Brittney Cooper

And that if you feel sad or have emotions about this, it is because you were naive, like, in thinking that it could be different or that the country was different. And why are you shocked and surprised? And it's like, but my tears weren't tears of shock or surprise. They were just...

And that if you feel sad or have emotions about this, it is because you were naive, like, in thinking that it could be different or that the country was different. And why are you shocked and surprised? And it's like, but my tears weren't tears of shock or surprise. They were just...

deep, terrified grief over both the sadness of all that we lost and the terror of, the triggering terror of these months of anticipating a bad thing coming. And then living through that bad thing. And then you tried to prevent it. You fought with everything you could to prevent it. And then the bad thing ended up on your doorstep anyway. And now you have to contend with it in a real way.

deep, terrified grief over both the sadness of all that we lost and the terror of, the triggering terror of these months of anticipating a bad thing coming. And then living through that bad thing. And then you tried to prevent it. You fought with everything you could to prevent it. And then the bad thing ended up on your doorstep anyway. And now you have to contend with it in a real way.

deep, terrified grief over both the sadness of all that we lost and the terror of, the triggering terror of these months of anticipating a bad thing coming. And then living through that bad thing. And then you tried to prevent it. You fought with everything you could to prevent it. And then the bad thing ended up on your doorstep anyway. And now you have to contend with it in a real way.

And I just feel... devastated by that. And that devastation is compounded by the fact that today is a two-year anniversary of my coming back home to my place in New Jersey after burying my mother. And I remember, so my world tilted on its axis two years ago, January. And I remember the feeling of defeat because again, it's that same thing where you

And I just feel... devastated by that. And that devastation is compounded by the fact that today is a two-year anniversary of my coming back home to my place in New Jersey after burying my mother. And I remember, so my world tilted on its axis two years ago, January. And I remember the feeling of defeat because again, it's that same thing where you

And I just feel... devastated by that. And that devastation is compounded by the fact that today is a two-year anniversary of my coming back home to my place in New Jersey after burying my mother. And I remember, so my world tilted on its axis two years ago, January. And I remember the feeling of defeat because again, it's that same thing where you

You know, my mother had an unexpected set of complications from a surgery that just went badly. And the thing about being, all us like hyper-achieving women, you know, people call us to do shit because we solve problems for a living, right? We can see around corners, right? Tracer's like one of these writers that can see around corners. She can see things coming.

You know, my mother had an unexpected set of complications from a surgery that just went badly. And the thing about being, all us like hyper-achieving women, you know, people call us to do shit because we solve problems for a living, right? We can see around corners, right? Tracer's like one of these writers that can see around corners. She can see things coming.

You know, my mother had an unexpected set of complications from a surgery that just went badly. And the thing about being, all us like hyper-achieving women, you know, people call us to do shit because we solve problems for a living, right? We can see around corners, right? Tracer's like one of these writers that can see around corners. She can see things coming.

You know, this is like one of the things that makes you a type A personality. you anticipate and you make a plan and then you rally the troops and you get them all together. And I watched black women do that for 107 days. And I was like, okay, I don't believe in anything, but a bunch of black and army of sisters being like, we're going, we're going to be okay.

You know, this is like one of the things that makes you a type A personality. you anticipate and you make a plan and then you rally the troops and you get them all together. And I watched black women do that for 107 days. And I was like, okay, I don't believe in anything, but a bunch of black and army of sisters being like, we're going, we're going to be okay.

You know, this is like one of the things that makes you a type A personality. you anticipate and you make a plan and then you rally the troops and you get them all together. And I watched black women do that for 107 days. And I was like, okay, I don't believe in anything, but a bunch of black and army of sisters being like, we're going, we're going to be okay.

And then when you show up and it's not okay, the level of like, The devastation and the sense of failure and like, how did I miss this? How did I not see it coming? It's like I woke up and the weight of all of that stuff that I had managed to sort of push at a distance yesterday just showed up this morning. And I rarely struggle to get out of bed.

And then when you show up and it's not okay, the level of like, The devastation and the sense of failure and like, how did I miss this? How did I not see it coming? It's like I woke up and the weight of all of that stuff that I had managed to sort of push at a distance yesterday just showed up this morning. And I rarely struggle to get out of bed.

And then when you show up and it's not okay, the level of like, The devastation and the sense of failure and like, how did I miss this? How did I not see it coming? It's like I woke up and the weight of all of that stuff that I had managed to sort of push at a distance yesterday just showed up this morning. And I rarely struggle to get out of bed.

Staying in the bed all day is not really my thing. But today I was like, I could just stay here under these sheets and in this cocoon and maybe things will be OK. And maybe I could just have like a cozy float through the next regime. So that's that's where I am.

Staying in the bed all day is not really my thing. But today I was like, I could just stay here under these sheets and in this cocoon and maybe things will be OK. And maybe I could just have like a cozy float through the next regime. So that's that's where I am.

Staying in the bed all day is not really my thing. But today I was like, I could just stay here under these sheets and in this cocoon and maybe things will be OK. And maybe I could just have like a cozy float through the next regime. So that's that's where I am.