Deepika Chopra

And we want to, as quickly as possible, bring them out of it because we truly want them to feel better.

Or B, we also want them to truly get out of this as quick as possible because it's uncomfortable.

We experience discomfort in presence of their discomfort because then it starts to open up, wait, where are these avenues in my life that are similar to this?

And I don't want to experience this.

It really comes down a lot of time to, again, good intention, but us being able to sit with the feelings of discomfort and toxic positivity can be really sneaky.

And it can be phrases that we all say that, again, come from a good intention.

And we don't even know we're in the realm of toxic positivity.

Like when you say everything happens for a reason, or it could be worse.

We're hoping that we're helping someone with a perspective shift.

which sometimes can really work if we are ready for that.

But oftentimes when it's said to us, or we say it, it's an immediate response or reaction to when we are just in the opening of experiencing a negative emotion, which we are not at that moment ready to just turn that off and shut it off.

It can be like good vibes only.

It can look like, don't worry, be happy.

Things will get better right away.

And so these type of phrases are,

Forced positivity, which we know from a brain standpoint does not work and it ignores difficulty.

And I think that the hardest part of it is it vilifies us being able to experience and almost puts a shame on the whole human range of emotion, which we were actually built to experience.

And I think like when people, and I don't know if you feel the same way just from your own interviewing and doing what you do,

But I think the majority of the time when someone comes to us seeking support or wanting to open up and be vulnerable and tell us something that they're going through, the majority of the time they're not looking for a solution or to be fixed.

The majority of the time they're just looking for a safe space to feel seen and heard and validated and really related to.