Catherine Paiz
speaker
211 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard May 2025
last heard May 2025
Catherine Paiz’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
I'm doing good. I feel like I'm in a new place in my life and I'm just so excited just to like be free with myself and just be authentic. Not that I wasn't authentic before. I just feel like I'm at just a new stage in my life.
I think for me, it's like I felt silenced for so long. And it wasn't like someone was silencing me. I was silencing myself. Yeah. And I think that for all those years of just not being able to just speak freely and just really sit with myself, It was really hard, Alex. It was really hard. And I think that now I'm just so healed from all of my experiences. Not just my relationship.
All of the traumas and all the experiences that I faced early on in my life. I've just healed so much through all of them. Truly. Like, actually, truly. And I just feel so...
alive I feel like I can really just be myself and it's okay you know it's it's it's okay to be me and sit with myself and I wrote a book yes you did I wrote a book about um you know some of the experiences that I had early in my life um into my adulthood. And I think through my healing and through writing of this book, I've really just like came back to myself.
express myself, you know through all those allegations of cheating and infidelity and all those things it's like I was so afraid to speak up I was so afraid to say i'm an idiot like I just didn't see it, you know, or I was so afraid to say You know, i'm trying to hold the very little piece that we have in our family.
I'm trying to keep that together i'm trying to shelter the the very little piece that we have, you know, and um For me, it was like, you know, I'm just, I'm embarrassed. I don't know what's true or not. There are so many things that aren't true. It's really hard to like differentiate what is true, what isn't until I really found out. Okay.
Yeah, so my mom was born in Nicaragua. My dad is Panamanian. They met in Panama. They were teenagers when they met. And, you know, they had a lot of hardship. They had a very toxic relationship, just like any young couple that is new to a country, new language, new everything. They didn't have family. They didn't have friends. And so the first half of my childhood, my dad was a single dad.
my mom took herself out of that toxic relationship and moved to Florida. And so I knew she did that for the best of the family. And it's interesting, because I had such an awareness even as a child that I knew she's doing the right thing. You know what I mean? I knew that as a child. And I'm like, I know my mom is doing this for us, for the bigger picture.
My parents didn't have much money, really nothing. And I had this really weird relationship with money. I remember thinking, my mom would say things like, we don't have the money for that, or we can't do that. And I remember looking at her and thinking, I'm gonna make a lot of money one day so that I can do all the things that I wanna do and I can support you and I can support my family.
And it was like this drive that I had inside of me
Yeah, hugely. Oh my God, that's such a good question. You're so good at this. Thank you. Stop. Okay. So I feel like when my marriage was going downhill, we didn't have good communication. That's one thing I, you know, I take full accountability is I had the worst communication ever. And I'm still working on it today. I think I've gotten a lot better.
But when I look at my parents, I thought, I don't want to be another person.
couple that doesn't make it you know i want to i want to be i want to have that traditional love you say your i do's and you're in there for you know till death do us part that was like kind of my the way that i saw it you know um also having children you know you want your children to grow up with both their parents and that was my dream it's like i want to be able to have that family.
And when we had it, you know what I mean? And I thought, oh my gosh. Like I remember one morning, I remember thinking like, did I make it? Like looking around, I remember, did I make it? And I was like, well, why do I feel so empty?
Yeah, I moved to Los Angeles. I had this fuel to move to Los Angeles. I was super excited and I bought a one way ticket. My friend invited me to an all white attire party. And I walked in and I saw Austin from across the room. Austin McBroom from across the room. And I looked at him and I thought, I don't know why, but I feel like I know him. So interesting.
And she introduced us and we shook hands and that was it. And then I took an Uber home and I didn't talk to him. So about a month later, he had messaged me on, I think like Twitter or something. He was like, hey, I'd like to send you something. And I didn't respond. So a month went by. And then he messaged me again and he was like, hey, I'd like to take you to dinner. And I almost didn't go.
I was like, I don't know why, but something's telling me to go. But I'm just like, I don't know. I don't know. And so I'll never forget that morning. He was like, so he goes, do you like sushi? And I said, no, no. He's like, okay, well, me neither, but I got us a reservation at Nobu Malibu. And I said, okay, that's nice. Like in my head, I'd never been there before, so I'll go.
So we go and we're sitting across from each other, you know, we're by the ocean and we're talking. He was asking me a lot of questions about me. I thought that was really nice. You know, he's a young college student. It was like he was going into senior year of college playing D1 basketball. And he's talking and all of a sudden, like, I just don't hear anything. And I'm like, oh my gosh.
That is a person that I'm going to have children with. And that is a person that I'm going to marry. And I knew it in that moment. Like, nothing could tell me otherwise. What was it about him? It was just a feeling. It was just this feeling. It's like this inner knowing. And... I thought, I just know it's him.
No, no. Why? Because it was just meant to be. I saw this thing recently. I don't I don't know who said this. I'll find out and let everyone know. But she said when you meet the one or when you meet someone that you're meant to be be with, you skip the dating phase. So it's like we just went from like meeting each other to being like we're married kind of thing. You know what I mean?
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