Danette

But actually living here has shown me a side of things I wasn't prepared for.

He is extremely enmeshed with his family.

He spends at least an hour with them every single day, and they call each other constantly.

And his mom still makes his lunches for work.

When I gently suggest that maybe he could start doing things like that himself or creating a bit more space, he gets incredibly defensive and makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong just for bringing it up.

I'm not trying to separate him from his family.

I don't want to do that at all.

I just want some boundaries.

I want to feel like we are our own unit.

While they don't just walk into our house, they are very overbearing in other ways, always needing to know everyone's business, always involved, always present.

And I feel like no matter what, I will always come second to his family dynamic.

What hurts the most is realizing that what I thought was temporary has turned into a permanent decision that I don't get a say in.

I love him, but I'm terrified that if I stay, I'll slowly lose myself trying to fit into a life that was already built without me even in mind.

Ideal outcome, get advice on the situation from a guy's point of view.

Is this a deal breaker?

I think couples counseling could be good, but they also, they're still only dating.

They've been dating for three years.

So not officially married yet.

Who your in-laws are gonna be.

How much they bought in.