Cooper Johns

But the one thing you and a hobo have in common is you must use the same cologne.

Between the stench of urine, breath of a dog's anus, and your inability to control your saliva when you speak, you're the kind of bloke who even Jeffrey Dahmer wouldn't wrap his lips around.

You're all right.

But let's talk about something Pete is actually good at, cooking, because you are a qualified chef specialising in the dish Mongolian lamb, which is ironic given he often has Mongolian man on his breath.

So let's raise our glasses to intern Pete, a man who's 90% veneers, 10% dyslexic, and 100% the reason our ratings in Melbourne are low.

I didn't realise we were going to that level anyway, so let's wait and see for next time.

Do you know the amount of stuff that made the cutting room floor?

I thought that was tamed.

You know what?

Let's roll out the stuff that made the cutting room floor.