Darren Waller

And then I'm gonna go in.

And then it was just like, it felt like somebody just like pulled the plug from behind the TV.

And then like, I come back to, and it's nighttime and I feel like I lost like hell of weight.

Like I was like a shell of myself.

And there was like the biggest glop beads of sweat I've ever seen in my life.

I just like, Oh, I woke up just like,

Drove home, just went to sleep.

My dad got in.

We woke up and moved the next day.

It was nothing.

I think it definitely contributed to it in that.

So that was my second season playing.

And, you know, I was just like, you know, going through it on like a life level.

And I was and I was starting to have these thoughts like, I don't know if like football is really helping me at all.

Like I feel like it's intensifying everything that I'm feeling to a degree.

Right.

And then and so I started to share that with like people that are like, you know, kind of on staff, like team psychologists or whatever, and just trying to

open up to them a little bit and then I tore my labrum in my shoulder with like a month to go in the season and I was still I played the last month and had surgery after the season but I was just like almost like in an active definitely an active self-sabotage was like I'm just gonna take these pills and just like I'm just gonna fail all the drug tests until they you know force me out which they did after the mini camp and OTAs in that June suspension it was just like up until that point I was just

purposely failing drug tests so they could put me out of the league as opposed to me having to say like, Oh, I don't want to play football or you being strong enough.

Precisely.