Chana Joffe-Walt

This threw me, hearing Banias talk about killing Israelis. No Israelis were killed from these missiles. One Palestinian man was, near Jericho. It's one of those empty truisms about war, that kids in a war learn to hate the other side. A true thing about war that also can feel a little abstract. But here it was, showing up, randomly folded into the rest of Banias' narration.

This threw me, hearing Banias talk about killing Israelis. No Israelis were killed from these missiles. One Palestinian man was, near Jericho. It's one of those empty truisms about war, that kids in a war learn to hate the other side. A true thing about war that also can feel a little abstract. But here it was, showing up, randomly folded into the rest of Banias' narration.

To her playing with me, messing with me, that the home she was sheltering in was bombed. Which it could have been, but wasn't. I asked Maram if I could talk with her about this day, told her what Banyasa told me. What was happening that day?

To her playing with me, messing with me, that the home she was sheltering in was bombed. Which it could have been, but wasn't. I asked Maram if I could talk with her about this day, told her what Banyasa told me. What was happening that day?

Were you celebrating? Were you guys celebrating?

Were you celebrating? Were you guys celebrating?

Maram told me she does not tell Banias to hate Israel or celebrate when Israel is attacked. Banias' dad, she says, also doesn't do this. But Maram was not surprised to hear Banias was saying this. She remembers feeling the same way when she was a kid growing up in Gaza. Maram was 10 years old when she first experienced Israeli bombing, after the second Intifada broke out.

Maram told me she does not tell Banias to hate Israel or celebrate when Israel is attacked. Banias' dad, she says, also doesn't do this. But Maram was not surprised to hear Banias was saying this. She remembers feeling the same way when she was a kid growing up in Gaza. Maram was 10 years old when she first experienced Israeli bombing, after the second Intifada broke out.

She remembers crying when she saw her first dead body, and collapsing when she saw footage of a 12-year-old Palestinian kid, Mohammed al-Dura, killed while hiding next to his father. Banyas was born in 2016. Her first war was when she was four years old.

She remembers crying when she saw her first dead body, and collapsing when she saw footage of a 12-year-old Palestinian kid, Mohammed al-Dura, killed while hiding next to his father. Banyas was born in 2016. Her first war was when she was four years old.

There's something I've been thinking about when it comes to kids in wars, but kids in Gaza in particular. It's something a psychologist told me, Dr. Iman Farajallah, who studies the effect of war and occupation on Palestinian kids. She told me it really gets under her skin when people at the UN or healthcare professionals or whatever say kids in Gaza are suffering from PTSD.

There's something I've been thinking about when it comes to kids in wars, but kids in Gaza in particular. It's something a psychologist told me, Dr. Iman Farajallah, who studies the effect of war and occupation on Palestinian kids. She told me it really gets under her skin when people at the UN or healthcare professionals or whatever say kids in Gaza are suffering from PTSD.

Post-traumatic stress means the traumatic event is over. For kids in Gaza, the trauma is continuous. There is no post. There's no opportunity for recovery. Instead, there is just coping. Dr. Faragella says you'll see kids cope in all different ways. Some kids act out. Some can't leave their parents' side. Other kids get obsessed with soccer or drawing.

Post-traumatic stress means the traumatic event is over. For kids in Gaza, the trauma is continuous. There is no post. There's no opportunity for recovery. Instead, there is just coping. Dr. Faragella says you'll see kids cope in all different ways. Some kids act out. Some can't leave their parents' side. Other kids get obsessed with soccer or drawing.

Or children try to shape their world in other ways. For instance, Maram told me when Banias was six years old, there was an Israeli military operation in Gaza, lots of fighting, and Banias was sitting on the window watching ambulances rush people to the hospital, blowing bubbles out the window. Maram asked her, what are you doing? And Banias said, I'm trying to change the mood.

Or children try to shape their world in other ways. For instance, Maram told me when Banias was six years old, there was an Israeli military operation in Gaza, lots of fighting, and Banias was sitting on the window watching ambulances rush people to the hospital, blowing bubbles out the window. Maram asked her, what are you doing? And Banias said, I'm trying to change the mood.

It's almost like she's like willing it. She's willing. She's using all of the force to will life into being easier than it is.

It's almost like she's like willing it. She's willing. She's using all of the force to will life into being easier than it is.

That was basically the end of my conversation with Maram. As she did the first time around, Banias decided it was time for us to move on. My calls with Banyas have grown more infrequent. The last time she called, I was in my office heading into a meeting. I was going to just say a quick hello, make sure she was okay. Hello? Hi, Banyas. How are you? Hi. Are you calling me on video? Yes, I am.

That was basically the end of my conversation with Maram. As she did the first time around, Banias decided it was time for us to move on. My calls with Banyas have grown more infrequent. The last time she called, I was in my office heading into a meeting. I was going to just say a quick hello, make sure she was okay. Hello? Hi, Banyas. How are you? Hi. Are you calling me on video? Yes, I am.