Daniel Oppenheimer

An explosion of anger, screaming, hitting the floor, smashing against the universe. There was this sense that there was this massive rage inside of me, I say, that would just come out in these sort of violent ways. And I guess that I was scary to other people. Real keeps me in that space, eyes closed, talking to my inner child for about 30 minutes.

An explosion of anger, screaming, hitting the floor, smashing against the universe. There was this sense that there was this massive rage inside of me, I say, that would just come out in these sort of violent ways. And I guess that I was scary to other people. Real keeps me in that space, eyes closed, talking to my inner child for about 30 minutes.

We ask him what he was mad about, what he was trying to feel or say that could only express itself through inchoate rage. I get angry on his behalf that he didn't feel safe enough to be all of himself. I take him in my arms and embrace him. I promise to hear him and protect him from now on. It's not as hard as I feared it would be to inhabit this role, even though it has its corny aspects.

We ask him what he was mad about, what he was trying to feel or say that could only express itself through inchoate rage. I get angry on his behalf that he didn't feel safe enough to be all of himself. I take him in my arms and embrace him. I promise to hear him and protect him from now on. It's not as hard as I feared it would be to inhabit this role, even though it has its corny aspects.

I don't break, though, or break through. The energy remains trapped by my skin. The box of tissues next to me, which Real asked Jess to get before we started the exercise, remains unused. I'm not surprised, but I am disappointed. Jess looks enigmatic on the recording. I can't read her. At the end, I put my inner child back inside myself and open my eyes. Real tells me I did a good job.

I don't break, though, or break through. The energy remains trapped by my skin. The box of tissues next to me, which Real asked Jess to get before we started the exercise, remains unused. I'm not surprised, but I am disappointed. Jess looks enigmatic on the recording. I can't read her. At the end, I put my inner child back inside myself and open my eyes. Real tells me I did a good job.

Joy, pain, anger, fear, shame, guilt, love. What are you feeling right now? He asks. I guess I feel loved, I say. So what you're feeling right now, he says, is the cure for love addiction, Dan. I remember believing him. I still do. Instead of looking to Jess to top me off with love, I need to take on that responsibility myself.

Joy, pain, anger, fear, shame, guilt, love. What are you feeling right now? He asks. I guess I feel loved, I say. So what you're feeling right now, he says, is the cure for love addiction, Dan. I remember believing him. I still do. Instead of looking to Jess to top me off with love, I need to take on that responsibility myself.

I have to be my own keeper so that I can be whole for the people I love the most. What worries me, watching this now, is simply that I don't know if I'll be able to do it. It's an odd endeavor, trying to evolve into a version of yourself that you can only perceive from your present self somewhat dimly. Am I waiting for the tears to come in a crystalline moment of cathartic release?

I have to be my own keeper so that I can be whole for the people I love the most. What worries me, watching this now, is simply that I don't know if I'll be able to do it. It's an odd endeavor, trying to evolve into a version of yourself that you can only perceive from your present self somewhat dimly. Am I waiting for the tears to come in a crystalline moment of cathartic release?

Is it enough to follow the program day by day, time out by time out, evolving by increments? I'm not yet whole, and the way forward isn't entirely clear. But something has shifted in our marriage. There has been an expansion in the space for connection. We're talking more. We're tolerating more. We're better at repair. My protection is no longer a coat of armor, hard shell and opaque.

Is it enough to follow the program day by day, time out by time out, evolving by increments? I'm not yet whole, and the way forward isn't entirely clear. But something has shifted in our marriage. There has been an expansion in the space for connection. We're talking more. We're tolerating more. We're better at repair. My protection is no longer a coat of armor, hard shell and opaque.

It's more of a translucent force field. It surrounds me, filtering the light, protecting and denying me, but also, in the right conditions, letting some rays pass through. The rest is waiting for me, whatever it is, on the other side. Waiting for Jess, too. More often than not these days, I can feel her hand reaching through into mine.

It's more of a translucent force field. It surrounds me, filtering the light, protecting and denying me, but also, in the right conditions, letting some rays pass through. The rest is waiting for me, whatever it is, on the other side. Waiting for Jess, too. More often than not these days, I can feel her hand reaching through into mine.