David Kessler

One of the things I remember people always want to know, like,

What did you learn that you didn't know?

How intense the pain can be.

I had forgotten that.

I wanted to write every parent that ever had a child die that I'd counseled a note saying, I didn't get it.

And then I got to tell you, I was someone who used to dish out, oh, go to a grief group, read a book, you know, go to a grief counselor.

And then I had to do that, Mel.

And I went to a grief group.

It took me three times to get there.

I went to a grief group, took my contacts out, put my glasses on, baseball cap.

I had to literally sit five feet from my books.

And I couldn't tell anyone.

I'm that expert.

I couldn't be him.

I actually was in that place, so stuck, didn't know if I'd come out of it.

And that's an important place we go through.

If you haven't been stuck, you haven't been in grief.

First of all, the biggest thing is I got to tell you, when people show up for themselves, when they reach out to a friend, and like if you're a friend, you need to listen to this.

If someone reaches out to you, your job is to applaud them.

If they say, I'm stuck, I need help, I don't know what to do next, applaud them for reaching out.