David Senra

Time to change, Andre.

You can't go on like this.

Change, change, change.

I say this word to myself several times a day, every day, while buttering my morning toast, while brushing my teeth.

Less a warning than a soothing chant.

Far from depressing me or shaming me, the idea that I must change completely from top to bottom brings me back to center.

For once, I don't hear the nagging self-doubt that follows every personal resolution.

I won't fail this time.

I can't because it's changed now or changed never.

The idea of stagnating, of remaining this Andre for the rest of my life, that's what I find truly depressing and shameful.

Decisions, especially bad ones, create their own kind of momentum.

And momentum can be a bitch to stop.

I've decided to recommit myself to tennis, to start at the minor leagues and work my way back up.

I'm 27, the age when tennis players start to fade, and I'm talking about a second chance.

I'm slow, fat, frail as a kitten.

I haven't picked up a dumbbell in a year.

I've never been so disgusted with myself.

And so at this time, he's reading Nelson Mandela's autobiography.

And there's one of Nelson Mandela's favorite quotes that Andre would identify with and repeat to himself.

I am master of my fate.