Debra Lally

Even months after the funeral, I felt completely flattened.

I'm so sorry.

My young daughter had a lonely birthday and a few months after that she started pre-K.

It was a struggle to get through the work day and that is when I began to notice just how much my already chatty child had begun to talk to herself.

A lot.

It was exhausting enough to get up and go to work while taking care of a strong-willed four-year-old Gemini during this time.

Been there.

So I don't really know what finally made me realize that my daughter was now talking and singing in what seemed like one-sided conversations, sometimes for hours, in her room or outside.

All energy was spent minimally functioning.

And as my daughter is and always has been talkative and imaginative, it wasn't until she started to sing songs I had never heard before and repeat Mimi says, Mimi did, that I even asked her who this person Mimi was.

But actually, I asked about her friend, who I assumed was a friend from daycare, only to get a really judgmental look of disgust.

On a random trip to the store, my daughter then told me that Mimi never leaves the house.

Whose house?

I asked confused.

Our house, she answered.

Oh, I said, feeling like an idiot and finally connecting the dots.

Oh, okay.

I realized my child had to invent a friend just to cope with our super depressing home situation.

I took it as a sign to start connecting with any potential new friends.

I was already a black belt in mom guilt, so I feel that.