Candace Owens

over a wedding dance that happened four years ago because I love rich people.

I love rich people problems.

And today there are apparently a lot of them.

So welcome back to Candice.

I feel like I should receive an honorary law degree.

I feel like I'm an expert now on legal matters.

I've learned a lot about legal letters just over the last couple of years, last three years maybe.

I've definitely learned that there is nothing quite like your first high, right?

That first legal letter that you get.

I mean, for me, after being sued by a sitting president,

of a foreign country whose husband would like to strangle me with his large bare hands.

Any other letter thereafter, it just doesn't do it.

Just not the same experience.

I'm not excited anymore when Noah calls.

I'm sorry, Noah, if you're watching this, I'm very sorry.

It's less exciting for me this year.

In order to feel what I felt

When Trump called me over a first man pretending to be a lady, according to that, regarding that lady's penis, it's just going to take a lot more, you know, to get me hyped, get me amped.

I would basically have to be sued now by like Vladimir Putin over the Great Schism, seeking literal reparations.

We'd have to repair it.