Callan (Johnny B)

I presume ended it.

You heard about my ledge bag controversy.

No, I've gone off the news entirely, Veruca.

Pure YouTube now.

I watched a brilliant one the other day.

Fanta pineapple and grapefruit taste test.

Is it the same as Lilt?

47 minutes.

Couldn't look away.

So I triggered the turf muncher slash heifer humper losers by saying that us urban superiors are basically paying for rural Ireland.

Oh, your missus.

Which is just layabouts cross-eyed from subsidies who cultually scroll a done deal.ie all day.

What?

You didn't do that, you dirty thing.

It's true.

We're funding rural Ireland.

Do these people even know how much we have to pay for Aperol spritzes over here?

Says the fella who's been in receipt of state salaries your entire life, correct?

So, I did the hard work of being born into the right kind of family, where bloodlines have toiled for years so I could go straight from private education to power without spilling a single drop of an Aperol spritz on the way.

Did I ever tell you about the time I met a man with two Aperol spritzes in his hand?