David Farrier

And he was like, yum, yum.

Bring it.

And so she swapped it out for hot sauce.

Hot sauce.

How did that go down?

He didn't like that.

Did it change his behavior much?

No, no, still the same.

Okay, so the next, it's appropriate, the next line in this email, my crazy mum.

I haven't pre-read this.

We'll cut it if it's inappropriate.

My mum is a true weirdo and has done a large number of bizarre things over the years, but one of the silliest was the following story, which I'm inspired to tell by the story of the monkeys getting into the beer.

that you told on an episode of Just Listen To.

I don't even remember that episode.

It was vaguely familiar a long, long time ago.

At one point, one of her many jobs was a night security guard at a shopping center.

She was walking around about 4 a.m.

and heard a noise behind her and saw a crab scuttling down the aisle centered towards her.

Befuddled, she went to the bakery...

and asked the bakers there who had come in early to bake their wares for the day for a cardboard box.