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Chad Daniels

Appearances

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

0.109

Gang, the 2025 edition of the RU Garbage card game, third edition, is on sale right now at rugarbage.com. Play it with your friends, play it with your family, and see who is trash.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1047.896

Yeah, let's talk about open phone. Open the phones. Gang, if you're running a business, you know that every time you miss a call, you're leaving money on the table.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1056.038

We don't like to do that because we like the cash. When every customer conversation matters, you need a phone system that keeps up and helps you stay connected. That's why you need open phone. Uh-huh. Open phone is the number one business phone system that streamlines and scales your customer communications.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1090.424

Hey, Barry, 415.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

111.708

Thank you for coming out, guys. We appreciate you. As I was saying before, you're the third couple on the show. You guys have your podcast, Pretend Problems. Kelsey has a special out on Hulu and YouTube, Mark Your Territory. And, of course, Mr. Daniels has a special out on Netflix, Empty Nester.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1129.69

What about Light Strike, baby? Shout out to Light Strike. That's right. Listen up, all you party animals out there. The Two Bears 5K in Tampa, Florida on May 4th is sponsored by the first beverage built to outpace the party. Of course, we're talking about Light Strike. Hard refresher. An excellent source of 5% alcohol.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1181.537

Party harder, party longer.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1256.181

That's respectable. Yours was probably like a foosball player.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1267.49

Give me an example of a name of a famous foosball player from back in the day.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

130.779

Absolutely. We appreciate you guys being here.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1311.961

I'll give you both a point for that.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1314.203

Thanks. Not too shabby. Let's do the... The high school.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1333.553

Can I get a spelling on that, please?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1338.436

He was looking up Cindy Head.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1360.762

How old was the astronaut? You didn't go to high school with an astronaut, did you?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1384.374

He's got the 360.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1391.056

Only guy in town ever riding a Porsche.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

14.661

Yes, he was.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1459.556

Hurdles are tough for me. It wasn't my event. No one is shy.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

146.914

She's trash. Which you guys were both trash.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1472.044

He's eating it. It rained right through him. Okay, sticking to the travel. How's the hotel situation with you guys together? Are you guys a pretty good cohesive unit?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

151.397

Without a doubt. Now you've teamed up like a garbage Voltron. Mega trash. To get letters from the HOA, I'm sure. How long have you guys been living together?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1523.805

That's all that roast beef.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1528.267

Do either of you guys unpack? This is a big Luke thing. Do either of you guys unpack your stuff when you're at a hotel? Or do you live out of a suitcase? Put it in the drawers or in the closet?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1557.936

My pillows, they're all over the place. You would not do well in a relationship with Mr. Daniels. They usually fall on the floor when I'm sleeping, and I've got to reach down and grab them. That's dumb. Because I hug one.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1584.085

You all roll dog it on your feet. I bring slippers. No kidding.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1590.067

Man's being like you, slippers.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1597.349

You don't wear slippers at the house, do you?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1633.243

We're down to 180, dude. Were you a cat person before? No. Never had cats? No. That's a big jump. That's a fucking huge jump. She got two of them. Adults, obviously, not kittens, so you couldn't even get cutesy-cutesy with them and then watch them grow up. Those things just don't like you.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

165.768

Two years?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

166.989

And who moved into where?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1683.567

Thorns and Roses? Yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1707.044

They're really good. Are you reading anything?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1711.907

Ah, shout out to Sam Tallent. Out on Random House right now, I believe.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1748.785

That's my boy. Yeah, so it's really cool. Okay, very good. Two good ones. Is that a typical read for you would be a novel, or are you more of a nonfiction? Guns and ammo quarterly. Ha ha ha! I picture him reading the autobiography of Douglas MacArthur or something like that.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1777.112

Are there reading materials next to the toilet in the bathroom?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1787.931

Do we use our phones in there?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1792.214

Wordling. Classy.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1839.676

Hey, that's great. Are there any puzzle puzzles like on a dining room table?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1844.9

Jigsaws, that's what it's called.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1880.44

It's a mirror. They're just sitting there staring at it. Yeah. Okay. And you guys said you moved, you guys both, you got a place together. Right. Yes. How was the decorating of that? Was there things that you guys had in a previous life that you brought or was it all new furniture and all that kind of stuff and that decision-making process?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

191.786

A lot of compromise. She did the moving.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

194.849

Spokane to Minnesota. Talk about a lateral move.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

199.732

They probably thought you were moving to Paris or something like that. It's a Delta hub. It's a Delta hub. That's what Midwest people say. We're traveling.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

1998.441

All right. The stakes have just been raised. 50-50? 50-50.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2025.92

That's right. You have a lake house. Right. Okay. I forgot about that. Yes. How far away is that from the main house? That's where the bodies are buried. I probably made that joke.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2037.858

Okay. And that's you guys' vacation home.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2055.407

Hold on. So in the summer, will you you'll be there and go out on tour from there? Yeah. Is there like stretches where he's there and you're at the other house?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2106.618

Do the kids come out and stay out there for the summer and then work from there?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2122.151

So this is like somewhat of a destination for the summer, like the Jersey Shore would be to people in Philly. So there's like a community out there. It's not like a cabin on a lake by itself.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2147.861

He can only equate it to a while. Well, that makes a little more sense than him in a cabin by himself on a lake. No, that makes more sense to me.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2171.663

Take care of it. He's talking to people who are whittled. All right. Okay. We're having fun. Yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2201.137

Chad Daniels is not a gift card guy, I would have to assume.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2236.303

That's funny that this came up because I got a situation. I'd like to get a 360 man's opinion on this. Okay. Can I borrow 80 bucks? You got the keys to that port? Yeah. I have a dinner on Saturday at a pretty nice place that my wife's been wanting to go to. The girls at work got her a gift certificate to this place.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2267.397

I'm not a gift certificate guy. I didn't know there was a gift card in the works. I'm very social anxiety when it comes to that stuff. You know what I mean? I tip really well. I don't want any problems. It's got to be smooth. I'm not splitting a check or anything like that. This gift card that the girls got her at work, I know is not going to cover the bill.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2287.932

I think it's $200. Okay. That's nice. I want to say it's $200. This is obviously a rare occasion. It's a special place. She really wants to go, whatever. It's an expensive joint. I got to wear a fucking jacket tie. Whoa. Do you have three with you we could sew together? That was a question.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2308.107

I kind of don't want to use the gift card because I know I'm going to have to go, here's the gift card, and then put the rest on this card. And especially if it's a nice place like that, I don't want these fucking rich fuckers thinking that I don't belong there.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2327.906

What would you do?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2351.176

This will be this Saturday, but that is what I want. Oh, this? Okay, gotcha.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2368.882

Okay, let's talk about acorns. Shout out to acorns, gang. Saving the family over here. If it wasn't for acorns, I'd be screwed. You ain't lying. I'd be going through it like water. I'm signed up on acorns. I have a little taken out every week, putting a little nest egg away. By the time I'm 88, I'm going to be a goddamn millionaire. So look out, baby.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2387.41

Gang, if you're looking for ways to save, I'm telling you right now, Acorns is simple. It's easy. You get to track your progress. You get to see what's going on. They give you your potential of what you could be earning. It's absolutely fantastic. So if you're a dumbass like me and not great with spending and saving, do yourself. Get over to Acorns and get yourself straightened out, man.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

240.853

He's been touring for 40 years.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2449.144

Kip, you like Blue Chew? Bonerville. Yeah, let's go. Calling all you softies out there.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2456.288

Listen, let's be honest. You get a little older, you put on a little weight, you need a little help in the bedroom. You know what I mean? Sometimes when you're at the gym and you're lifting heavy weight, you need a little spotter. Let Blue Chew do a little spotting for you in the boudoir.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2529.121

Because I don't know how, if we go there and I tell her, which I normally would, I don't want to use the gift card. You go ahead and use it with one of your girlfriends. It's too nice of a, she's not going to go back. So I got to use it.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2565.304

I want to take 75 out on the gift card, put the rest on this Discover card.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2591.263

I tried.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2594.446

Where do I look right here? No, that's good advice. I tried. That's good. That's good.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2600.611

Speaking of dinner, do you guys like to share things? Will you share an appetizer?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2606.656

Okay. Well, you maybe get something like Kelsey gets the lasagna and you get the steak and, hey, we'll share it. Or are we individual entrees only? No, we're sharing. He's not a freak with that stuff?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2621.313

You are really poking the bear. My guy, I'm telling you, you got to tread lightly today.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2631.042

I figured he would be protective. He's a particular guy. It's his plate.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

264.165

Where they put the people in the wheelchair. Yeah, exactly.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2644.013

He's got the wooden knuckles on.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2648.858

Is that a wooden gun? Yes, it is.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2665.96

I'm sorry.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2669.041

I'll have the honey-roasted cashews, please. Cashews?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2677.807

My bad, juicy. We got them fighting now.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

272.008

Can I get a ride up the hill? Send me right to the store real quick.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2770.312

We love it.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2801.48

Nothing too trashy, if I can say really up to this point. You know?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2822.736

What about like on a Sunday? You know, you're letting the hair down a little bit. Smoothie and some cashews.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2841.195

You're both flying in on a Sunday. You're both getting home. That's got to be nice and cozy. You're both coming off the road. Yeah. Get home.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2849.985

Are we unpacking right away that night? No. No.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2868.218

I just opened my suitcase from tour... A month, 20, 21.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2876.446

And the reason I did it is because I ran out of socks and underwear, and I remembered that I had some in there. And I figured since they had been sitting in the suitcase so long, theoretically, they were fresher than anything I was going to pull out of the thing. You were wrong.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2934.544

Let's get to sleep in a little bit. How many... Are we in a king-size bed at the house? Yeah. Okay. How many pillows are on the bed?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

2943.088

That's not... No, on the bed.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

3001.943

On your back, you can snore. Two behind your head sometimes? Yeah, if I'm reading. Nothing between anybody's legs or holding anything? Nothing like that? Mm-mm. And you guys sleep away from each other or facing into each other? Oh.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

3052.336

It's more functional. Yes. Gotcha. Okay. Is there a TV in the room? No. No TV. So when we go to bed, we go to bed.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

3060.883

Shut it down. Read? We read a little bit? We can.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

3065.006

How about the phones?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

3083.742

Yeah, it does the rain sounds and all that shit too, right?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

3087.224

But she also has the wind down.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

3130.195

Just immediate system of a down. He likes to fall asleep to radio chatter from Vietnam.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

3179.808

Now you're a Lowe's man.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

3182.308

What's the ceiling of your handiness? I would have to assume it's pretty high. So high. Yeah? I could do stuff. What kind of tools you got?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

3210.166

Who's cutting the grass? You? Yeah. Or landscaper. Oh, me. Sorry. I thought you meant between us.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

3241.375

Whose car is that now, huh? My car, yeah. Okay. Can you frame out a house? That's a lot. Framing out a house. My God. A spa villa? What does that even mean?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

3258.774

Hang drywall? Mm-hmm. Electrical work?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

3273.062

And in the summer out at the lake house, what sort of things in that vein are you doing? Will you set yourself up with a project for the summer?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

3379.507

Fair enough. Would you clothes shop there? Would you grab a t-shirt, something like that? I'd get whatever. No fear.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

339.42

Spieth is a red meat. Hey, I'm with you on that. You don't do an au jus? Wait, you said roast beef sandwich, right? Yeah. Hot roast beef or cold?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

3419.436

Kick your ass. I don't play. Physically. Oh, yeah, of course. What's the course by the lake? It's mini.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

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Private?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

3438.149

Do they have a clubhouse where we can go and have lunch? Yeah. Okay. Anybody going in?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

3451.035

It doesn't cover a full round. Do they have a locker room? Like a country club? No, uh-uh.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

3457.718

What's the snack or the restaurant? Like nice?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

3465.862

Okay. It's not, yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

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From like Curb Your Enthusiasm. That's the kind of clubhouse I'm looking for.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

349.648

I warm it up. I toast the bread. Oh, you're making this at home? Sure. Okay. Hold on. Back this up. Hold on. Slow down a second. We're going to get into all this. Yeah. But since you brought up roast beef, you go to the store. I go to the store. Okay. What's the usual lunch meat order? And is that what you guys call it? She gets turkey.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

3501.621

I've had a slow week.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

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I've got to say this, you know, separately, pretty trashy. Sure. Come together.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

3515.551

Gotta get you to a nurdle. Gotta get you to a nurdle. Yeah, yeah. Chad, would there be a reciprocating side on Kelsey's side to the roast beef ketchup situation?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

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Mayo? Mayo's never great. I'm listening.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

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Speaking of pizza, where's that pizza coming from? Is it a local spot? Or are you doing like a Domino's or whatever?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

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Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

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Wait, so hold on. You got a box of pizza, you have it in the hotel, you put it outside. No one has grabbed it. If that's your question. That's a nice hotel. That's a super nice hotel. Was it a nice hotel? No, not at all. I cleaned it. The pizza lived in the hallway all weekend. You don't know if somebody's coming and opening it and licking their fingers and touching it.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

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I have no clue, but... Dang, you worry about the pillow on the floor? You're eating hallway pizza. See? Not that I'm against it. No, no, no, you're right. Complicated man.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

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There's a lot of just weird rules where I'm like, nope. Yep. So the pizza on Sundays is usually a rectangle pie. Mm-hmm. Wow, that's very old school. Interesting. That's very, very interesting.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

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Incredible.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

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First time in Paris?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

3714.187

You have a steak frites in Paris?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

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It's funny how good it is over there.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

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Do we have a social network outside of common?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

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Do you guys go to a dinner party?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

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Wow. I'll do the grilling. All right, man. Take it easy.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

3855.917

There's no real dirt under the fingernails with them together. Kelsey Cook and Chad Daniels. I love you. Pretend Problems is the podcast. As we said before, Kelsey has a new special out on Hulu and YouTube. Mark your territory. And Empty Nesters on Netflix.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

3869.952

Yeah, fantastic. Thanks for coming by.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

389.71

I think sandwich meat. Sandwich meat? Well, that's very old school. Lunch meat is the gentleman's term. Lunch meat, okay.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

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By the way, did you even post a recipe about... Brownies or blondies recently, did you?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not that big into the Cadbury mini eggs. I'm more of a Hershey's mini eggs man. Would you have ever had those?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

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They're fantastic.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

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I've never done that. Jen McDonald taught me that in ninth grade. We were over at her house, and I saw her do it, and I was like, holy shit. And I went home, crushed them up in a coffee cup, pour milk in there, and eat it like cereal. The icing gets really hard, and the cookie gets really soft. Oh, God. I'm tingling. God, that sounds good. What else you guys got coming up? Plug dates away.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

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This will be right out.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

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Love it. Love it. Mr. Daniels?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

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Two of the absolute best. Two of the absolute funniest. Yeah. Again, listen to their podcast, Pretend Problems. Check out the specials. Guys, we love you. Kippy, what do you got for them?

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Grab a set of cards. Check out the Route 66 special. Guys, again, we love you. Thank you, guys. And gang, we love you. We love you. Bye.

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Really? Yeah. Very nice. Thanks. And where are we at in Minnesota? Are we near Minneapolis? Yeah, we're near Minneapolis. Okay. We're in the cities. Roughly, we're in a suburb of the Twin Cities.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

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Not bad.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

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Okay. But it comes with blood.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

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They do it there. Yeah, they do it there.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

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So that's what you get?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

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Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Oh, yeah. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that they're good to be classy. Yeah. Or if they're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

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Once you add it to mushrooms, to dip that in ketchup is weird.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

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And theoretically, it should be Swiss cheese if you're putting it on roast beef. Just saying, as far as fat guy rules, it would have to be Swiss.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

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You're not getting the cheese at the deli counter, too? Give me a pound of American.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

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How long of a days are you guys shopping? Because you're both working. You're both traveling.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

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Follow the fucking rules. How hard is that? I'm right there with you, big guy. He lives by a roast beef code.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

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Hey, I'm on your side.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

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She's over in the kitchen having a bowl of Crackle and Oat Bran. Okay. That's it? Slow morning. All right. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? He's an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ.

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All right, hold on. Let's back this up. Let's get more into the grocery store, but first to travel. How... How is the traveling together? Because theoretically, you're both seasoned comics. You both travel a lot for business. So that usually keeps people on the same page because we have the trouble now that when we travel as a group, we travel like the A-team.

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I got my deodorant in my mouth. But sometimes we're finding now that when we do bring the significant others or family involved in our travel, it's like, what the fuck? It's like they've never been in an airport before.

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A little splinter in your cheek. A little Murphy's oil soap on that.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

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I can't punch you in the face. Give me a splinter. So you guys should move pretty well together through the airport. Yeah. Any complaints on either part?

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But fair, right?

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What about the flight attendants? Do they come over or anything?

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They were all wrapped up in the seatbelt extenders. There's a man shouting in the aisle. Did that cause any attention from the group?

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I don't disagree.

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Yes, sir. And gang, we couldn't be more excited to have two incredibly special guests back with us again today. Both very funny comedians. They're a power couple. Midwestern power couple. People magazine's calling them. Not too shabby in the bedroom either, I hear. Fish and Game called them. Ooh, that's hot. Hot. Give it up for Chad Daniels and Kelsey Cook, everybody. Thank you so much.

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Something tells me that situation would have made it worse if you were showing TikTok to the flight attendants and your duct tape to the seat.

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Both have clear.

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Hmm. Who's picking or doing the travel when you guys do stuff together professionally or when you do stuff vacation-wise? Who would be handling that? I think it's both of us.

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I wasn't even on the plane.