C. Wayne
Appearances
KILL TONY
#695 - MATT MCCUSKER + LEMAIRE LEE
What's up, Austin? How we doing? Okay, I didn't expect this many white people. My apologies. Let me go ahead and dress the elephant in the room. Real quick, no, I am not a rapper. You did not see me on YouTube with a Draco. It's crazy, man. Despite being a comedian, my biggest fear is getting very, very famous. It's a fear of mine, because counsel kosher, you can be counseled at any time.
KILL TONY
#695 - MATT MCCUSKER + LEMAIRE LEE
I got some jokes that'll get me counseled that I never tell, but I'ma tell them tonight on Kill Tony. Real quick. What do you call white people that buy small amounts of weed? Graham crackers. Look, look, I'll be canceled before Tuesday. I'll be canceled before I even hit the scene. To be fair, what do you call black people that buy small amounts of weed?
KILL TONY
#695 - MATT MCCUSKER + LEMAIRE LEE
Broke-ass nigga, because look, we got some money. We're going to buy us a little sack or two. You know what I'm talking about? Shit's crazy as hell. Shout out to everybody, all my weed heads out there. Yo, Tony, can we buy weed on YouTube? Can we do that? It's not done.
KILL TONY
#695 - MATT MCCUSKER + LEMAIRE LEE
All right, look, between me and you, if we need a 3-5 at the show, buy the bathroom, buy the little homeless dude with the two dogs, not the one dog homeless dude.
KILL TONY
#695 - MATT MCCUSKER + LEMAIRE LEE
I'm originally from Galveston County. Shout out to the falling out. Shout out to the what? The 409.
KILL TONY
#695 - MATT MCCUSKER + LEMAIRE LEE
Oh, no, no, no, no. No, not at all. I have some, what do you call Indian peoples? Okay, let's hear it.
KILL TONY
#695 - MATT MCCUSKER + LEMAIRE LEE
What do you call your Indian friend that you call on the phone? Tech support.
KILL TONY
#695 - MATT MCCUSKER + LEMAIRE LEE
What? I'm sorry, that might have been the wrong group. What do you call your Hispanic friend after nine o'clock? A food truck. Look, I'm sorry. Okay.
KILL TONY
#695 - MATT MCCUSKER + LEMAIRE LEE
That's what I'm saying. That's how I led this situation. C-Wayne, what exactly do you do for a living? How do you make money? I actually produce comedy shows in San Antonio. Okay. A shout out to Holly Toxin Entertainment, man. We do comedy shows every Friday.
KILL TONY
#695 - MATT MCCUSKER + LEMAIRE LEE
Well, before this summer, I was running spring shows. So we was doing a lot of spring work.
KILL TONY
#695 - MATT MCCUSKER + LEMAIRE LEE
For fun, I like to play a little basketball, joke around, you know what I'm saying, troll people.
KILL TONY
#695 - MATT MCCUSKER + LEMAIRE LEE
You said, I like to play basketball. and troll people in real life.
KILL TONY
#695 - MATT MCCUSKER + LEMAIRE LEE
Yeah, yeah. Not on the internet, though. That's just bullying. Right, right.
KILL TONY
#695 - MATT MCCUSKER + LEMAIRE LEE
Hey, man. How you doing? I'm good. How are you? I'm good, man. Who'd you vote for? I already know. No, I'm just kidding.
KILL TONY
#695 - MATT MCCUSKER + LEMAIRE LEE
It's nice. Rips are like piercings, you know? At first, two was cool, right? Now you end up with 36 and we're just out here making trends. You know what I'm saying?
KILL TONY
#695 - MATT MCCUSKER + LEMAIRE LEE
I mean, it's like different ones. It's like the hot chip Latinas, and then it's like the tall boot and the summertime Latinas. And then it's like the Spanglish Latinas. It depends on what we're talking about here. You know what I'm saying? You can be whatever you want to be.
KILL TONY
#695 - MATT MCCUSKER + LEMAIRE LEE
Hey, that's messed up because I really had asthma until I was 12. It's just fucked up.
KILL TONY
#695 - MATT MCCUSKER + LEMAIRE LEE
It just went away. Wow. Well, our food stamps got cut off, so I got skinny hair.
KILL TONY
#695 - MATT MCCUSKER + LEMAIRE LEE
Funny thing. I call her Granny, but her name is Billie Jean.
KILL TONY
#695 - MATT MCCUSKER + LEMAIRE LEE
yeah facts wow true story wow um okay and she was there she would like make you breakfast or whatever oh yeah yeah uh but uh when you're being raised by your grandmother breakfast isn't at regular breakfast time you had to eat eggs and toast and bacon at 4 30 in the morning in my house so yeah yeah you got up pretty early like before god before i let you
KILL TONY
#695 - MATT MCCUSKER + LEMAIRE LEE
At night, I'm usually, honestly, somewhere at a comedy show, man, trying to make sure everything is being produced correctly, trying to make sure all the black people get in.
KILL TONY
#695 - MATT MCCUSKER + LEMAIRE LEE
And again, I swear, Tony, like if people are laughing, it's good, but it's stressing me out. Then he would do another joke.
KILL TONY
#695 - MATT MCCUSKER + LEMAIRE LEE
People are laughing the whole fucking time. I'm literally killing it up there. You're damn right. Some of the time I am, but you did throw me off a little bit. You're damn fucking right. It was horrible.