Cole Castle
👤 PersonPodcast Appearances
I like to have the TV on during sex, but you got to be careful what show is on while you're doing it. Because the only thing worse than finishing quick with a girl is finishing quick than hearing a laugh track immediately after. Now it just feels like a whole audience is degrading me. My go-to genre to have during sex? True crime.
Because at least if I give her a bad performance, she can look at the TV and see some girl getting raped and murdered, and I can go, hey, could be a lot worse for you, huh? It's like, yeah, I didn't make you cum, but you do get to go outside again, so... Count your blessings, all right? I was drinking with some family a couple weeks ago. My cousin with Down syndrome came up to me.
He goes, hey Cole, you should stop drinking. It's not good for you. And in my head, I was like, I'm not gonna stop drinking tonight until I'm on your level, little cuzzo. I also wanna be drooling on myself at some point. That's when I realized getting drunk is just microdosing Down syndrome. There's a lot of similarities. You know, you're harder to understand. You eat more. You fall more.
And no one's going to trust you behind the wheel. So a lot of similarities, I think. People start drinking and say, let's get fucked up. I say, let's get fucked down. All right, thank y'all. Cole Castle.
Yeah, I was on a few months ago.
I think it went about the same. Okay. Yeah, we'll see.
Yeah, okay. Well, you know, there's the interview, but yeah.
The interview is a long... I'll try to face you so you wouldn't, like, notice, but... Oh, yeah.
I sell insurance to financial advisors. Wow.
It's not. Criminal. I mean, I work from home. My coworkers are cool. That's really all I care about.
Yeah, I mean, after the pandemic, it's like they can just hire. Like, our office is in Florida, so it doesn't even matter.
Uh, I was... I went to Texas Tech, so Raider Ash was a real thing. Hell yeah, you got that little... It keeps going!
Yeah. I thought it was a joke. Like, dude, watch out for Raider Ash. And I was like, yeah, all right. What does that mean? Raider rash, it's basically like chlamydia at Texas Tech. Yeah, so you got chlamydia. Yeah, they just said raider rash. It was STD, but then, like, dude, everyone gets chlamydia there. Wow.
Dude, yeah, I was, like, I was studying finance, which is, like, kind of hard, but, dude, I couldn't even pass a test at the clinic. Those were the hardest times. You make me want to shave my mustache, dude.
Uh, I don't know. If you don't get tested, you don't have one, so... It's been a while. I don't know. Probably since college, I think. Yeah. I got tested, like, a year ago. I'm good to go. Okay, all right. That's good, a year.
No, no. Dude, I feel like I can always come up with bits during sex. During sex? Yeah, or after. If I can't write, if I have writer's block, I'm like, let me just bang someone, and then I could probably get a joke out there.
No, no, just sex right now, just sex.
No, I'm just, I'm really good at, like, the pillow talk after. Like, sex, all right, but, like, I'll hold a mean conversation after. Really?
Is that true? Yeah, like, I think, like, the sex is all right, but the pillow talk is like, all right, I'll hang out with that guy again.
Heidi, thank you for having sex with me tonight.
So, like, do you, like, play Fortnite? Or, like, why...
Yeah, I usually just kill them, actually. All right. You're pretty cool. All right.
Yeah, okay. Cool. What are you doing after? Well, we just had sex, so give me like 30 minutes and like a powerade, then like what are you doing later?
Oh, you can make Powerade? Yeah. Wow. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I'll try some of your Powerade. Yeah, okay. What color?
Blue? Okay. Yeah, I can do some blue Heidi Powerade.