David Senra

And so that leads him to divorcing his first wife.

And so originally they start living together in New York City.

And he says, in New York City, I was a magic rat in his maze.

I couldn't get the sky, couldn't see the sun, and couldn't run.

So he's like, I'm not a city boy.

He goes, this is my one try, my only try at becoming a city boy, and it was a no-go.

So we packed up our bags and headed back to Jersey, where she and I spent a summer, with me up to some of my old ways and thoughtless behavior.

Patty was patient to a point.

Patty and I fought a lot, which was a good thing.

I never argued much in most of my other relationships, and it had proved detrimental.

Too many issues simmering unresolved beneath the surface always proved poisonous."

And so he starts to hurt her.

These incidents occurred only with people I cared about, people I loved.

That was the point.

I wanted to kill what loved me because I couldn't stand being loved.

It infuriated and outraged me.

Someone having the temerity to love me.

It was ugly and a red flag for the poison I had running through my veins and my genes.

Over the years, I'd come to the realization that there was a part of me, a significant part, that was capable of great carelessness and emotional cruelty, that sought to reap damage and harvest shame, that wanted to wound and hurt and make sure those who loved me paid for it.

It was all straight out of my dad's playbook.