Catherine May

There's a really profound belief that we fail if we winter.

Whereas actually, if you think about it for just a few moments, it's entirely obvious that it's normal.

You know, we can't live a whole life without having someone dear to us die.

We can't live a whole life without getting sick.

We rarely get to live a whole life without losing a job, for example.

I mean, there are so many different things that can happen.

And yet, quite often when we see them happen to other people, we do this little trick of the mind that says, OK, so why is that their fault?

Like, what would I have done differently?

And I still catch myself doing it.

And that, you know, it's protective, isn't it?

Like, we just don't want to think that that kind of horror is possible.

But then, of course, when it visits us, we are left with no toolkit to process what's happening.

And, of course, guilt is inevitably the thing that comes up first of all, because we do seem to be like a very guilt-laden species in the first place.

And we don't allow ourselves any other exit route, really.