Conan O'Brien
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Appearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
Have you ever noticed that your brother has hinges where his joints should be?
Remember when you were growing up, your brother would say, I wish I could be a real boy?
I'm saying your father carved your brother that he is, in fact, Geppetto-esque.
And I do hope that someday Danny becomes a real boy.
You are just, I'm thinking of like a sprinkler shooting water.
You're a sprinkler that just shoots filth, but you get filth on every single part of the lawn.
You know, the lawn is saturated with filth.
My penis is always reading a tiny copy of The New Yorker.
The point is that your parents need to accept who you are.
And I know you get into it with your mom a lot.
Because I think that you were quite...