Dan Savage

And joining me on the Magnum today, Don Martin, author, podcaster, TikToker, poet. Interesting thing about Don, in addition to all the books he's written and all the work he does, he's a gay man in a long-term relationship. He's a married gay man, and he and his husband are... Are you sitting down? They are monogamous.

Don is here to take me to task for saying on my show again and again and again that there's no such thing as a long-term monogamous gay couple. He and his husband, a long-term monogamous gay couple. And Don is here to slap me down. All that coming up on today's show. On to your first question. This episode of the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Dipsy.

Don is here to take me to task for saying on my show again and again and again that there's no such thing as a long-term monogamous gay couple. He and his husband, a long-term monogamous gay couple. And Don is here to slap me down. All that coming up on today's show. On to your first question. This episode of the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Dipsy.

Dipsy is an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30-day free trial when you go to dipsystories.com slash savage. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace, therapy made easy. Get $80 off your first month when you go to talkspace.com slash savage and enter promo code space80.

Dipsy is an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30-day free trial when you go to dipsystories.com slash savage. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace, therapy made easy. Get $80 off your first month when you go to talkspace.com slash savage and enter promo code space80.

This episode of the Lovecast is brought to you by the good folks at Squarespace. They make it easy to build a beautiful website, blog or online store. Head on over to squarespace.com slash savage for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code savage to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

This episode of the Lovecast is brought to you by the good folks at Squarespace. They make it easy to build a beautiful website, blog or online store. Head on over to squarespace.com slash savage for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code savage to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Oh my God, what an excruciating position you find yourself in. Either you betray your brother, who routinely betrays his girlfriend of seven years, or you smile at this woman, welcome her into the family, and then when this all comes out, she's going to feel betrayed by you and the rest of your family who knew that this truck was barreling at her and you didn't Warn her.

Oh my God, what an excruciating position you find yourself in. Either you betray your brother, who routinely betrays his girlfriend of seven years, or you smile at this woman, welcome her into the family, and then when this all comes out, she's going to feel betrayed by you and the rest of your family who knew that this truck was barreling at her and you didn't Warn her.

You didn't give her a heads up. Oh, my God. I don't... I'm having to really think right now really hard about what it is that you should... do you can implore your brother to be honest with himself and his girlfriend and admit that monogamy isn't something he can do that monogamy isn't something he wants but if your brother justifies this shit with uh just a night out with the lads therefore pussy

You didn't give her a heads up. Oh, my God. I don't... I'm having to really think right now really hard about what it is that you should... do you can implore your brother to be honest with himself and his girlfriend and admit that monogamy isn't something he can do that monogamy isn't something he wants but if your brother justifies this shit with uh just a night out with the lads therefore pussy

In that context, Strange Pussy doesn't count against me morally or ethically. He's probably the kind of self-centered, serial adulterer, straight piece of shit dude who wants a monogamous relationship, wants his partner to be monogamous to him, couldn't stand the idea of his girlfriend or wife getting with another guy, but wants to give himself...

In that context, Strange Pussy doesn't count against me morally or ethically. He's probably the kind of self-centered, serial adulterer, straight piece of shit dude who wants a monogamous relationship, wants his partner to be monogamous to him, couldn't stand the idea of his girlfriend or wife getting with another guy, but wants to give himself...

permission to go get with other women and then rationalize it with the after the fact bullshit like I was drunk or it was a night out with the lads or somehow this pussy doesn't count, but any dick that wasn't his dick under any circumstances would certainly in his mind count. So what do you do? You have to risk here. estrangement from your family.

permission to go get with other women and then rationalize it with the after the fact bullshit like I was drunk or it was a night out with the lads or somehow this pussy doesn't count, but any dick that wasn't his dick under any circumstances would certainly in his mind count. So what do you do? You have to risk here. estrangement from your family.

If you're going to do the right thing by this woman that you have known for however long it was after they began dating that your brother introduced you to his girlfriend. So you've known her for six years, seven years, however long you've known her. Oh my God. This is one of those questions where all I can think is what would I do?

If you're going to do the right thing by this woman that you have known for however long it was after they began dating that your brother introduced you to his girlfriend. So you've known her for six years, seven years, however long you've known her. Oh my God. This is one of those questions where all I can think is what would I do?

I would say to my brother in a circumstance like this, you tell her or I tell her, but she is going to be told before the wedding what she is signing up for. I am not going to stand by silently and be complicit in your betrayal of her and mask or cover for it. Like when family shows up to a wedding and smiles and is a part of the wedding party, there's a little bit of vouching going on there.

I would say to my brother in a circumstance like this, you tell her or I tell her, but she is going to be told before the wedding what she is signing up for. I am not going to stand by silently and be complicit in your betrayal of her and mask or cover for it. Like when family shows up to a wedding and smiles and is a part of the wedding party, there's a little bit of vouching going on there.

You're standing up at the wedding for the person From your side who invited you to that wedding. If you're up there on the altar, if you're part of the wedding party, you are endorsing not just the relationship, but the person who is entering into this relationship.