Dad Stumpf

What's up, everybody? Welcome back. It happened. A three-generational generation collision of ideas and beliefs. So a little while ago, I started having Michael join me for Friday Q&A, and I found it to be interesting. And the response from the audience is they found it to be interesting as well, because about 20 years separates us. And a few people reached out and said...

Hopefully you enjoy it. We'll do this again in the future if it's enjoyed by the audience. I enjoyed doing it, so you know what? We're going to do it again anyway. But before we get into it, real quick, you know the deal. Let's pay the bills. Today's episode is brought to you by AG1.

Okay.

No, a trust is one thing. Here's the reason I ask. It's one of your last chances to fuck with people. I had the most fucked up will when I was on the East coast. Yeah. Like I want to be cremated, but I need six people to carry me to the top of Everest without oxygen type shit because fuck it. You're already gone.

You know, take a hundred thousand dollars out of the $400,000 SGLI and you guys have to spend it at one bar in one sitting. No one's allowed to leave and like just fucked up shit.

Here's the thing. Don't give Casey anything until you put this list of just ridiculous shit. This is your chance to fuck with her while you're gone. Like, Casey, I know you want the cash, but first you have to do eight book reports on some obscure fucking topic. Or, you know, it's just your last chance. No, no, I hear you. Don't let it slip through your fingers.

No. I don't have a will.

For those of you on a fitness journey into 2025, now that we're into March, coming up to the end of Q1, I hope that you are still on that journey. I get it, the struggle is real. It's pretty easy to get off of those things, especially when real life gets in your way. Efficiency is what I am going for.

Oh, would that be the first time you've ever done that?

I think it will help. I think it will. That's what I'm hoping. It's not magic.

Hunting season is right around the corner.

Another chance for you to say you're going to come and then change your mind.

You got like full relaxation mode right now? Do we need to get a recliner in here for you for these episodes? Yeah, I'd like one. A little drink stand, you know? Yeah, it's just like... Hold on, guys.

Can you guys hear me? I just sit back here like this.

Let's just say other people care about the pose.

Yeah, well, you don't wear underwear, so be careful with the pose.

I guess I'll attach the Playgirl... I'll attach the Playgirl centiphone to this portion of the episode. Just make sure that it's noted that it was a cold day. Yeah. I tell you what, the shower scenes after that were powerfully gay. All rugby teams are gay. Oh, no, no, but I mean that particular photo shoot.

It was weird to see you guys all out there in your cleats, but then they went deep into the shower scene, and it was just a lot of dudes.

Ever since my stomach surgery, I've been looking at things and trying to pare away stuff that doesn't help, that isn't efficient. AG1 for me. sits in the wheelhouse of things that I can do one time that satisfies really a lot that I'm looking for. So I'm going to read this real quick.

I'm sitting there looking at that thinking... That's gay. Yeah, I'm glad I missed that one. And there's nothing wrong with being gay, but I thought Playgirl was... Actually, I guess Playgirl would be a magazine that could target both audiences. Yeah? Oh, for sure. Yeah, for sure. All right, so if we make it to three questions, we've got three questions. This one...

Dear Andy, I'm not sure how to start this question, so I'll just say that my wife calls me an alcoholic. Ever since I got out of the military, I've had a hard time sleeping at night. The VA has sent me more sleeping pills than Heinz has ketchup. So every night I have two or three glasses of whiskey and I sleep like a baby. I get up every day and I go to work and I don't.

I get work and I don't grave it during the day. Oh, I don't crave it during the day. Spell that with a G. I don't even drink during the day, except for when I'm on the golf course. You would know about that. What do you think about this? I would love to know. Keep doing what you're doing. Michael, the younger generation, what's your guys' demographic think about drinking?

You're of legal drinking age. Do you ever go out and get after it?

I don't think the generation's changed that much. I think if you get around drinking age, you go pretty hard usually.

I'll get my Santa outfit on and we'll get you a, you know, the last time old Santa got it on was out at the lake house and he stood up and fell over onto the concrete and

Yeah. Yeah. That was hot.

Yeah. And especially if you're underage, there's that enticement. I'm doing something I'm not supposed to be doing.

What are your thoughts on the tail end of life?

Vitamins, minerals, prebiotics, probiotics, greens and superfoods, antioxidants, stress adaptogens, digestive enzymes. There's a whole lot. I didn't fill one up today because I actually had one earlier today, but we'll get and we'll get to this cup here in a second or vessel, if you will. This is an easy one.

What do you think about somebody who doesn't feel like there's an... alcohol issue, but somebody they care about is telling them that there is one. I think that's the crux of this question.

That's what you're signing up for, Michael, by the way, for Night on the Town. Perfect.

I don't think he can. 50 years is a long time to live with something that I understand a lot of people think that, hey, just put the bottle down. There's physiological and psychological complications of that over enough time. But did he ever try to go to treatment or?

I don't know if this is true or not. This would probably be more about your parents than your generation. Yeah. Movies in the 50s and black and whites where it was cocktail hour. It was just part of the social scene. You'd come home, there'd be a cocktail waiting for you. It just seemed like it was a more casual relationship with alcohol. Today's episode is brought to you by Timeline.

Usually I take this in the morning because I'm working on my hydration as soon as I wake up. So it allows me to kill multiple birds with one stone. and fits, like I said, directly into the wheelhouse of efficiency. People ask me what it tastes like. Hard to say. I'm going to describe it as earthy, and not in a bad way.

For the listeners out there. Is any of this true for you? Are you trying to feel stronger in the workouts that you do? Are you trying to recover faster from the workouts that you enjoy participating in? Do you want to feel like you have more energy? And actually, that's not the right way to say it. Do you want to feel like you have more energy? Do you want to have more energy?

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That would have been your parents' generation.

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I do remember how pissed mom was when I came home from Bud's with my friends and you had...

That's a rough one.

Here's some stuff that comes in that. A bottle of D3K2, which is this here. Easy to travel with. And a lot of this I'll talk about traveling. Five free travel packs in the first box. Now this box, the one I have on me is 30, but check this out.

Oh, I knew why. Yeah, and that's the problem. Well, it's not the problem. Your choice was not to deal with the why. Yeah, exactly. So I would say to this person, maybe ask your wife to be a little bit more specific about why she says that.

He is framing this through, I sleep like a baby. I would actually go more scientific with this and allow this person to explore why. with tools that are really accessible, like this watch. The reason I got this is it measures my sleep. If the guy's married, he can get a ring that does them now. They're called Aura rings. What else is out there? You know what I'm talking about, health measures.

The little band you can put. That's more for a heart rate monitor for when you're exercising, stuff like that. If you get something that manages, it doesn't manage your sleep, but it'll tell you how the quality of your sleep is, Do an experiment. Go for a week and have your two to three glasses of whiskey a night and go to bed. And then do a week without that.

And the first few days are not going to be reflective of what your sleep is going to be because you're going to struggle. But what you're going to find is that the metrics are undeniable. Yes, you are asleep when you've had the two or three drinks, but you're not sleeping.

Well, again, it's... But it allows you though, if this guy is saying, hey, I sleep fine and I get up and I can do my job. Well, maybe you're functioning at a fraction of your potential. So you can actually look at it scientifically and then realize, okay, I'm lying to myself.

Instead of carrying around that big pouch with the scoop and the cool container that it comes with, or you could put it all into that, throw this in your backpack. You're ready to travel. It's going to come with this as well too, the vessel that I drink it out of, shake it up. It's already got the measurements in milliliters or ounces, depending on how you fly there.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. We're going to totally change gears. Are you into any conspiracies? I don't know if I've ever asked you about this. I can't tell you. That's actually not how a conspiracy theorist works.

Are you into it? Do you wrap your head around Bigfoot or aliens or anything like that?

Michael, you're going to enjoy this question. Oh, boy. Here we go. It's not that crazy. Andy, long-time listener. I recently discovered that one of my coworkers is a flat earther and a denier of gravity. His theory, as idiotic as it sounds, is that the earth is shaped like a donut and gravity is fake.

And all of this stemming from total distrust of anybody that would speak from a point of authority or understanding. This is actually the crux of this question. So I'll say this. I can sport a tinfoil hat as well as the next guy, but why do some people feel the need to turn absolutely everything into a conspiracy? God, I wish I had an answer for that.

Their theory is that's just a light up there, though. So they would just be covering up a portion of that light.

Was he a flat earther?

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Yeah, yeah. Let me ask you this. Do you think he legitimately believed that the earth was flat or did he just enjoy the conversations around it?

Yeah. What did he believe, if you can remember, that the purpose of the chemtrails was? Was it like mind control from the CIA? They were sprinkling?

It just, you know, just... Let me ask you this. Do you think that we... I do believe we went to the moon. Do you think, though, that we did everything that we claimed that we did? That seems to be the most prevalent argument now. Such as? Well, it was a race between us and Russia, right?

So economically, we were competing in physically getting there, but also we were kind of economically breaking them. So... One of the theories is, yes, we did go to the moon, but we also ad-libbed a little bit or said we were doing more in the process of that.

That wouldn't surprise me either.

You know, it's a gosh, who knows what interests me about this question? Actually, Michael, your generation conspiracy theories. Is there any that are super sticky?

Bring your dad in too, because then there's another 30 years on top of that, spanning damn near a century. My dad is 167 years old. So he's seen some things. He experienced life before light, really, you know, learning to read and write the English language with a piece of coal, writing on a chalkboard by candlelight, horse-drawn wagon, things like that. I'm not sure if any of that's true.

Okay, west of the smoke.

I mean, how about the magic bullet theory where it's taken left to right turns?

The ballistics of it are just impossible.

How do you think the world would be different had he taken an armored limo with a roof that day? Do you think they would have come after him afterwards? I don't know. Let's say he had survived and finished his term. What do you think that would look like differently?

I don't know if he was going to have time for all that policy, to be honest.

okay let me turn that off that's good i got some questions for us you're gonna talk into the mic or stay a foot away from it again what uh so what is this connor told me today that you feel like you can no longer reach out for help because i have shamed you so much let's open with that what's that oh that's just now we're gonna play like we can't hear oh no i can hear perfectly sounds familiar

Well, it goes into the total distrust of anybody that'd speak from a point of authority and understanding. I think that's a place that we're finding ourselves in now. Yeah. People, if it's a news organization that you align with or tells you what you want to hear, it seems as if there's devout belief.

If it's on the other side and they're saying things that you don't agree with, charlatan, chill, whatever it is. And so people are, I don't know, do you see this at all in your generation, Michael, where Figures of authority. People are essentially just either unable or unwilling to determine who is lying to them, so they don't want to hear anything that experts have to say, often.

What is that? Technically, it's the Department of Government Efficiency. I don't know by what medium that they are using to analyze, assess, and then cut budgets in employees. And that's a super broad description that may be imprecise. I believe Elon Musk has been tasked with the head of it. I only know one other person who he's working with. His name is Big Balls because he was doxxed.

You didn't hear this? What? No. No, I heard something about that. Type in Big, B-A-double-L-Z, Doge. It's like some 19-year-old kid.

Well, almost the majority of them. They did not fire almost the majority. They fired, my understanding, is people who had not completed their two-year probational status, which was the vast majority of them, but not everybody, because that's where they were starting. The reason for that is, is it's much harder to get rid of a federal employee once they get past their probationary time period.

So they started with those that hadn't been through the probationary period. And I'm not arguing for them to be fired.

Well, and that's what speaks to how I feel about it. At a baseline level, I have no issue with very aggressive— and auditing our government. It should fucking happen. There's this video of Jon Stewart talking from a woman, I think it's from the Pentagon, somebody, the DOD. The DOD is not passing audits.

And this woman is sitting there arguing with Jon Stewart, essentially saying like, no, no, no, it's not that we didn't pass an audit, we just don't know where the money is. He's like, yeah, that's... Same thing, isn't it? And she's like, no, no, but it's fine. And eventually, it was a very short clip, so I'm sure they had a much larger conversation, so I'm just taking a snippet of that.

My concern is, one, is it scaring the shit out of people, which is okay. I don't have a problem with that. I actually don't have a problem with the status quo being shooken up and being scared. It's time. But we need to have a country that functions at the end of this as well, too.

And I think that the transparency in communicating what's going on, it's one of the biggest things I heard about COVID and the complaints of how COVID was handled, is that... The guidance was shifting back and forth. We're going in this direction. Now we're going in this direction. Instead of just being honest and saying, this is where we're at. This is what we're doing.

This is the best information we have at the time. I think if they, and maybe they can't because of the pace that they're moving or because of the sensitivity, maybe they can't be as transparent and honest. But I think two things need to be true at once. I think that we need that aggressive investigation into our own government, but the transparency needs to be there as well too.

Well, I think people not trusting those in positions of authority is because they're fucking tired of being lied to by people in positions of authority.

Well, how do we get your generation, not that I have an immense amount of trust in our government, but Michael, how the fuck do we get your generation bought back in or in any semblance of trust and faith?

So you're going to clarify this. Well, I wouldn't say I love it, but I expect it. How many hours did you spend on the phone with Hulu customer support yesterday? Oh, boy.

So walk me through, as a thought exercise, what would need to happen for that to be true for you? What would you want to see? Where your tax dollars are going? How certain decisions are made?

Can you think of a member of the government that you feel represents your generation well?

Legitimately, how many hours do you think it was? Oh, gosh. Probably four hours. How many different people did you talk to? Two. Okay. Did they seem pumped?

I've heard they spend about 60% of their time actually doing it.

Yeah, shockingly enough, the support ended at that point.

What browser do you use to surf the internet? What's a browser? Jesus Christ. When you log onto your computer on the bottom, what's the icon look like?

Yeah, okay.

So a browser is the portal that you use to access the information. Yeah, Safari. Okay.

I think we should be real careful calling people Nazis.

When you say this stuff, let's talk about... This catastrophe.

You should do a little research into how that happens every electoral cycle.

Do you remember why I ask? I can't say I do. Remember the last time Connor got a look at your phone and you had 500 browser tabs open?

I'm not joking.

Connor, coffee shop manager, was helping tech support, went on his iPhone and hit Safari. And there were 500 tabs open. Meaning since you've gotten your phone, I don't think you've closed one. Which is impressive, actually. How do you close them? Exactly. Are you pumped to get the new iPhone? Yeah.

Oh, my God. No, the issue was you couldn't log into your Hulu account. Yeah. So I come over to his house after he has spent, I'm going to say probably six.

Leah and I would like to put an app on your and Debbie's phone called Life 360, which you'll share a circle with us. What does that provide for me? For you, nothing. What I'm doing every day?

It'll let us know where you are. Oh, that's probably good. So when you guys have senior moments and you drive off and get lost, we can come find you.

How did you get Instagram?

Jesus.

I understand. People don't believe me that I weighed 150 pounds getting out of high school. Oh, shit. I think you barely weighed that.

I gained weight in buds, which is actually a feat in and of itself. Because fucking hell, the caloric requirement of that course is relatively high.

I'm not shaming you.

Yeah. I just wish that I had been in a better headspace or a different headspace, which wasn't.

I am going to paint an accurate portrait for the listener. You, your wife aired you out six hours on customer support from Hulu. Why? Because he couldn't log in. Mind you, he doesn't even have his own goddamn account. He's sharing mine. So it was a password issue. Did he call and ask? No, he didn't. He went to Hulu customer support. I go over to their house. The TV is like off the wall.

I do not support the vast majority of the things they believe in. But if they don't change their approach and their messaging, they're going to keep getting their dick kicked in at every election until they fucking change.

They're focusing on things that the vast majority of people don't give a fuck about and they make it their primary issue. I mean, Michael, not to put you on the spot, but if you had to register for like, what is there a political party in the U S that represents you?

But I said when the election happened... Did you see last night, though? I didn't watch it. I didn't watch it either, but I watched just because I was busy. There's Democrats in there like holding up paddles and stuff. Oh, Jesus child is shit. But these are our elected representatives that are supposed to be running our country.

You guys need to change the way you do business or you're going to keep getting waffle stomped every time.

You can try to understand an idea without acceptance.

He's telling me about the serial number he was able to find on the Apple TV.

It accomplishes nothing.

Speaking of buying stuff, how's that truck treating you, Michael?

The old taco.

For clarity, for the listener, it's my oldest son that is swindling Michael and is trying to get my dad's wife to purchase a vehicle that she doesn't need. Actually, if he has your phone number, he's probably called you to try to get you to come in. He is starting a new career. He literally brought the truck to the coffee shop while Michael was working to facilitate a test drive.

Yeah. And honestly, as far as dealerships in town, that one's going to take care of you the best.

I'll buy you a port-a-potty. Yeah, that's about where it'll get me.

And it wasn't a VA loan. In Santa Cruz? Yeah. Do you remember what your interest rate was?

Yeah, that's not bad. It's expensive to borrow money right now.

Yeah, I mean, there's a few reasons to why not, but whatever, live your life.

Trust me, I know. So your Verizon appointment is tomorrow?

Michael, do you work tomorrow? No. We've determined that my dad needs a chaperone of a younger generation.

Okay, we're going to practice for tomorrow. What specifically are you going to tell these people?

When you say this, what's the this going to be?

And you need to make sure they take your current number and roll it over.

Trust me, I know.

What if they try to pitch you on... TV service at the house. Shut that shit down. No?

I don't want that. Spectrum's great. Extended warranty on your phone?

Good. What else? We're doing a mock trial here. Mike, what else could they potentially throw at him? Internet.

It's just a cell phone, not World War III.

Yeah.

So that's not going to work because they're going to need a card. He's not going to take your $100. Oh, I got a half a dozen cards. Okay. That's probably not a good thing, actually. I want to use one.

What's your five-year goal, Michael?

No.

Yeah. I mean, this is a cool place, but I can empathize. It has its limitations. Well, we're also in different phases of our life. Yeah. You know? All three of the kids want to leave. Riley, Tyler, and Julie, they all want to go.

I feel like, though, at some point they will come back. That's exactly what I feel.

I could tell because I have her on Life 360. Yeah. But we're going to add you guys.

There's ways around technology. You also don't carry your phone with you many times as well. So it actually would be useless to have on you most of the time.

Yeah, let me see. Unlock it for a second. I'm just going to go into your settings and Do you even have a password on your phone?

No, your iPhone's name is iPhone 3. This is an iPhone 6S.

Those are called subtle signs.

All right. Well, that's enough for today.

Global entry? Yeah, that's it. Do you travel internationally often? No, but I'm supposed to start. The only international trip I'm aware of is 2027 for you in Australia.

When?

So 2026? Yeah. You can probably hold off on the global entry. Okay. I mean, 48% chance you're not going to be around.

I am watching the fucking decline. of a TV off the wall.

I feel like that's how old he is though. So what do we call it becomes the question of the day.

Give us your email address and password. I'm like, absolutely not. Am I giving you my fucking email address and password?

You're going to do that at her house. I'm not going back to California. You'll be like a walking vegetable at that point. You wouldn't know if you were in California or Montana. So I'm going to end up being a grapefruit or something?

You're going to end up getting put where we put you.

I'm not sharing any of your accounts. So he's on tech support for six hours. The only thing he needed was my password for Hulu. So he's back there getting serial numbers behind his TV, exploring new technology that he didn't even know existed.

The best suggestion that I got from the audience, given the technology that my father was using when he was a younger man, we had full auto Friday for when it's just myself, even though I've talked many times about only actors and assholes use fully automatic, unless it's an automatic weapon, but a different purpose. It's an area weapon, not a point weapon.

It has a really broad usage.

Shamed?

So you would rather spend six hours with Darpinder on the phone?

I'm plugging in my password on Hulu and Debbie's just staring at me. What's your password? And I just looked at her and I'm like, no. No.

He had a legal, an eight and a half by 11 yellow legal notebook talking to me about the things that he had learned. He needed the IP address, the username. All he fucking needed was the Hulu password.

I was going to say, I don't know what type of tech support Hulu has, but it sounds like dog shit.

Six hours. I was at your house for five minutes and I fixed it. Shame. I'm being shamed again. I don't know.

I'm not shaming you.

Why would you invest that much of your time? I have a lot of time to invest. Is that how you want to spend it? Some days. All right. Can't argue that.

Meanwhile, daddy's like, I've been hiding in the back room all day. He's been using colorful language.

Michael was negligent discharge Friday for reasons that anybody listening could probably tell you. And then for my dad, if we're going to bring him in, it's going to be Flintlock Friday, the peak of technology. At the time, my dad was Michael's age. So that's what we're going to have, three generations. I meant to cover more questions, but damn, the conversation floated a little bit.

I'm two decades ahead of him. You're two decades ahead of me. And some of the feedback I got from people was bring in. The old man.

However, now we have another naming problem. Ooh. Yeah. A lot of people have suggested Flintlock Friday, given your age. Oh, that's, I like that one. Yeah. And honestly, your grasp of technology fits well with that. Oh, no, it's... You know the bullshit he tried to pull on me yesterday? He goes, you've had more time to do stuff like this than me.

I said, we've had exactly the same amount of time exposed to the internet. That is true, actually. Yeah, it really is true.

Nice. It's more like a shillelagh, but yeah. Yeah.

How does it feel to be at an age where a lot of your friends that you grew up with, like the most vital years or vitality-wise years in your life are passing? Yeah. I mean, even in me growing up, a lot of your friends that I knew in growing up have passed.