Dan Harris

like the shattering of your sense of security in this world, because I had good parents.

And so the fact that they are so diminished is, you know, it's paradigm shifting, tectonic plate shifting in a way that leaves me feeling unmoored often.

try to find the sweetness in it wasn't like, it's going to be awesome, dude.

It was like, what in there is sweet that you can focus on?

And the fact that I feel so much grief about watching my parents fade and knowing where this is headed, like what's under that is that I love my parents.

Also for me, just, and again, this might be a little gendered,

I don't think men, certainly not men in my generation and older are really raised with a big emphasis on caregiving.

So just seeing that that is a capacity that I have and developing it and seeing that it feels good, even with all of the stuff, you know, just being in the hospital with my dad, if he has to go and seeing them do procedures on him and holding his hand and you know, like it can be pretty gnarly.

But you are tapping into this fundamental design feature in the human operating system, which is that when you do good, it feels good, you know?

So it's back to what I was saying the other day about the news.

It's like two things can be true at the same time.

It can be unremitting horror show to be around someone with dementia.

And also it's like there is sweetness in it, not only in seeing your own capacity to rise to the occasion, but also in tuning into why you feel sad in the first place is because you love this person.

Good luck with your continuing work.

It's not easy.

The other thing I've learned about dementia is don't argue with them.

When I was volunteering in a hospice, people would ask me for 20 bucks for a cab and I'd be like, yeah, here you go, dude.

You just don't argue with them.

Let them have their reality.

Who else has a question?