it is. Okay, I don't give a fuck. Or is it through God of War soundtrack? Yeah, it is. Ragnarok.
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Anyway, it's shit like that where I know about it from references in pop culture, but it's this phenomenon where I only know about it through that. I'm not familiar with the original legend or tale or lore or mythology of the Norse mythology. It's more so I know only... about it through pop culture references to it. You get me? You get where I'm going?
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Here in my water, in my water bottle, in my water, is what I can only assume to be expired liquid IV that was in my pantry because I ran out of Red Bull. I ran out of Red Bull and I leave today for my trip. So I'm not going to go buy a bunch of groceries because that is wasteful.
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So, reading this book, which is clearly a fantasy book, it's, you know, fiction, very interesting. And I was intrigued in the same way by, when I read Red Rising, He had a super intense understanding, like an academic understanding, as you should, of all these Roman historical figures and military leaders and whatever, and all the gods as well.
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It was very clear that he did his research in terms of how the planets are named, like how the Roman-esque society was structured, whatever. It's very clear in this one too. And again, maybe I'm speaking out of my ass because I don't know jack shit about Norse mythology, but I'm loving it. I'm loving it so far. It's definitely giving like,
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
I'm just a girl and I have this power and I need a man to help me realize the full extent of my power. Like it's that, you know? So it's a delicate balance now when I approach a fantasy book because I've read so fucking many where it's like, I want that Aelin Galathineus, Throne of Glass, like her and Rowan Whitethorn, their balance, I've never read anything like it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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And you would think that, you know, Rhysand and Feyre from Akatar is that. No, it's a bit different because Aelin and Rowan, Rowan never, ever tried to impede or step on Aelin's freedom. Aelin made decisions for herself. Rowan respected all of those decisions. And it was never this like, you're a woman and I'm the man and I know you can do it, but I'm still going to protect you, okay?
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Even if it's not what you wanted. Like, and that's the Tamlin of it all, okay? Fuck all that. I fucking hate that dynamic. The dynamic between Aelin and Rowan, to me, is the perfect, like, it's how a relationship should be, man. It's how a relationship should be. So reading these fantasy books is fun, but I'm already kind of calling out, like, the guy is kind of older than her.
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she's the novice where like, I was just thrown into this and I have this power and these people have a use for my power. And he's the son of some like, you know, evil king, but he's good, but he's not that good. It's okay. Fine. Like, of course I'm going to finish it to the end and eat up every fucking page. Yeah. I'm going to read it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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But in terms of dynamic, I just, Throne of Glass, that Throne, the Throne of Glass series is a series that just, Stuck with me. And on that note, I need to read Game of Thrones, okay? Stanley's been up my fucking hole about reading Game of Thrones because it's like the book. It's the book. It's the fantasy series. So it's on my list. It's just like taking that on. It's so many fucking books.
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And who am I? Throne of Glass was eight books. So it's not like I can't do it. It's not like I'm not interested. And it's also, you know, with Game of Thrones, you already have a jumping off point because of the show. Like, I already have faces to, you know what I mean? It's on my infinitely to read list. Oh, my God. I read 30 books last year. How crazy is that? I read 30 books.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
That's the influencer accent.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Keep your eyes peeled. Y'all don't even, hold on. Can I just like, let me brief you guys for a second. There are a few things happening later this month, and I mean in the next two weeks, that are going to, you are going to freak the fuck out in terms of what Broski Productions is pushing out into the universe, okay? You've been warned. Know that. That's all I'm gonna say on that.
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So I had to go to my last resort. I had this capsule. I have a capsule in my pantry of emergency things if I have no food in the house. And guess what's in there? canned tuna, because I usually always have gochujang and mayonnaise in the fridge, so I will make a spicy tuna with seaweed. That's a classic lunch in the Broski household. I always have tuna. I always have butter beans.
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If you want podcast merch, go to broski.shop. And I'll leave you with that. And I will see you next week. Okay. Loving y'all. Be good. Be safe. Bye.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Great source of protein, okay? You just chop up some pepperoncinis. This is a recipe I got from Alyssa's Magic. Shout out. It's butter beans. It's pepperoncinis. or banana peppers, if you will, and a little bit of apple cider vinegar and olive oil and salt. And that's literally it. And you mix it all up, bean salad, fucking yum.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
And I keep liquid IV packets in my pantry at all times because sometimes I'm just super dehydrated. You know what I mean? I also, look, if we're talking like friends, I did a brand deal with them a while ago. They sent me a bunch of product. I'm still working through it. You know what I mean? So that is actually what's going to be in here. is their version of an energy drink, liquid IV.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
And I Googled it. Each one, each packet is 100 milligrams of caffeine. In a Red Bull, it's about 110, 120 milligrams of caffeine in the sort of 12 ounce ones. And this is my second one. Because I'm just, I'm telling y'all, I have fuckered my system. We're fuckered. I tried out this new place recently. It's not new. It's new to me. Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. That's like an LA staple.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Everyone knows about that place. I never go. I've never been. I went yesterday. I said, give me three shots of espresso with a little bit of hazelnut in it and a little bit of oat milk. And he said, sure. That shit had me jacked up. I was, I should clean my toilets. I should scrub the walls. I vacuumed every corner of my room. And, well, the reason I did that. Do you guys even give a fuck?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
I'm serious. Who gives a fuck? Who gives a fuck? Holy shit. Last night, I got my fucking vacuum because there was a big-ass spider in my bathroom. And I am the man of the house. I am the patriarch, okay? You're looking at the face. You're looking at the patriarch of the household. And that's just how it is. That's just how I've designed it to be. So yeah, I turned around. And I was also naked.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
I was naked, about to hop in the shower. Big-ass brown recluse. Naked, ran through my house, grabbed the vacuum, sucked him up. There is a graveyard of scary big spiders in my vacuum bag because... I don't want to kill it, and I don't want to smush it, because what if it's pregnant? Do spider have puss-puss? Can spider get preganart? Y'all remember those Reddit searches?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Or those, those, no, what was that, Quora? You guys don't get me. Okay, what the fuck was I about to Google, dude? Seriously?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Oh, you know what? Actually, I've been practicing this. I've been practicing this for when I'm in Italy. Ready?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
What the fuck? Anyway. Sweating under my boobs challenge.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Jesus Christ. Off the liquid IV energy pack, geeking. I had two liquid IV energy packs and now I'm geeking. Okay, here is the extent of my knowledge of Italian phrases. Ready? Buongiorno. Buongiorno. Buonasera. Arrivederci. Do they do the R-roll in Spanish? Arrivederci. Arrivederci. Arrivederci. Arrivederci. Ciao. Ciao, Ella. Per favore. Mi dispiace. How do you say, I don't understand?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Non incuso. Non... How to say, I don't understand in Italiano. Non capisco. Oh, capiche? What the fuck is capiche? Capiche? No capiche.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Capiche is an informal pseudo-Italian slang term used to ask if someone understands. It can also be used as a threat. how it's used. You must use this knowledge for good, not evil. Never for personal gain. Capisce? I'm not in the mafia. Never was. Capisce? That's, I get it. What do you think, this is a stupid question, because here's my frame of reference, right?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Actually, a lot of you young women in the comments could answer this. Also, by the way, young woman is fully encompassing, okay? As long as you're not a straight man, you're a young woman. You have the soft and gentle nature of what a young woman represents, okay? So do you know how, like, Quebecois, right? Quebec is a province in Canada. They grow up speaking French as their first language.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Correct me if I'm wrong. French and English are both, I guess, the national language. Let's Google it instead of just talking out of my house. Official language of... French. French is the official language of Quebec. Only French has that status. French is the only common language of the Quebec nation and constitutes one of the foundations of its identity and distinct culture.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Now, is that because Quebec was a French colony? Was Quebec colonized by France? Yes, Quebec was colonized by France as part of New France. France claimed the area in 1535, and it remained a French colony until 1763. Then it became a British colony known as the Province of Quebec.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Now, that makes total sense because Canada and Australia, and maybe New Zealand, are part of the British Commonwealth, okay? And was Australia a prison colony? Yes. And was Canada? No. So Quebec, they grew up speaking French. When a person from Quebec goes to France, and this is what people have told me, okay? And they speak Quebecois French, which is essentially like a, I mean, it's a dialect.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
It's a form of French. right, the way that British English is different from American English is different from Australian English, you understand. When a Quebecois person goes to France and they speak French, the French person will respond in English because it's almost like this redneck version of French to them, that it's not a purist.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
So if you're not going to speak pure, I will speak back to you in English. That is what my Canadian friends have told me. And first of all, fucked up, right? Second of all, third of all, I am trying to relate this to whatever that, and I'm sure there's a term for it. I'll Google it. That generation of Italian immigrants that came to New York, Jersey, wherever, through the ports.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
What's the famous one in New York? Ellis Island. Ellis Island in New York was the main immigration port for Italians and other immigrants there. from Europe from 1892 to 1924. That's what I'm talking about. That generation of Italian Americans, a very interesting form of English and Italian came from that group, that specific region and that specific time period.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
And I want to know, is there a word for that language, the way that Quebecois is used to refer to French spoken in Quebec? I want to know the Italian that was spoken in those early days of trying to acclimate to American culture and culture. With that and with any immigration to America comes this kind of, and I'm speaking historically, loss of culture, right? Like you abandon it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
I won't call it whitewashing. I'm going to call it like Americanizing. The Americanization of immigrants during this time period. It was almost an intentional, firsthand thing to not be... You know what I mean? And the time has changed now where, of course, culture is embraced. Or at least we're moving towards that, where it's cool to have a culture.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
Because what we're realizing is America is void of culture. And what I mean by that is... a distinct, well, actually, hold on, let's talk about this. There are aspects of American culture that are distinctly American, right? When you go to Europe, when you go to Asia, when you go anywhere and you ask a local, what do you think about Americans? Like, what is a standout quality of Americans?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
87: Gabagool & the French Revolution
A lot of them will say they're very friendly, they smile a lot, and they're loud. okay, there are worse qualities generally that Americans could be described as, and they are described as them, racist, fat, right? All those things where those are reflective of We are such a young country, truly, like in the grand scheme of things. We are such a young country.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
But it was like me and the professor locked in because he would teach them that I'd be like, well, obviously I have a question. Hey, obviously that doesn't make sense. What are you fucking talking about? Because, and I would sit there and like reason with him and not argue, but like discuss. And at one point he literally goes, I don't know. Okay. Sorry. I said, well, how can that be true?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
If he said, I don't know. I didn't, I didn't know you weren't doing questions right now. I'm so sorry about that. This poor guy, a community college professor, he goes, can I just get through the fucking lesson? I don't know. My fault. Continue. Anyway, most struggles between humans, homo sapiens, if you will, has been for power. And even when you reduce it down to like,
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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economics or religion or goods and services, whatever. It comes down to power. Who holds the power? And I remember in AP Environmental Science, my senior year of high school, was when I learned about the tragedy of the commons. right? That in nature, all things are balanced.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
There is a natural homeostasis balance to the animal kingdom, to the food chain, that when there is shared resources amongst a community, everyone only takes what they need. And Native American culture is this way. A lot of pagan cultures were this way, where you only take what you need out of preservation for your community. because it's a very community-focused and community-based environment.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Well, introducing ideas like this, where I will own the land, the resources, the people, the rights, the this, the that, the other, that introduces this new mindset of me, myself, and I, selfish. And so when I learned about the tragedy of the commons, I was like, That's so fucking true. That is so true, dude.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
And we see it, right, at the beginning of COVID when everyone bought up all the toilet paper and they were selling it for $50. What are we talking about? It's no respect for your fellow man. And then it spirals into, you know, the British Empire. So, going back to Valentine's Day. Okay. Okay.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
It's February and love is in the air all month long. Don't wait around for it to fall in your lap when you've got Tinder's first impression feature. You can now send a message before you even match, whether it's calling out their taste in music, hyping up their adventure pick, or dropping a funny line they won't forget. It's low pressure and an easy way to put yourself out there.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
you and valentine's day bitch it's valentine's day i no one really gives a fuck we don't really give a fuck that's how i feel i think oh god let me rant for a second oh god Oh, God. I know I come on this podcast, and I just hate men, okay? Not all men. Yeah, pretty much all men, okay? I think that Valentine's Day, speaking from a personal experience, speaking from a personal experience,
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
This is your month to make romance happen, and there's no better place than Tinder for all the possibilities. Whether it's meeting someone new or finding someone to share late-night memes with, Tinder makes it easier than ever. Explore all the possibilities for yourself on Tinder. It starts with a swipe. Download Tinder today. So this Valentine's Day developed during the Victorian era.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Did not know that. The history of Valentine's Day and the story of its patron saint, St. Valentine, is shrouded in mystery. We do know that February has long been celebrated as a month of romance and that St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
The Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred. One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. What?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. Oh, my God. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. Still, others insist that it was St. Valentine of Turney, a bishop who was the true namesake of the holiday. He, too, was beheaded by Claudius II outside Rome.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
And fuck Claudius II! Did y'all see my TikTok? I did a little book haul. Oh my God, I got this book called God's Bankers inside the finances of the Vatican and the Catholic Church. Oh my God! Oh, my God. Hey, I'll let y'all know about that as soon as I start it. Damn, I was walking through... There's this crazy bookstore by my house. And I was like, let me pop in here. All used books. Shout out.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Love that. And I also love that because you go through and you find bookmarks and photos and tickets and underlined sections and annotations. And it's just a magical experience. I can't really put into words anything. other than like what that experience instills in me, other than it makes me zoom out. You know, we are so navel-gazing and we're so focused on ourselves a lot of the time.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
And it goes back to what I was just talking about of we are not a community-based organization. people anymore. It's me, myself, and I. And that is so isolating and lonely. I don't know any of my neighbors. I don't know any of my neighbors. And that makes me sad. But why? Why is that the case? Why do I feel like I'm always on edge or I should be, you know, head on a swivel and whatever.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Well, I live in Los Angeles. That's probably why. Objectively dangerous place. But at the same time, my neighbors aren't dangerous people unless they have freezers full of human body parts. But how am I supposed to know that? You know what I mean? And so, yeah, I think that I love used bookstores for that reason. Because you can go in and the way that someone annotates a book or uses a book or...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
The state that it's found in, you know, was this ever even read? You can tell. So I think that all of that is part of the experience of going to a bookstore. I was getting some of these books for $5. Hell fucking yeah. Because you go to Barnes & Noble or Books A Million or any of these stores and you get books for $30. $30 for one book. That's a lot of fucking money.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
And I understand if it's a new release, if it's your favorite authors, you know, the third installment of the trilogy of the House of Blood, and I get it. But $30? I was at this bookstore, I was boom, boom, boom. I walked out with eight books. I spent 50 bucks total. That's what I'm fucking talking about!
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Okay, so... Really cute. But in this God's Bankers books, there's no annotations. And I was like, okay, okay. But in my copy, I got a copy of Clockwork Orange, a Clockwork Orange. It's annotated down. And I was like, yes, very excited about that. Also, some of y'all have told me that Clockwork Orange has its own language that I need to, it's like simlish that I need to kind of lock into.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
And so I found on google.com, I found a glossary of all the sort of translated words and terms from A Clockwork Orange. And, you know, I love reading old books like this, and it sucks doing it outside the confines of an academic environment because I'm kind of left to my own devices, which is both good and bad, right? Because I can take...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
my own takeaways or my own interpretations of what I find the text to mean, how it impacts me as an individual. But at the same time, I wish that there was this added level of like, I have to write an essay about it or I have to connect dot A to dot D, you know, like using my brain in that sort of way. And having it be graded, I do miss that aspect of it where that's a missing chunk.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
When I read a book as important as A Clockwork Orange or East of Eden or Animal Farm or Brave New World, Heart of Darkness, any of these books, it's like, I wish that... There was, like all things in life, I wish there was an instructor I could ask questions to. And I wish there was someone to grade my work. Maybe I want to go back to school.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Maybe that's what I just kind of admitted to myself there. That's cool. But you know what I mean? Where, sure, you can sit with a book and read it. You can read A Clockwork Orange on the train, but that doesn't mean you are getting from it what you should or what was intended or, you know, you might be missing the most important part.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
I think for me, I'd like to think that I have the wherewithal to read a book like that and be like, this is the meaning, you know? But even an animal farm, if I didn't have the background of this was loosely based on the Russian Revolution, then... you know, I would have been like, damn, that's a crazy book about fascism. Crazy book. Like, I still would have gotten it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
But the specific sort of, you know, this was Trotsky, this was whoever, that stuff is important to me for a contextual, complete, 100% understanding of the book that I'm reading. And I feel like I don't. I know there's actually probably study guides. And I used to use Cliff's Notes. Wait, you want to know something really cute?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
historically has been just so upsetting, right? My first ever boyfriend that I had, I had to beg him, beg him to get me flowers. And he came to pick me up. He was going to take me to a nice dinner. I got all dolled up. I spent probably three hours in that glam chair, the glam chair being my college dorm. I spent so long getting dressed. I do my makeup and I got him something.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
I have my mom's Cliff Notes pamphlets from the 80s and the 90s when she was in high school and college that are printed versions of what... I mean, I used to use Cliff's Notes in high school, the website, where it would take... Taming of the Shrew, or like the hard-ass Shakespeare to read.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
And it would break it down into synopsis by chapter, characters, important characters, their lore, what page X was on, important quotations, all that stuff. To the point, almost, they make it too easy where you don't even have to read the fucking play. You don't have to read the book. That's not the goal for me. I would like some supplemental reading material that is peer-reviewed
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
and approved to use as a study guide so i think i might do that for clockwork orange if y'all that's such a specific request if you guys have a study guide for clockwork orange send it to me okay or or put it in the comments under this youtube video let me know okay anyway valentine's What the hell? Oh, I was talking about God's Bankers. Yeah, I'm very excited to read that book.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
God's Bankers provides an exhaustive history of financial machinations at the center of the church in Rome. From the final decades of the 19th century down to Pope Francis' sincere but as yet inconclusive efforts to reform the church's labyrinthine bureaucracy. From there, Posner weaves an extraordinarily intricate tale of intrigue, corruption, and organized criminality.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
The cumulative effect of Posner's detective work is an acute sensation of disgust, along with a mix of admiration for and skepticism about Pope Francis's efforts to reform the Vatican Bank and its curial enablers. Crazy. Okay. Valentine's Day. Fuck! Fuck! Okay, so our St. Valentines were beheaded by Claudius II. Okay.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons, where they were often beaten and tortured. According to one legend, an imprisoned Valentine actually sent the first Valentine greeting himself after he fell in love with a young girl, possibly his jailer's daughter, who visited him during his confinement.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter signed, From Your Valentine, an expression that is still in use today. Oh my God, that's so sad. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories all emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and most importantly, romantic figure.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
By the Middle Ages, perhaps thanks to his reputation, Valentine would become one of the most popular saints in England and France. Some claim that the Christian church may have decided to place... It's always fucking religion. It is always religion. Others claim that the Christian church may have decided to place St.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Valentine's Feast Day in the middle of February in an effort to Christianize the pagan celebration of Lupercalia. Am I saying that right? Lupercalia. Celebrated at the Ides of February or February 15th, Lupercalia was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at a sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. They were cared for by Shakira, she-wolf, and by lupa, a wolverine, a werewolf. The priests would sacrifice a goat for fertility and a dog for purification. No.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
What? Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed the touch of the hides because it was believed to make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would each choose a name and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
And I was like, all I ask of you is just get me fucking flowers. This motherfucker, this motherfucker thought it would be funny. I'm getting mad all over again. This motherfucker thought it would be funny to get me one plush flower. And so I hop in his truck.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
What the fuck? Is romance in marriage? A new concept? I understand that marriage for the longest time was a almost political or financial union between families, right? Like the bride's father would pay the groom a dowry and the wife would now take the groom's name and become a part of... You know what I mean? Like it was a flow of... power and exchange of money for a union.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
When was romance introduced? Humans are very romantic beings. So why, when did people start marrying for love? What the fuck? This is crazy. Sometimes you look up the history of shit like this and you're like, I didn't want to know that. I'd be fine if it was just like Snoopy, Candy Graham. If it was just like Snoopy and Woodstock holding a valentine like, love you.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
That's a lot more palatable than slapping women with goat hides. What are we talking about? Lupercalia survived the initial rise of Christianity, but was outlawed as it was deemed unchristian at the end of the fifth century when Pope Galatius declared February 14, St. Valentine's Day. Damn, we've had Valentine's Day since 400 BC, 400 AD. And did I think that AD meant after death? Yeah.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
And BC means before Christ. It was not until much later, however, that the day became definitively associated with love. During the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of birds mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of Valentine's Day should be a day for romance.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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The English poet Geoffrey Chaucer was the first to record St. Valentine's Day as a day of romantic celebration in his 1375 poem, Parliament of Fowls, writing, "'For this was sent on St. Valentine's Day, when every fowl cometh there to choose his mate.'" 1375. That is nutso to me.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Valentine greetings were popular as far back as the Middle Ages, though written valentines didn't begin to appear until after 1400. Well, that makes sense because the populace was illiterate. The oldest known Valentine still in existence today was a poem written in 1415 by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Now, let me tell you something about the Tower of London. One of the most haunted fucking places in the world, probably. Some horrid, abhorrent, evil shit has gone down in the Tower of London. The greeting is now part of the manuscript collection of the British Library in London, England.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Several years later, it is believed that King Henry V hired a writer named John Lydgate to compose a Valentine note to Catherine of Eloise. Don't give a fuck. Okay, this is nuts. I had no idea that... It's been celebrated that long. Okay, let's talk about modern-day Valentines. In addition to the United States, Valentine's Day is celebrated in Canada, Mexico, the UK, France, and Australia.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
In Great Britain, Valentine's Day began to be popularly celebrated around the 17th century. By the end of the 18th century, it was common for friends and lovers of all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes. And by 1900, printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Ready-made cards were an easy way for people to express their emotions in a time when direct expression of one's feelings was discouraged. Oh my God. Cheaper postage rates also contributed to an increase in the popularity of sending Valentine's Day greetings. Americans probably began exchanging handmade Valentines in the early 1700s.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
because y'all forget I'm from Texas, I hop in his truck, derogatory, because some pickup trucks, Trumps, Trump, President Trump, if you can hear us, I get in his pickup truck, and in the passenger seat is a plush flower. And he goes, so I never have to buy you ones ever again.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Today, according to Hallmark, an estimated 145 million Valentine's Day cards are sent each year, making Valentine's Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year. More cards are sent at Christmas. Fuck you and Valentine's Day. Ah, yes, learning that... A beloved holiday is rooted in suffering. Most are. Most are. Okay?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
So when you're celebrating Valentine's Day this year, make sure to get your significant other a plush flower so you never have to buy them one ever again. Make sure that you buy them a Hallmark card. Okay? Let's get some more plastic out there in the world. Let's get some more... Some more paper with plastic embellishments on it. Okay, let's send that off. Definitely don't hand make anything.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Definitely don't, you know, pick flowers from your yard or your garden. Don't do that. Okay, let's get some more microplastics out in the environment.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. , , , , , ,, in the. P P P P P P P實 , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , a . . . .
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Fuck you and Valentine's Day, bitch! Men are so... You're... Hey, babe, you're missing the point. You're missing the point. Also, it's not like... You know what I mean? Like, I'm so sick of just accepting... Or a lot of the older women in my family being like, that's just men. They just don't get it. They don't get it. No, they get it. They just don't want to fucking do it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
No, they understand very clearly. They just don't want to do it because they don't give a fuck about you. They don't give a fuck. Plush flower. It was one of those plush flowers that's like wire inside, bendable. So I never have to buy you flowers ever again. Ah, okay. Ah, yes. Thank you.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
She loves a coffee fragrance. And I know she also likes that one by Penhaligon's called Helfeti. And I was in the airport the other day and where was I? Oh, I was in Paris. And I was in the, you know, they always have those perfume shops. I was like, let me go in here and see what's going on. They had a Penhaligon's set up because they don't have those in stores here in the States.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
I do have just qualms with Valentine's Day in general because why were we giving Valentine's to each other as children? Okay? I don't understand the significance of what a Valentine is. Or as we used to say in third and fourth grade, Valentine. Okay? Happy Valentine's Day. It's not even a major holiday. Fuck you and Valentine's Day. Anyway. Shit, girl.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
And so I went over and I smelled all of them. Those bottles are fucking beautiful. It looks like an English country house, like a country manor. And it's all themed like that, like the animal heads or the taxidermy, whatever. And all of the branding is very, you know, It's very British. British nobility, whatever. The fragrances are beautiful, though. And I smelled Helfetti. I get it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
I get it, Michelle. That one is gorgeous. But it wasn't what I thought it would be. I don't know what it was. I think... It smelled too similar to a different fragrance I had smelled or someone I know who wears a fragrance like that. And I was just like, it's not doing it for me. But on paper, all the notes are beautiful. So let me look up what that one was. And it is going to be $300. And
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
This is Halfetti by Penhaligon's. An intoxicating, mysterious fragrance. Vigorous grapefruit, oud, Levantine spice, and rose tangle in the mood light. Maybe that's what I didn't like. I don't like rose. But what's that upon the riverbank? Could it be the fabled black rose? Yeah, I don't know. It was definitely... It's deep and warm, and it's got some of that...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Like the dry down was nice, but I just, there was something in it. I was like, and here's another one. Diptyque has one called, oh, what is it called? This one, Bois Cossé. This has a note of hazelnut in it. So this one should be my favorite fragrance of all time. but it's not. I went into Diptyque and I sprayed it and it has so many beautiful notes.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
The bottle is done, but the dry down, I did end up buying it because I left the store. I was getting a gift for someone else and I left the store with it on my skin and I kept smelling it the rest of the day and I was like, I'm kind of glad I didn't get it because there's some note in it that did not, because you know, it all comes down to your pH and how it interacts with your skin specifically.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
It can smell beautiful on someone else and weird as fuck on you. And that's what happened. I think that some acid in my skin reacted with this perfume in a way that just ended up smelling like a turtlet. It smelled like a turtlet. Ecosé is French for bark. Colse means full-bodied, like the coffee aroma celebrated here. So it's coffee.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
The bottle is decorated with fine black lines inspired by the release found in bark. The irregular forms on the sleeve evoke the texture of wood. Fragrant notes. Café Arabica. So coffee, sandalwood, tonka bean. But some dude at the tea store told me it had hazelnut in it, and I think that's what I don't like because... I don't know. I don't know.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
If y'all ever smell this, let me know what you think because it's a very interesting fragrance, but it just, something was up. Another one of my favorite fragrances of all time is Vanille Antique by Byredo. If you have never, if you're looking for that perfect vanilla, and I don't mean sugary sweet vanilla, marshmallow, this, caramel, that. If you want that, go to Sol de Janeiro.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Go get the Cherosa or the traditional, you know, bum bum cream, that smell, or any of those numbers, like 71, 62, whatever. Those are great if you're looking for, like, A very topical, almost teenager-y sweet smell. Vanille antique. Mama, that's a woman. That is a woman. A woman with money. Cash. Money. It is the most beautiful vanilla fragrance I've ever smelled.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
I keep saying warm, but those are the fragrances I like, where you hug someone and you're like, God, you smell delicious. It's deep. It's depth. There's layers to it. It's not just, oh, she smells like candy. I don't want to smell like candy. I want to smell like sex in a hotel lobby. And so Vanilla Antique, it is by far the most impressive vanilla I've ever smelled.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
And you want to know someone else I love? I love his reviews. Daniel Rene. I follow him on TikTok. He came out with his own fragrance that I bought because I love him so much. And he described all these notes in it. And it sounded like Dosan mixed with something else. And I was like, I have to try this. And he's such a salesman, bitch. That was what I was like, fuck.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
You want to know something else about Valentine's Day? You get all dolled up to go to dinner, to go to an expensive dinner with your mid-ass boyfriend, to sit in the booth and eat gut-bubbling pasta and milk sauce, fettuccine alfredo. Okay, with some burnt chicken. And then you go home and have the most vanilla sex of your life.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
I spent $175 on this fragrance. Damn, I've never smelled it. I did a blind buy because I love him. And if it smells like shit, Daniel, I'm going to be pissed off. I don't believe it'll smell like shit because it's from a niche, independent fragrance house. I believe it's French, and he developed it in tandem with this company. The bottle is beautiful. I'm excited to smell it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
So if y'all want, I can give you a little review on the pod because I'm very excited about that fragrance. One of the notes in it is a vanilla cake. Okay, yeah, I'm going to lock into that because when I hear vanilla cake, that gives me some like, it's not vanilla frosting. It's got some bottom to it, right? There's a bottom in it. The fragrance has bottomed. So I'm excited to try that out.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
I'll let you guys know. I think it's called Illusio. Okay, I think that'll do it for me, team. I love y'all to goddamn death. Red Bull, I can't do the watermelon anymore. Please send me something else. Please send me something else. If y'all want merch for this beautiful, informing, informational, academic podcast... Go to broski.shop. We've got Moomoos. We've got slippers.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
We've got Broski Report merch. We've also got a restock of Moomoos. So go in right now. If you did not get a Moomoo or you ordered one and you had to wait a while for it to ship, they were all being made by hand. So they are back. They are in stock. Go get you some Moomoos and slippers. Go watch my interview show, Royal Court. We've got some psychotic guests on there.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
If you have not seen the Aaron Taylor Johnson Royal Court episode, go ahead and watch that for me. If y'all don't mind, go ahead and watch it for me. I think that'll do it for me. Love you guys. Be good. Bye.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
And then you go to bed unsatisfied because he had busted and then gone to sleep. That is Valentine's Day for the majority of American women. Okay, now some of you are being spoiled. Some of you actually have men that care about you. I don't want to hear about that. I really don't give a fuck. We really don't give a fuck. Act like it's a major holiday. Fuck you and Valentine's Day. Okay.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Yeah, I don't want to hear about that. I think the majority of women, at least for me, you know, there's not a worse feeling than laying next to someone or sitting next to someone or having someone hold your hand, and you just know in the back of your head that, like, they don't see me. Do you know what I mean? Like, this little summer fling that I had, I don't know why I keep talking.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
I'm feeling really vulnerable with you guys as of late. This little summer fling I had, I don't know. Like I'd be with him and I'd be like, I have no doubt that he enjoys my company because I'm fun to be around and I light up a room. I know this about myself. So that's not, you know, I'm not bewildered by the fact that a man wanted to be around me. Of course you fucking do.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
But it's to steal my personality, right? Because men like that who want to be entertainers, they want to be charming and likable so fucking bad, they think that latching onto a bad bitch with a stellar personality who is intensely successful, they think that just by being around me, it's going to rub off on them. Guess what, babe? It's not. Because you are deeply insecure, okay?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Good morning and welcome back, Broski Nation. It is 7.45 a.m. Hallelujah. There is what I would describe as a squadron of chickadees outside my window this morning. So if y'all hear some... Some faint, whimsical chirps from the birds. Hope you don't mind. Oh, you mind the whimsical musings of the birds outside my window this morning? Fuck you. Fuck off. Do you want to know my stem of the week?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
You don't know who the fuck you are. And you're getting a little too old for that to be cute. You know what I mean? So over the summer, I'd be laying next to him, and I remember thinking, he doesn't, like, understand. Like, he's not in tune with my emotions in the way that he thinks he is. And I don't know if he ever was, because he was such a fucking weirdo liar manipulator. I don't know.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
And there's not a worse feeling than like laying in bed next to someone and feeling alone. I have never felt more alone. I would rather be by myself than sleeping in my bed next to a man who makes me feel alone. And that's what it was. So, thought Valentine's Day, it's not even a major holiday, but I do want to read sort of the history of it. So, and we're going to go to history.com.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Red Bull, if you want to send me more Red Bull that is not watermelon Red Bull, I've been powering through these suckers for the last, what feels like 16 years. Go ahead and send me whatever Red Bull you want because look, okay, I can't do much more of this. This feels like holographic meatloaf again. I've had a watermelon Red Bull every time I've held the Broski Report for the last six months.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Red Bull, if you wouldn't mind sending me some more fuel. Shout out to Red Bull, though. Okay. Remember when I figured out the Red Bull logo was actually a bull? That was a big day for me. That was a big day in Broski Nation history. Okay. It's St. Patrick's Day. Valentine's Day is a holiday celebrated every February 14th.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Across the United States and in other places around the world, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. Who the fuck is this mysterious saint? And where did these traditions come from?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Find out about the meaning and history of Valentine's Day from the ancient Roman ritual of Lupercalia that welcomed spring to the card-giving customs of Victorian England. Why does every fucking thing go back to Victorian England? Oh my God, do you want to know something I learned recently? Okay, just pause for a second. This is not interesting at all, actually.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
This is not, like, a fact that should be shared amongst friends, but, like, I guess I care, so I'm gonna... This is my podcast. I'm gonna fucking talk about it. I'm still reading Sherlock Holmes. Okay, we get it. I was confused around the succession of the British monarchy, right? Because around the time of... Well, honestly... sort of the height of late stage British imperialism.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
So 1860s to like 1900. I mean, I know that it continues into, I know, okay? And I know that in a certain sense, it's still happening. I know that. I'm talking about a specific time period, okay? 1860s to like 1900. Queen Victoria's reign. Now, you always hear about Victorian, Victorian, or sometimes you hear about Edwardian or Georgian. And I'm always like, who the fuck?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Because, you know, there's always like George V. And then now it was Elizabeth II. But then we're up to Edward VII. It's like, who the fuck? And so I finally, I was actually sitting on my couch and I was having a conversation with Google. Because I was like, I don't want to Google this. And my phone was in the other room. And so I was talking to Google, my little speaker.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
And I was getting the information, okay? I was studying. I was doing some research. And I figured out that Queen Victoria's reign is the longest in British monarchial history, with Elizabeth II coming just shy, okay? That bitch reigned, may she rest in peace, I guess. Actually, not really, because she was horrible. She reigned for damn near 60 years? Let me fact check myself.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Damn. Damn, she was born in 1819. She became queen at age 18 after the death of her uncle, William IV. Okay, anyway, yeah, 63 years and some change. The longest reign in British history. Oh, just kidding. Queen Elizabeth II surpassed her in 2015. My fault. My fault. Because, oh, that is actually true because Queen Elizabeth was, what is that called? Coronated? Coronated definition.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
To put a crown on someone's head in an official ceremony. I am a genius. And you know what? That comes from the stem corona, which means crown in Spanish, which is in Latin. Because it's a romance language. So coronated. Corona. Okay, anyway, Victorian England, you always hear about that. It's because that was for over 50 years that Victorian England was a thing.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Because it is Valentine's week, and the crowd makes no reaction. It's Valentine's week. That fucking video. That girl with her friends in the hotel room. She goes, it's St. Patrick's Day. And her friends say, we really don't give a fuck. It's not even a major holiday. Acted like it's Christmas or something. Fuck you and St. Patrick's Day. And her face, she said, what the fuck?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Queen Victoria died in 1901, and her son Edward took over for nine years. Edward was a playboy king. He didn't give a fuck. about England or the English people. He didn't give a fuck. He reigned for nine years, died. Shortly after that, George took over. I believe King George VI. Let me see if I'm wrong. Boom. I'm a genius. King George VI.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
And when King George... So King George ruled during World War I and World War II. And so when you hear them talk about God saved the king, that's King George VI. And he wasn't the ugliest monarch that the UK and Northern Ireland has ever had. Okay? He wasn't fugly. I'll say that. He was... Queen Elizabeth II's father. Okay, so we have Victoria and Albert.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
If you ever hear about the Victoria and Albert Theater, very famous venue in London, that's actually going to be Victoria and Albert because that was the king and queen. Okay. Queen Victoria, then we have King Edward, then we have King George, then we have Queen Elizabeth, then we have King Charles. Okay, so that's the sort of succession of the British monarchy for the last... What is that?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
200 years? And I was reading during... I was reading Sherlock Holmes into the 1900s. He refers to the king. And I was like, what fucking king? And then they would also refer to Victoria. And so that's what kind of led me to Google it. Y'all really don't care. And I also stumbled my way through that. And for that, I apologize.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
So if you were ever wondering, when you hear about Victorian England, oh, Victorian, Victorian, it's... Because it lasted for, you know, just shy of 70 years. So that's a long time to rule. And it's also a long time to commit atrocities under your name in service of the British Empire. Okay, pardon me. There were two Georges. Holy shit. There were two Georges.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
King George V ruled the UK from 1910 to 1936. So I wasn't wrong. There was a King George. And then right after that, King George VI from 1936 to 1952. And then 1952 was Queen Elizabeth II. This is tea, though, because, God, I mean, obviously imperialism is... the bane of, I would say, most atrocities globally and internationally can be traced to imperialism. I think that is a fair statement.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
Like most of the evil between peoples historically has come from imperialism or empire and trying to own slash destroy imperialism. other countries and other cultures and other peoples to subjugate them. That has been the bane. The bane of the human existence is the desire for power and the acquisition, the struggle for acquisition of power. I think most things can be traced back to that.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
83: DO NOT Learn The History of Valentine’s Day
I need to take a sociology course. Right. I feel like I would I'd eat that shit up. I took a sociology and psychology course at a community college when I was in college just to, like, get my credit. And so I did it locally and I was tapped the fuck in. No one else in that class gave a fuck.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Your skin and hair will thank you. Here's some stuff I've been loving lately. Okay, I'm just gonna, this is a random list that I've thrown together. Brother, I need to talk about this on the podcast. Here it is. Halfeti by Penhaligon's. That is my scent of choice right now. It is my favorite perfume. I wear it every single day. I'm addicted to it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
I think it's, I say this, but this is gonna change in the next 72 hours probably. It's my signature scent right now, right now. Because sometimes I get a whiff of it and I'm like, this is too mature for me. And then some days I'm like, this is me. This is fucking me to my core. I just gotta hear you took a screenshot of my soul. It can't be healthily by Penhaligon sometimes.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Anyway, that's number one. Number two, yogurt-covered pretzels. I was with Stanley this last weekend. We were filming Royal Court, and he went into this dumbass children's candy shop. He's like, I want something sweet. Went in, got yogurt pretzels. I was driving. I said, can I have one of those? He's like, yeah. And now it's all I think about. Yogurt-covered pretzels, dude? I got a big tub.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
I went to the grocery store, got a big tub of them, ate half of them in a night, had diarrhea. Whatever. You can take the binge eating out of the binge eater, but hey, those tendencies are still going to whisper. They're going to come and tuck my hair behind my ear. You know what I mean?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
I had to hang up the proverbial robe, hang up the fucking hat on the binge eating, but sometimes, hey, take that hat around the block for a spin. Don't listen to me. Don't listen to me. Number three, watermelon flavored things. Been loving that a lot lately. There's this electrolyte drink. I like this watermelon. It's pretty much it. I've just been loving some like watermelon liquid IV.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Stutter one more time. Jimmy Peppers. Ermagerd Jimmy Peppers on my Jimmy Johns. Shut the fuck up, Jimmy Peppers ingredients. Jimmy Peppers are a sweet, mild fire engine red pepper variety, or Jimmy John's Jimmy Peppers, a hot cherry pepper mix used in their sandwiches. Hot cherry pepper mix? Hot cherry pepper mix? I hardly know her. Oh my god, I found my fucking people on Reddit.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
That's all I've been drinking lately. Next is flossing. Not the dance, not the backpack kid dance, just flossing in general. Been doing that a lot lately.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
I've been really into flossing. Some of you bitches really might want to get into it too.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Can I just say really quick, the thought of waking up in the morning and leaving your home and not brushing your teeth is like, if you're a fan of mine, cut that shit out. If you're, we're not doing stinky broski nation ambassadors. Please guys, don't, we can't be the stinky fan base. Please wear deodorant and not that fucking aluminum free shit.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Wear deodorant that works and please brush your teeth. I'm begging y'all. We can't be stinky. What was that joke that I was used to say to people who were like barricaded concerts? It's like y'all are in the no deodorant club. Y'all are in the let's raise my arms and not wear deodorant club. I don't remember what the tweet was, but we can't be doing that, guys. Please. Anyway, big into flossing.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Big into French tips. Okay. And when I got these nails at first, I was like, I feel like. a 40 year old Southern mom of two boys. And one of them's not doing so great in school. The other one's trying to get, you know, he's like 16, 17. We're trying to get him noticed by colleges for either baseball or football, whatever he's playing. And he's like, just not there.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Like, I'm really, I want my boys to be good. You know what I mean? But they're really struggling. They're feeling like, inferior. And it's on me as a mother to sort of coax them back to, you just have to believe in yourself and you can't let this stuff slip. Right? Because you're in high school right now. When you get to college, that's a different ballgame. You got to be your own boss.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
That's what these nails make me feel like, is I'm always in the car. I'm always on fucking Apple CarPlay. My husband's trying to call me. Don't call me, because we fought yesterday. And he's being stupid and oblivious, and I'm going to leave him. I'm going to leave my husband. Probably, I'm going to wait until the kids, I'll get them through. And also, I'm the breadwinner.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
My bitch-ass husband doesn't do shit. He sits at home all day. Because I married him because he was a creative, and now he hasn't done anything creative for the last 11 fucking years, okay? Anyway, I get my boys through high school. I get them through college. I divorce, I divorce my husband because I can't deal with it anymore. Right. Then I go on an eat, pray, love journey.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Maybe I don't go to Bali. Maybe I go to like Argentina or something. Okay. Maybe I go figure myself out there, but I really see in an alternative life. That was me. And I had these nails and probably this hair as well. Sometimes when I think of deja vu, I think of it as like alternate timelines or parallel timelines.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
And when deja vu happens, I usually see it as like, okay, you're still on the right track. Like it's check marks of where you are, where you're supposed to be, you're doing things right. But sometimes I get deja vu and I'm like, it's because I had this same experience in my other life. You know what I mean? What are some common explanations of deja vu? Deja vu explained.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Deja vu, meaning already seen in French. Now, see, I had no idea that's what that meant, which is making sense. The feeling of familiarity with a situation or experience that you know you've never encountered before. And while its exact cause is unknown, it's often linked to memory processing or subtle neurological events. I'm sweating. Hold on. I've got to take off my blouse.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Let's go to clevelandhealthclinic.org. Deja vu, what it is and why it happens. You may not be a magician, but when you experience deja vu, your brain is creating an illusion. This is thought to happen when there's a bit of a miscommunication between two parts of your brain.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Deja vu is caused by dysfunctional connections between the parts of your brain that play a role in memory recollection and familiarity. You have two temporal, here we fucking go. Okay, locking in. Just touchdown in science mode. You have two temporal lobes, one on each side of your head, right above your temples. They play an important role.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
And I just actually had a freak out because I'm not my body. I'm just, I'm this fucking pink matter, gray matter inside of this skull. And one day I will also be bones. I will be across bones and skull somewhere in the Paris catacombs. I just actually, hold on.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Because I was going to have this freaking on this podcast anyway, because I'm reading Cersei right now and she's immortal and she is obsessed with mortals. Because obviously if you're immortal, again, why do I always talk about this dumb ass topic on this podcast? This should be called, okay.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
I found my community on Reddit. Did you know you can get a gallon of Jimmy John's spicy peppers for $20 and they're delicious on everything? Where the fuck do you buy this? You can get one pound of Mama Lil's, which are the same thing for a little cheaper. Now, Mama Lil's is what Alyssa's Magic uses. If y'all know my girl Alyssa on TikTok, she does the snack plate.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Just started six sentences back to back. Didn't finish one of them. Here, I'm going to start and finish this one. I've been thinking a lot about death. Because what's new? I've been thinking a lot about death recently because Cersei is addicted to mortals. She loves them. And she finds them to be very...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
interesting and intriguing in how emotional they are, how weak they are, but at the same time so strong and how there's beauty in the imperfections. Because when you are surrounded by beautiful, immortal gods, goddesses, nymphs, Dryads, naiads, whatever the fuck. If beauty is the norm, then somewhere along that path, the roles become reversed, right?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Hey guys, major heads up for this episode. I had a crazy sandwich from some local deli that I tried out, and I've been having, sorry, TMI, nonstop diarrhea for the last, give or take, five, six hours. Just up and down, up and down, back to the turlet, back to my bed, back to the turlet. You know what I mean?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
If that's all you see, then something off the beaten path or out of the norm is the new beautiful. So for her, when she sees marred skin or... sunburn or age lines or smile lines or scabs or calloused hands, she thinks it's the most beautiful thing in the world.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
And honestly, been freaking out a lot about this because as a kid, quote unquote I say, she's thousands of years old, as a child, when she first realized that mortals die, and not only do they die, but their lifespans are so short, she was like, Why is no one pitying them? Like, why is, how can this happen? Like, it's this very innocent, what do you mean they die? Because immortality is the norm.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
And I've just been thinking a lot about death recently because what the fuck? Hold on, let me read this. I underlined something because it made me fucking spiral. And if the real Broski Nation comrades remember, when I went on Mythical Kitchen's Last Meals podcast,
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
And me and Josh had bonded over, mythical chef Josh, had bonded over how death is our biggest fear because what do you mean it's just over? And also being raised religious and being ex-religious now, any sense of comfort or certainty that I had has been ripped from under me. The rug has been pulled. So now it really is me versus the darkness. It's me versus nothingness.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
And there is nothing, I don't know why I'm laughing. It's not funny. There's nothing comfortable. scarier to me genuinely than the great beyond, then this is it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
And while it fills me with a sense of optimism and I want to live my life to the fullest, the flip side of that coin is just eternal dread and a childlike fear of pain, of darkness, of loneliness, all of it kind of balls up into one big tumbleweed of anxiety and that's kind of what's going on in my head, so. Anyway, let me find this passage. Sorry. Here's a passage from Circe. Okay.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
It's on page 159. And I'm about to butcher these names. So just bear with me. Icarus, Daedalus, Ariadne, all gone to those dark fields where hands worked nothing but air, where feet no more touched the earth. If I had been there, I thought, but what would it have changed? It was true what Hermes said.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
She introduced me to those snack plates. Those damn snack plates. She'll cut up some Mama Lil's peppers and some pepperoncinis. Pepperoncini, pepperoncini, banana pepper. They're all the same thing, right? I love a damn banana pepper. Anyway, I am coming to you today to tell you that I have a fucking problem, okay?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Every moment morals died, by shipwreck and sword, by wild beasts and wild men, by illness, neglect, and age. It was their fate, as Prometheus had told me, the story that they all shared. No matter how vivid they were in life, no matter how brilliant, no matter the wonders they made, they came to dust and smoke.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Meanwhile, every petty and useless god would go on sucking down the bright air until the stars went dark. I just kind of read that and I had to close the book. And honestly, the episode that I did when I came back from the Paris catacombs where I was like truly having a freak out spiral, reading this book, I'm finding myself back down in the catacombs and that just wash over me of this cannot be.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
it's like an incredulous disbelief of this cannot be me one day. Like the catacombs is such a visceral experience. You are face to face with death. These skulls and human bones are not behind wire. They're not behind net. You can go up and touch it. Don't, don't do that. But it's that close. And it's on eye level. And it is a human person's skull. And I just, it made me freak out.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
I don't know what makes me freak out more actually. The fact that it'll end or the fact that this is all I get or life is so fragile. Like you could die before you're meant to, or the oblivion of it all like death is loneliness. And that's why it's so important during life to, to bask in the comfort and love of your own presence.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Up here, and in the end, this is dark, and I don't know if I really agree with this, but you are all that you have in your mind. That's why dementia scares the fuck out of me. Anyway, here's where I was going with this, okay? I want to look up... both on this podcast and in my free time, what is the solution to that spiral of thinking?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Because it's not a fun one to go down, and I don't find myself following the spiral often, but it does hit me, especially with books like this, where I'm like, fucking hell. Also, the story being told from an immortal's point of view is like, it's not necessarily preferable to being mortal, so just throw that out there, but...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
I want to know a metaphorical salve or a serum to quell those thoughts when they start or some form of just comfort and outside the bounds of religion. I know the simple answer is, oh, just believe in God, believe in eternal life. You know, find your way to any of these prophetic deities and confess your loyalty and your whatever and promise to do, okay, now what?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
And I also need you to know that this is the third piece of media that I have talked about Jimmy John's on this week. We just filmed a bunch of Royal Court episodes. I brought it up in at least two of them. And at least two episodes, I'm like, you know about Jimmy John's. I made it in a TikTok, Jimmy John's. Just now, Jimmy John's. Fuck off! I'm not even, like, being paid.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
It's also one of those things where I don't really believe it as I'm saying it because I'm saying it for a selfish purpose. And that is what my issue with Christianity was. From the moment that I was acquainted with the idea of baptism or of salvation, it was from a purely selfish point of view.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
When I told y'all that story, my pastor said, if you're not for sure, if you died tonight, you're going to heaven. Put your fucking hand in the air. And I said, well, hell girl, I'm 11. You know what I mean? That was bred out of a sense of helplessness and selfish worry for my own soul. Not because I believe that Jesus is the light in the way and the this and that and the whatever.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
That's the disconnect. And I feel like the puzzle pieces never really fit together for me. And I'm struggling for that to find... and keep that sense of certainty and security that I used to have. And also the validation of a church community telling you you're doing everything right. You are not alone. He walks beside you. All these things where you're getting positive echo chamber feedback
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
from people who believe the same or would like to believe the same for themselves. And it helps with the delusion, but being so far removed from the church, I have none of that now. And I don't miss the church, but this solitary solitude, it's too much sometimes. This episode is sponsored by SeatGeek. Y'all know I'm going to the Cowboy Carter tour. Don't even play around.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
You know I'm gonna be there. Which is why I wanna give the sponsor of today's video, SeatGeek, a huge shout out. With over 28 million downloads, SeatGeek is the number one rated ticketing app. There's more than 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek, including concerts, sports, festivals, and more.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
There are so many artists going on tour this summer, like The Weeknd, Beyonce, Kendrick Lamar and SZA, Post Malone, Tyler, the Creator, Sabrina Carpenter, etc. I love using SeatGeek because it is easy to use. I love using SeatGeek because SeatGeek has your back. Each ticket is rated on a scale of 1 to 10, so you know you're getting a good deal. So look for the green dots.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Green means good, red means bad. Plus, every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee. And y'all know I got a code. You can use code BROSKI2025 for 10% off your next set of tickets at SeatGeek. That's 10% off tickets with promo code BROSKI2025. Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Thanks, SeatGeek! So here's what I want to Google. how to get over a fear of death. We're getting to it, guys. Thanatophobia. There's a fucking name for it. Also, why does that sound like Thanatos? I'm on my Greek mythology shit right now, girl. Hold on, because I'm powered through Song of Achilles. I'm doing Circe. Next, I'm going to finish Clytemnestra.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Then I'm going to do the Daughters of the fucking whatever. Daughters of the Wolves. Wolves' Den. Daughters of the Wolves' Den. Then I'm going to do the Odyssey. Then I'm going to do the Iliad. No, I'm going to do the Iliad, then the Odyssey. Which is the first one? No, you start with the Iliad, because the Iliad is the Trojan War, and the Odyssey is Odysseus' journey home after the Trojan War.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Jimmy John's, you want to sponsor this podcast? You let me know. Because I'm doing free promo, free press. Damn. I love Jimmy. James Jonathan. Okay. Guys, welcome back. Okay?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Okay, so... Anyway, I'm on my Greek mythology shit right now. And you know what I love about Madeline Miller? She introduces you to all of these names, whether you've heard them before, whether you just know that, like, we just got introduced to the Minotaur in this book. And I'm like, oh, I know the Minotaur. It's like half man, half bull.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
And then you hear of the origin of, like, how he came to be and how the Minotaur was defeated and... the significance of monsters to the Greek gods and goddesses and how it was a form of creating heroes. You can't have heroes without monsters to kill or to best or to conquer. So it's all a game.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
And what I, I was talking to Stanley about this the other day too, because what is so intriguing to me about Greek gods versus Norse gods versus any of these mythologies that have lasted for thousands of years, is that they're quite cruel. The gods are cruel and there's no balance of fairness or love. They're not motivated by love or hate. They're motivated by power.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
And that is such an interesting, you know what I mean? And the Norse gods are fucking cruel. Look that up too. Well, actually, what were we saying? Stanley said, that the Norse gods were cruel and the Greek gods and goddesses were motivated by ego, which all of them are. It's just a power play. I mean, they're all under the same umbrella of just you have power and you want to keep it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
But I think that's what he said. And I need to I need to lock the fuck into all this ego versus Norse gods cruelty. OK, I need to lock the fuck into this. Not here, because I'm I'm reading too deep. Thank you.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
And for the girls who are like, Um, queen, quit fucking around. Drop the album. Um, when's the single coming?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
It's fucking out. I hope you bitches are hungry. I hope you bitches are hungry. Eat. Come get y'all juice. It's here. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, I went ahead and actually had released a single. I had released an original piece of music. So if anyone gives a shit, also there, that's an inside joke between me and my friends.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
We'll say, they'll be like, oh my God, how was your meeting? How was whatever? I'll be like, it was great. But you know, like you give a shit. Actually, that's my friend Channing's bit. It's my friend Channing and Tristan's bit. And I kind of had poached it from him. I stole it from him. They all be like, well, Brittany, we know you don't give a shit, but last night went great.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. As you'll swiftly appreciate, there is an intractable contradiction right at the center of this first actionable item. You cannot imagine what it would be like to be dead because death is an absence of existence. There is literally nothing to imagine because nothingness itself cannot be imagined.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Like, I didn't ever say I don't care.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
I dropped a single. Like, y'all give a fuck. No one gives a fuck. It's a joke, okay? Okay, let's talk about it, because I feel like I've been talking about it nonstop, but not to my people, not to the people that actually matter to me. Y'all, you know what I mean? Broski Nation... This single has been a labor of love, and I feel that it embodies the core, the heart of what I am introducing you to.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
This isn't helping! There is no perspective, no view from nothingness, nothing to which it can be approximated. So that is the first recommendation. Realize that being dead isn't an experience. Death itself isn't really a thing at all. In Epicurus' words, death is nothing to us. To drive the point home, let's turn to the Roman poet Lucretius.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
He was a saltier and more ironic Epicurean of a later generation, the first century BCE, whose unexampled poem, On the Nature of Things, fell afoul of early Christians because of its crypto-atheism.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
In the poem, Lucretius proposes an idea, later termed the symmetry argument, that hints at the second thing you should do to overcome the fear of death, which is try to recall what it was like before you were born. Okay, I can't do that. I was baby. I don't remember. Okay, Lucretius, that's stupid as fuck. I don't remember.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Not how the world was, which is the task of historical imagination, but what it was like to be you before you were created. You'll discover that prenatal existence isn't something that can be thought about, much less experienced. The symmetrical part of the argument, of course, is that you have the very same difficulty in imagining what it is like to be dead. Okay, but here's my thing.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
I've already got notes and I've got questions and I've got commentary. That does scare me of like there being nothing before and nothing after. And it makes the miracle of life that much more of a confusing, confounding miracle that like against all odds, I should not be here. You should not be here. We should not be here. Yet life prevails. Beauty prevails.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
But at the same time, pain and suffering prevail. So what's that fucking quote? Is it better not to have lived? Is it better to have lived than not to have lived at all? Is it better to love than not to have loved at all? All those things wrap up in the same feeling of, obviously I'd much rather be alive. I think that's what freaks me the fuck out the most. I love being alive. I love life.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
I have a passion for life. Life is my number one special interest. And the fact that that could be taken from me is horrifying.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
I don't want it. I don't want it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Let's keep reading. Already cried once. We're not going to cry multiple times in the same episode, even though I've done it before. No doubt you don't fear your prenatal existence. So logically speaking, given their equivalence, it follows that you should fear death the exact same amount, as in not at all.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
And it's this delicate balance, right, where I don't want to come on here and be like, this song means this, and let's go through it lyric by lyric what I meant, because that takes away the fun. And I'm now understanding that, where when I was younger, or even by that I mean a year ago, I always want artists to come out and just tell me, right?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Common sense tells us that our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness. This brings us to the third thing to do to calm your existential angst. Examine how much nothing, non-existence, can reasonably be feared. That is, are there any good reasons for your pending death to trigger the emotion of fear?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
It is reasonable to be fearful of things to the extent that those things can cause you harm. It was reasonable to be jittery about nukes during the Cold War era. It is reasonable to be scared that humanity is turning the globe into a sauna. And it is reasonable for your heart to launch as from a trebuchet into your throat when your partner says to you the words, we need to talk.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
These are all identifiable threats that foretell awful experiences. None of them would help us in our Epicurean goal of being happy, and so are reasonably feared. But death itself, not the process of dying, which is something different, doesn't seem to be the sort of thing that one can reasonably be fearful of because it isn't anything. It's not uncomfortable or hurtful to be dead.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
It's not as if you're being deprived of life or of more contented years because, again, you simply aren't there to be deprived in the first place. For you, there's nowhere to locate the harm of being dead, since being dead is in a state of being. It's not something that, strictly speaking, happens to you, and so it can't be harmful. No one would say St. Francis of Assisi is more dead than Pancra.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
The Epicurean argument against the fear of death concerns only your own self and its dissolution. When I think through these steps, I find that their efficacy is largely dependent upon my mood. I like the idea of being able to intellectualize away the fear of death, as if merely thinking philosophical thoughts would be enough to give me courage.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
And when I'm particularly despondent or detached from the world, perhaps there are glimmers of comfort from the argument that death is nothing. But commonly, this line of thinking doesn't completely allay the fear of death.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Epicurus recognized this his argument by itself isn't strong enough to completely release us from the dread of a terminal existence I doubt that anything is or rather I wouldn't trust anything that truly and fully did free one from fear of death there are certain brands of fanaticism for instance that appear to do just this with obviously horrific results and by that he's probably talking about like cults like Heaven's Gate or David Koresh or whatever
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
But as the contemporary philosopher James Warren emphasizes, Epicurus' argument should be borne in mind as part of a cognitive therapy for dealing with one's own life. It can have its fruits. It can lighten a little the fear of death, which in turn can subtly augment your enjoyment of life. And that is, on the whole, one of the great purposes of being here in the first place.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Okay, so he says, enjoy your own fleeting time on Earth. This is the final paragraph, and I think there's something here. Without death, life would be nothing but a dire repetition, pointless and endless. Immeasurably long lives would eventually deflate into the most banal tedium. Millennia upon millennia upon millennia would have to be lived out, and even then, there would be an eternity to go.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Eventually, the most sublime and wondrous experiences possible would become punishing in their drab familiarity. Fortunately, this isn't a possibility that need concern us too much, but confronting the alternative to death brings home the point. No matter how terrifying it might be, the fact of death makes life more brilliant and precious. The time we have together in this place is fleeting.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
When Florence Welch sits down to write a song and it's packed with all this imagery and it's a clear reference to something, but I feel like I'm not quite getting it, but I'm getting it in my own way, that's the point, right? If she was to come on and be like, this is what this line means and do it line by line by line, it ruins the mystique, it ruins the ambiguity of what that art is.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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Let's spend it well. What the fuck? The time we have together in this place is fleeting. Let's spend it well. What the fuck? Okay!
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Fine! Fine, I'll enjoy my life. Fine, I'll enjoy my life and find the whimsy in the finite. Fine, I'll go there. Oh, dude. Okay. I don't know if that helped, but it definitely offered some perspective. Shout out Epicurious, I guess. Epicurious. I don't know why I'm adding an extra yes in it. I think all this shit is so interesting, but it's also so much. It's so heavy.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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It's just, okay, one of those days. I'm having one of those freaking days.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
But look, if my brain's going to take me there anyway, I might as well read about it and learn about it. You know what I mean? Let's do the songs of the week. Let's just, let's move on. Thanks for going there with me, team. Thanks for, sorry, if you had to click off, I understand. If you're still here with me, shout out. Shout out, you're a brave soldier. Here are my songs of the week.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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Exile by Saint Levant. Get into St. Lavant, bitch. Palestinian rapper and singer-songwriter. I'm into it. And is he hot? Yeah. I've been getting a lot of clips of his live shows, and I'm like, damn. Hey, hey. Nuts. And I get clips of his interviews, too. He's just a charmer. He is a charming young gentleman. That's number one. Adventure of a Lifetime by Coldplay. I love that song.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Every time it comes on shuffle, I'm like, oh, greatest song ever made? Shut up, turn it up. That one and Paradise by Coldplay. Two of the best songs ever written. Ever, ever made. And then the last two are...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
hosier songs y'all fucking hate me y'all hate me y'all hate every time I talk about hosier you hate every time I talk about Florence and the Machine you want to kill me but I won't stop I won't stop and you know I'm still trying to figure out what my hosier tattoo is gonna be but it's one of those things where you know like I love the Rolling Stones I love Rosalia whatever those to me are very clearly identifiable things like for Rosalia Motomami that was a no-brainer I had to get Motomami on my on my sleeve
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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Rolling Stones, the lips, duh, that's it. For Hosier, I have, what I've been like waiting on is I have yet to find a piece of art to me that is like, that embodies the way he makes me feel. That this embodies his body of work. This embodies what he signifies to me. And the layers of, down to the core of my being that he's impacted me on.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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There's no singular line of a lyric or an album artwork or his logo that would mean that. So I've been struggling to find the perfect one. I almost got a tattoo when Harry's House came out of... What song is it? Is it Keep Driving or is it... No, it's Grape Juice. It's Grape Juice when he says... sitting in the garden I'm a couple glasses in.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
That coincided with a lyric from a Beatles song that I've always wanted to get tattooed, which is sitting in an English garden waiting for the rain. And I was like, they're both English gardens. And I'm addicted to that concept of This little... There's something very whimsical about an English garden. You think about like Peter Rabbit or... What's that? Isn't it called The Secret Garden?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Yeah, The Secret Garden. And then... Is Johnny Depp in it? Neverland? Neverland. I think that's the name of the movie, Neverland. There's something very wimps, and it also brings me back to my childhood of just being outside. Imagine me playing outside. I did used to, but I used to, I was acting, okay? I was using it as a backdrop.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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And while I think that there's a balance between speaking to the inspirations and the sentiment that informs the song, the specifics of the lyricism, I really offer that up to y'all. You know what I mean? And I already saw... Y'all are just, I just love you guys. Like you're picking up on things that I don't have to tell you, you know? And it's really nice. It's really validating.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
I was not on my knees in the mud, digging up worms and shit like that. I was like, obviously this scene would take place in the forest. That's what I was doing. So the scene that I'm directing, okay, lean against this tree. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And then you're going to be holding this sort of stem.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
You're going to be playing with it just as a sort of fixation of the hands while you're speaking. That's more so what I was doing. But when it comes to this idea of an English garden, it's something in my mind that should not exist. And therefore, it's a portal to somewhere a bit more mystical. Because the English countryside is so... It's just got this... ethereal nature to it, I think.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
So, in English Garden, the fact that two of my favorite artists have a similar line, I'm gonna get that eventually one day. Like, that's a no-brainer, and that's also an homage, homage, homage to those songs, because I love them. But yeah, for Hosea, it's just difficult for me to try to pinpoint one song or one, because they're all so fucking good. You're spoiled for choice.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
And it's hard to say which ones impacted me more than another, because that's just, it's not how it works with his discography. So I'll keep you all updated on that. Anyway. Oh, the Hosier songs that I'm addicted to right now are Anything But from Unreal on Earth and Shrike from Wasteland Baby. Damn. That is an album I keep coming back to. I keep coming back to it because it's a work of art.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Shrike. Shrike. And that song is about a, he describes it, but it's about a predatory bird. It's about a bird of prey that's very cute and tiny. And it like impales its meals above its house. It's like in a cactus or something. I don't know. It's like a very nefarious bird. And he writes around this concept of a bird. something so gentle and sweet being a predator.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Um, so yeah, I love that song and it's been on repeat lately for no reason. I just keep coming back to it. Okay, I think that'll do it for me this week. Go listen to The Sun by Brittany Broski, if you care. If y'all even give a shit. And then, if you want a Moomoo, go to broski.shop. And Broski Report merch. We've got that shit on. She's got that shit on, though.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
And subscribe to this YouTube channel. Rate me five stars, please, on Spotify and Apple Music. I haven't asked y'all to do that in a long time, because I honestly forgot. I've been forgetting. So... No pressure. Love you guys a lot. I really, really do. Thank you for letting me do this job. Thank you for letting me do this job.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
It is crazy to think that I ever was doing anything else because this is just... It's it. No, but I mean it. This is... the happiest I've ever been. And it is the most fulfilled I've ever been. And it's the most connected to a community I've ever felt. And I'm just infinite. There are no words. There are no words. The best I can give you is myself, you know, as a form of thanks.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
I'm going to keep leveling up and I'm going to keep creating because that's what I have to give you in exchange for your love. So. I just, I'm so grateful. And I don't say it enough. Okay, team, with that, fuck off. And I'll see you next week. Bye-bye.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
But the most validating thing about it is it is done. It's done. And the people that I want to have it, it's yours. You know what I mean? Like broski nation, my fucking people, my municipality, city, state. Do we have clean water? No. Do we have healthcare? No. Do we have fresh crops? No. But do we have a fucking single? Yeah, and y'all are getting fed regardless.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
It's so good, though. I don't know what was on this damn sandwich. It was because everything in life for me, I'm just trying to chase the high of Jimmy John's Italian nightclub. And I try to recreate it in other sandwich shops. And I just I don't come close. You know what I mean? But I can't. There was. And if I'm allowed to bare my soul, there was a string of days. Can't remember when. Oh, yeah.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
And you're getting fed again soon, okay? So keep those baby bird mouths open. But here's the sort of thing, right? The Sun, the single, wrote that song about a year ago. And I came in just like with a heaviness on me the day that we wrote it. And I was in the room with my co-writers, Sissy and Emily and my producer, Luke.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
And we talked for half of the session because I was just like, this has been my experience with this fucking dude that's like, It extends so much farther beyond just like this one interaction with a man though. Because while that solidified my feeling in that moment, zooming out a bit, it's like he wasn't the first one to make me feel like that. And this goes so much farther beyond him.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
He was just the catalyst, I guess, for this final like nail in the coffin. But it's this larger feeling that I've felt my whole life of...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
People have told me, and I've bonded about this with some of my friends that have lived a similar thing, when you are a confident, loud, unapologetic person, I don't even want to say woman, when you are someone who knows themselves so clearly, that is very scary for some people. And it's not just men.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Direct from the Broski Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California, this is the Broski Report with your host, Brittany Broski.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
It's some people cannot stand to stand next to your glow or be in the light of your glow without feeling a compulsion to dampen that light. or to dull it, or to make you feel less. And most often in my life, that's come at the hands of men, the words of men. I would say it's not a unique sentiment to men only that have made me feel that way, if you catch my drift. So when that happens, and when
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
you realize you're surrounded by people that it feels want to change you or want you to be less because what you are is too much for them. And what I've come to realize is that's in a positive way for me, I'm too much for you because you can't handle me because you are not up to par with me. There's nothing wrong with me, okay? I say this every single episode where
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
There is community in this feeling of being off the beaten path when it comes to relationships or intelligence or interests or creativity or just who you are as a person. Feeling misunderstood or feeling like you never really were in the same realm on the same planet as other people. I felt that way a lot as a teenager. where it's like, I found my community online.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
And that's why I am the way that I am. The internet raised me. And it also raised all of you. And there's a community in that. And what used to feel so lonely now is brimming with life. Anyway, so the sun is written from that sort of perspective of being told you need to be less, you're too good for me, but at the same time, what does that mean? What does that mean I'm too good for you?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Last week when I ordered Jimmy John's four days in a row. I had Jimmy John's four days in a row and I don't feel good about it. I don't feel proud or happy to say that. If you're my doctor and you're listening, no, I did not order Jimmy John's four days in a row. I had some whole meals. Think green, leafy greens, baby butter, Jim lettuce, lots of protein, very low fat diet.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Because the only logical conclusion I can pull from that statement is that I need to be less. Is that gonna make you want me? I'll be less. Fine, I'll be mess. I've talked about this before of that fucking lyric from Lemonade by Beyonce when she recites that poetry where she says, I've looked it up before. Hold on, let me find it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Girl, this gives me chills every time I fucking read it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Okay, this is anger. This is from anger. So I think this is right before Don't Hurt Yourself. I think it's right before don't hurt yourself on lemonade. Okay, here we go. If this is what you truly want, I can wear her skin over mine, her hair over mine, her hands as gloves, her teeth as confetti, her scalp a cap, her sternum my bedazzled cane. We can pose for a photograph, all three of us.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Immortalized. You and your perfect girl. I have chills. Can you zoom in on that? I have chills all over my body. I don't know when love became elusive. What I know is no one I know has it. My father's arms around my mother's neck, fruit too ripe to eat. I think of lovers as trees, growing to and from one another, searching for the same light. Why can't you see me? Why can't you see me?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Why can't you see me? Everyone else can.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
I have chills all over my body! What the fuck? What the fuck, Beyonce? Shit!
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
That never gets old. This is, in a roundabout way, the sun is everything in this poem and more. Because it's this feeling not only of, in a romantic sense, what do you mean I'm too good for you? But in life. Friendships, opportunities, jobs, anything. It's like some people just can't handle you. And that is okay because they're not meant to.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
And when you find the people that do and can and they can keep up with you and they sharpen your knife and you sharpen theirs, it is incredible. So yeah, the sun to me is that. And I know it's not a unique experience, so I hope you enjoy it and it's finally yours to have. And more music coming very soon. So I need y'all to sit with it for a moment though, okay?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
I feel like I've bombarded you, okay? We're doing Adore You, we did The Sun, we've got the video, the visualizers doing all this fucking bullshit, whatever. Enjoy it because the storm is coming. The storm is coming, girl. But yeah, so just need to talk about that, that's out of the way. Here's some stuff to completely pivot. This episode is sponsored by ZocDoc.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Bad date stories are always good for a laugh, and it almost feels like it's a rite of passage. But bad doctor appointments? Not so much, queen. Whether it's a doctor who rushed your appointment, belittled your symptoms, or hit you with a surprise bill, you shouldn't have to settle for mediocre care. But now, thanks to ZocDoc, you don't have to. You've got options.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high-quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. We're talking about booking in-network appointments with more than 100,000 doctors across every specialty, from mental health to dental health, primary care to urgent care, and more.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
You can filter for doctors who take your insurance, are located nearby, and are a good fit for any medical needs you might have. Also, with hundreds of verified patient reviews, you can find the type of care and support you're looking for, from good bedside manner to fast wait times to doctors with the best listening skills.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Once you find the right doctor, you can see their actual appointment openings. Choose a time slot that works for you and click to instantly book a visit. Appointments made through ZocDoc also happen fast, typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. You can even score same-day appointments.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
That's actually what I was eating. Now, if you're not my doctor, I need you to know that I had Jimmy John's four days in a row. Yeah, Jimmy Johns. And those damn Jimmy Peppers are so damn good. What do they put in them? What are Jimmy Peppers? I see that on the fucking modifications. Add Jimmy Peppers. Yeah, add as many Jimmy Peppers as you possibly can. Stutter one more time.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
I use ZocDoc to find my dermatologist, and for a big pink whitey like me, you can never be too cautious about moles and freckles. He keeps me in line. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to ZocDoc.com slash broski to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash broski. ZocDoc.com slash broski. This episode is sponsored by Blissy.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
Longtime fans of the podcast know I'm a Blissy enthusiast. I thrash around like a caged beast at night when I sleep. And switching from a cotton pillowcase to a Blissy silk pillowcase has saved my hair from turning into a rat's nest and breaking off and being matted with sweat. Blissy silk is better than satin, which is made from synthetics, and it's rough on hair and skin.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
It's also cheap for a reason. See healthier skin and hair in weeks. Blissy eliminates frizz, preserves hairstyles, and protects color-treated hair. It's dermatologist-tested and recommended, and it's clinically proven to not clog pores, unlike cotton. And this is because cotton absorbs moisture. Silk keeps the moisture in your face and hair.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
It's naturally hydrating, antibacterial, and hypoallergenic. It's naturally cooling and breathable for all my sweaters out there. It promotes better sleep and it's easy to care for. It's machine washable with zippers. Over 70 colors are now available, including a new Wicked and Harry Potter line. Blissey was voted the most loved gift of 2024.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
It was featured on Live with Kelly and Mark, The View, Oprah Daily, and Good Morning America, with over 3 million sold. Now, because you're a listener, Blissy is offering 60 nights risk-free plus an additional 30% off when you shop at blissy.com slash broski report. That's B-L-I-S-S-Y dot com slash broski report. And use code broski report to get an additional 30% off.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
So he gets out, he goes back home, he escapes, and he starts making Mach 2, Mach 3, Mach 4, and that's how we end up with the red and gold Iron Man suit. Now, the integral part of Iron Man is that that scientist that was in the cave with Tony puts this... arc reactor in his chest. And it's a magnet. It's an electromagnet that keeps the shrapnel from going to his heart. It like suspends it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
And he realizes that this is something he's going to have to deal with. And so when in Iron Man 2, stay with me, in Iron Man 2, his blood toxicity is increasing. So he recognizes his conditions getting worse. He starts really doing some self-destructive behavior because he knows that he's dying. He knows that he's dying.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
And there are tonics and things like this that he's created to quell the symptoms. But ultimately, his blood is being poisoned and he is dying because of all the metal in his body. Towards the end, he discovers slash death. Yeah, he doesn't invent. He rediscovers an element that his dad had actually made a sort of prototype for back in the 40s, 50s, 60s.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
And he discovers it because Howard Stark left behind all of these things for him to use as tools to finish. Because, of course, he was limited by the technology of his time. And he knew that Tony... being his son and being a genius, would be able to complete the plans that Howard put in place, you know, 80 years ago.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
So he does, discovers this new element, and it completely fixes the shit going on with whatever. And then in Iron Man 3, of course, he gets the arc reactor taken out. Now, any questions for me about the plot of Iron Man? Anyway, while in Iron Man 2, when he's testing that new thing, that's what I was likening it to, is this new Red Bull flavor. I'm not liking it, okay?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
Tastes like coconut and metal. It's what I was juicing up this morning. And it comes out of my chest. The arc reactor beam comes out of my chest. That's how I feel on this podcast. You give me one and a half Red Bulls. Oh, and mind you, I did have an espresso this morning as well. I'm realizing that it's not really sustainable what I'm doing. Because I have to come in this room juiced the fuck up.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
And usually I am. Usually about 85% of the time on this podcast, the juice is flowing. And by juice, I do not mean liquor. I mean strawberry apricot Red Bull that makes my throat close up. Okay, anyway, let's move on. This episode is sponsored by SeatGeek. It's a new year. It's time to leave the house. And I have the perfect suggestion for how.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
With over 28 million downloads, SeatGeek is the number one rated ticketing app. There's more than 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek, including concerts, sports, festivals, and more. So many artists are going on tour, and you can get tickets to Kendrick Lamar and SZA, The Weeknd, Beyonce, and more. I love using SeatGeek, and I found my sleep token tickets for me and my friend for a steal.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
SeatGeek has your back. Each ticket is rated on a scale of 1 to 10, so you know you're getting a good deal. Look for the green dots. Green means good, red means bad. Plus, every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee. And you know I came through for y'all. You can use code BROSKI2025 for 10% off your next set of tickets at SeatGeek. That's 10% off any tickets with promo code BROSKI2025.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thanks, SeatGeek. This episode is sponsored by Tinder. Did you hear a recent study found that 80% of women find having a hobby sexy? Imagine that, someone having personal interests and passions. Different people find different hobbies attractive.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
For some people, it's cooking or reading or rock climbing. Mine is straight men who watch the Broski Report, all four of them. Now, alternatively, if your whole personality is crypto, yeah, you're going to need to show us something else before you show us that profile. The judges are asking for some diversity. But here's what's fascinating.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
Why is there cyanide in tampons? So I made that up. Arsenic! Now see, sometimes I get arsenic confused with arsonists. And I was like, surely that's not it. It's arsenic, sorry. I'll be taking an arsenic pill every morning. Arsenic and tampons. Arsenic is a naturally occurring element that can be present in soil, water, and plants.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
Pottery and plant parents are having a moment, something about someone who can nurture things and create with their hands. It's very primal in me. And don't sleep on the unexpected ones like woodworking. Build me a book nook. How about a birdhouse? Now let me share some insider tips for showing off your hobbies on Tinder. First rule, action shots over gym or car selfies.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
Show yourself actually doing the thing you love, not looking like a psycho freak. Your bio is also prime real estate. Instead of just listing hobbies, make them conversation starters. Try looking for someone to try my experimental eggplant brownie recipe. That hits a little different than, I like cooking. And when you match, your hobbies are literally the perfect conversation starter.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
Trust me, talking about something you're passionate about is way more interesting than, hey. Tinder is perfect for showing off who you are through your interests. It's not just about looks. It's about finding someone who vibes with your hobby. Explore all the possibilities for yourself, Tinder. It starts with a swipe. Download the app today. Back to the ballet. Back to the ballet. Saw Swan Lake.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
Now, for anyone who has not seen Barbie and Swan Lake, go watch this. Pause this. Pause this episode right now. Go watch Barbie and Swan Lake. I don't give a fuck if you're driving. I don't give a fuck if you're at work. I want to see an extra monitor pulled up with Barbie and Swan Lake now. Go watch it and then report back.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
So for those of you cultured citizens who have seen Barbie and Swan Lake, and shout out to my sister because that's one of our favorite movies. That movie honestly did a fantastic job of telling the plot of Swan Lake. Because think about it, ballet, there's no dialogue. It's a lot of this, okay? It's a lot of signaling and no and heart and want, okay? It's all miming. There's no words.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
There's no dialogue. There's no mouthing. It's hard to tell a story that way. You are genuinely telling a story through the classical music accompaniment and the dance. It's hard. And set design and all that, you know, whatever. Yeah, okay. You fucking bitches. I know. I know.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
I feel the need to qualify every single statement I make because people in the comments are going to be like, well, actually, part of what goes in is right now. Shut up! I feel like HRH collection sometimes. There's a little bug in the back of my brain that's like, I can predict I'm six steps ahead, right? I know what people are going to be mad about.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
Because I didn't say the stage design is also a vital part of ballet. Okay, Swan Lake, if you've seen Barbie and Swan Lake, very, very accurate telling of the plot line of Swan Lake. So essentially, I'm going to do this from memory, and then we're going to fact check it on Wikipedia, okay? And is Wikipedia reliable? No, it's not reliable, but it's all we have!
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
It's all I feel, let me be honest, it's all I feel like referencing at this point in time, okay? So, Swan Lake is about a young woman who is cursed by a sorcerer into becoming a swan. And she's only human for a few hours at a time. Other than that, she's a swan on the lake. Simultaneously, there is a prince. He is the queen's son, and it's his name day. It's his birthday.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
And it's about time for him to select a wife. He doesn't want to do that. They bring six maidens in front of him. They all do a crazy little dance for him. He's not fucking with it. He is not rocking with the six maidens. For his birthday, his mom, the queen, gives him a crossbow. Okay, loves the crossbow. Him and the boys are going to go out and hunt. So they take the crossbow.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
He's like, fuck all this party. I know there's a bunch of bad bitches in the throne room. Don't care. I want to go be with my boys. Gay, right? Him and his friends go out and go into the woods for a hunt. They go on the hunt. with this beautiful golden crossbow. And as he's about to, boom, shoot a swan, which first of all, why are you shooting? Are you eating swan meat? What the fuck?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
It is believed that arsenic may enter tampons through the cotton or rayon used in their production. Studies have detected arsenic levels in tampons ranging from 0.002 to 0.035 nanograms per gram. These levels are generally considered low, but they're still higher than the maximum allowable level of arsenic in drinking water. Yay.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
Why would you shoot a swan? Oh, the most majestic creature probably to ever live. Yeah, let me gun it down. Gotta get that barbecue swan meat. Yeah, just the pulled swan meat for me. Yeah, on a brioche bun. Thank you so much. Can I get a side of waffle fries with the swan meat? Oh, you're out of swan? Fuck. All right, we're going to go somewhere else. Swan meat? Leg o' swan.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
What do swan legs look like? Swan leg.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
Goofy all legs, bruh. That is so, it's just tendons. No meat on the swan bone. I wonder what that, I wonder what that feels like on the hand. Like if you were to grab, if you were to grab a swan by the legs, would it be rubbery? What does a duck foot look, feel like? Is it rubbery or is it like a dolphin skin? You know, where it's kind of like smooth and shiny?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
Or, because they've got to have some grip on there, right? Also, I'm seeing some crazy talon action. What the fuck? Swans have talons? Oh my God, swans are dinosaurs. That's a dinosaur.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
Do swans have talons? What the fuck? relaxed webbed foot of a mute swan. Hind toe claws can scratch. Swans have claws that can scratch. Why is no one, why is no one talking about the fact that a swan's foot is called the webbed or palpated feet of birds can be categorized into several types.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
palmate, only the anterior digits are joined by webbing, found in ducks, geese, and swans, gulls, and terns, and other aquatic birds, ox, flamingos, fulmars, jaguars, loons, petrels, shearwaters, and skimmers. Birds are crazy, but swans are so pretty. They're pretty, but they've got razor-sharp Banshee-like talons and claws. Knee, hip, ankle. Why? God, that is just beautiful though, isn't it?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
Look at that wing. It's like an angel wing. Do you think the modern understanding and depiction of angel wings is based on swan wings? Where do angel wings come from? Angel wings are a symbolic representation of qualities like guidance, protection, and purity. Okay, anyway, back to the prince. Prince is on the hunt. Aims the crossbow at the swan. Before he can do that, stop, it's a woman, okay?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
He goes and dances with the woman because she is beautiful, stunning, the most gorgeous creature he has ever seen. They dance in the wood. And it's a beautiful, oh, it's a pas de deux, pas de deux, two, two people dancing together. Pas de deux, deux, un, deux, pas de deux, pas de deux. We have got to get a linguistic guy just sitting in the corner in here.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
The long-term health effects of exposure to low levels of arsenic through tampons are not well known. However, arsenic is a known carcinogen, yay, and can cause a variety of health problems, including skin lesions, cancer, and cardiovascular disease. Awesome.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
Who's just a polyglot who speaks every language for... Language? For every time I have a question, I can just be like, right? Anyway, now hiring. If anyone is a polyglot, go ahead and let me know. We can just Zoom you in. Anyway, they dance. It's wonderful. And then she has to go because she turns back into a swan at night, okay? Well, he returns to the castle. Oh, he's in love.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
He's sar, sar, sar in love. And they... promise each other that they're each other's only ones, they're in love, whatever. And also, it pays to mention now that the only way to break the sorcerer's curse is true love. Duh! Duh! Is it your first day on planet Earth? Yeah! True love's kiss. Anyway, opening of act two is... Another birthday celebration for my young boy.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
Another birthday celebration for bruh. Bruh is, again, dancing with all these maidens. Who gives a fuck? He's thinking about Odette. And there's all these... Actually, the top of Act 2 is really fun because all these different countries or cultures, so to speak, come in and do a little jig for the prince and the queen. And... They incorporate, I was trying to, me and Stanley were like, who is who?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
There was a Spanish one. There was like a Russian one. There was a German one. There was, oh, there was like an Arabesque one. Really gorgeous. And they do all these and they're all in their like respective little outfits. And it was so much fun. And the music is so good. So that's kind of a breakup of the... Because that music is so, it's so heart-wrenching and it's so like dramatic or whatever.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
If you are concerned about the presence of arsenic in tampons, consider using organic or bamboo tampons, which may have lower levels of arsenic, but never free of it, right? Never truly free. Choose tampons made from materials that are not bleached or treated with chemicals. Wash your hands before and after inserting. Yeah, we get that.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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And then the top of Act Two was like, they have tambourines. Anyway, so at this little ball, right? Roth, Rothgart, Rothbart. Von Rothbart, the sorcerer, okay, the sorcerer who cursed Odette, he's off number one. He comes in in disguise with his daughter named Odile. Now, Odile is dressed just like Odette, but in all black.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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Well, the dumbass, stupidass prince thinks that that's his woman, so they start dancing together. Oh, they're so in love. Oh, they kiss. Oh, they're, well, I just miss you so much. You want to be my girlfriend? Yes, I'm gonna be the king! Okay. They are betrothed. Then during the ball, a vision of Odette appears above the throne room. And it's her dancing like this. Okay.
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Because she's the swan and her wings brought her wings. And he sees the vision and realizes what he's done. This is not Odette. Shorty is not Odette. So he runs, he flees from the building. He knows what he has to do. Oh, he's going to apologize to Odette. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. How can I do that? I did not know it was you. I did not know it was not you.
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Okay, I saw another baddie and she was dancing with me. Pas de deux, pas de deux, and I didn't know. So he runs back into the forest. They start fighting. Yeah, they dance together for a second. And Odette and all her little swan girls are just mourning. They're lamenting. And it's actually so cute because the swans protect her when the prince comes around.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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And when Von Rothbart comes around, they protect her for a second. And then, of course, the prince and her find each other. They do a little dance. They're in mourning. And then Rothbart comes out. They all start fighting. They're fighting. They're fighting. They're fighting.
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And then towards the end, and this is the fun part about Swan Lake, is different companies do different endings, which is, I think, fun and slay. It's kind of like that episode of SpongeBob when you had the DVD where you could pick your own ending. The Flying Dutchman episode, hello, does anyone get me?
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Remember you could pick your own ending where one of them, like Patrick was in that fruit smoothie, and another one was, do y'all remember that? I had that DVD. Anyway. It's very much that. And so some iterations will have Odette and Prince, I think his name is Siegfried, up on this hill, this cliff. And they know that the only way to break the curse is they have to die.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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One of them has to die, right? Because she can never be free because he picked Odile. And so she jumps, she jumps from the cliff, and Siegfried follows her, and that's the end. This one we went to, the end was, it was beautiful. I just got to chill thinking about it. There is this light coming from stage left,
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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it's just this like big spotlight and it's very minimal lights above the dancers and it's almost this godly omnipotent light and the swans form a line around odette and
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
Here's my thing, though, is even things that are sold as organic or marketed as organic or sustainable or all this shit, who's to really say? And of course, there are measuring techniques to measure a company's sustainability. It's actually called a CSR, a... Commercial sustainability report, consumer sustainability report, CSR. Corporate social responsibility. Well, I was in the world.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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her and the prince embrace one last time, and then she does that crazy, like, where it looks like they're floating across the stage, they're like, with their little feet, and she does it backwards, and she's doing her hands like this, oh, I love this one, like, and she just disappears into the light, and she's smiling, and she, like, waves him goodbye, and then, of course, he's heartbroken, devastated, and then it ends.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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So, like, she had died. So good. It's so good. And there's also this move that they all do. They all. It's Odette and Odile. And some of the backup swans. Where they do their hands like this in front of them. And that's to represent the dying swan. They also do this crazy move where I was like...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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They do this crazy move where it looks like when swans sort of fly and then get in the water and just sort of coast. Do you know what I mean? You guys just don't. Okay. You know, or when birds flap and then they get in the water and then they kind of like float on the water.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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They would do a dance move that looked like that, where they would do this and then they would like hop on one leg and it looked like they had hit the water and they were just coasting along the water. I'm picking up on this shit. I'm watching, that looks like a swan. Yeah, that looks like a swan in a lake. Yeah, yeah.
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Stanley, okay, so here's a, I'm talking the whole time narrating it. Okay, so that's actually called a fouette and she did 32 of them. I did say that. I leaned over. I said, she's about to do 32 fouettes. Fouettes are spins with your leg up in the air and it's completely balanced. And you, you spin around, you get back on point every single time. She does it 32 times in a row.
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Also Tchaikovsky did the, uh, he composed the music for Swan Lake and for the other two famous ones, Nutcracker and the third one. And, uh, That music that the 32 Fuentes are to, oh my God, go watch it. Go watch Swan Lake 32 Fuentes compilation on YouTube. It is gag. How the fuck?
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Also, to practice that, you have to be really careful not to let one of your legs become more powerful or muscular than the other. especially for any combinations that require spinning around the stage. I forget what that's called. You're spinning around the whole stage really quickly, and it's on one leg that you do the actual spin on, but you're on two. Okay, hello.
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That, how can you not just like... your right leg is roided up, just like rippling with muscle. And then your left leg is a little noodle. Like, how is it not that? It really takes so much behind the scenes, obviously rehearsals and practice, but these people are athletes. They are athletes, bruh. I'm telling you, it is so impressive. And then they look pretty. They look pretty when they do it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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I literally went home that night and I said, this, this is going to take over. And did I email a local dance company around my neighborhood? Yeah, I did. Yeah, I did. To do an adult ballet class? Yeah, I did. Because I had a moment of just blissful inspiration where someone commented under a Bruce Gruber video, dude, hit up a local dance studio and say, do you do adult ballet intro classes?
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And guess what? I did. And then I got kind of scared and I didn't respond. But they were so nice. They were like, hi, Brittany. Yes, class is on Monday. And I said, oh, I'm nervous.
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But what time is it? What do I need to bring? Is there an entry fee? Do I need to pay? Do I need to have pointe shoes? I don't know.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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They're like, you don't have to buy. You don't have to bring pointe shoes. We're just going to be stretching for first.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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Just being way too defensive. Anyway, yeah, I had emailed a local dance company because I don't give a fuck. But I do. Ultimately, I do. Because there's something very humiliating about dancing. And rewind to me 30 minutes ago being like, just try dancing in your kitchen and I'll really fix everything wrong with your life.
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No, I think it's something embarrassing about, it's like singing in front of your parents. Like, I don't want to do that if I don't have to. I don't want to do that if I don't have to, but I want to. Yeah, I'd like to. One of these days, I'm going to work up the courage and I'm going to go. I'm going to get some of those little dance shoes and I'm just going to go.
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Not pointe shoes, the other ones they wear. They don't have a box in it, but it's like, it's still got the elastic on it. I just really think that that's in my future. It's something that I see for myself. So yeah. Also, you know, in this theme, this ever-present theme of Renaissance woman, that I want to have lived a full life and tried anything that interests me to give it a shot.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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I was on the planet, but I wasn't in the city, okay? Corporate social responsibility is based on the idea that businesses have a duty to society beyond making profits. These practices should include being transparent and ethical and complying with laws and international norms. To that point.
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Do y'all hear how cotton mouthy I am? Fuck this Red Bull flavor, bro. I'm telling you, it's not good. I am going to finish it, though. Yeah, I don't know what's going on with that Red Bull flavor. Pull it off the shelves, team. It's making my tonsils touch. Jack of all trades, master of none.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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That's really, and I know there's like a negative connotation to that a little bit, but also, no, there's not. Jack of all trades, master of none. Someone who's competent in many different skills, but not an expert in any single one. Essentially, someone who dabbles in a variety of things without achieving mastery in any particular area. without achieving mastery. That's tough.
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That's tough to read. It implies that while a person can perform many tasks, they lack the depth of knowledge and expertise to be considered a true master in any of them. Yeah, because that takes a lifetime of work. I just want to be an appreciator of a simple bystander, right? And a true fan of that art form that I like. And you don't have to be great at something to appreciate it.
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You don't have to be great at something to say that you do it. Okay? And hear me when I say that. It's not even like a New Year's resolution. It's just sort of my... Jesus Christ. I am so sorry for all the phlegm in my throat this episode. Yeah, that's just sort of my personal doctrine moving through the rest of my life.
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Because some of the people that I look up to the most or really idolize are that. They are so cultured in a lot of different ways. in a lot of ways that are not related, you know, to know so much about this one thing that is completely disjointed from Swan Lake or it's just like to have, I think to have an across the board knowledge is signs and evidence of a life well-lived.
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And yeah, just to say that you've tried everything. Okay. Here's something completely separate that I also want to talk about. This episode is sponsored by ZocDoc. Why is it that when we need a new doctor, our first instinct is to post in that group chat? Anyone know a good PCP or OBGYN?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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I'm definitely guilty of doing it, but I always end up finding out that the recommendation is not in network or the office is way too far from my house. Enter ZocDoc. ZocTalk is a free app and website where you can search and compare high-quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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We're talking about booking in-network appointments with more than 100,000 doctors across every specialty, from mental health to dental health, primary care to urgent care, and more. You can filter for doctors who take your insurance, are located nearby, and are a good fit for any medical need you may have.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
Also, with hundreds of verified patient reviews, you can find the type of care and support you're looking for, from good bedside manner to fast wait times to doctors with the best listening skills. Once you find the right doctor, you can see their actual appointment openings, choose a time slot that works for you, and click to instantly book a visit.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
Appointments made through ZocDoc also happen fast, typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. You can even score same-day appointments. Everyone knows I used ZocDoc to find my dermatologist, and I am single-handedly keeping his practice in business. Know that. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to ZocDoc.com slash broski to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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To that point, I've talked about greenwashing on here before where companies, specifically car companies, just to highlight one, will do this thing where they'll put a little green leaf next to an option or planes do it too. Like we're going carbon free by, hey, no, you're not. And also that's not going to fix anything. It's a step in the right direction. It's not going to fix anything.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash broski. ZocDoc.com slash broski. Okay, completely separately. I went to NASA. this past week. Hey, the most fun I've ever had. Shout out to the team at NASA, because I got a cold DM from them that was like, Brittany, we'd love to have you. If you're ever in Houston, just come. And I was like, I'm literally going to be in Houston in two weeks.
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And so we coordinated, and I got to go with Tato, bestie Tato, and my mom and dad. How fun is it? We got a VIP tour of NASA, and let me tell you something. A lot of people think that NASA... shut down after they stopped the shuttles. And it's just simply not true. It's not true. You know, for people like me, like on the fringes of... The scientific community. I try my best.
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I try my damnedest to understand. But sometimes that shit is not for me. Okay? Because I'm actually studying on a very hyper-intensive level the plot of Iron Man 1, 2, and 3. And as that relates to... You know, a lot of my scientific understanding comes from the Iron Man universe. And that's not easy for me to admit. It's not fun for me to admit. But it's kind of, you know. So...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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It's just very, my worldview and scientific understanding is very limited because that's not the part of my brain that is there. Okay, when God was sort of cooking me up in the oven, forgot that ingredient. He forgot the science ingredient because y'all watch me struggle through these Google searches. What is centrifugal force? Centrifugal motion. Centrifugal motion. Centrifugal, centrifugal.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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I'm not getting physics. I'm not getting electricity. I'm not really understanding any of it. So a tour like this, imagine my awe and wonder because so much of NASA and what their current missions are, which is, by the way, establishing a home base on the moon, SLEI, maintaining the ISS, International Space Station, SLEI, And third of all, the long-term goal of establishing something on Mars.
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Okay, some form of, like, we're still, and think about this. They've only been really freaking their shit like this for probably 25 years. Like, space exploration is so new. And I know that sounds like a stupid statement, but you would think that, okay, first man on the moon, 1969. We've made great discoveries and breakthroughs since then, but it's really not as much as I thought.
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Like, it's crazy. And a lot of the equipment that is up there and even some of the government buildings that NASA's housed in. And I went to the Johnson Space Center. There's another one in Florida, the Kennedy Space Center. And there's another one in Alabama. And there's another one in Arizona. Or is it New Mexico? There's one in Canada. There's one... I mean, there's all over, right?
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International Space Station, of course, has a bunch of different points globally of if it were to go down, if anything were to happen, it is an international effort, which is truly beautiful. We got to walk through a mock-up of the ISS, which is so neat. And there are different... different areas, they're called nodes of which country sort of not donated, but contributed what.
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And there's an American side, there's a Russian side, a Japanese side, this, that, the other. And it's just all this stuff interests me where our tour guide was saying that it is common courtesy on the ISS, which at any one time probably has about 11 people on it. I think there's seven up there right now. About 11 people can fit on the ISS. Crazy, by the way.
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Because you think it's this huge warship, like, aircraft carrier that has 250 people working on it. Like, I don't know. I don't know why I think they're in Star Wars. I mean, it's very small and contained and... Think about how much preparation and training goes into sending people into space to go be up there and collect samples and do this, do all that. It is so intense.
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Maybe I'm just being doom and gloom today. I don't fucking know. But CSR was my introduction to, oh, everyone's lying to you. When we studied this in college, I was like, oh, I've just sort of been lied to. And how naive to trust that these brands who want me to buy their product would be telling me the truth about what they're doing with my money. You know what I mean? That's on me, actually.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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And so, yeah, only 11 people. It is so specific and selective and for a good reason, right? Okay. So many variables that could go wrong. You need highly trained individuals. 11 people up there. And when you're going back and forth or for whatever reason, like if you're an American in the Russian node, all of the controls and the signs in the Russian node are in Russian.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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And obviously all the ones on the American side are in English. And they said that it is common courtesy when you enter into the Russian side, you should speak Russian. And when Russians come to the American side, they speak English. And it's just this sort of common, like there's banners on the space station. How cute is that? What else?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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They showed us, oh, you know that scene from The Martian where he, those little plant, incubator things where he grows that potato. And it's the most emotional scene in the movie when he runs out of ketchup on that one potato. Yeah, I almost turned the damn movie off. I couldn't handle it. It's too much. That is so scary. Matt Damon is my hero. Matt Damon is just my fucking hero.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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That scene where it's that wall of all the planters. In this mock-up, they had one of those. So cool to see. Where it's like the sun lamps and there's water and you keep them hydrated. Just crazy. We're growing shit in space. And I also did not know that there is evidence on Mars of moving water. Again, I'm not tapped into this shit. I'm not really, that's not for me. I'm not being targeted.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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And when I get TikToks about space, I scroll because they freak me out. But that's the shit I want to see. And so all these formations on Mars, I could be talking out of my ass. Let's Google it. Almost all water on Mars today exists as polar permafrost ice, though it also exists in small quantities as vapor in the atmosphere.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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What was thought to be low-volume liquid brines in shallow Martian soil, also called recurrent slope linae, may be grains of flowing sand and dust slipping downhill to make dark streaks. While most water ice is buried, it's exposed at the surface across several locations on Mars. In the mid-latitudes, it is exposed by impact craters, steep scarps, and gullies. Steep scarps and gullies!
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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Who the fuck wrote this, a pirate? Water ice is also visible at the surface at the North Polar ice cap. Abundant water ice is also present beneath the permanent carbon dioxide ice cap at the Martian South Pole. More than 5 million cubic kilometers of ice have been detected at or near the surface of Mars, enough to cover the whole planet to a depth of 35 meters. Wait, that's scary.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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Even more ice might be locked away in the deep subsurface. Wait, I'm scared. Some liquid water may occur transiently on the Martian surface today, but limited to traces of dissolved moisture from the atmosphere and thin films, which are challenging environments for known life.
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No evidence of present-day liquid water has been discovered on the planet's surface because under typical Martian conditions and ambient atmospheric pressure, warming water ice on the Martian surface would sublime at rates of... See, you're losing me. You're losing me right here.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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Before about 3.8 billion years ago, Mars may have had a denser atmosphere and higher surface temperatures, potentially allowing greater amounts of liquid water on the surface, possibly including a large ocean that may have covered one-third of the planet. Water has also apparently flowed across the surface for short periods at various intervals, more recently in Mars history.
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See what I'm saying, dude? Because he was saying that some of the... movement or tracks in the sand is, or not even sand, the surface of the planet indicates moving water. And I was like, that is crazy. Red rising is happening. It's real. It's real. We're terraforming Mars. We're terraforming the planets. It's just crazy. So yeah, I think, honestly, here's one of my reflections from going to NASA.
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That's on me for being naive and trusting a corporation. And to that point, saw this TikTok the other day, not to get political, saw this TikTok the other day that said, why are we treating the US government like a business? Because if there is one thing that we know to be true about businesses is they don't care about the consumer. And also, I'm not a consumer. I'm a citizen. I have rights.
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First of all, humans are amazing when we work together. there are truly no bounds for what we can accomplish. It left me feeling hopeful. And second of all, we are so limited and bogged down by red tape because NASA is a government agency that contracts companies, commercial, like SpaceX and Blue, whatever the fuck Jeff Bezos is, like all these sort of private companies that they contract
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to either build craft or things like the technology, like Velcro was made for space, I'm pretty sure. You're not allowed to say Velcro though, because that is a, it's copyrighted the way that Kleenex is copyrighted. Velcro. for space. Okay, so I had lied. Essentially, Velcro wasn't developed for NASA, but NASA used it in the Apollo missions.
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Velcro is used in many products, including clothing, footwear, packaging, medical supplies. NASA used Velcro to secure equipment during the Apollo missions. The Velcro brand of hook and loop was invented by a man named George de Mistral in the 40s while hunting in the Jura Mountains in Switzerland.
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He was a Swiss engineer, and he realized that the tiny hooks of the burrs stuck in his pants and in his dog's fur, he wondered how they attached themselves. Because nature is the greatest inspiration. Nature is the blueprint. Have y'all seen those things of like stars in nature? How sometimes on a cellular level, it's a star or how leaves form stars, star fruit, this, that.
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It's like some of these patterns or shapes are truly natural. Like they occur naturally in nature. And it's just amazing. Even when you think about things like a spider web, like, why is it so complex and beautiful? If the goal is just to trap food to eat, why is it beautiful? Why is it so intricately designed? and symmetrical. That's the craziest bullshit is that there is a symmetry in nature.
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And that gets back to like Fibonacci sequence and all this, where for whatever reason, nature is mathematical. And a lot of like, this is a perfect example of he recognized something like, why do birds get caught on things? And what is that technology? And how can we harness that and use it for other purposes? But it was naturally occurring. So, so fucking cool. So fucking cool.
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Yeah, that's what I'm fucking talking about. Things NASA invented.
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memory foam, camera phones, freeze-drying, insulation, solar cells, foil blankets, food safety, water filters, ear thermometers, wireless headphones, cochlear implants, shoe insoles, prosthesis, athletic shoes, LASIK, scratch-resistant lenses, baby formula, cordless tools, dustbusters, smoke detectors, computer mouse, cordless vacuums, Nike Airs? What? See, this is just... I love this shit.
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Anyway, the whole NASA trip was so fun, learned a lot. And I guess I just misunderstood where we're at in the grand scheme of things when it comes to space exploration and space travel. We're not that far. And let me qualify that statement with, we have made leaps and bounds, right? Like, we have done things that... people 400 years ago would call magic. And it is magical.
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And so, of course, recognizing how incredible, especially when internationally these teams work together, what we can achieve and how far we've come since the 60s or the 70s, especially through all the government red tape, what we've been able to accomplish. However, It just makes me so upset. Like, what are we missing out on?
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Because NASA and what it's able to do and what it's able to greenlight is limited by who the fuck sits in the Oval Office. Like, it's just so endlessly annoying and makes me mad. So very cool, though. I got my little NASA sticker on my thing. Got my little NASA sticker. I'm a fan. And with that, I'll leave you with my song of the week. It is My Love Will Never Die live by Hosier.
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You know what I mean? I'm not just... Anyway, saw that and I was like, it's so fucking true. It's so fucking true. She's spitting. That is so true. Okay, let's move on.
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This is on the extended version of self-titled. I, can I admit something? I'd never heard it until like two weeks ago. And I said, My God. So lock into that. Super, super good. If you want merch, go to broski.shop. Go subscribe to Royal Court now. Now. We've got a crazy guest coming. Y'all are going to freak the fuck out. Very, very crazy guest.
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And yeah, keep your eyes peeled for an exciting project coming out later this month. Love you guys. Bye.
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You may be wondering, Brittany, did you go to the New York City Ballet? Brittany, I just had this feeling that you went to the New York City Ballet. I want to put all of your worries to ease. I did go to the New York City Ballet, and I did actually buy this beautiful blouse, this beautiful sweatshirt. that has all the positions, okay? First position, second position, fifth position.
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And you dirty gutter-minded bitches are not, I'm not talking about sexual positions. I'm not talking about Eusexua by FKA Twigs, which by the way, that album is crazy. That album's crazy. Sometimes I'll get super high and listen to it and I get scared. Sometimes I get high to listen to FKA Twigs and get scared. But it's all love. It's all in a good way.
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Sometimes it's just a bit too much for me when I'm in that mental state. I tried to get high and listen to Sleep Token the other day. Almost had a fucking panic attack. Damn near had to take myself to the hospital. So don't do that. I like to reserve, you know, Still Woozy and Sports, the band Sports, and California Honey Drops for those sort of scenarios.
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86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
They make just great, oh, who's another one? I can't bear for you. I can't bear for you. Who sings that? Disco Surf? Disco... Disco... Surf Curse.
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86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
That song... Look, if you have the means... If you're in a state where it's deemed safe and doable, go ahead, pop a little Eddie for me and listen to this song and just close your eyes and dance. When was the last time you bitches had just danced? Just with reckless abandon. Just close your eyes and dance in the kitchen. Have you done that? Have you thought about Dancing to Disco by Surf Curse?
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Release date 2019. Just close your eyes and dance around for a second. Might help. Look, it's not going to fix it, but it might help. Now, back to Eusexua. Yeah, that kind of freaks me out sometimes because she is, and I know this to be true, a goddess locked in human form. Do you remember from Pirates of the Caribbean? Calypso.
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How she was like a goddess and she was trapped in a human body and her and Davy Jones had been lovers and they had been torn apart. I imagine FKA Twigs, her energy and her being is too divine and it is too sacred. And I think her creativity is just like, she is leaps and bounds ahead of the rest of us. Someone put a curse on her and trapped her in human form.
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And I'd like to get to the bottom of that. So we're going to get the Broski Nation research team on that really quick. And we'll get back. We'll give you progress and updates as they come in. Back to the ballet. How the fuck did I get started talking about that? I went to the New York City Ballet. You hear all the mucus in my throat?
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So me and Stanley went and it was in the Lincoln Center, the Lincoln, the David H. Koch Theater. Of course, me and bro went to the cock theater. Yeah, he loves that one. He loves that theater. It's his favorite theater. So we went, and first of all, super busy, completely sold out, which is so heartwarming. And there's a part B to what I'm about to say.
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Actually, I'm going to address that first, and then I'm going to get into the part A. There is clearly, when it comes to the arts, like Broadway, any live play that's in a professional capacity, any musical, any ballet, any opera, things like this that are live performance theater, there is a barrier to entry.
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These tickets were so expensive and it really just, I don't know when this happened because I remember going to see like Lion King, the musical with my mom in middle school and being blown away. We were pretty close up and I can't imagine they were that expensive of tickets. You know what I mean? Because that had to be like 2009, 2010. These fucking ballet tickets, one ticket was $250.
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What are you talking about? All of this ties into the monopoly that Live Nation and Ticketmaster have on literally everything, how that form of art should not be gatekept because of finances. It actually enrages me. Like, it actually makes me so upset. that you cannot spend $40 on a ticket to go see a ballet. And that may spark something in you that, you would never otherwise know.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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There is a barrier to entry on the arts, and it's something that really, really bothers me. It's just been something I've been thinking about. And thank fuck for YouTube and all these things where you can see some of these most famous ballerinas in the world from Russia or France or London, wherever, and you can watch their variations and you can watch their performances in live 4K.
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But nothing beats watching it in person and hearing the tap of the pointe shoe box on the stage and seeing the makeup and the sweat and remembering that these people, they're doing it right there and they do it every single day. They do it sometimes multiple times a day, I mean, it's just, it's psychotic. And also Swan Lake, it's the same ballerina that dances for Odette and Odile. It is nuts.
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If you know Dahlia, whatever her name is, Dalida, I found my love in Portofino. Guys, what are we sipping on this morning? First of all, welcome back to The Berserk Report. Second of all, check out this Coca-Cola can mug. The bounds of human innovation. We really hit it with this one. We really did it with this one. Mm-mm. Now, what's in there, you may be asking?
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86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
It's nuts to me. Me just marveling at like live performance.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
It's not even on YouTube on my phone. It was fantastic. I cannot... Like, I just don't. I was so excited, and the excitement did not stop. Afterward, I was like... And Stanley kept asking me all these questions. Sorry, my mouth is watering crazy right now. I'm trying this new Red Bull flavor, and it's kind of making my throat close up. Strawberry apricot? Like, my throat's kind of closing up.
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86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
It's kind of... Maybe we might need to take a break. Yeah, not loving this flavor. Me looking at the thing like it's, I can read it. It's just my Coke mug. Yeah, strawberry apricot Red Bull. I don't know what you put in there. It's anti-Britney venom. You put anti-Britney venom in there because you know I flock. I flock to Red Bull like a snake to a rodent.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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You put Red Bull within a 10 mile radius of me, I'm going to sniff it out and I'm going to sink my teeth into it. This, I don't know, man, my tonsils are kind of swelling. I don't know what you're doing. What's going on with strawberry apricot, team? See, this is what I get for straying from blueberry. Blueberry is my go-to. It's my tried and true. I know it well. I know the effects.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
It's almost a part of me. You know, I've got however many arteries coming out of my heart. There's a fifth one. Aren't there four? There's a fifth one there. And that's just sort of straight Red Bull up to the heart. And it just... I'm like Iron Man. I'm like Iron Man in Iron Man 2 when he creates that new element. He discovers that new element.
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86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
and they're running tests on it, and he goes, tastes like coconut and metal. And if you've seen Iron Man 2, you know that was a great impression. It was a great impression. Y'all don't get me. God, I'm leaking. My tonsils are swelling up. My nose is running. I'm drooling. Fuck! Okay.
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86: Red Bull Turned me into Iron Man
Like I was saying, in Iron Man 2, and he discovers that new element, and he's like, he puts it into the arc reactor in his chest, which of course is a part of him, because it's magnetically keeping the shrapnel from going to his heart. Are you guys keeping up?
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Because when there was that bomb blast in Iron Man 1, which was, and not to get too deep into Iron Man, because I will, because remember, Tony Stark goes out to the desert, in the Middle East to go see what Stark Industries weapons, to give a weapons display, right? An exhibition of what the new Stark Industries weapons of mass destruction can do.
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And he is getting a contract with the US government. Well, of course it goes wrong. And of course there's other things at work, but he watches, in a very dramatic hyper-political scene, he watches the same weapons that he designed to kill and maim foreign humans kill American servicemen. And he has this full circle moment of like, I'm part of the problem. Right?
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And so therefore, from then on out, when he gets back to the U.S., everything's fine. Sorry if I'm ruining the plot. It came out in 2008. Fucking watch it, maybe. When he gets back to the U.S., he immediately gets this press conference. He gives a press conference where all these reporters are there and...
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He completely uproots and remolds the mission statement of Stark Industries to be that they are going to be focusing on scientific research. They are no longer going to be creating these weapons of mass destruction because he's seen firsthand the ripple effect, right? And now how ridiculous is that?
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That you have to be over there and be personally affected by it to realize, I'm aiding the war effort. Negative connotation, right? Anyway, Iron Man, love that movie, great movie. Now, in the bomb blast, part of the whole thing is when he's giving this crazy Stark Industries weapons display, something explodes, and he's in the splash zone, so to speak. He gets riddled with shrapnel.
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a little bit of lead, a little bit of cyanide, right? I'm trying to do this thing where I'm doing small doses. You got to work yourself up. Every morning, I take a capsule of lead, a capsule of Red 40, a capsule of microplastics, and a capsule of cyanide. Because apparently, cyanide is in tampons, right? What are we talking about there? And why is that? Why is that even...
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And someone takes him in as sort of like prisoner of war type of thing, realize he's a scientist, and they want him to recreate a missile. And in the meantime, because he's my goat, because he's Tony Stark, he's my goat, he creates the Iron Man suit. which is this prototype with the help of the scientist that saved his life, and thus we have Iron Man.
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82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
I'm staring from across. I'm across the street and I'm staring at you like this. POV, you're a man with a mustache. I'm across the street. Okay. We lock eyes and I'm doing the Miley Cyrus stare with blue eyes. And then a bus passes in front of us. And then when the bus passes, I'm gone. That's how I feel towards men these days. I'm like, And then the bus passes and then I'm gone.
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And then he's like, what the fuck? And he looks behind him. I'm behind him. But I never say anything. I'm sort of, I'm moaning Myrtle. I'm like floating around him in a circle. I'm Nosferatu. You will bounce on it. That audio is the funniest thing I've ever heard. Shout out to whoever made that. Shout out to the creator who made the POV Nosferatu saying, you will bounce on it. Okay.
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Yeah, so just wanted to get that out of the way. As I saw TikTok this morning that about brought me to my knees. I need a man with a mustache. Bad, but not that bad. Not that bad. I'm not willing to do anything for it or risk anything for it. If it happens, it happens. Okay. And I can admire beauty when I see it, but I don't need to own it.
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I don't need to be in a situationship with it and have it lead me on and leave me. You know what I mean? Okay, moving on to what I really, really want to talk about. Now, here's the mother tucking meat and potatoes of the episode that I really wanted to get into. Book club, book club, book club. Okay, this is the book club episode where I didn't tell you what books to prepare for.
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So if you've read them, great. If you haven't, you should. That's sort of what the Broski Nation book club is. It could be any book in existence and you come to book club and I'm like, you did the assigned reading, right? And you're like, what is I'm reading? And I'm like, that just docked you pay. That just docked you pay and food.
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Your rations were just slashed in half because you didn't read Sherlock Holmes. And did I ever tell you to read Sherlock Holmes? No, but you should just know to. Because I'm consistently sending out telepathic messages to all of Broski Nation, okay? If you feel a brain zap one day, that's me trying to get in there. That's me trying to get up in there. And you're resisting.
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And for that, I'm cutting your pay. If you're, my right temple is pulsing, that's me being like, Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes, you will bounce on it. And that's y'all resisting. Okay. That's me. If you see me appear to you in a dream, that's for real. I've taken on my final form, which is Nosferatu. This episode is sponsored by SeatGeek.
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It's a new year and I'm hellbent on leaving my house more, which I really don't do. So enter today's sponsor, SeatGeek. With over 28 million downloads, SeatGeek is the number one rated ticketing app. And to celebrate the new year, SeatGeek gave me a special hookup where anyone can use my code Broski2025 for 10% off their next purchase on SeatGeek.
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Everything I consume is made of plastic. I'm turning into a fucking plastic carton. There's plastic in my blood.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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Take out your phone, open the SeatGeek app, and add code BROSKI2025 to your account to make sure you get 10% off your next set of tickets. That's code Broski2025 for 10% off any tickets on SeatGeek. Just click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thank you, SeatGeek. This episode is sponsored by a PDS deck.
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pdsdebt.com slash broski. Let's get into it. The first book that I really want to talk about is, I recently was in, well, when I was in Paris, there is a super famous old bookstore, an English language bookstore called Shakespeare and Company. And you know how like every city has that, it's like the famous bookstore. In New York, it's the Strand bookstore. One of them is called The Strand.
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There's some other super famous ones in London. In Austin, there are some. And there's one super cool in downtown Los Angeles that... I could describe it, but I don't know if you guys would know the name. It's like multiple stories, and it's got an arch that's made of books. Anyway, you know, just like an iconic bookstore. Well, it's called Shakespeare and Company in Paris, and I went with my mom.
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Hey guys, just doing a quick millennial cringe warm-up this morning. Okay guys, here's my five-step millennial cringe facial warm-up for the morning. You're going to hit one of these. Then you're going to hit one of these. Oh my God, they used to love that one. You tuck your front lip. So if you've got a front lip, where's your back lip, do you think? I can show you some back lips. Anyway, sorry.
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There is a line out the door to get in, first of all. And I was like, well, what the fuck's so special about this place? It's got great history there. Walt Whitman, I believe, used to frequent it. Now let me go ahead and fact check that. Shakespeare and Company. Why famous? I love why use many word when few word do trick. I'm more than I can do. My final four. I have a fuzzy mustache and glasses.
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A Harry Potter scar appears on my forehead. No, please. That's how I feel. When you start quoting The Office, I've never even fucking seen The Office. That actually, I just pissed myself off. I just made myself very, very irrationally mad. Ignore that. Shakespeare and Company in Paris is famous for being a literary haven for writers and a center for innovative publishing.
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So I guess oat milk's out. So I go look up what's in macadamia nut milk plastic. Oh, perfect. So this plastic's better for me than the other plastic. Okay. Thank you for clearing that up. What the fuck? And also, what are you going to do? Go to a coffee shop and be like, half a teaspoon of macadamia nut milk, please. I hate that feeling. Can I get the milk alternative? My tummy, I be shitting.
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The store has been a refuge for generations of writers, including Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and James Joyce. No fucking way. It was originally opened in 1919. It closed in 1941 during the Nazi occupation of Paris. The current incarnation of the store opened in 1951 and was renamed Shakespeare and Company in 1964 by George Whitman. Okay, so is George Whitman Walt Whitman?
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Walter Whitman Jr. Okay, so that's actually not. Maybe George. Maybe it's his son. It's his sibling.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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Oh, Captain, my captain is by Walt Whitman. I had no fucking clue. I seriously had no fucking clue, y'all. Okay, back to Shakespeare and Company. So we go in and it's relatively pretty small. Like it's not the biggest bookstore you've ever been in, but it's honestly a great collection of a bunch of different genres, both old and new.
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There's a whole separate section for like prose and theater and plays, music. And then there's a whole section for like Children, young adult, and then there's mystery, then there's philosophy and whatever. Then there's actually an upstairs area where you can just go read. And of course there was a line to get up there too, which is also pressure. Like I'm sitting up here reading.
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I don't want, why is there a line of people coming up to be here? Like I have a time slot. And so we go in and I was looking for some more Orwell. And I was also looking for... Oh, I read this cute other book called Half a Soul. I'll get there in a second.
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But I was looking for some more books like that, you know, like a sort of romantic-y, but also any classics I could find if they were printed in a cool cover. So I'm just sort of perusing, and I come across a study in Scarlet, which is a Sherlock Holmes novella. One of the first major ones that sort of everything after that started the Sherlock Holmes franchise, so to speak.
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At least the massive popularity of it. Studying Scarlet was published in 1887, I want to say. 1887, I'm a genius. It was published in 1887. And honestly, so Arthur Conan Doyle, you hear about him a lot. He is Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. He's the famous creator of the Sherlock Holmes character and world. And he himself was a very interesting person, trained as a doctor, He was a military man as well.
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And a lot of the, I would say, of course, you know, you write what you know. A lot of the wherewithal that both Holmes and Dr. Watson have come from Arthur Conan Doyle, because of course they do. And the actual character of Sherlock Holmes and all of his eccentricities was based on an old professor that Arthur Conan Doyle had. And,
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When he was in school, just this sort of batty old professor who could make incredible conclusions or deductions from the smallest of details. And that's sort of the whole idea of what Sherlock Holmes is. If you've never read any of his stories, if you've never seen the show or any of the movies, if you just know him as, you know, the silly character with a pipe and the little hat.
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It is so worth the read. Sherlock Holmes, y'all know that I love a quirky, hyper-intelligent protagonist. And not in a sort of cringe way, but in a he's so genius, he's misunderstood type of way. I think those characters are so magnetic and And a few off the top of my head are sort of going to be like a Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean. Definitely like a Sherlock Holmes.
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Definitely like... I'm going to throw another Robert Downey Jr. in there. I'm actually going to... Oh, Mando. Mandalorian's another one. These characters that just seem to have all the answers. And even if they don't, they fake like they do, and then they figure it out. And they do that using... the information available to them.
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Like that's the, like when you order a milk replacement, a milk alternative, you are admitting to the cashier that you are of a weak breed. Could I get the oat milk? Okay, you are at the bottom of the food chain. That's what you're admitting, okay? My gut bubbles when I smell milk. That's what you're telling them. You're communicating that in a roundabout way.
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Like at any given time, you're capable of, you know, it's just, okay, you get what I'm trying to say. So Arthur Conan Doyle creating Sherlock Holmes was a sort of passing, it was a short story at first that he published in either a newspaper or a magazine. People fucking loved it. He was a man of many different disciplines. I mean, he lived many lives in the 60, 70 years that he lived.
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And just through all those different fields of study or interest, like chemistry, like medicine, like language, like travel, all of these things, he was very well-traveled, had a good grasp of understanding on the world. Later in his life, however, he had a very intense interest in spiritualism.
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Which, honestly, the more that I was reading about Arthur Conan Doyle, I was like, that makes so much sense. Because there is this sort of mysticism to Holmes where he is, of course, a realist. And he's very tapped into human nature despite being so unhuman himself. He doesn't give in to the temptations or even have the urges of a romantic relationship or any desires that the normal person has.
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would have of like greed, envy, this, that. His mind rebels at the idea of what a Victorian English society is, you know? And he was able to look at it with a critical eye while at the same time, because no human is truly black or white. It's very nuanced. He's able to look at society with a very critical eye and, in fact, give more credibility to the lower classes than the upper classes.
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Because the lower classes, you know, he had a sense of... shared sense of identity with them, I guess, where he was well-to-do because he was a detective, a private consulting detective, that he made a livable wage, of course. But yeah, I mean, I think he finds that there's a raw honesty and a respectable sort of struggle within the lower class that he was much more willing to take on those cases.
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Of course, with a... a shared interest in the upper nobility cases as well, because those are fucking tea. And across the board, human nature is the same. And those are sort of the conclusions that he's able to come to. It doesn't matter if you're rich, if you're poor, whatever. Human nature is human nature.
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Conan Doyle's interest in spiritualism, while at the same time the natural sciences, whatever, make for a very interesting character, because those two things are opposed. And the beautiful thing about Sherlock Holmes and the way that these stories are told is that it differs from the sort of contemporary detective novel of the time, which, by the way, most were written by women. Love and love.
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But there are two sort of distinctive ways of writing a detective novel. And there was the sort of archetype that a lot of these women followed. And then there was Arthur Conan Doyle's, which was told through the lens of Sherlock Holmes's counterpart. Dr. John Watson. And they come to know each other through a sort of seeking a roommate arrangement where they actually move in together.
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They meet each other and get along quite well, move in. And Dr. Watson, who is an Afghan war veteran, used to be a doctor in the military, becomes taken with Holmes. He is a mystery to him. He's intrigued by Sherlock Holmes, his comings and goings. He starts studying him almost. as a sort of patient.
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And all the while, he's recording the escapades that Holmes goes on, the cases that are brought to him, how he reasons through them using purely logic and observation. And Holmes' whole philosophy is, you see, but you do not observe. And one of the examples that he gives in, I think it's Scandal in Bohemia, he says, how many times have you walked up the stairs, the staircase here at this apartment?
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And there's something very humiliating about that. It's a humiliation ritual, okay? When I'm like, could I get the almond milk? Oh, you're a puss? Yeah. Yeah, sometimes my butthole kind of bleeds when I poop. Sometimes I have milk and then the rest of my day is ruined. I have to stay home. Oh, not the cow milk for me. I'll actually have a fucking reaction. Yeah, I had a Cortado.
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And Watson's like, hundreds of times. I mean, I lived here for, you know, however long. And Holmes goes, how many steps are on the staircase? And Watson's like, I don't fucking know. I didn't count. And he goes, oh, yes, exactly. That's it. You see, but you do not observe. A lot of the time, what Holmes's process is, is you take in the, I'm addicted to Sherlock Holmes. I have a tattoo about it.
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You take in the details of someone and, from the details of markings on someone's skin, the state of their shoes, of the knees of their trousers for a man, or the gloves of a woman, things like this, ink stains, anything like this can really give you insight into who is this person? What do they do? I've just met them. They're a stranger to me.
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But off the bat, give me five minutes of observation and I can tell you most likely their occupation, what troubles them. And as they're describing the predicament they're in, context clues of what they have on or the particular ways in which they're behaving can lend itself to you figuring, helping figure it out. You know what I mean?
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It's as much a game of criminal investigation as it is just deducing human nature and how we lie. We think we're really sneaky when we lie. We're not. If to the trained eye, you know when someone is lying and there's telltale signs. So he incorporates all of these things and he reveals his method at the end. So here's an example as well. I was like, I love him so much.
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Dr. Watson and Holmes are no longer roommates. Watson moves out. He gets married. He comes back to visit Holmes. And Holmes is, you know, a tweaker, like always. He's on coke or he's doing this. He was addicted to opium. He's whatever. And he's, I've come across this incredible discovery. Just like super, I love a character like that. You know, he's not really there with you.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
But at the same time, he's very there. And Watson walks up the stairs. They haven't seen each other in a few months. And the first thing Holmes says is, You've gained weight. Seven and a half pounds. And I see you're back in practice. And you've been experimenting with something. And Watson goes, how the fuck did you know that? Oh, and he said, you've been out in the country.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
It's been wet recently. Where did you go? And Watson's like, what the fuck? He had a top hat on that had a bulge in it at the top, a slight smell of, I forget the exact term they used, but it's essentially like a cleansing agent, like a chloroform or like a formaldehyde type of smell that was used a lot back then in laboratories.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
And Holmes goes, I see what could only be a stethoscope hidden secretly in your top hat, protruding and making a weird mark. You smell like whatever this chemical was that is used in medical offices. Your shoes have... some scoring on them from where it looks like your housemaid tried to scrape off mud, but she's not skilled and so she scraped your shoes. There's still mud left on them.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
On top of that, something like one of your hands is more swollen than the other. It's all these different things where he's like, It's very easy, really, if you know what to look for. And of course, he has an existing relationship with Watson where he knows he's been a doctor, he just got married, all these things. So it's using logic as well as Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
I guess it was okay. Three shots of espressos, you know, that'll do it. And I had that about 30 minutes ago. So I don't know. How long does it take coffee to kick in for real? How long does it take coffee to kick in? Within 10 to 30 minutes, but can take up to 60 minutes. Okay, great. The peak concentration of caffeine in the blood occurs after about 45 minutes.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. ,,,,,,,
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
Y'all, once again on this podcast, I am a ticking time bomb. Also, the last two episodes... I filmed in the same day. Surprise. I took an edible for one of them and then I felt, and it kicked in halfway through. And then I filmed the second episode. So I was just, I heard a damn guy. And I did not even, I watched it back and I was like, good Lord. I really thought I was like, they can't tell. Yay.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
You can tell. Hey, yeah, you can tell. Anyway, did a Cortado and now I'm doing, I'm working through these. Okay. Red Bull sent me these for free, these watermelon fucking. And I made the mistake. Because I'm only human and I bleed when I have a milk. They sent me these. It's watermelon Red Bull.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
Because otherwise, if I was just reading this like raw-dogging Sherlock Holmes and I wasn't familiar with British culture or especially Victorian culture, I'd be like, why do they talk like that? Like, it does not make sense. But of course, that's one of my special interests is etymology and how syntax and grammar and all these things come to be and how they come to be out of fashion sometimes.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
and how we change and swap things out to make it more modern, and what our vernacular is, and how we lost the British U in color and glamour. Actually, it's still in glamour, but you know what I mean. Why do these changes happen, and what is the significance of them? And it's very interesting to read these because it's so indicative of its time and And I love that.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
Well, of course, the first time that I had ever tried this was in a sort of watermelon Red Bull vodka that I made myself that I almost puked up later. So naturally, when this sort of flavor combo hits my palate, I want to gag. And that is not Red Bull's fault. It's certainly sort of Pavlovian conditioning that I've done to myself.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
I want to feel like I am existing in the world that Holmes is in. And I think Doyle did a great job of really throwing you headfirst into nasty Victorian London. And that's another thing that he gets praised for is he's not showing you like, for example, there's a Sherlock Holmes short called Scandal in Bohemia, which Bohemia is now, I believe it's in the Czech Republic.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
But it's been owned by a few, you know, it's kind of like a Texas. Like Texas has been owned by so many different countries and now it's Texas. But now Bohemia is in the Czech Republic. Anyway, there is a story where the king of Bohemia comes to consult Sherlock Holmes because there is a compromising photograph of him and a woman.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
And he needs Holmes' help locating the photograph and destroying it. because so as it cannot be used as blackmail later. It shows the scandal of the upper, you know, nobility and things like that, where these matches must be handled privately, you see. It shows that while at the same time showing the really dirty, unseen corners of Victorian London.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
Like I mentioned earlier, sort of like the opium crisis that was happening and other sort of just taboo things. They talk about brothels and some known streets where madams are and, you know, the sort of underbelly of London, of industrial London that is not, it's not a shining example of what the British Empire wanted to be known for, you know? And I think that it's an important choice
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
that Doyle made to be like, this is what I want to talk about. And it's shocking. And it's real. And although these stories are set, they're fictitious stories, they're in a very real circumstance and a very real narrative context. So I really, I appreciate that because, yeah, I don't want to hear about how fucking great the British Empire is.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
I want to know about how it sucked and the forgotten corners of it. Another thing I was going to say about Holmes is, yeah, He's so incredibly beautifully critical of Victorian society and, you know, how people compose themselves and behave, while at the same time being a loyalist to the king.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
Very complex, very nuanced, very, you know, you want to love Holmes and all of his eccentricities, but that's one I can't really get behind. And it's at odds with everything about Holmes. You know, he's always, I don't know, just to be for father and country. It's just a crazy choice. Which makes me think, was Arthur Conan Doyle a monarchial loyalist? Who's to say?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
Anyway, here are some other just book-related things that I kind of wanted to get into. Another thing I learned from Sherlock Holmes, again, just like a living and mentally living in this Victorian time, Women who have been married would sign their name like this. So let's say, who the fuck am I marrying? Sort of like a Killian Murphy type situation, okay?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
where now every time I taste the watermelon Red Bull, I also taste Tito's vodka. And I am a fan of both of those things individually, but not together, I would not recommend.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
So this would be how I would type my name if I was recently married in Victorian London. If you guys care. Brittany. Sorry, if I was recently married to Killian Murphy in Victorian London. Okay? Brittany Murphy. Nay. Broski. Okay? That is how it keeps your maiden name so it's not confusing. Now, listen to this.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
Then I started to wonder, did this come from, because ne means born, which honestly makes sense because in Spanish it's nathí, like I was born here or I was born this name, I was born whatever, nathí. This is, to me, when I hear ne, I think of someone being like, Spoiled. Nay. Rotten. You know what I mean?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
Where it's like you have a word and then you've thought of a better word or you've thought of a contracting word or a contradicting word and you say, nay, this. But it's not because that's spelled N-A-Y. So I don't know why I brought that up because I thought they'd be related and they're not. Okay? So that's a cute little fun fact for you guys.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
Okay, here are two other books that I want to talk about very quickly. I finished this book that was just a cute little recommendation from TikTok called Half a Soul. Oh my God. Y'all, five stars. Five stars. It's a standalone book. This author... So this book is a Regency fairy tale. Hey, I'm locked the fuck in. Regency era fairy... My penis just got hard.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
My dick just got hard because the wire just hit. You know what I'm saying? This book was so fucking cute. It was so well written. It is about Regency era London where this family lives in the countryside. And they're brought to London for, what's that called? For the season and the time. It's very Bridgerton coded, okay?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
Uses all the same terms, all the same sort of social expectations and faux pas, whatever. It kept my attention the whole time. It is a, not enemies to lovers, but I would say it's a sort of strangers to lovers. Strangers to friends, to close confidant to lovers. And it's just a very... simple, well-written story. The magic is easy to understand.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
They play with different realms without it being too overwhelming. The love story is so cute. It's not smutty. It's just a cute little story. And I was like, oh my God, I wish these characters would continue into a second and third book. And they don't. But this author, let me look up her name. This author does a series called Regency Fairy Tales. And so there's other Olivia Atwater.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
So there's other stories, but they don't have my beloved characters, who are named Dora and Elias. Lord Solcier. Elias. Anyway, this book, I cannot recommend it enough. If you're looking for just a short little palate-cleansing read, loved this. Loved it. I also read... Let's talk about this for a second, okay? I will not be reading Onyx Storm. And let me tell you why.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
And me as a 27-year-old woman was like, candy in my drink! Yes! Candy, candy! 27. Okay, walk, don't run. Wait. Run, don't walk to try the watermelon Jolly Rancher fucking sugary drink. Sugary poo-poo in your diaper drink. Me like, okay, where can I find that? I just picked a wedgie. Okay, so update on that is I'm about three espresso shots and a watermelon Red Bull deep.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
Not a big fan of Rebecca Yaros as a person. Some of her politics are kind of concerning to me. And then I have heard nothing but negative reviews about Onyx Storm. They're saying that this feels like they're calling it... They're calling it the ninth Star Wars movie. They're saying it's very bad, very bad.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
And I was like, I don't want to spend $30 fucking dollars on a hardback copy of Onyx Storm just for it to piss me off. People are saying that it is no more storyline than Iron Flame, which is about to piss me off because Iron Flame was bad. It felt like she wrote herself into a wall when it came to the magic system.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
I don't know how your magic system works because you don't know how your magic system works. How am I supposed to follow along with you? What the fuck is a ward? What is a ward? And then the dragons are mad at each other, and then they're mad at each other, and then they're fucking, and then they're horny, but they won't fuck.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
And then I also saw some spoilers, because who gives a fuck, that she writes it in like a Gen Z vernacular. What? that part um that's not how i expected my monday to go like that type of shit where i'm like i don't want to this is a romantic put me in that world i'm trying to escape from my world I don't want to read TikTok language on my fucking book.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
For that reason, it doesn't expand upon the narrative that the cliffhanger left us on in Iron Flame. It's more miscommunication trope, which is my worst, it is my least favorite thing you could ever put in a book. It's two characters willfully misunderstanding each other with no conflict resolution skills. That's going to piss me off.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
I don't even know if... I think I was seeing some notes about it being smutty, but it's like almost forced. Like it felt... I just... I'm not interested. And that is such a shame because I really enjoyed Fourth Wing. I think it set up a beautiful world and a cool place for the story to go. There was some unnecessary tragedy in Iron Flame, Onyx Storm. I really don't... I'm not interested.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
And it's so thick. And so I'm seeing these people finish the book and be like... what the fuck happened? And that is a poorly written book. If you're at the end of the book, like, what the fuck did I just read? That's bad. And then I saw another stat the other day that was like, Onyx Storm is the fastest selling book in the last 20 years. And I was like, what a fucking joke.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
So I'm not really interested. If y'all are, well, what's her on Extraordinary? Not reading it. I don't really give a shit. Okay, some other things really, really quick. I went to Fashion Week. What the fuck? Who let me into Fashion Week? I went with Patu, the most fun you could ever think of. Went with Patu, they dressed me and my mom so sweet. We had a blast.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
It's also, can I just say, like as a child of Tumblr, where I've been exposed to like Jean Paul Gaultier, Runway 2003, fucking all that shit since Tumblr and thinking, this feels like a different world. I will never be in this world, especially as a bigger person. It is psychotic to now be like, I'm sitting front row at some of these shows. Patu is, I love Patu.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
I felt like a bad bitch in that outfit. And it's so playful and fun. And it plays with shapes and textures. And Zooey Deschanel was there. And Mindy Kaling. And it's just cool. It was very, very cool. And I'm just shocked that I'm in that conversation. You know what I mean? I'm so grateful. I had such a fucking blast. But yeah, that was something that...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
Shout out, Patu, for being size inclusive, because that's a big thing. We've been talking about this for a while, me and Team Broski. I've always been interested in fashion, and it's fun. Fashion is fun. It's fun to take risks in and do something interesting. No one wants to see you in a bodycon dress on the fucking carpet, girl. Give us something. and some fun glam.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
Like that's why people gag for chapels because here's someone with a fucking vision. Here's someone with a vision. Please, God. So I think it's fun. When I do a carpet, when I did the Wicked carpet or Gladiator or any of the Star Wars carpets I've been to, play with that. Don't make it a costume, but play with it as a sort of visual inspiration. And me and my stylist, Kat DePaul, we fucking eat.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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It is fun. And I'm not really worried about being like the most glamorous on the carpet. I want to be the most interesting, like, but with a very polished taste level. That's where I'm coming from. Growing up and trying to find brands that, first of all, even give a shit about big fat bitches like me. It's like, I can't understand for the life of me why it's so fucking hard.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
Just make it a little bigger. It's because some of these companies have a complex about dressing fat bodies and they need to get over it. It's really nasty. So shout out to Patu because they have a pretty size inclusive range. I was shocked that it fit me and I was like, this is great. So I think more of these designer houses need to... Oh my God, Gautier actually did a...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
They had a bigger girl in their runway show. And I was like, thank fuck. My God. It's just awesome. It's awesome to see. And I don't want to say this in a way that pits bodies against each other. That's not what I mean by this. But what I mean to say is sometimes a garment can be sold better if it's on a curvy body. I believe it. You know what I mean?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
It's all the sensual essence of a woman in couture like that or in a gown or a garment that just... There's something about a fuller body that shows it off. You know what I mean? The beautiful shapes and textures... And I think that for whatever reason, we're back in this Kate Moss, coke head runway model era where it's all about getting thin. Get skinny, get skinny, get skinny.
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And I don't know if that's... You know, like it's, we're just really not in a mental headspace right now as a country to bring that back when, you know, it's just overwhelming and exhausting all the time. Eggs are about to be $15 a carton and gas is going to be $150 to fill up your fucking tank. And it's just like, And we're having an ED crisis on top of that. Give me a fucking break.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
So, I don't know. The one good thing I will say about whatever the fuck is about to happen politically and in the country is hopefully recession pop is back. Bring back recession pop. We need to get back into the club. I've been seeing a lot of sort of, you know, we're all in agreement here that when shit like this happens... There needs to be an outlet of joy.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
There needs to be an outpouring of love in a community and celebrating life with people that give a shit about you. And then we tackle the problems of tomorrow together. You know what I mean? Like it goes hand in hand. It can't just all be doom scrolling and fucking this country's all the time. Like find pockets of joy for yourself. So I will leave you with that.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
And I want to say the song of the week is One Second. Okay, I've got two songs of the week. One of them is Café con Ron. Porta by Bonnie. And the other one is Arms Length by Sam Fender. Those are my two songs of the week. Sam Fender going on tour. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Okay, love you guys. If you want merch, go to broski.shop. That's pretty much all I have to say.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
Okay, so let's do 64. Calculator. 64 times 3 plus 80. Fuck me. Okay, so... Okay, so I've got 272 milligrams of caffeine right now in my system.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
Go watch Royal Court. Go watch Royal Court. Please go watch it. Go subscribe to it. I'm not joking anymore. Okay, love you guys. Bye.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
Can pregnant ladies not have caffeine? What, is that going to make your baby have ADHD? Can pregnant ladies, can pregnant women have caffeine? Yes, pregnant women can consume caffeine in moderation. Excessive caffeine consumption during pregnancy over 300 milligrams a day has been linked to an increased risk of premature birth. I did not know that. Good thing I'm not pregnant. Okay.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
Anyway, yeah, they used to tuck their top lip up under their gums so their teeth, it looks like a rat. Yeah, I used to hit that one in middle school sometimes. I'm not even going to lie. I used to hit that one. And I was like, God, I'm killing them. I'm killing them. And can I be honest? I get some of those millennial cringe compilations on Instagram. I watch them all the way through every time.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
What the fuck was I talking about? Okay, so those are the sort of things I wanted to get out of the way before we get into the actual meat and potatoes of the episode. Because I'm about to go hog wild. I'm about to go pork and beans on this microphone. If y'all could sniff this microphone, I don't think you'd ever listen to this podcast again. Actually, it doesn't smell that bad.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
That was sort of just an intrusive thought of like, I've actually spit on this thing. What? I've hucked to it on this thing. Like, what the hell? So many times. It doesn't smell that bad, but like, surely no one else would want to sit here. You know what I mean? Okay. Here's some housekeeping. Very, very quickly. Of course, the last two episodes were pre-Trump inauguration.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
Hey, I didn't realize how bad it was going to get. Okay. But a message to the general populace, especially during Black History Month, is that he does not have as much power as he would like us to believe. There are still laws and regulations in this country to keep him in check. Of course, he's sort of blasting through these executive orders.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
But ultimately, there are three branches of government to keep that power in check. So... I know it's a hard sort of piece of advice to be like, trust in the powers that be because of course, you know, they're not really looking out for her best interest and that's just sort of well known.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
But at the same time, all these fucking, you know, constitutionalists and all these like freedom, freedom is the biggest. Okay. Just, we have to have faith. that he will not win is what I'm trying to say. You know what I mean? So my message is have faith and keep the hope and we move forward.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
And that's honestly a segue point into something I want to talk about later, which is books, because I have book recommendations. But we'll move on from fuck Donald Trump to happier news. Congratulations to Beyonce, Giselle, Knowles-Carter for winning. The Grammy for Album of the Year. After four snubs, four snubs, she has been nominated four times for Album of the Year. Four years snubbed.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
Lemonade did not win Album of the Year the year that it was nominated. I digress. Cowboy Carter had won. Okay? Now, the cultural significance of Cowboy Carter... I'm not the one to actually speak on it. You know what I mean? Well, actually I have. Go watch the Calvin Carter episode because I spoke on it. This is so, like, you want to talk about deserving.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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You want to talk about the most, like, heavily awarded Grammy winning artist of all time. Thank you, Beyonce. Okay? And there's really nothing else to say. How about the look of shock on her face? I love her so much.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
What the fuck? Okay, two more things really quick that are just completely unrelated. In the vein of music, there is a YouTube video called Morning Jazz Playlist to Start Your Day. And the thumbnail is Snoopy making a sandwich and And I cannot recommend this video to you people enough.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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And I'm just, I am overcome with a sort of primal rage. It's like a train wreck, though. Like, I have to watch them. I don't really have a choice. Okay, guys, lots, lots, lots to cover today. Welcome back to The Broski Report, starring me, your host, Brittany Broski, occasionally Timothee Chalamet, okay? Only other person who's ever been on this show is Timothee Chalamet, so just note that.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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This video provides me a sense of calm and peace in the morning that I just cannot... I'm on this wave now where I'm trying not to listen to music with words in it. I'm trying not to listen to too much music with words in it, okay? I'm doing a lot of classical. I'm doing a lot of exciting classical, Tchaikovsky and Bach, okay? And Straussburg. And I'm also doing a lot of bossa nova.
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Then I do some of this, like smooth jazz for cooking or morning jazz to get your day started. And I'll do my little ballet stretches because here's another thing that I've discovered. Because I haven't talked to you all in a while. I've been gone. I was in Paris and now I'm back. I'm stateside. There is a plethora of YouTube videos on YouTube that I just get recommended on my homepage.
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But essentially, it's a morning warm-up bar. Because you know how ballerinas will warm up at the bar, that little... bar, doing the little plies and stretching and whatever and warming up their ankles and whatever. They put those for the Royal Ballet School in London and I think two other ballet schools. Sometimes they'll put the full hour-long warm-up on YouTube.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
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Of course, I don't really know what they're doing, so I can't follow along, but it's a good sort of motivator. I'll put that on while I'm in bed, still waking up in the morning. I'm like, Okay, let's do it. Get up. Let's stretch. You know what I mean? So I'll do that. And they always play piano in the background to warm up to, like exciting piano. And it's good. It's good for me, I think.
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Because here's my one qualm I've had with Bar Method. I love Bar Method. But they play like fucking... If I let... That sort of shit. Like, I don't want to hear Bad Habits by Ed Sheeran dubstep remix while I'm trying to work out. I don't want to hear that. Bar Method also is very ballet inspired. Like, you do have to fucking work out on the bar. I don't want to.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
I love Florence and the Machine, but I don't want to hear Dog Days Are Over Radio Zed remix. You know what I mean? No, what's that? They play that one song. Say my name. They play that song, and I said, because I love Florence and the Machine, but I don't want to hear Florence Welch at 8 a.m. when I'm like, oh, fuck. Okay, I have to be tapped the fuck in to listen to Florence and the Machine.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
Okay, anyway, I digress. Yeah, I wish they played more classical music, which I'm not going to sort of fall on that sword. I'm not going to go up to the instructor and be like, hey, love what you're doing up there. A bit more Tchaikovsky would be nice. Thanks. I'm not going to do that. Also, I'm not going to say I'm the youngest woman in my bar method class, but...
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I look around a lot and I'm like, all these women are 40 and 50. Like, older than me, doing it easier than I am. I'm huffing and puffing in the corner. Oh, fuck.
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They're in the corner with their leg wrapped around their neck and they're doing this and they're in a full split. And I'm like, oh my God. But it's possible you can get there. And I would get there faster if they could play Tchaikovsky while I'm trying to do my shit, while I'm trying to freak my shit on the bar, okay? While I'm busting my shit open on the bar, just play Tchaikovsky. anyway.
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Yeah, I just think it's good for me. I think that type of music is good for me. It calms me because I'm a very, I'm pretty high strung these days. I'm pretty high strung. I can't really, I can't really get my shit under control. The first order of business for real that I like to bring to y'all's plate is I need a man with a mustache to worship the ground. I walk on. Let me indulge you.
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I saw this TikTok. Okay. And then I saw a YouTube short of the same sort of digital creator. And he was British. And he looked like Tom Selleck. And he was doing like a running video, but it was like a meme. Can I say like one more time? I'm about to piss myself off. Caffeine's about to kick in. I'm going to watch this back and say, why? I need to go to a speech therapist. Like?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
Some things really quickly. I did have a Cortado this morning. Okay, now I've figured out what that is. That's going to be three shots of espresso, steamed oat milk. And if you have never smelled what heated up oat milk smells like, I wouldn't recommend it. That shit about made me gag. Okay? Tastes fine. But then again, oat milk, I guess, is bad. Because there's palm tree oil in it. I don't know.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
But here's the thing too, is like, okay. It's so ingrained in our vernacular. I can't stop saying it. It's a crutch word. It's how I communicate. And now I'm hyper aware of it. And I'm going to struggle for the rest of this episode to not say like every fourth word. It's like when you become. It's like when you become aware that you're saying, uh, uh, uh, uh, shut up. Okay.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
What was I going to talk about? Oh, yeah. This dude, I don't even know his name. But I saw him and I got pissed off. Because I was like, I was doing so good. I'll come on this fucking podcast and speak into this very microphone that I'm speaking into right now. I'll be like, men are the bane of society. The world would be better without fucking men.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
82: Sherlock Holmes Crash Course
And then I see one video of a man with a mustache and I say, oh, fuck. Oh, Jesus. Men to me are like mythical creatures. I do not interact with them in the wild. I leave them be. I don't really want to hear from them, but I will admire their beauty from afar. I see a young gentleman with a sort of really nice upper body build. beautiful hairline, great mustache. I'm looking.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
So when I did one lesson on Nibble, it was because I wanted to learn about the Greek gods. And it's also super fucking confusing because the Roman gods that they literally stole from the Greek gods and renamed and made it worse or made it mid is like you learn one story and then you hear it in another name and then you're like, well, who the fuck is that? Oh, it's the same.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Oh, but it's slightly different because it's Roman. It's just too much. So I'm very loosely familiar with... the Titans, the story of Kronos. Everyone's seen that painting, let me pull it up, of Saturn eating his son. See, like, are Saturn and Kronos the same? Yes, the Roman god Saturn is the equivalent of the Greek Titan Kronos. See what I mean?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Kronos, both representing the same figure in their respective mythologies. In Greek mythology, Kronos was a Titan, the father of Zeus and other Olympian gods, and the ruler of the cosmos before the Olympians. Okay. So keeping that in mind, Saturn devouring his son by Goya. I'm sure y'all have seen this painting before.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
I think I mentioned it in that old YouTube video I did of why were Goya's paintings so dark. He painted this one kind of later on in his life when he was descending into madness. And this is the story of Kronos originally, the Greek Titan.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
devouring not only one of his sons but multiple of his children because he feared his sons were going to usurp him or kill him and take his power, and he would not stand for that. So after doing this three, four, five times, his wife, Rhea— Took the last son, swapped him for a stone, and gave the stone to Kronos, and he swallowed the stone and, you know, whatever.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
So she took the last boy, raised him outside of the sort of... view of Kronos, built him up to be a hero, broke him, killed Kronos, okay, killed his father, and this is in a succession, a successional line of, like, generational trauma of the same kind, because Kronos, you guessed it, killed his dad to take power, and his dad was Uranus, Uranus, and
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
I can't have caffeine, I guess, question mark, because my gallbladder, or lack thereof, and at least for like four to six weeks is what all of the websites and the doctors and surgeons are telling me, okay? It's what they're telling me, and it has something to do with the liver. There's a lot of stress on my liver right now, okay? My liver just got promoted.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
In Greek mythology, Kronos' father was Uranus, the primordial god of the sky, and his mother was Gaia, the goddess of the earth. Okay, so, yeah, boom. Kronos was a titan, the leader of the titans, and he overthrew his father, Uranus, with the help of his mother. And so it only makes sense that who overthrew Kronos? Zeus, let's fucking go! That's right!
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
In Greek mythology, Kronos was defeated by his son, Zeus, who, alongside his siblings, overthrew the Titans and established the Olympian gods as rulers. And now that was tea because when Zeus killed Kronos, he freed all of his siblings that were in his father's stomach. Okay? Right. It's actually really interesting... Well, duh, it's interesting.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
But to study all this, because primordial means like foundational making of, you know, the elements, the earth, the world as we know it. Any of these gods who are fundamental in the creation of life and forces of nature. So this is really, really cool to think. I mean, who fucking knows, right? But the origins of these stories, which, keeping in mind, were all told orally, really, really cool.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
And there's so much fucking lore. There's so much lore. That's why it intimidates me. This is one of the few lessons I studied on Nibble that actually stuck with me, which is cool because now I'm reading Circe. And Circe's dad is Helios. And Helios is the sun god, or I guess the god of the sun, who every morning rides his chariot across the sky, and that is the sunrise and sundown.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
And Helios is a cousin of Oceanus, who is not Poseidon, okay? And here's another factoid. The Trevi Fountain in Rome, it's the big... Big ass fountain, right? All marble, beautiful. I mean, it's astounding how big it is. Because you see photos and you're like, oh, it's some dinkular fountain. No, motherfucker. It is so tall and so wide. It's not Poseidon at the middle.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Let me pull up a picture of Trevor Fountain. Damn.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Okay, so this is the famous Trevi Fountain. By the way, on the back of a government building, this is just on the back, this god right here, not Poseidon, that is Oceanus. And these two figures down on the bottom left and bottom right, let me say this and then I'm going to fact check it, okay? One of them is to represent the calm nature of the sea. It's a horse or it's a, what are those called?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Like sea horses. There's a name for it. It's like the front half is a normal horse and the back is a tail. One is to represent the calm nature of the sea and the other is to represent the violent, turbulent, unpredictable nature of the sea. Let me see if I was right. The central figure Oceanus, the god of water, is a powerful representation of the might and bounty of the sea.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Flanked by tritons and horses, the composition symbolizes the contrasting moods of the sea from calm to turbulent. I am a fucking genius, dude. Moreover, the fountain's history is deeply intertwined with Rome's ancient traditions. The practice of building monumental fountains at the Termini of Aqueducts dates back to the Roman Empire, and the Trevi continues this legacy.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
My liver just sort of got promoted to COO of my body because gallbladder quit. Gallbladder went ahead and stood up and said, I can't fucking do this anymore. I quit and stormed out. Didn't even take her stuff with her. Actually, she did. She took her gallstones with her. And so now there's extra stress on my liver. And because of that, I can't drink.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Okay, so back to whatever the hell I was talking about. Circe is the daughter of Helios. Oh, that's what I was saying. Oceanus and Poseidon are two different gods. So let's look up the difference. In Greek mythology, Oceanus is a titan god of the freshwater river that was thought to encircle the earth, while Poseidon is an Olympian god who ruled over the seas and earthquakes.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Oceanus was considered the source of all rivers, springs, and seas, and the father of all waters. He's often depicted as a powerful old man figure, sometimes with a long beard and flowing robe. So Poseidon is the powerful and often volatile god known for his trident and his ability to control the ocean and cause earthquakes.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
He's often depicted as a bearded man with a trident, sometimes with a crown or a long robe. Here's the difference. Oceanus is a titan, an older generation of gods, while Poseidon is an Olympian, a younger generation. Oceanus ruled over freshwater, while Poseidon ruled over the seas and earthquakes.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Oceanus is often portrayed as a more calm and peaceful figure, while Poseidon is known for his temper and violent nature. See, the more you know. Anyway, so Circe is the daughter of Helios, the sun god, who is a cousin to Oceanus. And they've just introduced a character called Prometheus, right? Who Prometheus, I'm learning so much, y'all. It's so fun to share it with you.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Prometheus was punished by Zeus because Prometheus gave fire and quote-unquote civilization to mortals, to humans. So back when humans were in the cave doing whatever and they couldn't cook and they were eating each other and doing whatever, I don't fucking know, cavemen. Prometheus gave them the gift of fire and organized society.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Zeus punished him forever for this because it wasn't his will and banished Prometheus to the underworld where he is trapped forever. And we're coming back in this... Where I am in Cersei right now is Prometheus is now facing a new trial where I guess he's gonna... It's his eternal punishment? I don't fucking know. So that's where I'm at.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
And it's really interesting because Madeline Miller explains the backstory pretty well. Like, it's pretty understandable. There's a lot of characters. But then again... any fantasy novel or Game of Thrones type book is like, there's so many characters and there's so many lineages and family trees that, okay, you know, I can keep up.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
And she includes an appendix in the back for if you forget who so-and-so is or whatever. So yeah, that's, I'm enjoying it. And after I finish Cersei, I'm going to go back to Clytemnestra, whatever the fuck her name is. And who is she the daughter of? Cly... Nestor, wife of Agamemnon. No way, the king of Mycenae, Mycenae, and the half-sister of Helen of Sparta.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
I can't have fatty foods because I don't want a fatty liver. Okay, last thing you want. The last thing you'd want in your body chemistry is a fatty liver. Turns out that might be exactly what you get. You can't have a fatty liver. What? Fatty liver! So I'm really trying not to put too much stress on my body and on the detoxifier in my body, which is my liver.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
That's big tea, because in Song of Achilles, if you've read Song of Achilles, you know about King Agamemnon. This is so ridiculous. Okay, I wanted to talk about some of my favorites, because that's the fucking point of this podcast at the end of the day. I want to talk to y'all about some of my favorite things right now. Here are some of my favorite things as follows.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
I can't get enough of dried figs and dried apricots. Apricots. I'm loving them. They always put them on those dinky little charcuterie boards. I eat them bitches raw. I eat them out the bag. I love a dried apricot. I love a dried fig. And I made, I think I mentioned this briefly last time, I made charcuterie nachos. Fucking delicious. So good.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
And then on the side, you put a little dried fig, dried apricot, a little bit of honey. Okay. Wow. Really, really yum. I've been loving that. I've been trying to eat more... Whole foods. I'm not doing Whole30 and all that horse shit, but because my diet is so strict, I'm trying to do, you know what I mean? Oh, my ears just started ringing. That's cool. Am I dying? Ahoy, all ye listeners!
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
And because of that, they've told me to limit caffeine. So I'm doing that. I'm raw dogging this today, okay? That's a lie. Actually, because what I did, what I did just now is I had a drink. I don't know this brand. I literally saw it on Instacart and I said, let's figure out what's going on there. It's called Haywell. This is not sponsored, okay?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Head to acorns.com slash broski or download the Acorns app to get started. Paid non-client endorsement. Compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns. Tier 2 compensation provided. Investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com slash broski. Okay, it stopped. Dying averted for now.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Charcuterie nachos, I'm doing the dried fruit, and I like a green juice. I never thought I'd be one of those bitches that's like, I make my own green juice, and I don't, okay? I buy the green juice, but I enjoy it, and it makes me feel good about myself. Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? I watched these, I need y'all to know this.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
I watched these episodes back and I'm like, you sound like a babbling idiot. You know what I mean? Like, like, like, mine, mine, mine. Shh, I, I'm at my wits end with y'all. I'm serious. I cannot deal with it. I'm so sorry. I'd like to apologize a hundred million times. Anyway, I've been loving green juice and what the fuck else? This right here, I literally brought it because I wanted to show you.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
I think I've talked about Salt and Stone before, and I tried their deodorant. That shit did not work, and I'm so sorry to whoever was around me that day that I tried it out. That shit did not make my BO go away. I would just say it sort of made my BO smell like vetiver. Anyway. This shit right here, it's the hand cream, bergamot and hinoki. Get into this, girl. I love this. I'm addicted to it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
I'm not someone who typically is like... I carry around hand cream and cuticle oil and whatever, but this makes me feel so soft, and I've got eczema real bad on my hands, and it doesn't fix the eczema, but it definitely keeps it at bay. This really, I love this. I love how it smells. I love how it makes my hands feel. I wash my hands a lot, so that's been in my bag a lot lately.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
What else has been in my bag? Oh, I've got my rashes back.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
What are we doing? Oh, I had a dream last night about my ex-situationship as well.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Seriously. I bet US dollars that he paid an Etsy witch to do that to me. I'm livid. I'm livid. I can't believe you permeated my dream space to send me that fuck-ass message. And let me... Hold on. I don't know if I've ever told y'all this.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
This young gentleman, when we had our little whatever, brought me a gift. I couldn't give it back to him when we broke up because that's mean, right? I'm not going to be like, thanks for this, whatever. I just kept it. And I was like, I'm going to give it to Goodwill. Like, I don't, it's bad energy to keep it in my house, but I'm not just going to throw it away to have it be in a landfill.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
I'll just give it away. Well, it's sitting on my little chair in my room. And I'm cleaning my room. We have just broken up, like literally the day of. And it's nighttime and I'm crying and I feel like, oh, did I just make a mistake? Like, what if that's the best I could do? Like really going through it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
I just saw this and it was marketed as like a, it's a sparkling water. Because now I have to look at the ingredients, okay? You know, I love Red Bull. You know, I could just, with my mouth closed and eyes shut and with just my nose, I could be like, that's a blueberry Red Bull. I don't know if I can do it anymore. There's so much extra ingredients in Red Bull. I miss it, though.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
And I go to pick up this fucking stuffed animal and I pick it up and there is a giant red spider under the little hoodie that this stuffed animal was wearing. And I said, oh my God. And I dropped it. I freaked the fuck out. I have never, there are spiders in my house all the time, okay? It's an old house. I've got a lot of vegetation around.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
It's not uncommon, but I just take my little vacuum and I suck it up. And it's normal spiders, you know, like household spiders, wood spiders, whatever. A big ass red spider. I've lived here for two years. I've never seen anything like that. Not gonna work. And so I start freaking out and it makes me cry harder. And I'm like, you brought a bad omen into my house. I go and get my vacuum.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
I suck it up. And then I sit down and I'm like, maybe this is a sign. And I look it up. And sure enough, let me read what this says. Seeing a red spider holds powerful spiritual significance, symbolizing passion, energy, and transformation. Okay. I didn't even know how much my life was about to change. It felt like my life was ending. Girl, a whole new season.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
of bountiful blessings and friendship and love was about to reveal itself to me. And I don't want to be one of those woo-woo, trust the universe girls, but ultimately I am. Ultimately, that is who I am. This was crazy. I cried for about 15 minutes. It was just really emotional. And, like, to go through all that and a breakup is just, it just sucks regardless.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Like, remember when I came on here and cried after it happened? It was just, like, I learn so much about myself through every situationship, every fucking whatever that I have. And I learn about what I will not tolerate. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
For at least the next month, I need to take it easy. I'm not really doing battery acid on the stomach right now. I can't really do that. Even coffee, I'm like, am I going to die? Because if I start vomiting with no... Oh, I can't imagine. It's going to be so painful. Anyway, I tried one of these because it said that it's got... It's all like... organic fucking, I don't know.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
And so I tried one, tasted good. I got the cherry limeade one and it's got 75 milligrams of caffeine in it. I don't really feel any different, but then again, I just cooked, I just Anthony Bourdain-ed it up in the kitchen for about two and a half hours off the hay well. So maybe I expended all my energy there.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
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The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
We're so back. I haven't watched the short film yet. I can't. I literally, I need to be, like, locked in, tissues on hand. It's too much. She posted that teaser of her as an old woman. I can't do it. I can't do it. Remember how it took me six months to watch Pedro Pascal on Hot Ones? I couldn't do it. I can't fucking deal with it. That's how I feel about it.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
I'll watch the Eternal Sunshine movie in about three months, and I'll be like, why is no one talking about it? Because I couldn't do it now. it's just too much.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Like when you love someone like that, when you love an artist or when it took me so long to listen to Cowboy Carter too, because I'm like, it's such a beautiful, well done body of work that I feel like unless I can give it the absolute time of day that it deserves, I can't listen to it yet. Does anyone else have that experience? I have to give it my utmost attention.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
I have a home library. Library. I have a home library, and in this library is all the books I've collected over the last 15 years. I've kind of got something going here, okay? I just went to the bookstore today, picked up the Iliad, the Odyssey. I picked up Sunrise on the Reaping. Thank you. I picked up, what else? Oh, Circe. I went to the bookstore with one book in mind.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
And so that's how I feel about the Eternal Sunshine movie because I know she put so much effort and direction and references packed into this 26-minute short film that I need to be able to soak in everything and take away my own conclusions. Which, by the way... Not to always bring it back to hosier, but do you fucking mind? Does anyone mind?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
I was returning to Unreal Unearthed because, of course, I was. And holy shit, it came out in 2023. Why does that feel like not long ago? How is that almost a year and a half ago? That's nuts. Anyway, I returned to... Butchered Tongue from Unreal Unearthed, which is, in my opinion, in my opinion, but I also think it's real.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
It's about the loss of the Irish language, the sort of intentional dissolution and colonization and disintegration of the Irish language that was a very direct and intentional thing done by the British Empire. Butchered tongue, I'm going to pull up the lyrics. And again, this is from Unreal Unearthed, which is based on Dante's Inferno. Right? Is it Dante's Inferno? Or Dante's Divine Comedy?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Well, I know that Inferno is part of the Divine Comedy. It was like Paradiso something and then Inferno. Is Unreal Unearthed based on Dante's Inferno? Yeah, just inferno. Oh, that's right, because it's the nine circles of hell. I knew that. Divine comedy, Dante, books. Oh, that's right. Paradiso, purgatorio, inferno.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
So it's paradise, purgatory, hell, which is T. I feel like purgatory is scarier than hell. Well, hold on. Let's talk about this. Is purgatory... meaning you're stuck between ends, stuck between worlds, is that limbo state scarier than the torture of hell? Like being a lost soul. Let's see what Dante has to say about purgatory. Dante, purgatorio, summary.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
In Dante Alighieri's Purgatorio, Purgatory is a mountain where souls are purified from sin and prepare for heaven, guided by Virgil, and consists of terraces that spiral upwards. The mountain has terraces that spiral upwards, each representing a different level of purification, where souls are cleansed of specific vices and virtues.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Dante, guided by the Roman poet Virgil, travels up the mountain of purgatory, encountering souls who are undergoing purification and learning about the nature of sin, vice, and virtue. Dante and Virgil meet repentant excommunicate souls, including souls who delayed repentance and souls who died violently.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
The journey through purgatory is a quest for freedom and a preparation for entering paradise, where souls can finally achieve eternal happiness. Okay, T, when I think of purgatory, I think you're trapped there. You are a wandering soul who will not and has not been laid to rest. Purgatory meaning? In the Roman Catholic doctrine, This is what purgatory is.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
A place or state of suffering inhabited by the souls of sinners who are expiating their sins before going to heaven. Oh, so it's an in-between. Oh, like atoning. Expiate?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Great word. Purgatory is also referred to as mental anguish or suffering. Is purgatory a good or bad thing? Okay, this is from Corpus Christi PHX. the Corpus Christi Catholic Church of Phoenix, Arizona. Purgatory provides us with hope because God, in his justice, does not simply cast us out of his presence for all the messes we've made.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Rather, in his mercy, he gives us an opportunity to cooperate with the redemptive work of Jesus, and together with him, we can clean up those messes. Why can't you do... Isn't the point of you do that while you're alive... Right? Because if you wanted to convert, you'd do it while you're alive.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
I was like, I'm only getting Circe because I just finished Song of Achilles. I will get to that. I will get to that. Let me get to it. And I was like, I'm on this Madeline Miller kick. I got to go pick up Circe because all the girls are telling me you got to read Circe. It's even more devastating. It's their favorite book of all time. Okay, I believe you.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
What is involved in purification? Purgatory. Purgatory. me googling the purification involves suffering and a sense of fire but the exact nature of this cleansing is not fully defined by the church the pain of purgatory is a pain of love a purifying suffering that atones for sins and re-establishes holiness and justice See, this is where y'all start to lose me.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Pain is not the way to, I don't, I just like that shit makes my skin crawl. I don't know. I'm not the one. The souls in purgatory are conscious of their personal responsibility for the delay in seeing God. But this is, right, this is the eternal philosophical question.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
If you have never been exposed to God or to Christ or to any organized religion and you die that way, you live and die never knowing who Jesus Christ is, are you damned to hell? And is that your fault? Or is that the missionary's fault? The missionaries never got to you? Then they should be punished. I just have never understood this idea.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
I remember someone saying that to me when I was still going to church of like, yes, they're going to hell, but they have an opportunity to... An opportunity?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
not all-encompassing doctrine that really makes me question, like, how can you dedicate your whole life to something like this when there are such big plot holes? There's plot holes in the religion. This feels so exclusionary in a religion that is, by definition, inclusionary. I will never understand it, and I've tried. I've tried to understand it. Anyway, back to hosiery. to hosier. Okay.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
So I went to my local Barnes and Noble and I went ahead and picked up Circe and then about six other books. Fuck! So what else did I get? I got... I got another, it was like for fans of Song of Achilles. It was another sort of modern retelling of Greek mythology. And I can't remember the name. I wish, it's in my office.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Butchered tongue. This is about the Irish language, I think. And then we're going to go through genius. As a child, it was the place names. Singing at me is the first thing. How the mouth must be employed in every corner of itself to say, these are three Irish words, a promise softly sung of somewhere else.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
And as a young man, blessed to pass so many road signs and have my foreign ear made fresh again on each unlikely sound, but feel at home hearing a music that few still understand, a butchered tongue still singing here above the ground.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
The ears were chopped from young men if the pitch cap didn't kill them. They're buried without scalp in the shattered bedrock of our home. You may never know your fortune until the distance has been shown between what is lost forever and what can still be... Let me just go and take that from the top.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
You may never know your fortune until the distance has been shown between what is lost forever and what can still be known...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
You may never know your fortune until the distance has been shown between what is lost forever and what can still be known. Like reclaiming the remnants of the Irish language and the Irish heritage and culture that are left. The strongest. I have chills everywhere. So far from home to have a stranger call you darling and have your guarded heart be lifted like a child up by the hand.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
In some town that just means home to them. With no translator left to sound, a butchered tongue still singing here above the ground. Oh my God. I think especially as someone... This is so striking in an infinite way.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
But I think what really connects with me about this song, other than an obvious outpouring of empathy for what the nation of Ireland has experienced and gone through as a collective trauma, what endears me...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
even more to this song in particular, is how much I love language and how much I enjoy studying language and the origins of language and etymology and how language is human history and it's breathing, it has a pulse. This just strikes at the heart of me because there is nothing more devastating than permanently losing a language.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
When you talk about a dead language, when you talk about assimilation that is 100% effective, when you force a culture to assimilate, and they lose the last remaining bits of their culture, it is truly dead forever. And that sends a chill down my spine, that we are able to inflict such horror where we forget
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Anyway, my dream in 15 years is I have a home library that's full of both the classics. I'll have a classics shelf. I'll have a shelf for like my favorite books and then all the other ones. You know what I mean? And then the beautiful thing about that is I have always wanted my home to be like the hosting home. You know what I mean? I want all my friends to come over and just like...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
That's what strikes me about this song is that's exactly what he's singing about is that small comfort of seeing road signs in original Irish. When you get off the plane at the Dublin airport, it is in English and then it's in Irish. It's beautiful. Those things are more important than ever, especially now. I think that a song like this that honors the history of
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
The current and warns against the future is such a beautifully done, a beautifully arranged and inclusive body of lyrics. It's just, it's ridiculous. He is ridiculous. I will never stop singing his praises. I think he is the most, he, okay, this is how I'm going to liken this next statement, okay? You know how you can have multiple best friends, but they're all your best friend?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Like you can have two or three best friends and there's not like a ranking system. That's how I feel when I say my favorite artist. My favorite artist has always been Beyonce. Beyonce to me is the greatest living entertainer. She is revolutionary in her existence. Everything about her is just excellence. She is number one. And she always will be, okay? She is just the artist of all artists.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
My other favorite artist is Hosier. And I love them for different reasons. Hosier, to me, is that soul bond of artistry, lyricism, His melodies are crazy. His guitar instincts are crazy.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
And there is something so spiritual about when I listen to a Hosier record, when I go through his lyrics, when I sit with the body of work, even after fucking 10 years, they're celebrating 10 years of self-titled coming out. His first album came out 10 years ago. It's just, I still listen to some of those songs and I hear something new for the first time.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
There are so many layers of artistry that I hope to keep becoming acquainted with. And Unreal Unearthed is still an album that I'm unpacking. A year and a half later, I'm still addicted to it. I keep coming back to it. And that is just the mark of, it's just, it might be just me. It's just me and all the other hosier girls of you don't get him the way I get him.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
I get it and I appreciate it and I see it and I connect with it. And by proxy, it's through that that I feel connected to him. I love him. His brain, who he is, what he stands for, his, I just, I just love him to goddamn death. And I think that this song is, it came on shuffle the other day and I was driving and I started bawling in the car. I was like, there's no, he keeps getting better.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
And it's because it's intentional. Everything he does is intentional. That's why. Yeah. Anyway, sorry, fucking forgive my obligatory hosier glaze session every fucking episode, okay? I have to glaze and then we move on. Okay, I think that'll do it for me this episode, team. I have to go to bed. It's about 11 p.m. I love y'all to goddamn death. There's another something dropping this week.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
My home is your home sort of thing. Whenever I have a friend stay with me, I'm like, that is your wing of the house. You go ahead, just do whatever you need to do to that bathroom. You need a drink, go get you one from the fridge. I hear where all the glasses are. Like, make yourself at home, you know what I mean? The library situation, I see this being a sort of gentleman's lounge vibe.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Okay, so you guys need to fucking lock in. Something's happening in 48 hours that I need everyone to... I need you to be on hand that back.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Because Big Brother is watching. I'm Big Brother. I'm Big Sister. I'm Big Mama. Big Mama is watching. So I need y'all to watch my Instagram. Anyway, merch, broski.shop. Go ahead and get you some MoMo's if you need a MoMo. If you need a broski report, go ahead and grab you one of those because they're still up there. Okay, you need some slippers, they're still up there.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
You need some stickers for your laptop, I've got those too. And I'll see you guys next week, okay? Keep your eyes and ears peeled. Goodbye.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Wooden walls, wooden bookshelves, deep mahogany, leather covered chair, big desk, those brass banker's lamps, lots of natural sunlight, nice like mahogany or not mahogany, maroon rug and curtains. Like I want it to feel luxury, like old British smokers club, not smokers, like, you know, like a gentleman's smoke room. art on the walls. Like, that's my vibe. And right now, I'm kind of working.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
I've got my little, you know, I got my little shelf from Facebook marketplace, and I've hung up my stuff on the walls, whatever. But it's not there. This room over here, this house, I'm renting this house. Love it. Okay, I'm very comfortable here. But at the same time... it's not exactly where I want it to be.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
And so that is my dream in the next 15 years is that I have established that room that is the perfect creative space to just go in there and do whatever I need to do. And it can be messy. In fact, the messier, the better. Because when you go in to someone's study and it's perfectly clean, hey, you're not studying in here, man.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
I don't believe you for a fucking second that you're cooking something up in here. It needs to be disheveled and like stacks of books and this, that, and the other and like dead plants. But then this one's alive because it's just like I want there to be life in that room. And I'll get there eventually. I just hung a bunch of fake plants in mine because I kill anything.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
But I've got a brown thumb, okay? I got a brown thumb and it's not from wiping bad, okay? My brown thumb is because I kill plants by accident. Anyway, that's my dream, okay? So I'm working on it. I went to the bookstore today. There's also this other cool, I've talked about it before, I think it's this other used bookstore near my house, like Secondhand Books, and it's massive.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
And I go in there when I'm looking for older stuff. Like I picked up the Iliad at that store, but they didn't have Circe because it's weird. They'll have like, you know, They had the new Suzanne Collins, the Hunger Games one, and then they had – they always have Sarah J. Moss and shit like that. But it's weird. Like, it's hit or miss when it comes to modern books. Anyway. Song of Achilles.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Okay, y'all. Song of Achilles. Here's my book review. Okay, let me give an overview for the girls that don't read, can't read, don't plan on learning to read. Totally fine. Okay, that's what an audio format is for. Okay, so I'm here to sort of help you with that. Song of Achilles is, like I said, a modern retelling of classic Greek mythology with a little twist. Okay.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
This is a romance book, but it's also fucking devastating. And I'm going to try to talk about it without revealing the end. I feel like everyone knows Achilles dies, right? That's kind of like his thing. He dies. Every story, okay, bro's going to die. Bro died. That's sort of his legacy. but he was a hero. He was supposed to be this never-before-seen, you know, Hercules-level hero.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
I'm off the Paul Meskel water cup today. I'm off the P-P-P-P-Paul Meskel pack. I love Pop Mascot. Guys, the energy of today is feeling a bit like Mad Scientist. I'm feeling a bit like, ah, yes, welcome to my show. Who are you, boy? Ah, yes, welcome. That's how I'm feeling, okay? Because let me sort of give you an update on what's... Let me give it to you. Why does that come out sometimes?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
And someone commented some bullshit under this TikTok I posted of me crying about it, where they said, oh my god, I'm gonna freak out. They said, in another life, it was love, not rage, that killed Achilles or something like that. No, they said, in another lifetime, it was love, not rage, that motivated Achilles or something like that.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Sorry. Anyway. I'm really not, you know, I've never been a Greek mythology girl. I've never been like, oh, yes, Helios, the brother of, I don't give a fuck. I've never, it's been too much. Anytime I sit down to watch one of those four-hour YouTube videos where I'm like, time to lock in, time to learn. They're like, and then Athena is the sister of. I fall asleep.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Because it's always those, like, the cadence of those videos is... And then in the 100th century BC, Athena. It's just like I'm... They don't even try to make it interesting. It's almost like a spitting off, spewing off facts about it. Tell it to me like a story so I know these gods and goddesses and these nymphs and the story. Like, I want to be involved.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Song of Achilles is the first ever retelling of a story that's made me have a personal stake in these characters. You know what I mean? And of course, because it's a modern thing. Anyway, Song of Achilles. is about the companionship, and by that I mean homoerotic gayness shared between Achilles and his companion Patroclus, okay?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
It is told from Patroclus' perspective of how he comes to meet Achilles. They were boys together, and he loved him through his whole life till the very fucking end. And it is a beautiful, beautiful story. And it's devastating. And I really like Madeline Miller's writing. I think it's very straightforward. It's very to the point. And it's very... packed with emotion.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
I found myself wanting to get through the story really quickly, not because, you know, I was bored or I wanted to finish, but because I was excited, like I needed to know what happened next. And in doing that, I found myself missing some of these really impactful, beautifully worded, straight to the point sentences.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
She would end a paragraph with just something that was so profound, and you miss it if you're just like, okay, I'm going to get on to the next fucking, okay, the Trojan War, when does the Trojan War start? Like, zoom out, or actually zoom in. Take a second to sit with some of the prose that she's created, and it...
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
it made it even more enjoyable and even more heart-wrenching towards the end where these small little statements like, I would know the sound of his feet pounding the pavement with my eyes closed. Like, I would know it's him. I would know him in any lifetime. It's just, it's devastating, like, the attention to detail because you know if you've ever been
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
in love with someone, infatuated with someone, obsessed, addicted to someone. It is the little things like that that you revel in. You know what I mean? Maybe this is just me talking about from a lover girl's perspective. Keep that in mind. I'm a lover girl to my core.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
It's the small things like that of the shape of their eyelashes and how the eyelashes rest against their cheeks, you know, the curl of their hair, the smell of them in the morning, things like this that are so intimate and so mundane. And
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
therein lies the precious beauty of it is that is something that is adding to this heaping treasure of little things that endear you to this person more when you're really, you know, in the thick of it. It's those things that make up the larger sentiment of love, you know, or of infatuation or of care.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
When you care for someone, it's because you pay attention to those little things, you know, little mannerisms, whatever. I think Song of Achilles perfectly encapsulates it. It is that to a T of when you love someone with all of your being, Those little things are everything. And he just, Patroclus loves with everything he is. And he is, dare I say, the better part of Achilles.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Let me go down there and give you. This is a constant exercise in what I like to call the be normal experiment where case after case, day after day, episode after episode, I fail. And it's a beautiful study on the human, the human brain. Guys, what the fuck was I about to say? Oh yeah, I'm feeling, here's what's going on in my body right now.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Okay, because Achilles, you can be this hero, this famous, you know, son of a goddess and whatever, but like Patroclus is the best part of you. And you realize it too late. And, oh God, it's just, it's hauntingly beautiful. I am going to think about it for a long time. I'm very glad, though, that I have a book to jump back into to quell the book hangover, so to speak.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Circe, so far, is, I'm like 20 pages in, sad. And there's a lot of... This one feels like there's a bit more world building in terms of like I'm having to Google more. You know, who is Helios and who was he the son of? And, you know, the Titans. Like I'm very loosely familiar with all these things because I studied it on what's that fucking app called? Nibble. Y'all know about Nibble?
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
I had this phase where I was like, I'm going to be an academic. Paid for this fucking app for a year. It was like a hundred something dollars for the year. And I was like, I scroll too much. I doom scroll. I'm going to feed my brain. I fell for one of those traps. I used this app maybe four times. Never used it again. And good thing I still pay for it. That's awesome.
The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
89: Stuck In Purgatory
Because it's just like, you know, in my, when I'm feeling brain dead, the last thing I want to do is go learn something. I want to scroll and I want tea. You know what I mean?