Dejan Asfaha
Appearances
KILL TONY
#705 - JIM NORTON + TONY CARUSO
So I live in a gentrified white neighborhood. So there's a lot of pressure on me to be the friendly local black guy. And it's tough, you know? It's hard. It's hard being a real nigga when you live on Avocado Street. You know? It's hard because people don't understand race, you know? Like one time I was at a comedy show and I was watching a black comedian perform. He was saying the N word a lot.
KILL TONY
#705 - JIM NORTON + TONY CARUSO
And this white woman next to me turned to me and she was like, am I allowed to laugh? I was like, absolutely not. As a matter of fact, every time you hear the N-word, hold your breath. All right, that's my time.
KILL TONY
#705 - JIM NORTON + TONY CARUSO
I started in L.A., and then I moved back to Seattle like a year ago.
KILL TONY
#705 - JIM NORTON + TONY CARUSO
I already knew that shit was coming. You might as well play the Lion King music now. Well, you know what?
KILL TONY
#705 - JIM NORTON + TONY CARUSO
What do you do for work, Dejan? I'm about to work as a tutor. I'm about to work with kids, but I was just working security right now. Okay.
KILL TONY
#705 - JIM NORTON + TONY CARUSO
I got an elementary school. Oh, wow. I did that, too, when I was in L.A. for a bit.
KILL TONY
#705 - JIM NORTON + TONY CARUSO
I mean, I like grabbing it. You know what I'm saying? I like, if she on top, yeah.
KILL TONY
#705 - JIM NORTON + TONY CARUSO
I just, I have done security work for just, like, office buildings around type shit.
KILL TONY
#705 - JIM NORTON + TONY CARUSO
Yeah, I used to do that just because it was, like, cushy and I could, like, write jokes during the daytime type shit. Yep. But, um, I had the other security job I had, they were just trying to make me do, like, actual security. And I was like, fuck no, nigga. Like, what, what? Yeah, they would be like, confront that crackhead. No. I'd be like, what? They'd be like, you're good.
KILL TONY
#705 - JIM NORTON + TONY CARUSO
You don't have a gun, but it's okay. Like, because it was unarmed security. I was like, nigga, that's a paradox. Right. Exactly. Skateboarders and shit.
KILL TONY
#705 - JIM NORTON + TONY CARUSO
I mean, it's hard to have hobbies because I'm constantly doing this shit. But honestly, casually dating. I was dating a lot when I got back to Seattle. What do you like to do?
KILL TONY
#705 - JIM NORTON + TONY CARUSO
And then it's G-E-N. I know it's spelled confusing. Yeah, you have a point. I don't mind when people mispronounce it.
KILL TONY
#705 - JIM NORTON + TONY CARUSO
Hey. Bitch, you be blacking up my name. And you know what's crazy? Somebody mispronounced my name while I was hitting it, too. Oh, shit. Yeah, she said it just the way you said it, nigga. What did she yell, Beetlejuice? Yeah. She was like, ooh, Dejan. And I was like, uh-huh.
KILL TONY
#705 - JIM NORTON + TONY CARUSO
If you're talking to her, you got to schedule the date ASAP, like within the first five messages type shit. Yep. And then you meet her in person. By the way, I'm not no nigga that be getting pussy all the time. That's what you have to say.
KILL TONY
#705 - JIM NORTON + TONY CARUSO
But you got to schedule the date ASAP. Do some simple shit. Just talk to her, get drinks type shit. You don't got to take her to an aquarium. You're goddamn right. You're goddamn right. You don't got it. Hell yeah. And introduced the idea of sex ASAP. That's what I... Absolutely. My early 20s, I fucked that up. I never, like... Yeah, you would go to the aquarium.