David Senra

I had only my father's experience to go on and no intimate knowledge of men who were at ease with family life.

I didn't trust myself to bear the burden or the responsibility for other people's lives.

My experience with relationships and love to that point all told me I wasn't built for it

i grew very uncomfortable very fast all of this sat nicely on the top of a sea of fear and depression so vast i hadn't begun to contemplate it much less consider what i should do about it

Easier to just keep rolling.

I had it down.

I'd routinely and roughly failed perfectly fine women over and over again.

I figured needing people too much might not provide the best payoff.

Better off playing defense.

But it was getting harder and harder to pretend nothing was amiss.

Two years inside of any relationship and it would all simply stop.

As soon as I get close to exploring my frailties, I was gone.

It was rarely the women themselves I was trying to get away from.

At work, I could take on all the responsibility it could load on my shoulders.

But in life, all I could find was a present that I could take no comfort in.

This goes on for dozens and dozens of pages.

This is what he's explaining to us.

Like, this is sad.

He does not want to live this way.

He wants to find a way to fix it.