Dan Savage

And because men are testosterone-soaked dick monsters, it is dangerous often for a woman to sleep with a man on a hunch. But you there, at the play party, at the swingers event, at the hotel takeover, and I do think women in your position, couples in your position, might want to go to some organized swing events together

Your presence could help your husband get more pussy, which would then make your husband feel a little bit more comfortable and less cheated or cheated on by you getting all the dick you want to get at this stage of your life. So look, I know women do more of the domestic labor, more of the childcare, more of everything. And adding this to your plate seems cosmically unfair.

Your presence could help your husband get more pussy, which would then make your husband feel a little bit more comfortable and less cheated or cheated on by you getting all the dick you want to get at this stage of your life. So look, I know women do more of the domestic labor, more of the childcare, more of everything. And adding this to your plate seems cosmically unfair.

insult added to that injury hopefully your division of domestic responsibilities has been more egalitarian and fair and maybe you could wrap your head around doing this again I want to say for your husband but I also want to say for you because if he was a little more successful he would be a little less resentful of your success and that's petty and he should be able to let go of that

insult added to that injury hopefully your division of domestic responsibilities has been more egalitarian and fair and maybe you could wrap your head around doing this again I want to say for your husband but I also want to say for you because if he was a little more successful he would be a little less resentful of your success and that's petty and he should be able to let go of that

But it's hard. It's hard for people. There's something, after 20 years together, there's something sibling-y about even a marital relationship. And that sibling dynamic kicks in where mom gave you more ice cream than I got. And that shit is ugly and stupid, but it's there. And how do you diffuse it? You diffuse this little bit of marital sibling rivalry by being your husband's wingman.

But it's hard. It's hard for people. There's something, after 20 years together, there's something sibling-y about even a marital relationship. And that sibling dynamic kicks in where mom gave you more ice cream than I got. And that shit is ugly and stupid, but it's there. And how do you diffuse it? You diffuse this little bit of marital sibling rivalry by being your husband's wingman.

Not for him, for you.

Not for him, for you.

You could go Tim Waltz on their asses and just tell them to mind their own damn business and they don't need to know what's behind the secret door, but that might pique their interest. Look, you're adults. You can say to people, we have a sex room. You don't have to tell people what kind of sex you're having in that sex room.

You could go Tim Waltz on their asses and just tell them to mind their own damn business and they don't need to know what's behind the secret door, but that might pique their interest. Look, you're adults. You can say to people, we have a sex room. You don't have to tell people what kind of sex you're having in that sex room.

My God, there was a whole Netflix series with people building sex rooms with the help of an interior decorator and a contractor in their houses. I don't think it's that taboo or insane anymore. Especially for a gay couple to say, yeah, that's our fuck room. We have sex in there and it's private. And yeah, so that door stays locked. And then dot, dot, dot. They don't need the details.

My God, there was a whole Netflix series with people building sex rooms with the help of an interior decorator and a contractor in their houses. I don't think it's that taboo or insane anymore. Especially for a gay couple to say, yeah, that's our fuck room. We have sex in there and it's private. And yeah, so that door stays locked. And then dot, dot, dot. They don't need the details.

They don't need to know that you change each other's diapers in there. I got a question a couple of years ago from a couple of guys in Illinois, my home state, who have a giant dungeon in their house, but they also both have their parents living nearby. And their parents are really curious about why they can never go in the basement. And then they finally took my advice.

They don't need to know that you change each other's diapers in there. I got a question a couple of years ago from a couple of guys in Illinois, my home state, who have a giant dungeon in their house, but they also both have their parents living nearby. And their parents are really curious about why they can never go in the basement. And then they finally took my advice.

Actually, I responded to a letter from them in my column and just told their parents, it's our fuck room. And their parents lost all interest in seeing the basement. And the mystery was solved. Sometimes just knowing why you can't go in the room is enough. And it won't come as a shock to the people in your life to know that you too are fucking. They don't need to know what you're wearing.

Actually, I responded to a letter from them in my column and just told their parents, it's our fuck room. And their parents lost all interest in seeing the basement. And the mystery was solved. Sometimes just knowing why you can't go in the room is enough. And it won't come as a shock to the people in your life to know that you too are fucking. They don't need to know what you're wearing.

They don't need to know about the binkies or the rubber pants. But that you're fucking and that you have a room dedicated to the fucking is enough. Often enough. And that doesn't work if you guys can't bring yourself to say even that. You could get a sliding bookshelf. You could disguise the door.

They don't need to know about the binkies or the rubber pants. But that you're fucking and that you have a room dedicated to the fucking is enough. Often enough. And that doesn't work if you guys can't bring yourself to say even that. You could get a sliding bookshelf. You could disguise the door.

You could put a giant mirror on a track in front of it and make it look like a hall mirror that when you guys want to get into that room together, you just push it aside. People typically don't run through people's houses seeing if there are secret doors, moving bookshelves, sliding mirrors, and your secret and your playroom will be safe.