Dawgface Calderon

Never heard that story.

No.

Crazy.

Oh, wait, I might have.

It's a biblical story, right?

It talks about how the snake came up to the crossing, the boat crossing.

And the riverboat crossing guy, the snake said, hey, I'm trying to get to the other side.

I can't swim.

And the rower of the boat said, hey, I would love to do it, but I don't trust you because you're a snake.

And while we're out on the water, if you bite me, I'm going to die immediately.

I won't be able to continue to row, I'm gonna die, and I have to row in order to go against the tide.

If we don't, the boat is gonna float down the river, capsize, and we're both gonna die.

And so the snake said, hey, if I bite you, I'm trying to get across the river.

I'm paraphrasing here.

I'm trying to get across the river.

I can't swim.

I know that if I bite you before I get to the other side, that you're going to stop rowing, the boat is going to get caught up in the tide, swept down the fucking river, capsized, and I'm going to die because I can't river.

I can't fucking swim.

I can't swim as a snake.

So the boat pilot said, I understand.