Darren Waller

in San Diego and when I was in the sound bath, for some reason it brought up the earlier experiences in my life and I could always look back on myself and I would be like, you know, I was just this like fucked up kid that was just always getting in trouble and always doing these things always.

But I was never able to look at that part of myself as like, like you were just describing like this gentle,

even being like trying to figure out how to navigate the world and find authenticity in myself.

And like, it was just like a lot of pain and a lot of shame present that was keeping me from doing that.

I wasn't like this, I wasn't this fucked up kid.

And in that sound bath, I was able to like connect to that.

I started like crying.

Like after the sound bath was over, like people started like, they had like food there and people were just like talking about, Oh, how much of a great experience it was.

And I was like crying for the first time since,

That experience I told you about where it was like, oh, I shouldn't be crying when I was a kid.

Yeah, and I had to leave.

I just walked around like Encinitas.

I just walked around the city and was just like to myself and being like, wow, like I never once –

looked at that version of myself with any type of kindness or curiosity or or love it was just always like shaming that kid because it was like you know i grew up with like my mom was like the firm one so she was always like no we're not doing that we're doing this like to try to get us to be the best versions of ourselves so it's like i kind of adopted that to myself and like i and that kind of translated into like the relationship i had with god i seen god was just like

You keep doing this shit, you're going to hell type of.

And so it was always like I adopted that shame into like the inner parts of myself as opposed to it.

But that experience was the beginning of like not like I wasn't trying to do harm.

I was really trying to do good, but I was just coping with the difficulties I was facing in the best way that I could.

Yeah.

Cause like the way that the sound baths work, I don't know the science behind it.