Corvin

So my question here is, how can I get my wife to contribute financially and see the importance of working together as a team in that regard? Oh, man. You're close to the edge, aren't you?

So my question here is, how can I get my wife to contribute financially and see the importance of working together as a team in that regard? Oh, man. You're close to the edge, aren't you?

Yeah, it's... It's been wild. I mean, we've been together for about six years now. And the first five years... she, she didn't work right. Um, mind you, she's fully capable, no limitations. She doesn't have any restrictions to be able to work. She's, she's capable and she, she's bright too. She's, um, you know, she's, she's pretty sharp.

Yeah, it's... It's been wild. I mean, we've been together for about six years now. And the first five years... she, she didn't work right. Um, mind you, she's fully capable, no limitations. She doesn't have any restrictions to be able to work. She's, she's capable and she, she's bright too. She's, um, you know, she's, she's pretty sharp.

Um, and around year two, I recognize that, you know, we got to work together financially. Part of our relationship is not just the commitment and the loyalty. I mean, finances is part of our livelihood. We got to work together. Um, So somewhere around year two, I told her, you got to start working on something, whether you want to start a new career or start a new education process, something.

Um, and around year two, I recognize that, you know, we got to work together financially. Part of our relationship is not just the commitment and the loyalty. I mean, finances is part of our livelihood. We got to work together. Um, So somewhere around year two, I told her, you got to start working on something, whether you want to start a new career or start a new education process, something.

And for the three or four years thereafter, it was just excuses as to why I couldn't, why I can't do it because of this, I can't do it because of that. And about six months ago, I roughly just kind of threw in the towel, just emotionally. I was like, you know what? I mean, I can't argue with this about you anymore. I can't. I try to be nice. I try to be rude. I try to, um, different ways.

And for the three or four years thereafter, it was just excuses as to why I couldn't, why I can't do it because of this, I can't do it because of that. And about six months ago, I roughly just kind of threw in the towel, just emotionally. I was like, you know what? I mean, I can't argue with this about you anymore. I can't. I try to be nice. I try to be rude. I try to, um, different ways.

Like, Hey, I'm going to change our, our phone plan to a more cheaper plan. And maybe you'll get the message that way. Just nothing, nothing really processed to through to her. And so now our relationship, um, I mean, we don't argue anymore, which is a good thing, but I think it's, yeah, you're out. Yeah.

Like, Hey, I'm going to change our, our phone plan to a more cheaper plan. And maybe you'll get the message that way. Just nothing, nothing really processed to through to her. And so now our relationship, um, I mean, we don't argue anymore, which is a good thing, but I think it's, yeah, you're out. Yeah.

No, we're doing okay. I mean, we're covering all of our bills.

No, we're doing okay. I mean, we're covering all of our bills.

Yeah. I mean, it's funny too. Cause when I was talking to her dad about a blessing for us to get married, he looked me right in the eyes and he says, you know, she needs a lot of support. Right. And I didn't, I mean, I understood what he meant to an extent, but I didn't know that he meant this. And,

Yeah. I mean, it's funny too. Cause when I was talking to her dad about a blessing for us to get married, he looked me right in the eyes and he says, you know, she needs a lot of support. Right. And I didn't, I mean, I understood what he meant to an extent, but I didn't know that he meant this. And,

For her, I think it's just always the expectation that somebody else is supposed to take care of my finances. And then, you know, it took me this many years to realize that she meant that. Like, you take care of it. And I just feel, I feel abandoned.

For her, I think it's just always the expectation that somebody else is supposed to take care of my finances. And then, you know, it took me this many years to realize that she meant that. Like, you take care of it. And I just feel, I feel abandoned.

You know?

You know?

No, besides that, I mean, the place is clean. We're not struggling financially. I do well enough to take care of us. But the thing is, we're getting older. I mean, retirement's coming up. What are we going to do?

No, besides that, I mean, the place is clean. We're not struggling financially. I do well enough to take care of us. But the thing is, we're getting older. I mean, retirement's coming up. What are we going to do?

Yeah, I tried that, and she shuts down. She'll either start crying or she'll get frustrated and just be like, I can't have this conversation with you. Yeah, that's a move. That's a move. Yeah, that's a total move.

Yeah, I tried that, and she shuts down. She'll either start crying or she'll get frustrated and just be like, I can't have this conversation with you. Yeah, that's a move. That's a move. Yeah, that's a total move.

She's working now, but she's almost 40 years old, and she makes, if I had to guess, because she won't really let me into her finances, if I had to guess, she probably makes $10,000 a year. And I'm looking at her like, you can do better than this.

She's working now, but she's almost 40 years old, and she makes, if I had to guess, because she won't really let me into her finances, if I had to guess, she probably makes $10,000 a year. And I'm looking at her like, you can do better than this.

Yeah, and it's just, you know, these golden opportunities. I mean, we're a little older now, but many moons ago, her dad was like, you know what, your education, just pick somewhere to go that you like, and, you know, I'll fund it, and we got to get you prepared for the, you know, for the workplace. Yeah, but do you realize how stupid that logic is?

Yeah, and it's just, you know, these golden opportunities. I mean, we're a little older now, but many moons ago, her dad was like, you know what, your education, just pick somewhere to go that you like, and, you know, I'll fund it, and we got to get you prepared for the, you know, for the workplace. Yeah, but do you realize how stupid that logic is?

Well, I mean, as far as just being trained on something.

Well, I mean, as far as just being trained on something.

Yeah, and that's the thing. When we got together, I kind of gave her the same thing. Like, I'll take care of the bills. You just apply yourself somewhere. I don't really care where. Just show me that even if it's something that doesn't make you money, but it's good for you. Like, show me something, some kind of application. that you're willing to put in the effort somewhere.

Yeah, and that's the thing. When we got together, I kind of gave her the same thing. Like, I'll take care of the bills. You just apply yourself somewhere. I don't really care where. Just show me that even if it's something that doesn't make you money, but it's good for you. Like, show me something, some kind of application. that you're willing to put in the effort somewhere.

And it's always just, I'm in first gear. I'll get there when I get there. You worry about it. And I just, it's, I've had it. I don't know. I don't know.

And it's always just, I'm in first gear. I'll get there when I get there. You worry about it. And I just, it's, I've had it. I don't know. I don't know.

I mean, and the next thing you know, she's over there watching The Real Housewives of Weber. And I'm like, I think you see yourself in that show and it's not your life. I mean, I don't play for the NBA. Yeah.

I mean, and the next thing you know, she's over there watching The Real Housewives of Weber. And I'm like, I think you see yourself in that show and it's not your life. I mean, I don't play for the NBA. Yeah.

And then to be fair, I mean, she does plenty around the house. And so she takes care of herself. She's not a slob by any means. She spends a lot of time in front of the mirror. But I could catch her on a Tuesday afternoon and I'm like, are you going to do something today? She said, it's my day off. And I'm like, you make X amount. You shouldn't have a day off. Where is this day off coming from?

And then to be fair, I mean, she does plenty around the house. And so she takes care of herself. She's not a slob by any means. She spends a lot of time in front of the mirror. But I could catch her on a Tuesday afternoon and I'm like, are you going to do something today? She said, it's my day off. And I'm like, you make X amount. You shouldn't have a day off. Where is this day off coming from?

Focus on something, please. And she's just like, no, I can't. That's your job to worry about the finances. And I'm just like, you know.

Focus on something, please. And she's just like, no, I can't. That's your job to worry about the finances. And I'm just like, you know.

Ultimately, no. But as part of it, I think that's kind of the end result.

Ultimately, no. But as part of it, I think that's kind of the end result.

Yep. I think that's what it is. She knows that dad's going to be there for whatever, if the whole thing falls apart. I don't know. It's like, that's fine for you.

Yep. I think that's what it is. She knows that dad's going to be there for whatever, if the whole thing falls apart. I don't know. It's like, that's fine for you.

So my question here is, how can I get my wife to contribute financially and see the importance of working together as a team in that regard? Oh, man. You're close to the edge, aren't you?

Yeah, it's... It's been wild. I mean, we've been together for about six years now. And the first five years... she, she didn't work right. Um, mind you, she's fully capable, no limitations. She doesn't have any restrictions to be able to work. She's, she's capable and she, she's bright too. She's, um, you know, she's, she's pretty sharp.

Um, and around year two, I recognize that, you know, we got to work together financially. Part of our relationship is not just the commitment and the loyalty. I mean, finances is part of our livelihood. We got to work together. Um, So somewhere around year two, I told her, you got to start working on something, whether you want to start a new career or start a new education process, something.

And for the three or four years thereafter, it was just excuses as to why I couldn't, why I can't do it because of this, I can't do it because of that. And about six months ago, I roughly just kind of threw in the towel, just emotionally. I was like, you know what? I mean, I can't argue with this about you anymore. I can't. I try to be nice. I try to be rude. I try to, um, different ways.

Like, Hey, I'm going to change our, our phone plan to a more cheaper plan. And maybe you'll get the message that way. Just nothing, nothing really processed to through to her. And so now our relationship, um, I mean, we don't argue anymore, which is a good thing, but I think it's, yeah, you're out. Yeah.

No, we're doing okay. I mean, we're covering all of our bills.

Yeah. I mean, it's funny too. Cause when I was talking to her dad about a blessing for us to get married, he looked me right in the eyes and he says, you know, she needs a lot of support. Right. And I didn't, I mean, I understood what he meant to an extent, but I didn't know that he meant this. And,

For her, I think it's just always the expectation that somebody else is supposed to take care of my finances. And then, you know, it took me this many years to realize that she meant that. Like, you take care of it. And I just feel, I feel abandoned.

You know?

No, besides that, I mean, the place is clean. We're not struggling financially. I do well enough to take care of us. But the thing is, we're getting older. I mean, retirement's coming up. What are we going to do?

Yeah, I tried that, and she shuts down. She'll either start crying or she'll get frustrated and just be like, I can't have this conversation with you. Yeah, that's a move. That's a move. Yeah, that's a total move.

She's working now, but she's almost 40 years old, and she makes, if I had to guess, because she won't really let me into her finances, if I had to guess, she probably makes $10,000 a year. And I'm looking at her like, you can do better than this.

Yeah, and it's just, you know, these golden opportunities. I mean, we're a little older now, but many moons ago, her dad was like, you know what, your education, just pick somewhere to go that you like, and, you know, I'll fund it, and we got to get you prepared for the, you know, for the workplace. Yeah, but do you realize how stupid that logic is?

Well, I mean, as far as just being trained on something.

Yeah, and that's the thing. When we got together, I kind of gave her the same thing. Like, I'll take care of the bills. You just apply yourself somewhere. I don't really care where. Just show me that even if it's something that doesn't make you money, but it's good for you. Like, show me something, some kind of application. that you're willing to put in the effort somewhere.

And it's always just, I'm in first gear. I'll get there when I get there. You worry about it. And I just, it's, I've had it. I don't know. I don't know.

I mean, and the next thing you know, she's over there watching The Real Housewives of Weber. And I'm like, I think you see yourself in that show and it's not your life. I mean, I don't play for the NBA. Yeah.

And then to be fair, I mean, she does plenty around the house. And so she takes care of herself. She's not a slob by any means. She spends a lot of time in front of the mirror. But I could catch her on a Tuesday afternoon and I'm like, are you going to do something today? She said, it's my day off. And I'm like, you make X amount. You shouldn't have a day off. Where is this day off coming from?

Focus on something, please. And she's just like, no, I can't. That's your job to worry about the finances. And I'm just like, you know.

Ultimately, no. But as part of it, I think that's kind of the end result.

Yep. I think that's what it is. She knows that dad's going to be there for whatever, if the whole thing falls apart. I don't know. It's like, that's fine for you.