Chris Ramsey

Early hours of this morning, I walk up to him standing in front of his chest of drawers trying to work out which way round his kegs go by the light of his phone torch.

He took, in my opinion, far too long to satisfy himself as to whether they were the right way and put the boogers on.

Gave me the proper ache at 3am in the morning while he thought I was, in fact, still asleep.

No, but no, we've talked about this before.

Put your clothes somewhere else.

Yeah.

Get up, get out.

Yeah, if he knows he's doing it every day, stick them on a chair downstairs.

Nah, I'd be so upset.

Pile them up in the hallway.

I'd be so upset if you were getting ready in the room and I was still asleep.

Yeah, I get it, I get it.

Yeah, no, it's not happening like... I just imagine, I imagine I just toss it and turn and it's looking over and it just looks and he's just trying to find the label and he's got his phone and maybe the phone might be in his mouth and he's struggling and he's struggling and he's got his kegs on and he's just gone...

Disgusting.

I will never get sick of icks.

I know.

I'll never ever get sick of them.

They're just such a window into the sort of

what's the word like the sort of fallibility and how like delicate fancying someone is and how easily it can be fucking shattered oh it's just i love it i love them it's made me so happy that and i can see him i can see him just i have to do it when i put my kegs on after i've never done it by a torchlight but poor bugger he's only trying to get out and go to work man

As always, thank you so much for listening and watching this week's episode of Shag Mountain Oil.