Davey Jackson

What's up, y'all? It's good to be here looking like a disgraced youth pastor. I'm happy to be here. I just got back from Atlanta, y'all. Weird place, a lot of black people. Yeah, I did find out that all the black men in Atlanta are gay, which was weird. Yeah, but also, all the white people are on drugs in Atlanta. So it's like this weird, racist, freaky Friday.

Like, what the fuck did Tyler Perry do to that town, is what I want to know. But all those gay black dudes are still gangster. They're gangsters, fuck, boy. They stole my car and my heart in Atlanta. They fucking... They got me, yeah. A lot of people say once you go black, you never go back. All right. I like Mexican women. Yeah, yeah, I like to say once you go Mexican, you never rest again.

Because you have to sleep with one eye open because they will stab you, they'll do that. Once you go Latina, you're gonna get a subpoena. You will end up in court. That's just kind of how that works. I'm Davey Jackson, thank y'all.

I have, yeah. I've also gone black before. Yeah.

I got gonorrhea, so that was pretty fucking cool. Wow.

So much. I actually just met Kyle Rittenhouse. Okay, yeah. That was pretty cool, yeah. Actually a really sweet guy.

Damn right. Such a nice dude.

I met him at a party. I was talking about having a breeding camp. Was it a Republican party?

A lot of guns and skateboards involved. Pretty fucking cool.

Yeah, yeah. Really? Yeah. That seems safe. Yep. I mean, there's less safe ways to meet Kyle Rittenhouse from what I've heard. Yeah.

Yeah, it was pretty cool, though. He apparently also has a breeding kink, so that was fun. We just talked about coming in, ladies. Really? Yeah, it was cool. He was a nice guy.

I was really just talking to some buddies about how I was worried that I have a breeding kink. And I heard a young voice behind me go, me too. Yeah. And Kyle Rittenhouse walked around my left side, and I was like, oh, fuck.

That makes sense, actually, for David, yeah.

Leave him alone, dude.

Actually, Joe List doesn't know me, but I'm actually familiar with Joe. Okay. Yeah, you and Mark Norman talked about me on your podcast one time. Really? Yeah, yeah. In what capacity? Well, Mark secured some Xanax one time.

Yeah, yeah. From you? Yeah, yeah. Okay. That also tracks. Yeah. Yeah. Y'all talked about it on Tuesdays with Stories.

No, I'm not mad. I don't really know you. Kyle, come out here real quick. Huh? No, you rightfully called me a piece of shit for giving him Xanax. Yeah, that sounds right. No. He was telling you the story, and you said that they were probably laced with fentanyl. Which... Did I say that? Yeah. Well, maybe something along those lines. I don't think I said that.

Well, you know, we can go back and listen. Wow.

I mean, yeah, probably, but I like Mexican women.

Christ, is that Walmart riffraff? What the fuck is happening? Holy shit. It is unbelievable.

It's a little bit of both, but I mean, I've fucked Mexican women, so they're going to get pregnant. They're immune to plan B, apparently.

I like the idea of getting a woman pregnant. Okay. Right, yeah. Right. But that's very dangerous in Texas, as we know.

Me? No, no, no, no, absolutely not. I have had a woman poke holes in one before, though. Right. Those Mexican women will stab anything.

Oh God, I'm so sorry, Mom. It's gonna be at least three that I know of. Wow, three that you know of? I'm a piece of shit, you were right, you were right, Joe. I feel terrible, I don't even know who you are.

I mean, honestly, not enough, because I've got to have at least one or two kids out there, so... Wow.

That's a very late-term abortion.

Was that a circular song?

Man!

Well, yeah, it's very quiet, typically speaking. Yeah. Yeah. It's not a fun time. Yeah. I mean, it's a great time. Internally, I'm celebrating, obviously, but externally, you have to look sad. Like, you just have to kind of maintain that.

Absolutely.

One of them happened literally right after I had a threesome.

Yeah.

No, no. Oh, fuck. That would have been so expensive. Holy shit.

Yeah, but it was kind of like a high moment for me and then a really low moment right after. So it was just a roller coaster, an emotional roller coaster.

That's so true. You're right about that. In retrospect, I should have just.

Right, yeah.

No, no, huh? She didn't seem like mom material, if I'm being real.

She's pretty hot. I'd pay for one for her.

Holy shit. You did? Yeah, yeah, no.

Yeah, very much so. She homeschooled me all the way through high school.

Some would say, I still kiss her on the lips, it's fine.

I misunderstood that. Fuck you.

Ah, fuck. I hope not.

I mean, I'm not coming in my own mouth, Tony. So, yeah, she would still kiss me on the lips, I feel like. That can be fun.

Just kidding.