Dave Plummer

So I sent an email to the manager or to the owner of the place.

And I said, I don't know if you remember this, but 10 years ago, I picked up my car and I probably looked unimpressed, but I want you to know that I was very impressed with everything and the quality and everything else.

And he wrote back, he's like, I've thought of that moment often.

That's a good point to jump in there too on empathy because there is some perception in the community that people with autism lack empathy.

And I don't think that's the case at all.

I can only speak for myself.

I feel fairly empathetic.

But I think the problem is a communication one, and it works in both directions.

Whereas I don't know how you're feeling, so it's hard for me to be empathetic with it until you communicate to me what it is you're experiencing.

And then once I know...

Once I have an understanding of what's going on in your head, I can feel incredibly sorry for you.

But until then, I'm going to assume you're going to handle it just like I would in your position, in my case, with what I know now.

Yeah, be really specific.

And don't assume I'm going to pick up on clues and nuance and subtlety.

So if you're trying to nudge me into particular behavior, you're much better off to say, Dave, this is what you need to do.

So masking is, and it's probably not the right way to describe it, but it's the act of acting normal.

And that is how do I conduct myself in a social situation in a way that other neurotypical people are going to, or that other people who are neurotypical are going to receive and accept it the right way.

And everything you do in a social interaction from waving my hands to taking facial expressions to tone of voice, to posture, to

It's a huge contrivance and it's work.

Yeah.