David

Much like a Whitman sampler, he seemed to offer a little bit of everything. Pass on his athletic ability and you might partake of his excellent manners, his confidence, his cultish enthusiasm. Even his parents seemed invigorated by his presence. All right then, Mr. Pope said. Now that everyone's accounted for, I'm hoping we can clear this up.

Much like a Whitman sampler, he seemed to offer a little bit of everything. Pass on his athletic ability and you might partake of his excellent manners, his confidence, his cultish enthusiasm. Even his parents seemed invigorated by his presence. All right then, Mr. Pope said. Now that everyone's accounted for, I'm hoping we can clear this up.

Sticks and stones aside, I suspect this all comes down to a little misunderstanding between friends. I lowered my eyes, waiting for Thad to set his father straight. Friends? With him? I expected laughter or the famous Thad snort, but instead he said nothing. And with his silence, he won me completely. A little misunderstanding, that's exactly what it was.

Sticks and stones aside, I suspect this all comes down to a little misunderstanding between friends. I lowered my eyes, waiting for Thad to set his father straight. Friends? With him? I expected laughter or the famous Thad snort, but instead he said nothing. And with his silence, he won me completely. A little misunderstanding, that's exactly what it was.

The immediate goal was to save my friend, and so I claimed to have essentially thrown myself in the path of Thad's fast-moving rock. What the hell was he throwing rocks for, my father asked. What the hell was he throwing them at? Mrs. Pope frowned, implying that such language was not welcome in the rumpus room. I mean, Jesus Christ, the guy's got to be a complete idiot.

The immediate goal was to save my friend, and so I claimed to have essentially thrown myself in the path of Thad's fast-moving rock. What the hell was he throwing rocks for, my father asked. What the hell was he throwing them at? Mrs. Pope frowned, implying that such language was not welcome in the rumpus room. I mean, Jesus Christ, the guy's got to be a complete idiot.

Thad swore he hadn't been aiming at anything, and I backed him up, saying it was just one of those things we all did, like in Vietnam or whatever. It was just friendly fire. My father asked what the hell I knew about Vietnam. And again, Thad's mother winced, saying that boys picked up a lot of this talk by watching the news. Oh, you don't know what you're talking about, my father said.

Thad swore he hadn't been aiming at anything, and I backed him up, saying it was just one of those things we all did, like in Vietnam or whatever. It was just friendly fire. My father asked what the hell I knew about Vietnam. And again, Thad's mother winced, saying that boys picked up a lot of this talk by watching the news. Oh, you don't know what you're talking about, my father said.

What my wife meant, Mr. Pope said. Oh, baloney. I looked at my father then, a man in dirty shorts who drank his beer from the can rather than pouring it into his tumbler, and I thought, you don't belong here. More precisely, I decided that he was the reason I didn't belong. How was a person expected to fit in when he'd been steadily poisoned by his parents?

What my wife meant, Mr. Pope said. Oh, baloney. I looked at my father then, a man in dirty shorts who drank his beer from the can rather than pouring it into his tumbler, and I thought, you don't belong here. More precisely, I decided that he was the reason I didn't belong. How was a person expected to fit in when he'd been steadily poisoned by his parents?

Bad little doses until he was ultimately so contaminated that no one would have anything to do with him. The hokey Greek phrases, the how-to lectures on mixing your own concrete, the squabble over who would pay the stupid dentist bill. Little by little, it had all seeped into my bloodstream, robbing me of my natural ability to please others.

Bad little doses until he was ultimately so contaminated that no one would have anything to do with him. The hokey Greek phrases, the how-to lectures on mixing your own concrete, the squabble over who would pay the stupid dentist bill. Little by little, it had all seeped into my bloodstream, robbing me of my natural ability to please others.

Well, Mr. Pope said, I can see that this is going nowhere. My father laughed, saying, yeah, you got that right. It sounded like a parting sentence, but rather than standing to leave, he leaned back on the sofa and rested his beer can upon his stomach. We're all going nowhere. At this point, I was pretty sure that Thad and I were envisioning the same grim scenario.

Well, Mr. Pope said, I can see that this is going nowhere. My father laughed, saying, yeah, you got that right. It sounded like a parting sentence, but rather than standing to leave, he leaned back on the sofa and rested his beer can upon his stomach. We're all going nowhere. At this point, I was pretty sure that Thad and I were envisioning the same grim scenario.

While the rest of the world would move on, in a year's time, my filthy, bearded father would still be occupying the rumpus room sofa. Christmas would come, friends would visit, and the popes would bitterly direct them towards one of the easy chairs. Just ignore him, they'd say. He'll go home sooner or later.

While the rest of the world would move on, in a year's time, my filthy, bearded father would still be occupying the rumpus room sofa. Christmas would come, friends would visit, and the popes would bitterly direct them towards one of the easy chairs. Just ignore him, they'd say. He'll go home sooner or later.

In the end, they agreed to pay for half the root canal, not because they thought it was fair, but because they wanted us out of their house. Some friendships are formed by a commonality of interests and ideas. You both love judo or camping or making your own sausage. Other friendships are forged by a mutual hatred of a common enemy.

In the end, they agreed to pay for half the root canal, not because they thought it was fair, but because they wanted us out of their house. Some friendships are formed by a commonality of interests and ideas. You both love judo or camping or making your own sausage. Other friendships are forged by a mutual hatred of a common enemy.

On leaving Thad's house, I decided that ours would probably be the latter. We'd start off grousing about my father, maybe going so far as to scratch up his car, and then, little by little, we'd move on to the hundreds of other things and people that got on our nerves. You hate olives? I imagined him saying. I hate them too. As it turned out, the one thing we both hated was me. Rather, I hated me.

On leaving Thad's house, I decided that ours would probably be the latter. We'd start off grousing about my father, maybe going so far as to scratch up his car, and then, little by little, we'd move on to the hundreds of other things and people that got on our nerves. You hate olives? I imagined him saying. I hate them too. As it turned out, the one thing we both hated was me. Rather, I hated me.