David Marchese

Is there any part of you that thinks, like, maybe it's not a good thing for the two million people or whoever many people have read your book to be thinking, like, oh, you're emotionally immature, and that is what defines you now?

Is there any part of you that thinks, like, maybe it's not a good thing for the two million people or whoever many people have read your book to be thinking, like, oh, you're emotionally immature, and that is what defines you now?

And, you know, this – I'm not sure quite how to bring this up, but it's sort of to do with, like, where compassion for the harmful person fits into all of this. Because I'll use a personal example. So, you know, I have – very distant relationship with my biological father. You know, there's a lot of pain there. You know, I honestly have seen him twice in the last 20 years.

And, you know, this – I'm not sure quite how to bring this up, but it's sort of to do with, like, where compassion for the harmful person fits into all of this. Because I'll use a personal example. So, you know, I have – very distant relationship with my biological father. You know, there's a lot of pain there. You know, I honestly have seen him twice in the last 20 years.

Maybe we email four times a year or something like that. It's sort of a distant relationship through my choosing. But I don't think that that relationship is evidence of any, like, great... moral position on my part or particularly ethical, or I don't think that it really is showing the best side of who I am.

Maybe we email four times a year or something like that. It's sort of a distant relationship through my choosing. But I don't think that that relationship is evidence of any, like, great... moral position on my part or particularly ethical, or I don't think that it really is showing the best side of who I am.

I think somebody who's more developed and more compassionate would probably figure out a way to have a relationship that isn't so distant. How do we think of the idea of compassion in that kind of example?

I think somebody who's more developed and more compassionate would probably figure out a way to have a relationship that isn't so distant. How do we think of the idea of compassion in that kind of example?

Yeah, what's the answer?

Yeah, what's the answer?

I think there's some fundamental level on which, like... Really, this is all about happiness. How should people set expectations for happiness in their lives? Because, you know, they could decide, hey, like this, my unhappiness has to do with being raised by emotionally immature parents. And I'll work on that.

I think there's some fundamental level on which, like... Really, this is all about happiness. How should people set expectations for happiness in their lives? Because, you know, they could decide, hey, like this, my unhappiness has to do with being raised by emotionally immature parents. And I'll work on that.

And then six months down the line, they realize, well, there's still a bunch of things that they're unhappy about. So how do we understand, like, what our expectations should be for what it means to be happy?

And then six months down the line, they realize, well, there's still a bunch of things that they're unhappy about. So how do we understand, like, what our expectations should be for what it means to be happy?

After the break, I called Dr. Gibson back, and we talk more about compassion and also how people can know if they're truly happy.

After the break, I called Dr. Gibson back, and we talk more about compassion and also how people can know if they're truly happy.

Hi, Lindsay.

Hi, Lindsay.

I'm good. I'm good. So I have to admit that I am thinking a lot about when I brought up the idea of compassion. You know, you cautioned against the idea of compassion, you know, that the emotionally immature person can kind of use compassion as like a, almost like a honey trap. And I say this as someone who is personally fully aware of the pitfalls of extending compassion to the hurtful parent.

I'm good. I'm good. So I have to admit that I am thinking a lot about when I brought up the idea of compassion. You know, you cautioned against the idea of compassion, you know, that the emotionally immature person can kind of use compassion as like a, almost like a honey trap. And I say this as someone who is personally fully aware of the pitfalls of extending compassion to the hurtful parent.