Carmen Rita Wong

When you are from a community that's, you know, looked down on or seen as lesser than, any mistake is magnified greatly, greatly. Everything has to be perfect and clean. And, you know, my gosh, I mean, my socks were ironed and I wore a slip under my uniform and, you know, my hair was perfectly ironed and everything has to be perfect. So no one can say a word against you.

When you are from a community that's, you know, looked down on or seen as lesser than, any mistake is magnified greatly, greatly. Everything has to be perfect and clean. And, you know, my gosh, I mean, my socks were ironed and I wore a slip under my uniform and, you know, my hair was perfectly ironed and everything has to be perfect. So no one can say a word against you.

It's about understanding, especially if it's a parent. When you understand and you see them as a separate human being, so much of the pain stops.

It's about understanding, especially if it's a parent. When you understand and you see them as a separate human being, so much of the pain stops.

It's about understanding, especially if it's a parent. When you understand and you see them as a separate human being, so much of the pain stops.

Through all of this, I've learned to, in many ways, redefine what family is. And for me, family is who shows up. And that was my brother. He showed up for me. I'm still a solo moon, kind of floating around, but I don't feel so untethered. And I'm hoping my daughter has the gift of not feeling untethered and instead feeling much more belonging than I had.

Through all of this, I've learned to, in many ways, redefine what family is. And for me, family is who shows up. And that was my brother. He showed up for me. I'm still a solo moon, kind of floating around, but I don't feel so untethered. And I'm hoping my daughter has the gift of not feeling untethered and instead feeling much more belonging than I had.

Through all of this, I've learned to, in many ways, redefine what family is. And for me, family is who shows up. And that was my brother. He showed up for me. I'm still a solo moon, kind of floating around, but I don't feel so untethered. And I'm hoping my daughter has the gift of not feeling untethered and instead feeling much more belonging than I had.

Breaking cycles, a big part of it isn't just telling the truth. A big part of it is there's no shame in my mother's story. All these things I should be ashamed of, my mother, you know, sleeping around and all this sort of stuff. No, this is life. And the shame ends here with me. Because in shame, you only find isolation and pain. And it keeps us, especially as women, very quiet.

Breaking cycles, a big part of it isn't just telling the truth. A big part of it is there's no shame in my mother's story. All these things I should be ashamed of, my mother, you know, sleeping around and all this sort of stuff. No, this is life. And the shame ends here with me. Because in shame, you only find isolation and pain. And it keeps us, especially as women, very quiet.

Breaking cycles, a big part of it isn't just telling the truth. A big part of it is there's no shame in my mother's story. All these things I should be ashamed of, my mother, you know, sleeping around and all this sort of stuff. No, this is life. And the shame ends here with me. Because in shame, you only find isolation and pain. And it keeps us, especially as women, very quiet.

It's very oppressive. I was not going to let that continue. And if my story can help other people who feel shame about how they came into this world because their mother had an affair or they didn't tell them this or they didn't tell them that, if my story can make them feel less shame, that is so powerful because then they will not cause pain to the people they love around them.

It's very oppressive. I was not going to let that continue. And if my story can help other people who feel shame about how they came into this world because their mother had an affair or they didn't tell them this or they didn't tell them that, if my story can make them feel less shame, that is so powerful because then they will not cause pain to the people they love around them.

It's very oppressive. I was not going to let that continue. And if my story can help other people who feel shame about how they came into this world because their mother had an affair or they didn't tell them this or they didn't tell them that, if my story can make them feel less shame, that is so powerful because then they will not cause pain to the people they love around them.