Coleman Ruiz

That just doesn't make any sense.

There's other ways to enter, I believe.

I believe I needed, I don't know what other people need, I needed a mentor to help me

contextualize what I was coming from and what I'm going to.

And my experience with the plant medicines was it kicked the door wide open and took that beautiful,

ice sculpture, perhaps at a person's wedding, and shattered it on the floor.

And I was, again, left alone.

My fault, not anybody else's.

Left alone to figure out how to put that ice sculpture back together, piece by piece.

And my belief is I could have avoided that

by having a much more deliberate process so when suddenly the ice sculpture was on the ground and every bit of intellect that i built over you know however long four decades i was i was flat on my back

And as I told you, Andrew, and I've been, you know, really verbal about with so many friends who only want to talk about it in quiet circles, which I totally understand and respect.

And if you want to talk about it in a quiet circle, like email the Humor Lag podcast, and you can give them my cell phone number because I know how important it is to people when they're in that stage, is that was another thing that I never thought was possible for humans to

it was severe depression, severe.

And I was so,

because I guess I just never thought about it, again, or never had a mentor, the shocking thing, Andrew, was how shocked I was.

It was like, if I had known something like this was real, not that I would have listened to anybody if they said it, but the most shocking thing was that, again, this could happen to me.

And when it did happen, I was completely unequipped to deal with... It took... Forget how weak.

Forget every other thing in my life.

It took...