Dave Evans

And he goes, whoa, reconcile that for me.

I said, regret means that I choose to not accept my life.

And my policy is I don't not accept my life.

I accept my life.

And of course I would do it differently because I'm supposed to be smarter now.

I mean, if there's almost anything that I would look in my past back on and not say, if I had to do over, I would do it differently.

That means I'm just not paying freaking attention.

So back to this trade-off, because if I do further optimize this one thing, particularly in career and capability and performance, I might get more, but at what expense?

So I really do have to decide…

how to allocate this finite resource, this growingly more capable over time, but still always finite resource called myself.

Decliningly available across what different aspects of being a human person, you know, and do I believe I'm supposed to make myself, you know, unhappy and suffering the whole way along or some joy on route okay?

You know, there's an old line, it's heaven all the way to heaven and hell all the way to hell.

Which path am I on?

Oh, that's lovely.

So there's a real wake-up moment that I hit this.

So in my 30s, again, being a dad was terribly important because I didn't have one.

I lost my dad at nine.

Turns out to suicide.

And then I sort of fall into high tech.

That's a long story.