Daniel Pink

The best the best example of the difference between disappointment and regret comes from Janet Landman at the University of Michigan, who has this brilliant, I think brilliant example where she says, imagine a scenario where a three year old girl loses her tooth and she goes to sleep and she puts the tooth under her pillow.

you know, hoping the tooth fairy, you know, waiting for the tooth fairy to give her a buck. And she wakes up in the morning, lifts up her pillow and the tooth is still there. She's disappointed, but her parents regret not replacing the tooth with a dollar. And so regret depends on our control over things. I mean, just like I'm a basketball fan. I live in Washington, D.C.

you know, hoping the tooth fairy, you know, waiting for the tooth fairy to give her a buck. And she wakes up in the morning, lifts up her pillow and the tooth is still there. She's disappointed, but her parents regret not replacing the tooth with a dollar. And so regret depends on our control over things. I mean, just like I'm a basketball fan. I live in Washington, D.C.

you know, hoping the tooth fairy, you know, waiting for the tooth fairy to give her a buck. And she wakes up in the morning, lifts up her pillow and the tooth is still there. She's disappointed, but her parents regret not replacing the tooth with a dollar. And so regret depends on our control over things. I mean, just like I'm a basketball fan. I live in Washington, D.C.

I'm disappointed that the Washington Wizards haven't won an NBA championship for 40 years. But I can't regret it because I don't have any control over it.

I'm disappointed that the Washington Wizards haven't won an NBA championship for 40 years. But I can't regret it because I don't have any control over it.

I'm disappointed that the Washington Wizards haven't won an NBA championship for 40 years. But I can't regret it because I don't have any control over it.

And that's why it feels so bad because you can't fix it. Some of our regrets we can undo. So for instance, there's a guy who I write about who got a no regrets tattoo. and then he regretted it, and he had his tattoo removed. Okay? So you can undo your regrets. Another thing that you can do for regrets that are harder to undo is that you can find the silver lining in them. That's a much more common

And that's why it feels so bad because you can't fix it. Some of our regrets we can undo. So for instance, there's a guy who I write about who got a no regrets tattoo. and then he regretted it, and he had his tattoo removed. Okay? So you can undo your regrets. Another thing that you can do for regrets that are harder to undo is that you can find the silver lining in them. That's a much more common

And that's why it feels so bad because you can't fix it. Some of our regrets we can undo. So for instance, there's a guy who I write about who got a no regrets tattoo. and then he regretted it, and he had his tattoo removed. Okay? So you can undo your regrets. Another thing that you can do for regrets that are harder to undo is that you can find the silver lining in them. That's a much more common

adaptation that people have. So once again, in this collection of 16,000 regrets, I have hundreds. I think they're all from women that go basically like this. I regret marrying that idiot, but At least I have these two great kids. So you find a silver lining in it. Finding the silver lining in a regret makes it hurt a little bit less. It doesn't really help you draw a lesson from it necessarily.

adaptation that people have. So once again, in this collection of 16,000 regrets, I have hundreds. I think they're all from women that go basically like this. I regret marrying that idiot, but At least I have these two great kids. So you find a silver lining in it. Finding the silver lining in a regret makes it hurt a little bit less. It doesn't really help you draw a lesson from it necessarily.

adaptation that people have. So once again, in this collection of 16,000 regrets, I have hundreds. I think they're all from women that go basically like this. I regret marrying that idiot, but At least I have these two great kids. So you find a silver lining in it. Finding the silver lining in a regret makes it hurt a little bit less. It doesn't really help you draw a lesson from it necessarily.

Over and over again in the world, we see these same four regrets. One of them is what I call boldness regrets. And so I'll give you an example of it. So among Americans who went to college, huge numbers of people regret, I was surprised, not studying abroad. At the same time, I have hundreds of people around the world who have a regret like this.

Over and over again in the world, we see these same four regrets. One of them is what I call boldness regrets. And so I'll give you an example of it. So among Americans who went to college, huge numbers of people regret, I was surprised, not studying abroad. At the same time, I have hundreds of people around the world who have a regret like this.

Over and over again in the world, we see these same four regrets. One of them is what I call boldness regrets. And so I'll give you an example of it. So among Americans who went to college, huge numbers of people regret, I was surprised, not studying abroad. At the same time, I have hundreds of people around the world who have a regret like this.

X years ago, there was a man or woman who I really liked. I wanted to ask him or her out on a date, but I was too chicken to, and I never got around to it, and I've regretted it ever since. Okay, that's a romance regret. We've got an education regret, a romance regret. And then, again, around the world, people say, ugh. I wish I had started a business rather than stayed in this lackluster job.

X years ago, there was a man or woman who I really liked. I wanted to ask him or her out on a date, but I was too chicken to, and I never got around to it, and I've regretted it ever since. Okay, that's a romance regret. We've got an education regret, a romance regret. And then, again, around the world, people say, ugh. I wish I had started a business rather than stayed in this lackluster job.

X years ago, there was a man or woman who I really liked. I wanted to ask him or her out on a date, but I was too chicken to, and I never got around to it, and I've regretted it ever since. Okay, that's a romance regret. We've got an education regret, a romance regret. And then, again, around the world, people say, ugh. I wish I had started a business rather than stayed in this lackluster job.

Career regret. But all of those regrets to me are the same core regret. It's a regret that says, if only I'd taken the chance. And a lot of these regrets come at a juncture of decision making in our lives. In this particular case, you can play it safe or you can take the risk. And over again, over and over again, people regret playing it safe.