Christine Gentry

So it's one of those first dates where you catch yourself getting way too excited because things are going way too well.

It's supposed to be just drinks that turn into dinner, more drinks.

And then we were back at his place in Inwood in New York City, and we're just talking, talking, talking.

And as it often does on first dates, the conversation sneaked around to our previous experiences on the app that we had met on.

And he starts laughing and says, oh, man, the last girl that I met on there, she seemed great.

But then when we went back to her house, and get this, she was bald.

like something about her immune system, I don't know, she had a wig, and she took it off in front of me.

Like, how crazy is that?

I was so weirded out.

And what this man did not know is that he was sitting across from someone who had the exact same condition, the odds of which I cannot even begin to imagine.

My immune system attacked every hair follicle on my body when I was three years old, and then again when I was eight, and then again when I was 14.

And I'd been wearing wigs since high school, but it was something very few people knew because I kept it locked, quarantined, you know, behind this thick door inside of me.

And at that moment, it felt like I was floating above us, looking down at this conversation, and I thought about telling him.

I thought about the bravery of the woman before me, and I thought about how fucking stupid he was going to feel if I did it.

But I'm embarrassed to tell you, I chickened out.

I said, you know what, it's late, I have to work tomorrow, grab my stuff, and left.

And I just sobbed that whole subway ride home.

Because not six months before, I had finally escaped this horribly abusive relationship, and I had gone into therapy to figure out, how did I get into this relationship?

How is it that I stayed for so long?

And we'd figured out that it was because I had let that man in that space, right?