David Deida

It hurt me too much.

For instance, when I went to college at 16 years old, I entered a program that was a combination of medical school and undergraduate school.

at a very young age so i was going to medical school very early and studying science and all of these things and at one point i remember just sitting there in the library studying i you know i was dissecting brains and labs i was in it deep and suddenly it was just like i can't do this anymore like the i've outgrown this or uh it's become obsolete for me as much as i loved it

until yesterday, today, it's done.

And for some reason, I was able, I mean, I didn't just quit, you know, I let things go in an easy way, in a responsible way, but it became clear to me that that phase had ended.

And usually, I don't know what the next phase is.

I spent a year living under a tarp on a beach on a deserted part of Hawaii with no money at all.

And

Out of that year came my first book.

So I didn't know that.

I just thought, I'm done.

I'm going to just live under a tarp as cheap as possible.

So I did.

And then I just started writing.

I didn't plan on it.

And

I began to realize that if I could surrender to that process and not be lazy to really put in the work as things arose for me, that what I created from that place of depth was worth something to people.

So I learned to make a living doing what I love.

I don't know if that's answering your question.

Yes, I would say that the pain of living an untrue life for me exceeded the fear of what might happen if I do.