Davina McCall

And of course, I would just internalize it because when we did Don't Ya, I was still on the chopping block.

A lot of the group shots I wasn't in.

One of the dance scenes, I'm dancing in my socks because I was trying to go on my belly to go down the banister to make epic moments because I had to show them that I was undeniably needed in this group.

I went to every extent I could.

You were fighting for your life.

I was fighting for my life.

And Andrea Lieberman, who was Gwen Stefani's stylist, she came on board to do this video.

I would stay hours after practice to either help other girls feel good, help with creation.

I mean, when I became a doll, not only was I being a doll, I was helping buy costumes, go to vintage shops, sewing, rhinestoning, staying up all night, doing anything I could to show...

One, I just wanted to learn and be a part and to grow and to be a part of this whole machine as much as I could.

But I also felt like I was having to make up for maybe my downfalls.

So I would overdo anything I needed to.

And I'm a flighter.

And all of a sudden, this was like, no, actually, I have to fight for this.

Yes.

And that was new for me.

Yes.

And so now I was sitting in it and dealing with it and meditating on it and breathing through it and choosing better foods.

And it was like...

maybe I can actually find some self-love for myself.